There Is A Musical Number, What's Not To Love (except The Amount Of Times You Die)

Ok so I have a slightly weird question

I while back I remember you made a dsmp cursed lore masterlist and it was the best thing I've ever seen but I can't find it anymore? Would you happen to have it somewhere?

not weird at all! now... admittedly, I can’t find the post again myself BUT I sure as hell still have the original notes, so I’m just gonna copy paste it all here. It’s been updated since I first posted it even ❤️

canon things in dsmp:

- mpreg (x4) (tubbo, quackity, hbomb, ponk)

- quackity’s only had canon sex to our knowledge on purpled’s builds (the ufo and walmart parking lot)

- skeppy can’t read

- phil fucked a fridge

- wilbur fucked a salmon

- quackity gave birth to el rapids and schlatt is the father

- wilbur spent a month straight in the afterlife talking about hemorrhoids

- wilbur spent 9 years in the afterlife playing competitive solitaire

- fundy has three different birth stories, including: biological son of wilbur and a salmon, born asexually via wilbur’s toe, and died and was reborn like a pheonix as wilbur’s son

- God came down to build george a mcdonalds

- dream’s canonically a stripper

- sam and punz are also canonically strippers and have both given bad a lapdance

- karl and quackity constantly hit on badboyhalo, who is their fiance’s father

- related, quackity took bad on a fake date to practice for a real date

- dead wilbur has a fat ass from working out

- sapnap had a drug addiction and was called “cracknap” for a bit

- tubbo and ranboo married each other for tax exemption, when the tax never even applied to either of them to begin with

- sally the salmon was an accountant and her favorite color was brown

- it’s implied wilbur vored sally

- ranboo has no eyelids

- connor is the son of sonic the hedgehog and elise, from sonic 06

- gapples are a gateway drug and tubbo overdosed on them once

- jack and niki tried to assassinate someone with a nuke and missed

- bad is 9’6, skeppy is 2’2, ranboo is 8’5, puffy is 6’9, antfrost is 20’, and foolish is 23’3. dream, conversely, has no canon height

- eret was at one point involved in the karlnapity polycule

- the afterlife partially exists in the real living world that still-living people can stumble into, and it is a shitty gym that only has weights and doesn’t allow cardio

- schlatt, after dying, became a landlord/gym owner

- twitter and skype are canon

- eret has a nokia brick phone that somehow supports skype and can only hang up by throwing it into water

- techno has pet fish called betty. he doesn’t know why it’s called betty but just assumed it was lore important and kept it

- bad likes to steal blocks from ppl and store them in his enderchest

- quackity and puffy are both therapists

- muffin is canonically a slur

- “lemonberg” is a slur specifically in lmanberg

- the existence of dream, mexican dream, girl dream, and dreamXD where all are separate entities and mexican dream and girl dream dated before dream killed mexican dream

- schlatt was openly jerking off in the afterlife, likely in front of the other two dead people

- c!fundy is trans and c!punz has no canon gender and is referred to with both he and they pronouns

- the austin show, host of love or host, is canonically dead

- he’s also a literal cannon, apparently

- coconut2020 committed voter fraud

- there have been two different streams revolving around a character’s bath water. one of them is very lore important. in both of them someone drinks the bath water

- schlatt , wilbur, and fundy all smoke

- sam tried to steal foolish’s son

- charlie slimecicle got sent to space tied to a nuke (which has, sadly, seemingly been retconned)

- ghostbur and friend dated, but only in dutch. friend also is referred to with he/they pronouns

- puffy ended up adopting a child after a prank gone wrong

- bad and skeppy are literally soulmates, in that bad tied his soul to skeppy’s and he has infinite lives as long as skeppy is alive

- awesamdude also has a canonical fat ass

- quackity’s canonical fat ass is debated

- Schlatt’s last words were “flatty patty”, insulting quackity’s ass

- techno almost named his sword the coochie slayer bc he didn’t know what it meant

- fundy wore a suit colored in with crayons during the revolution. the reason it looked different from the others is because he didn’t have the expensive set with the right colors

- manhunts, smp earth, smp live, and mcm are all canon. the fundywastaken wedding is semi-canon, in that dream said it wasn’t but fundy said it was

- master oogway from kung fu panda is a major religious figure

- at one point, punz was turned into a chicken and had a baby

- the real spirit’s leather was used to make an item frame, the leather we see used as spirit is fake

- george and popular fortnite streamer ninja are married

- schlatt came to life once before, using his "matpat life", and died again

- schlatt’s body parts were sold at targay (gay target)

- jack once appointed himself king because no one else was on the server to stop him

- ghostbur has access to twitch.tv

- philza minecraft commits tax fraud

- karl’s real name is twitch.tv/karljacobs

- when techno isn’t streaming, he’s hibernating. phil sometimes pokes him with a stick to make sure he’s still alive

- tubbo is short for tuberculosis

- fundy learned how to astral project and walk on water and keeps finding new ways to fly

- foolish canonically spawned with a picture of buff dream

- trance music for racing game plays when dream thinks very hard on something

- fundy went to Australia to practice fire magic and hunt giant spiders, as well as going to Paris with wilbur when he was younger

- awesamdude got turned British by drinking tubbo’s bath water

- ranboo’s full name is ranboo my beloved

- ponk photosynthesizes

- The election was between “People Of Gaming” POG2020 and “Secretly We Are Gamers” SWAG2020

- puffy got her therapy degree from fiverr

- the warrior cats book series is confirmed to exist

- schlatt can’t swim

- awesamdude won miss America

- antfrost was high as shit the entire egg arc

Playing pokemon today and had a nice little picnic and I left it running for 5 minutes when I went to pee, and I came back to 6 fucking eggs in my basket. This is my party.

They are all male except my goddamn houndoom. I have 6 houndour eggs from when I looked away for a couple of minutes, and as someone with no idea about egg groups I have no idea who the father is.

Slut Shame Her.

This!

aesthetic attraction is wild bc it’s like “yes i’m asexual but i’m also very gay and women are extremely hot”

Emmet and his pet chicken

get panini pressed, idiot

2015 - Here are some gifs of Donald Trump being attacked by a bald eagle named Uncle Sam, literally the least patriotic thing that can happen to an American. [video]

"This is (Italian friend) and they're welsh"

"Take a calm tablet"

Reblog with an inside joke you have with your friends.

“Yes, Captain America has LEGS!”

Thank you, /r/ProgrammerHumor, I love you endlessly.

Redditors competing to make the worst volume sliders possible...

the humble easter egg:

Uhh funny caption :3