So Here’s A Quick Lesson About Having Patience With Kids.

The problem with thinking I'm 'recovered' is that every time I lie without thinking about it, I spiral into a panic that I'm slipping back into old habits or that maybe I was never better to begin with.

.

"Nonverbal people are communicating, they can use AAC devices!!! The only reason a nonverbal person can't communicate functionally is because the people around them are not trying hard enough!!!"

(Sometimes this statement in some situations is true, but I am talking about when it is not true)

Have you tried using symbol based AAC? Do you know what any AAC apps are called? Do you know there is different types of AAC? Have you even actually looked at the home page of a high tech AAC device?

For someone without impaired communication, I think it would probably take about 1-2 months if not more to fully learn their way around a high tech AAC page set.

Now imagine an illiterate person, a person who has severe fine motor delays, a person who does not understand what people are trying to get them to do when given an AAC device, a person who doesn't understand any language at all, a person who doesn't understand what AAC is or even the concept of communication in the first place, a person with little interest in communication.

Can you imagine that person, handed an AAC device? Do you seriously think they will suddenly starts expressing their thoughts in great detail?

Have you ever talked to someone who used to fit the criteria of being profoundly autistic or someone who's profoundly autistic caregiver? Have you listened to how many hours of therapy a week they have for their communication? Sometimes five hours a week and sometimes even more. Do you know that? Do you know how hard some peoples caregivers try? How much they wish their child could be able to communicate functionally?

How much money they spend on AAC apps? Do you even know how much an AAC device costs? A SGD? Thousands.

Stop calling caregivers lazy when they say their child can't functionally communicate their needs. You have no idea how hard they are trying.

Petch (LEGO Friends)

[Image Description: Petch, a LEGO friends character with pale skin, brown eyes, and short brown hair. He is wearing yellow shorts, brown shoes, and a white shirt. There is a purple bag slung across his chest. One of his legs is a purple prosthetic. In the background is a partially visible black LEGO friends character wearing red pants and a green shirt. End ID.]

Petch is an amputee.

Obnoxious how most anti-infantilization activism in many low support-centric autistic communities seems to rely on arguing we don't need support rather than reducing the stigma attatched to needing support.

Simply put, most anti-infantilization autistic activism I see is about how we don't need to be talked to slowly, need 24/7 care, don't need help with going to the toilet, don't need help shopping, etc. because we 'aren't toddlers'.

Which is a bad kind of activism, because, uh, many of us DO need those things. This is a fact. Ignoring it won't make it go away. And saying that only children need those things IS infantilization.

What we SHOULD be arguing is that adults who have medium to high support needs and who need help with or just can't do basic tasks, can't speak or can't speak well, need to have things explained slowly/repeatedly, etc. are still adults and deserve to be respected as such. Having higher support needs isn't childish.

No, people shouldn't assume that all autistics have higher support needs. But autistics with lower support needs also shouldn't erase those who do, when they are ALWAYS the ones most impacted by infantilization.

I feel like we don’t talk enough about how having chronic illness and/or chronic pain makes you irritable. It makes you grumpy. It can make you a not very fun person to be around. 

We don’t talk enough about the ugly sides of chronic illness/pain. The parts where you feel like a bad person not because of the pain in of itself but because everyone else thinks you are pushing them away. The times when you don’t bear it like a saint and the roughest edges of your personality come out. Where maybe you do hurt other people’s feelings. Its a complicated side of the experience thats resists an easy answer. 

The way that we learn about Helen Keller in school is an absolute outrage. We read “The Miracle Worker”- the miracle worker referring to her teacher; she’s not even the title character in her own story. The narrative about disabled people that we are comfortable with follows this format- “overcoming” disability. Disabled people as children. Helen Keller as an adult, though? She was a radical socialist, a fierce disability advocate, and a suffragette. There’s no reason she should not be considered a feminist icon, btw, and the fact that she isn’t is pure ableism- while other white feminists of that time were blatent racists, she was speaking out against Woodrew Wilson because of his vehement racism. She supported woman’s suffrage and birth control. She was an anti-war speaker. She was an initial donor to the NAACP. She spoke out about the causes of blindness- often disease caused by poverty and poor working conditions. She was so brave and outspoken that the FBI had a file on her because of all the trouble she caused.

Yet when we talk about her, it’s either the boring, inspiration porn story of her as a child and her heroic teacher, or as the punchline of ableist, misogynistic jokes. It’s not just offensive, it’s downright disgusting.

hey i just wanted to give a shout out to people with personality disorders real quick. your disorder doesn't make you evil, it doesnt make you an abuser, and it doesnt make you unlovable. you're just as deserving of respect, care, and support as people without personality disorders. stay safe, i love you and i hope you have a happy holiday season. we're in this together <3

want say something about discussion of aba therapy think not mentioned a lot: most places (that I see) online are hostile to aba survivors speaking about aba

there's the constant risk of aba providers or parents seeing survivors just talk about experiences and respond with immediate attack. AND if add any level of nuance to discussion (which often may have more understand of, with experience), then big risk of autistic people who never saw aba respond with immediate attack

These days there are legal systems in place for adopting an adult, even for adopting someone out of adult foster care (like someone could probably adopt Genie Wiley.) That's probably the closest example to what they did.

…how does adopting an adult even work..? I’m a little thrown off by that part, but regardless it seems to have been the best thing that could’ve happened for Horace. He sounds lovely, and it seems a shame the world couldn’t have had him in it for longer.

I honestly don't know. Horace was a ward of the state, as his family had handed over all rights in 1921. Unfortunately, my grandparents and my uncle who adopted him have all died so the specifics are unavailable to me.