Does Anyone Else Just Randomly Feel Like They're Annoying Everyone Around Them And That They Should Just

Looked at a patient who two weeks ago was lifeless and motionless and on their way to death... and today they were sitting on the bed and smiling at me and all I could do was smile back and give them thumbs up and blink rapidly as to not cry in front of a nurse and the physiotherapist....

(Ecclesiastes 7: 10)

Your best years are always the years in front of you, never behind. Besides, God is the God of "new things" and each new day is a brand new blessing.

bringing people to Christianity

God placed this on my heart so I want to share:

When I was younger I first became a Christian because I didn't want to go to hell. My faith was purely based on not wanting to go to hell so I would try hard not to sin that way I would go to heaven. However, that is such a watered-down version of why we should have faith. As I grew older I felt God was calling me to reexamine my faith and become close to Him. Over the past 2ish years I have grown so much because instead of being Christian simply to not go to hell my faith was built on my relationship with God. He is the friend, parent, and just love that I have always searched for and wanted. He is the true embodiment of love. If you are wondering why you should be a Christian it is because at your lowest moments, where you feel most broken, underserving, lost, etc. the answer is Christ. HE LOVES YOU, not in a cheesy way but in a way where he died for you to save you from yourself. He wants to show you His love, and he provides peace. It is in a relationship with Him that even though I worry, and feel burdened, I can still have peace because of his presence in my life.

I just pray that anyone reading this accepts Jesus Lord and seeks a relationship with Him. I pray they do not get caught up in the "aesthetics" and try to be "that Christian girl" or the perfect person so that they don't go to hell, but instead I pray they seek you so that they can feel your love so that they can feel your breath of life into their own lungs. I pray that all who read this find you, so that they can encounter the peace, and love I have in following and getting closer to you. Jesus is what you have been seeking. Amen.

@digital-medic @chibird

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sunday, september 17th, 2023 | 49/100 days of productivity

I woke up in a grumpy mood, but I did some yoga and then sat on the balcony and drank some tea while I started a reread of Braiding Sweetgrass. it's one of my favorite books and I really wanted to reread it this year. just reading the first few pages snapped me out of my bad mood <3

today's productivity:

did laundry

cleaned the bathroom

did some prep for a budgeting challenge next month

today's self-care:

I woke up at a reasonable hour

I did yoga!

I have some friends coming over this afternoon to play board games :)

28 things i learned at 28

you’re allowed to simply Exist. productivity is not a competition that you are constantly losing, and you don’t need to earn your rest

there will never be a moment quite like this one again - take the picture

leave your work at work! those after hours emails can wait until morning to earn your time

how hard you work doesn’t go unnoticed or unappreciated

on that note, it’s okay to way to be noticed or appreciated for how hard you work

you’ll never stop surprising yourself

don’t forget that everything you do, you aren’t doing it for numbers or notoriety; you’re doing it for your younger self who would be so amazed you’ve done what you’ve done

no one will ever be as hard on you as you are on yourself

give yourself a break from time to time

doing your best is, in fact, doing enough

you’ll earn that money back but the memories are irreplaceable

disney is, in fact, the most magical place on earth

spending time with your best friend will truly heal your soul in ways you can never explain

you’re going to say the wrong thing. you’re going to do the wrong thing. being wrong is a part of life you can’t avoid

your anxiety will be so loud, it’s okay to ask to be loved louder

getting lost in a book is a great escape unlike any other

the more you focus on your recovery, the more you’re going to notice the habits that lead you to choose recovery

don’t hate yourself for sucking in your stomach in photos

don’t be so hard on yourself for having to actively make the decision to eat

just because it doesn’t come naturally to you, doesn’t mean it’s impossible for you to do

you can do hard things

the bad days can, and will, be forgotten

the good days can, and will, happen

when in doubt, shave your head

you don’t need to or be anyone that you aren’t; who you are is just fine

you’re hurting right now; you haven’t been hurting the entire time

even though it can be hard to remember such a time, there have been moments without pain

it’s okay that you didn’t cherish them at the time

(cc, 2022)

We can sometimes stop and appreciate the scenery. Then time will gradually being to flow more quickly. Time will slip away, and we won't be able to do anything about it. We'll enjoy all the happiness that life grants us.

Peeling back the anxious thoughts is the toughest part, but it helps so much, especially when you write them down! Some of my favorite techniques:

1. What is the worse case scenario, and could you live with it?

2. What would you tell a friend going through this?

3. Will you remember this is in 5 years, or will you overcome it like you did with your past challenges? 

I’ve been thinking about this little analogy for a bit, and it’s helped me reduce the weight a recent stressor has had on me. A manufacturing issue had been making me anxious this past few week, but when I stripped it down, it was just another blip that I’d deal with. I realized I had been adding all these layers of anxious thoughts onto something that I’d definitely overcome, even if the worst case happened. So I hope picturing your anxiety as an onion with a smaller, baby stressor inside can help you lighten the load of your anxieties!

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