The Thing About General Life Weirdness Is That It's Accumulative. If You Open The Door And Allow One

The thing about general life weirdness is that it's accumulative. If you open the door and allow one (1) unusual thing into your life, that significantly improves the odds of other weird things happening. Just one mildly odd thing is just one mildly odd thing, but they lead the way for things that can be a perfectly logical consequence of the first thing, that would never, ever happen to someone who hadn't invited the first odd thing into their life.

Like let's say you decided to get an iguana. That's not the most common kind of pet, but not unheard of. Perhaps you thought you wanted a cat, but then decided to see what other animals your local animal rescue has available, and holy shit they've got an iguana. So now you've got an iguana.

And being a responsible pet owner - which, again, is a normal thing to do - you make sure you take good care of your new baby. And being a rescue, your iguana might have some issues that they've got from being poorly handled by the previous owner. So you see what you can do about it, and find out a vet who is specialised enough to do physical therapy on an iguana. And naturally, you call them right up and get your iguana cared for. And being such a specialised professional, naturally this vet makes sure to keep their work and personal life neatly separated.

All of these are perfectly logical steps into an unusual direction, but they are also the way you may find yourself saying something like "my iguana's therapist blocked me on grindr."

Tags

reblog iguana therapist

More Posts from This-years-apologies and Others

this-years-apologies

2 years ago

reblog for good luck 🌈🍀 oil on wood, 3x3 inches.

3K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

1 year ago

I’m paying to force seven thousand strangers to see a photo of my late husband having fun with his dog. Tumblr Blaze is totally worth it. XD

Tags

reblog

289K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

1 year ago

happy 1+ year to this. merry dickmas, dude.

Tags

ask dickmas

4 notes View Post

this-years-apologies

11 months ago

Holy. Shit. What are we to do now?!?

NOOOOO!

Tags

reblog Rick

27K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

1 year ago

Tags

reblog THANKS

18K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

1 year ago

"Hi y'all, it's Chronomaster42, the only Youtuber with the ability to travel through, and control, time and space, here with another taste test. I'm here in 1976, and I'm gonna get some fries from Mickey D's before they changed the recipe, and then I'm gonna take 'em back to 2022, and get fries from the same McDonald's, so I can compare. Now, I've got my Nixon, uh, Ford? Carter? Era fries right here, so now I'm gonna"

*everything appears stretched and distant, and then the camera flies through space, through the sun, over millions of different Earths, past the faces of individual people in a thousand different timelines, splintered day by day, the long-dead alive once more, their varied futures lying before them. They appear to be screaming*

"annnnnd here we are, gettin' the new fries, today. I have to say, I like the old fries a bit better, bit more crisp, but Mickey D's fries are still Mickey D's fries, y'know? Anyway, I know some of you guys were freaked out at all the screaming time faces last video, but like, I'm used to 'em, and they aren't even audible to me? But y'know what is audible? That's right - Audible, use code -"

Tags

reblog chronomaster42

87K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

2 years ago

i got gay daddy too 😂

Tags

disco satan

27K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

1 year ago

Untitled.

i made a comic in google slides for some ungodly reason

Tags

reblog THE SQUARES

150K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

2 years ago

need to make an escape plan. idk who to reach out to of where to start. but it is imperative. let me know if u live near the CA bay area and have some kinda way to help a disabled trans woman who is being abused. i wont talk about this much more bc it sucks. but i need help. sorry.

1K notes View Post

this-years-apologies

2 years ago