Because Apparently This Needs Saying Because I Haven’t Been Direct Enough About It. Friendly Reminder

The fact that John Oliver is anti-autism and pro-"cure" is really disappointing.

I I think I mentioned this before but can't find the og post so I'm just gonna talk about it again.

I want people to understand that not all pyromaniacs are anarchists, not all anarchists are pyromaniacs and pyromania and anarchy do not go hand in hand.

I would much prefer if people would stop portraying every anarchist character as a pyromaniac esp cuz they're not actually doing acts of anarchy nor portraying pyromania properly. They're just burning shit and yelling "fuck (in-story mega corp here)"

That said, I am proud of actual pyromaniacs (and pyrophiles) who are anarchists. Because I too wish we could dismantle capitalism and shit.

Just please dont go around burning property and crap in the name of anarchy, regardless if you have pyromania or not, a crime is still a crime and there's enough parts of the world burning to the ground and purring people and general life in danger right now.

Pyromania and anarchy do not go hand in hand, do not make these your characters only/defining traits. Please.

Ones a movement/belief system, the other is a fucking condition.

Activities to cope

There are many ways to cope with pyromania.

A few activities one can try that are relatively harmless are:

- watching fireworks

Be it watching videos, or watching them at any events near you

- watching chimney fires

There is always, if you have it, a channel on tv just for a chimney fire, there are plenty videos on YouTube for just that, and if you have one yourself that's even better. Of course this can extend to bonfires and campfires as well.

- watching candle flames

Safely lighting candles in your own home is a very easy accessable activity. Tea lights and other candles are pretty inexpensive and easy to find at dollar stores along with lighters and matches. I recommend scentless candles.

- watching flame art

There are many videos on YouTube around artists who involve fire in their craft, from flame eaters to charcoal artists or match artists and more.

- burn paper scraps or old homework

Safely burning small bits of paper or papers that no longer surve a purpose to you like years old assignments, preferably doing so over an ash trey or better yet in your backyard, and watching the flames eat away at the paper can be fine.

- igniting a lighter

I mentioned this one in a few previous posts and it's one I do frequently myself, turning on a lighter and watching the flame it creates. Be careful not to ignite it around anything flammable and if you try touching the flame do not let your fingers linger on it long, a short motion over or through the flame is relatively harmless. Though the slower you are and the more you linger a surface burn on that spot will show up. So be very careful.

- watching fire on the news

There are (sadly) always reports of house fires and forest fires, you can always turn on the news and see if there's a report that day or search for old recordings of such online.

- the gas stove.

This one only works if you have a gas stove, and it's one I urge you to have a lot of caution with. But turning on the gas stove and watching the blue flames on the burner can be alright. In fact you can cook something with it like popcorn or eggs if you feel like it. snack bonus!

- hot coals

Hot rocks, hot packs or anything that heats up if you don't have access to hot coals can be fine. While none of it is actually fire, you do get to feel the heat and warmth of something and for some this can be an okay fix even if temporary. Please be very careful with what you put in the microwave or leave out in the sun.

Are there any activities you do? Do you have a favorite?

What other ways do you cope?

some of y’all will be like “yeah i support autistic people” and then go bully the weird kid at school

*mom voice* You can get these words back when you know what they mean

when a disabled or chronically ill person tells you they cant do something, fucking listen. our limits arent negotiables, we cant hold on for "just a little longer", its more than "just one second". stop trying to get us to push ourselves. it's basic respect.

My sister’s blind dog loves fetch

(Source)

Why “It Was Just a Question” and “It Was Just a Joke” Are Not Defenses For Ableism And Why Your Reaction Is the Most Important Thing

When someone is disabled, neurodiverse, etc people can sometimes ask really ignorant, invasive, or invalidating questions that take emotional labor to answer. And sometimes there is a lot of pressure to answer. This is even worse if it is a joke instead, and the options are to ignore it or say something and risk being yelled at because “it was just a joke, gosh.” Confronting people and setting boundaries gets you called over-sensitive, over-reacting, childish, etc.

I’ll make this clear: it isn’t about your questions or jokes - it is about the assumptions you made when you opened your mouth and the reaction you had when you were corrected.

Let’s Talk About Questions.

I first want to say, I started this blog because I wanted to. You are more free to ask me questions than random blind people on the street. The questions I receive here are also good, researched questions where I can tell someone has read my blog or some articles. I’m not posting to give my followers or anyone else anxiety. The whole point is that these people don’t have an interest in learning, doing any of their own work, or challenging their false beliefs. They want me to endure them and confirm them. I haven’t had to do that here and if I did, it would be easier than in real life because I can choose not to answer a question by deleting it. My followers are also already respectful of and educated on blind people, and so if I have a response that is less than perfectly polite, readers will know why. That is not true outside of this blog.

Now let’s talk about questions and why they can be used in a bad way. What makes a question bad? What is the difference between a genuine and ignorant question? What if you don’t have time to research?

A Bad question here is one that is based on a usually false assumption that prompts a desired answer. An example would be, “Are you really sad that you can’t read?” or “Why would a blind person need a phone when they can’t use it?”

I see a lot of these on tumblr. For example, one blog I followed received an ask that basically said blind people couldn’t be in the orchestra because such and such limitation. These questions have, at best, an obvious assumption along with, at times, a confrontational tone. This person does not want education. They want to defend their belief. A better way to truly ask such a question would be something such as, “I read that people in orchestras and choir have to sight read music. How do blind people navigate this?” No assumption is made about a blind person’s ability. The question is asked in an open manner. The asker has done some research.

Now, in real life, people don’t always preface it with how much research they have done. And let’s be real, it usually isn’t much. But someone asking, “Do you prefer Braille or do you use a computer to read?” shows at least some knowledge. They aren’t trying to put me into a box or use me for confirmation bias. It isn’t so much about getting the perfect wording. It’s about not expecting the blind person to confirm something for you, argue with you, or educate you without you putting in any effort. Even “I was wondering how you do assignments,” is open and allows for my response. If you aren’t able to research in the moment, make your question open or be transparent. To be honest, I feel better about people not doing research in person than online, because being online usually shows you have some time and tools to research. If resources are not available to you and you don’t have the internet for long periods of time, preface your question with that and acknowledge that the person does not have to respond if your question is offensive. Again,it isn’t about getting it 100% right, but truly trying and prioritizing the comfort of the person you are asking.

When I confront people for asking a question with an assumption, I often receive an angry response. The fault is placed on me for not educating people, for not being cooperative, for being mean. This happens whether I answer or not. If I try to explain to someone assuming I can’t read that I, in fact, can read or use a phone or whatever, this is seen as rude or not cooperative. Even confrontational. This person comes away from the conversation now believing blind people are rude and angry. Usually they assume the blind person is jealous of them for being able to see. Which, in that instance, would not be true.

Making assumptions that a person cannot possibly do something because of their disability, especially when you are ignoring what that person says, is ableist. Pointing this out is not attacking you or even, necessarily, judging you. They are not calling you any other name, no matter what else you claim it means to you. (I once had someone claim that when I said the word ableism or ableist she heard the word bitch.)

Let’s Talk About Jokes.

This one is much harder to navigate, especially because blind people often make jokes themselves. However, I want to continue to consider the underlying assumption and judgement some jokes can contain. The joke is usually bad when it contains an ignorant assumption and falls apart when that assumption is corrected.

One example is that picture that often goes around with a person holding a white cane is using a phone. The joke asks what’s wrong with the picture. The problem is not that it’s a joke, as most people assume. The problem is the assumption underneath this particular example, which, by the way, can result in blind people being harassed and even hurt. Read my post here.

But it isn’t even the joke that is the problem. The reaction is. Instead of being accused to attacking someone for an innocent question, someone who points out the problem with a joke or even that it was hurtful, gets someone accused of not having a sense of humor or being mean. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that in real life, not outside of this blog. It is, honestly, too difficult and too uncomfortable.

The reaction people sometimes have is one of defense. They aren’t ableist, it was just a joke, can’t you take a joke?, why are you so serious?, you are ruining the joke, etc. People also assume disabled people can’t tell when someone has made a mistake and when they are genuinely asking a question or trying to call attention to something by making a joke. Disabled people are not trying to take all jokes away. They just want to point out when something is harmful. Doubling down about how that person can’t take a joke is a big problem.

Again, it isn’t that someone made a joke about disabled people. It’s the assumptions inside the joke itself that are harmful. For example, jokes about blind people going to cinemas don’t land because blind people do watch movies. The joke falls apart when you remove the assumption - and not knowing that it was an assumption is part of the problem in the first place.

What Now?

Again, this post was never about not asking questions or not making jokes. It is about ways they can go wrong and how people can make it worse by getting defensive instead of being open to learning and moving on. Everyone makes assumptions or repeats jokes sometimes, and whether or not it becomes an argument is about being open to learning.

Disabled people aren’t out there looking for people to confront. Most of the time, they just want to go about their day or have a nice time with friends. If someone corrects you, no matter the setting, treat it as an opportunity for your growth and to make others feel more comfortable. Listen, apologize, acknowledge your mistake, and change your behavior.

My aim here is not to complain or to make people feel bad or even worry excessively. My goal was simply to share my thoughts on why these things can be a problem and offer suggestions on how to avoid them.

I hope this helps.

-BlindBeta

Note: I provide sensitivity reading for blind characters. See my Pinned Post for information.

AuDHD means that someone has both ADHD and autism

pixie have question, for whoever know this word .. what is "audhd " ?

ooh boy love looking up stuff trying to find resources to stop compulsively lying and instead finding so much fucking stigma. I want to get better this sucks just help me get better