Where You Go, I Go

where you go, i go

Tags: Benny Miller x Reader, Mentions of Trauma, Light Angst, Sleepy Mornings, Cuddles, Mentions of Violence, Clingy Reader

A/n: I missed Benny. thanks @princessmermaid1289 for the request!

Word Count: 1.5k

~*~

The thing is, Benny doesn’t always make it easy to leave for work in the morning. He works on his schedule at the gym, so he’s never in as much of a hurry as you are in the mornings. Which leads to its own problems.

Firstly, Benny is absolutely incorrigible in the mornings. He’s used to waking up early and getting ready to go, which can be fun when you’re prepared for it. You never would have thought that you would like having a boyfriend so full of energy and sunshine in the morning, but you’ve come to love how a grin lights up Benny’s face every morning that he sees you. It’s like he is always surprised to see you there like you might slip away in the night if he doesn’t hold you tight enough.

Secondly, Benny does absolutely nothing to discourage you in the mornings. So, when you wake up and don’t want to get out of bed, he’ll happily keep you beside him as long as he can. From whispered conversations in white bedsheets and morning breath-leaden kisses, Benny can’t seem to help you along with your morning routine. And if you do make it out of bed, he’s even worse. He’ll sneak up behind you and plant kisses along your neck exactly where he knows will make you weak, and that alone costs you at least 10 minutes.

Lastly, you have no desire to separate from him. Benny is comfort, safety, and home. It’s a wonder that you’re ever able to make it out of the house when his arms are so secure around you.

This morning specifically, though, it isn’t Benny’s fault that you’re running late. No, you can confidently say that you got yourself into the mess. You know better than to let Benny kiss you good morning with his hair tousled like that. His hands trace idle patterns into your skin, the chill of the air around you is nothing compared to the heat coming from Benny. You should know that once he starts, you melt for him, and then you’re stuck in his magnetism.

You’re right next to him while he brushes his teeth, leaning on his strong frame for support. When he finishes and makes his way into your tiny kitchen, you’re right behind him again, his calloused hand in yours. While he makes breakfast, scrambled eggs and toast, you make coffee, working silently in tandem. You know he likes sugar and milk in his coffee and he knows you need extra pepper in your eggs.

You can’t help but tug him close to you when you hand him his coffee, his hand automatically settling on the skin of your waist underneath the army t-shirt of his that you’re wearing. If it was anyone else, you would feel self-conscious, but that faded around Benny a long time ago. He kisses you again, his breath tasting like mint toothpaste, his free hand moving to cup your face gently. The sigh you let out into his mouth tells him just how deeply you want to be with him all day.

Benny grins at you when he pulls away, and he lightly sets the coffee mug down on the counter beside you. “Honey,” he laughs, wrapping his arms around your waist before tilting your face up to face him. “Why don’t you stay home?”

“I can’t just skip work every time I want to hang out with you,” you protest, leaning into his warmth easily. “As good as it sounds.”

“Why not?” Benny’s low voice resonates against your cheek as he pulls you in closer, his hand smoothing over your hair gently. “You could come to the gym with me and watch me train.” The usual cockiness is in his voice, but you know it’s a genuine offer. Plus, you would be a fool to give up a chance to watch him train.

“I can’t,” you say again, if only for argument's sake. Really, it never takes much convincing for you to stay with Benny. Not when he’s looking at you with those eyes.

“Then I’ll come to work with you,” he offers. “Cathy always says she wants to see more of me.” The boyish twinkle in his eyes is so hard to respond to without agreeing to everything he says.

“Cathy’s in love with you,” you bluntly state. “And she’s got claws to grab hold of you.”

“I’ll be careful,” he solemnly replies, trying to hide his grin unsuccessfully. “Where you go, I go.” Despite his grin, you can feel the gravity of his words. You know the weight of them; they’re more than an empty promise. When you first met Benny, he was a shadow of the man he is today. You don’t know all the details- he’ll tell you when he’s ready- but you know that something bad happened on a job he went on with Frankie, Santi, and Will. They came back without Tom and without anything to show for his death except for a trust fund and a starburst scar through Benny’s stomach.

But you also know that Benny made a promise to the guys. He lived a great part of his life sprinting to catch up to the space behind Will’s shadow. His whole life, he’s been following Will, the ever-devoted little brother.

First, he followed him onto the high-school football team. For years, the Miller name dominated their small town’s talk. Little Benny Miller was just as talented as his brother, a force on the field, and a gentleman too.

Then, he followed Will into the army. Head first, head down, headstrong. Benny, you know, didn’t think twice before signing his name on those papers so that he could do unspeakable, secret things in dark places of the world. Benny doesn’t talk about it a lot, and you don’t ever ask him to, but you know from the sleepless nights and the nightmare-ridden ones that the scars lining Benny’s body go deeper than the skin.

And though you’re sure it won’t be the last time, Benny finally followed Will into the jungle on that goddamn trip. They all lost things there, but from what you’ve heard from Frankie and Santi when Benny and Will go off together and come back with red eyes Benny lost a little bit of his light on that trip. He was- and still is- the most optimistic, selfless person you know. He’s always the first to crack a joke or give an easy smile, but there’s less behind his smile than there use to be sometimes. Maybe it can’t be fixed, maybe this is something that he has to go through on his own, but you’re not going to let him wander without something holding him to the ground and guiding him back home.

So when he says that he’ll go where you go, you know that it’s his way of telling you that today he needs you to be that person for him. Benny can’t simply ask for help when he needs it, it’s against his hardwiring. This is as close as he’s going to get, but you know him well enough to know to take the offering that he’s given you.

There are only so many people that Benny will follow. You don’t know if it’s coincidence or some deeper connection that made you feel how you feel on a day when Benny needs you, but you thank whatever it is.

“Okay,” you agree, running your hands along his arms. “I’ll stay home today. But you get to be the one to call my boss and tell her I’m sick.” It breaks your heart a little bit to see the surprised smile that fights its way to Benny’s face. For how long you’ve been dating, Benny doesn’t ever seem to think that you’ll stay when things get hard. You’ll just have to keep showing him.

“I’ll make it sound believable,” Benny promises. “And if I reach Cathy I’ll make sure to tell her hi.”

“You better not,” you warn, placing your hand on his cheek and tapping lightly. “Do you want me to call Will and the boys over?”

There’s no one else who knows Benny as well as you do. They’ve all been through hell together, so they can bring Benny out of anything.

Benny hums in consideration and grabs his quickly cooling coffee, taking a sip before he answers. “Make ‘em sweat. I’ll take some time with my girl before those assholes come and make a mess of it.”

“Okay,” you agree. “You have a phone call to make.”

“I guess I do.” Benny doesn’t seem quite convinced to let you go yet, and you can’t help but savor the moment. His arms around you, words whispered into the crown of your hair, the smell of his cologne filling your senses.

“Beny?” you mumble against his chest, and he looks at you, his expression honest and pure and everything that he is. “I think the eggs are burning.”

“I’ll make you some more,” he says, laugh lines around his eyes become more prominent. “Let’s just stay like this for a little while.”

You could never say no to that. For however many mornings you’re late to work, you think it’s worth it to have Benny there for you.

To be there for each other.

More Posts from Theonlyprincessamari and Others

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Yup, he's definitely Yuji's big brother

4K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Carmy + Syd Tumblr Tags Season 2

2K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Your fortune for today :-)

53K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Where your heart belongs

based on your moon sign🌙

Do not repost, plagiarize, "reword" my observations. Look into Sidereal & Tropical moon sign and look at the sign that rules the house your Moon is in as well.

Aries Moon: Your heart belongs in the places you finally feel understood after all this time of feeling everything so intensely that you have been prone to explode, you want to be somewhere where you don't feel like you are a bomb that could tick off at any moment. You want to be where you feel loved and where you could feel that it is just you agains't the world. You want to feel like a child again with no worries of what would come next, when it was just you and a soccer ball. You wanna be the protector, you wanna be where you can protect your loved ones and letting them know you are a safe place for them and that they should never feel fear again, and you are the same.. you just want somewhere safe where you don't have to have you guard up all the time where you can relax and let go. Where you can run through the fields freely with your friends with no care of when your next shift is.

Taurus Moon: Your heart belong in the nearest fairy cottage where you feel surrounded by beauty and you feel like you can do whatever you set your mind to. You have everything you ever wanted and you feel as if there would be no harsh times again. Your heart belongs to your close friends that you call family because deep down family & comfort fills a hole in your heart. You wanna be where you can express your emotions freely with no care if that's what is expected from you. You wanna be where you can let some of your beauty spark in, where you can let your beautiful words shine with poetry and love. You belong to the Museums of Arts. In fact you are the art that belongs in Museums, let us admire you from a far.

Gemini Moon: Your heart belongs in the nearest Library where you can feed off information, more than that cereal you forgot to finish this morning.. because of your excitement towards knowledge that you forget the ordinary and it all becomes a blur. Your heart belongs to a place with no time where you can finish every little task you set your mind to complete. Your heart belongs to an environment of people that let you say whatever you want to say with no judgement, someone that wouldn't question your interesting texts at 3 am, because of your restless mind that you struggle to sleep with the thoughts that eat you alive when midnight strikes. Where you can channel your intelligence to the best potential, that's where you'll decide to commit and won't ever let go.

Cancer Moon: Your heart belongs where you can let your feelings and emotions flow at ease and forgetting of the standard that you shouldn't embrace them. Your heart belongs where the nostalgia hits, perhaps that childhood friend you lost contact with or it was the ex / best friend that got away. Where there are bodies of water, where you can feel the fresh air, and the feeling of waves hitting your feet. Your heart belongs to the beautiful moon and the feeling of comfort it gives you and that one night you won't ever forget. Embrace the inner child.

Leo Moon: Your heart belongs to the fantasy worlds you've dreamt of long ago and the immense of creativity you have experienced throughout your life wishing you could make it all happen. Your heart belongs to the place that you are not an outcast, you are the star and everything you put your heart will leave a trace on the world and you shall never be forgotten. You belong to the place filled with only wishes and arts, the place you are filled with only positive energies because you are aware of how much negativity can really affect your subconscious.

Virgo Moon: Your heart belongs to somewhere where you feel at ease and there is not even a slight of anxious thoughts and memories racing towards you. A place where you can let your thoughts out and your intellect shine and you feel as if you were never misunderstood once and for all. A place where you start finding joy in the little things and you let out all that built up standards you have for yourself. Your heart belongs to a place where you are at ease and alone with your pets and animals. You put all your efforts into understanding others with your intellectual abilities that you desire somewhere where your mind focuses on you.

Libra Moon: Your heart belongs to a place filled where you feel as if you can trust and release the worries of betrayal. Your heart belongs to a place where everything you do does not go unnoticed, especially your hard work, where you are praised for your talents and ethics. Your heart desires the feeling of independence and just living at least for a moment where it's just you and the planet Venus, which is your home and where there is no expectations on how you should behave or be mannered. A place with no cruelty a place where everyone is treated the same and you finally fit in. You are your own soulmate.

Scorpio Moon: Your heart belongs to a place where you feel welcomed and the dark insights and experiences that have stuck with you are for once finally gone. Your heart belongs to a place where your burning love and loyalty isn't taken for granted in the slightest. Your heart belongs to the place where you can be a little investigator and digging deep into the hidden secrets of this world that everyone else would dare to shy away from, you don't wanna be in a place where everything is superficial, your heart belongs to a place where everything is scratched naked.

Sagittarius Moon: Your heart belongs to so many places that you'd love to stay forever in, but you can't.. you need to love them all. Your heart belongs to Paris, but it also belongs to New York, you just wanna spread yourself everywhere and who wouldn't be lucky to be feel your refreshing aura? Leaving a trace everywhere you go, those photographs that you simply can't let go because it takes you back to June 4th 2017 and you relive those memories in your heart once again. Your heart belongs to a place like the Sun; bright and hopeful.

Capricorn Moon: Your heart belongs to that one place that makes you feel at home, yes a safe home matters a lot to a Capricorn moon just like a Cancer moon. Your heart belongs to those who have never left you in despair when all the thoughts racing were negative and the feelings were crackling back. Your heart belongs to the view of the sea you are represented by the Sea goat after all. Your heart belongs to the knowing that there will always be best for you and you can trust yourself on that. Your heart belongs to the feeling of finally being done with duty and work, the feeling of lacking stress the feeling of being nonchalant and calm.

Aquarius Moon: Your heart belongs to the place that all your innovations and ideas come to life.. you truly are an innovator and you are ahead of your time, a place where you wake up and see change, but good change..the type of change that feels similar to when you finally get into that dream College. Your heart belongs to the manifestation humankind will treat each other in a loving way again, you're selfless,.. you want more to happen to society and others more than yourself, you would dare sacrifice. Your heart desires a place where there is no "standards" and you don't feel like you don't fit in and your intellect shines through and you finally get the admiration that was taken away from you for being different at times.

Pisces Moon: Your heart belongs to another Dimension, it belongs out of this world. Your heart belongs to a place where your energy is at ease and you don't feel everyone's burden so easily, the state of feeling tranquility; calm. Your heart belongs to the Spirit world. Your heart belongs to those who have been treated unfairly and need some love; your selfless nature is a blessing to humankind. Your heart belongs to those childhood memories that are now a blur but are a part of you. Your heart belongs to an environment with no malefactor. Your heart belongs to the little things that make life worth enjoying, like hearing birds chirping while making some breakfast. Your heart belongs in your dreams but made into a reality, manifest your fantasizes.

3K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Ok imagine Joseph Quinn casted as young Hector Barbossa at 20s-30s yrs if they made a POTC prequel show

109 notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

🫣👀🔍

29K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Geto Suguru In Every Episode- Jjk 2.03 - Hidden Inventory Pt 3

geto suguru in every episode- jjk 2.03 - hidden inventory pt 3

725 notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

Benny Miller, Casually Lighting A Fire In My Womb. 🔥

Benny Miller, casually lighting a fire in my womb. 🔥

145 notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago

love the new ghibli protagonist. what a little freak (affectionate). he has NO chill. a kid shoves him at the start of the movie and he instantly tackles them and proceeds to fight his entire class. he bashed his head in with a rock and tried to walk it off. the bird in his garden was doing funny things and he instantly starts making plans to murder it. was ready to beat the shit out of that pelican. i just know if he was allowed to curse he would have called that heron a bitch ass mother fucker. mahito was NOT fucking around.

32K notes View Post

theonlyprincessamari

1 year ago