Blake: Horny On Main. Currently Lighting Candles. Too Lazy To Let Her Own Booty-call In The House.

Why did My first thought frame this as advice Summer gave (or left for) Ruby?

Either she’s still alive or she wrote up some psuedo-diary for Ruby and Yang full of all the advice she could think of in case [REDACTED] happened.

File one more under ‘Fanfic ideas I’ll probably never write.’

10 Easy Steps To An Oblivious Knight

Step 1: Make Yourself Known

Ruby: Hi. I'm Ruby Rose. What's your name?

Jaune: Ruby. We already know each other.

Step 2: Make Sure He Always Around You.

Nora: Jaune-Jaune. How come Ruby sleeping in the same bed as you?

Jaune: She said she wanted to sleep over.

Ruby:*stick her tongue out and snuggled next to Jaune*

Step 3: Fend Off Unwanted Foes

Cinder: Hai Jaune. I was wandering that if we could...never mind, I just remembered I got plans with Emerald. Bye! *Ran off*

Jaune: I wonder what's that all about.

Ruby:*holding her sycthe and glare at her foes* Stay away you husssiess...

Step 4: Always make sure he and everyone know how cool he is.

Ruby:*On top of table in cafeteria and using a speaker* JAUNE ARC HAS A HUGE DI...HMPHH!

Jaune clamped Ruby's mouth and dragged her out of the cafeteria

Step 5: Make sure he know that you needed him

Ruby: Jaune! Please open this jar pickle for me! It is so tight!

Jaune:*simply opened it with a small pop* Here you go Rubes.

Ruby: Thank you my strong knight.

Jaune: What?

Ruby: Nothing! *Dashed away*

Step 6: If he still oblivious, use a bit force

Jaune:*Only wearing a towel* Ruby! Return my clothes!

Ruby:*sniff his clothes while running* Jaune~I love your scent. *Drool*

Step 7: Insert Your Dominance

Jaune: What are you doing standing on my bed? Get down from there.

Ruby: Feel my dominance! *Proceed to T Pose*

Step 8: Always have small and constant physical contacts.

Jaune:*managed to beat Cardin*

Ruby: Nice work Jaune! *Slap his ass with a nice and firm squeeze*

Jaune: Eeeep!

Step 9: To enforce your desire for him, always remember to imagine a life with him

Ruby:*panting and moaning in bed and under the covers* Jaune! Ahh! Harder! Deeper!

Weiss, Blake and Yang covered their ears as they curse, secretly listening and cried themselves to sleep.

Step 10: If all hope is lost, Just confess

Ruby: Jaune. I like you. Would you be my boyfriend?

Jaune: Sure Ruby. I like you too. Want to see a movie tonight?

Ruby: Sure. I would love too.

Jaune: It's a date. *Kiss her lightly on the lips*

Ruby:*blushed hard*

There you have it. Follow these simple steps and the oblivious charming knight will be yours.

P/s: This steps will also works on an oblivious male ninja, oblivious female ninja, oblivious female brawler, oblivious female heiress, oblivious female babrbarian and other individual that start with an oblivious adjective.

Jaune: *read the steps written on the paper* I wonder if this will work on a certain oblivious female reaper.

Overaccomodating and lowest-key clingy Winter is fantastic.

Would winter actually cuddle with her one night stands or throw them out immediately?

Adult Winter seems like the type to be REALLY into compartmentalizing and keep different aspects of her life separate, so she’d never take a one night stands back to her place. So probably a hotel so she could leave whenever.

Young Winter would probably revel in her freedom outside the manor and the thought of ‘defiling’ her family name in secret. She does bring her one night stands to her dorm but would def kick them out after. And leave them ass naked in the hall if they tried to break their agreement and stay longer than nessessary.

What’s that rule about a pawn getting to become a queen or a knight?

They need to get to the other side of the board first...

My Cinder obsessed brain struggles between the idea that Cinder is important to Salem’s plans more than we think given how Salem backpedals her behavior to make sure Cinder stays loyal to her vs the idea that destiny as stated by the show’s thesis is a myth and Salem chose Cinder because like Hazel, she was perfect to mold into a destiny for her needs.

Sometimes, it really feels like Cinder is important in some way and that Salem chose her for a reason. But in earlier eps on v8, that idea feels contradicted by the “more than a pawn, but not a player” sentiment. So which is it?

The further I read this, the more I headcanoned that ‘Mysterious Chessmaster Ozpin’ is a front that he puts on for literally anyone who isn’t his own staff or students.

From the interrogation room through initiation, he was gritting his teeth to keep all the Dad Energy from escaping.

He brought a goddamn plate of cookies the first time he ever talked to Ruby, probably just because Summer said how much she loved them at some point, it was probably Summer’s recipe.

Glynda came to show him how fake Jaune’s transcripts were and he probably tapped his mug on ‘Accept’ before she got two words out.

He let two teenage bandits enroll in his fight college to try to reform them.

People used to joke about it, but he probably does just wander the school looking for students who look troubled. He is/was a father, and now he has dozens of youths he is explicitly responsible for, many of whom are orphans. You cannot stop this guy giving guidance.

Ozpin keeps up the ‘Wizard’ act for the council, the citizens, and any of the applicants who aren’t students yet. Even other headmasters and their students, maybe. All to keep his dramatic image and his position as Headmaster. All so he can keep helping good kids be better so they can save the world.

I really love your idea of Uncle Oz. But in the early volumes, Ozpin was given the 'menacing, plotting' Dumbledore treatment. Which is weird, because by the time we have the backstory he's just genuinely a caring, wonderful person in an awful situation. Which is also weird, because the hands-off man we know doesn't map to the idea of who the guy must have been to set up the school in the first place. Oz seems like the prime example of the show actively not always knowing where it's going.

Especially since, looking back, I honestly believe that the vast majority of said “menacing, plotting Dumbledore treatment” came from viewer expectation and very little was built into the text. Meaning, this is the Harry Potter era watching a new show. We see an older, white, clearly powerful, somewhat eccentric headmaster and go, “AH HA. I know where this is heading,” even though canonically Ozpin barely does anything to generate those feelings in the story. I’ll admit the “You have silver eyes” line is easily the most damning - What does that mean?? What does he want with Ruby??? - and we have the moment where Yang comments that he’s “off” during the speech, but both of these things happen within the first few episodes. Following that, Ozpin’s mysterious/manipulative persona is obliterated. Not just through all the legitimately good things we see him doing (counseling Ruby, talking to Blake, bending rules to help deal with the White Fang, etc.) because admittedly that all could have still been a part of some larger manipulation. AKA, Ozpin is grooming this group to do his dirty work like Dumbledore groomed Harry. But that reveal never comes. Instead, Ozpin encourages the group to leave if it’s not their own, active decision to help. He doesn’t manipulate people into working for him, he deliberately discourages anyone with doubts from continuing on because doubts, as we’ve seen, lead to people betraying the cause. Just as importantly, the ‘shady headmaster’ persona fails because we learn what his secret is. What’s Ozpin hiding? The fact that there’s a war on. What’s he doing about that? Something nefarious or at least ethically dubious? Uh... no. Actually he’s just doing the best he can with limited options. It’s like if in Prisoner of Azkaban we got to follow Dumbledore’s perspective for multiple chapters, learned pretty much all there is to know about the war, and likewise confirmed that Dumbledore was never attempting something as horrible as raising a kid for slaughter.

Really, the text only starts treating Ozpin as legitimately shady around Volume 5 with the whole bird transformation stuff, which as we’ve discussed was just stupid. Then it was hinted that he had some other, terrible secret hidden away, we waited a whole volume to find out what it was... and then it wasn’t terrible at all. Salem is immortal? Anyone who thinks about this war for five minutes can figure that out. Is it Ozpin’s fault that Salem is immortal and trying to kill us all? Uh... no. No it’s not. So... why was he supposed to be shady again? 

The structure basically went: 

Keep reading

Blake: *Watching from the closet* Damn that's a good line...

Yang: fuck me gently

Jaune: no. I will give you what you deserve

You have to respect the fact that the entire FNDM just agreed Fem!Jaune would be tall and stacked like PowerGirl. But I forgot how cute Fem!Ren usually is.

He’s already tall, and tal and stacked is a wonderful combo. Also, Ren is cute, period.

(that last opinion is sponsored by Nora Valkyrie)

I just wish they’d let you setup a default filter set, if I’m never going to care to read about “Some Pairing” or “Some Fandom” or any sort of taggable thing I wish you could set it once and have it default to being in that slot, even better if you can then remove it just as easily as a one-time thing.

I know about Tuff’s userscript but I’d rather it tie to my account.

Setting a default language or languages would also be nice.

The only thing I want from ao3 is primary and secondary categories for ship tags and a "read more" type deal for the tags so they aren't all on display at once.

I just want to be able to find fics that are mainly about the ship I'm interested in, while being able to scroll past the smut fics tagged with every kink under the sun in a timely manner. Is that really too much to ask?

Emerald: You're our slave now, (Smacks Jaune's ass) so move it!

Jaune: (Immediately turns around to Emerald) Did you just smack my butt?

Emerald: Uh, well...

Jaune: (Seething) My butt...

Emerald: Okay, I can see you're upset.

Jaune: (Growling) My butt!

Emerald: J-Just calm down for a secomd!

Jaune: MY BUTT!

Emerald: Cinder couldn't prepare me for this.

Jaune: (Lifts Emerald up and bends her over) I'm going to show you how smacking someone on the butt should really feel!

Emerald: And that's how I met your father.

Why do I feel like his reasons consist of:

Puppydog Eyes and Hip Windows

Team RWBY+NR find out that Jaune has secretly been healing Neo after every fight if she gets hurt

ruby: why?.

weiss: shes evil!

blake: and crazy

yang: she tried to kill us

nora: yeah!

ren:

jaune: look i have my reason. you dont need to worry

Why did he even put the pants back on?

Ruby: Yang isn’t thirsty ALL the time, right Yang?

Yang: