Bpd is not being able to love yourself unless someone else loves you, but never fully believing that they could actually love someone like you.
Knowing I’ll never have healthy, sweet, happy, long lasting love with someone is so painful.
I’m not worth it and you’ll figure it out.
You’ll realise it when I split, when I become distant and difficult, when I say I’m done then cry until I can’t breathe because you’ve actually left.
You’ll leave me for someone ‘normal’, someone easier to love and care for. Someone easier to be around. Not someone perfect, such a thing doesn’t exist, but someone that isn’t too far gone.
I’ll be too much and not enough for you in all the worst ways and I hate it. I hate that I can’t be loved. Worst of all I hate you for it and I don’t even know you yet.
im only a survivor because im physically here, i was killed in every other way. im afraid i’ve always been dead and that i always will be.
Every time I think about messaging or calling someone, I have to remind myself that no one cares. If they did you wouldn't have to be the one always reaching out. They'd probably check up on you by now.
Just saying
I genuinely think there’s something so irrevocably wrong with me that no matter how hard I try to recover and distract myself with good people and nice things I will never be able to escape it
When you reach the point where your planning your suicide but still no one even noticed you were struggling in the first place <<
If they only knew....
*me, still insane* “I used to be sooooo crazy “
TW: lots of dark and uncomfy topics but if you're here that's probably what you're looking for ... I hope that someday we can both find a way to be ok.... I don't care what that way is.... whatever finally brings peace 20 years old
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