When You Touch A Bad Texture™ And Have To Scrub At Ur Hands Until The Feeling Is Gone

We had ' robin flew away, hey!'

“Jingle bells batman smells robin lays an egg”… the rest of this memory is too ancient to read.

Racing Pigeon

Chase felt the wind batter his face and he zipped through the woods. He knew he was ahead in the race, wings beating quickly, tucking in to get through spots that where to tight for others racers through giving a head up during races. He was from a family of racing pigeon and wore his dad’s green race suit which fit him like a glove, a small skull embroidered on it.

He caught his wing on a branch and a grey father fell off his wing and a curse brushed his lips, this was a world wide known race, he was still shocked he made it this far. The wind whistled in his ears as he continued to swerve through the trees, heart hammering in his chest.

He didn’t expect what happened next.

A branch fell onto him. A big heavy mass of wood fell on him, a world class racer. He let out a yelp and felt a wing crack when the branch hit him causing him to plummet and pinning him to the floor, pain shooting through is body like hot, white fire. He took a few ragged breaths and tried to move. He couldn’t.

His breathing became faster as he started to worry, he could not seem to be able to get enough air in his lungs. His eyes watered and lungs stung. He wriggled and squirmed but was unable to move as each twitch of the muscles in his back sent waves of pain across his body. What if he couldn’t fly again? How would his family react, How would his Dad react? A Brody unable to fly, it would be a disgrace!

Something wet rolled down his face as he tried to hold himself still, still unable to breath his vision was going as fuzzy as his thoughts, black spots popping up. He couldn’t hear the surroundings, it was as if he was underwater, everything seemed so quite, so, distant. Breaths short and sharp and felt cold and painful, his head pounded. A sob escaped his throat at some point. He was alone, who would find him here? Was he going to die? He didn’t want to die. Thoughts swirled, he was scared, so   bloody   scared.

Then he noticed some movement. It was’t an animal, too big, well he hoped it wasn’t an animal because he couldn’t think of anything that big that was nice. It was dressed in a red t-shirt and dark beige shorts. He looked confused as if he had just walked upon him and a small determined frown appeared on his face

“Hey, I’m gonna try and move this branch, you think you can move?” 

Chase nodded quickly, the sooner  was off the better. The man came closer and chase noticed his short trimmed beard and mustache, His wings where neatly tucked and a woody brown, lighter on the underside. The man put two hands under the branch.

“Okay, 1, 2 ,3, GO!” The man lifted and Chase wiggled from underneath as the man dropped it on the dirt, both of them panting “Hey... I’m Jackie” the man- Jackie said.

“I’m chase, thanks” His voice was hoarse and weak with exhaustion and pain. His wing was bent awkwardly as the line of black feathers was no longer solid or straight. Jackie reached into a leather messenger bag slung over his shoulder and took out a water bottle and passed it to him.

“What you doing out here? I normally never see anyone when I go berry picking” Jackie asked as Chase took long swigs of water. 

“I was racing, taking a shortcut” He said between sips. “Guess I missed the time to get to the checkpoint” he let out a weak laugh, Jackie just frowned. “What are you anyway?”

“A robin, why?” the other man had stood up

“Wait, a robin, how did you lift that branch?” Chase eyes widened. The other man just shrugged.

Finally Chase stood up, ignored the pain that shot down his back and looked round. All he could see was trees for miles but he had a sense of the direction he needed to go, he was a pigeon after all. The other man looked at him. “Want to get outta here?”

“Yeah” Chase replied, he had enough of forests today.

Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

the humble easter egg:

THE BANANAS ARE GAY

THESE BANANAS

THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY

BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE

Chicken nugget

so for bizarre life experiences, today, in a tour for a rental house, the landlord failed to mention that the previous tenant was being evicted. the landlord also failed to show up for the tour, then called the guy he was currently evicting to ask him if he would be willing to give us a tour.

and then that guy did.

whole house was full of cat shit. minimum 5-10 loose turds per room. uncountable layers of piss. whole house was carpeted, of course. the smell was so bad we fled within 5 minutes.

then landlord called us afterwards to give us the whole high-pressure sales routine, yeah it'll be cleaned before you move in, don't worry about it, but you gotta sign fast because this thing is gonna get leased within the day once the smell is gone and i was just. i'm not just not-sold im genuinely wondering if i should call the city about this. i don't know if that house can be fixed. i think that house could be condemned, and he didn't just show it to me, he set it up. he could've refused to let me tour. he could've cancelled. instead be begged and pleaded and weedled with a man that he hated, who hated him, for us to pretty please be allowed to look at the mummified cat turds all over that mans living room. and then that man obliged obliged, and i have no idea who the winner of that whole arrangement was supposed to be.

i know i wrote a diatribe this morning about how people are irrational chaos beasts, but like. damn. even i forget that sometimes. i need a bath.

pro-AI in the sense of "they taught a bread scanning computer to recognize cancer cells" etc etc

against AI in the sense of "we stole artwork from hundreds to thousands of artists, didn't credit them and didn't financially compensate them"

Rivers hiding in a corner: "NO WAY. What do you mean we have to introduce ourselves?? they didn't tell me that, what am I supposed to say? "Hi, I'm Rivers, I eat burritos, I like milk" no, no, traumas, school traumas, no."