02.21.23

Slacking off in the name of self care is not okay. Sometimes, the best thing that you can do for yourself is push yourself a bit more to secure the future that you've always dreamed of. 🌱 Productivity is self care 🌱

'I can't. It's too risky,' I tell myself, as I back away from the wings that lay in front of me, the ones that I yearn for, hope for. Live for. Those wings.

'I'm so close,' I argue, 'I've always wanted this.' Those wings.

I can imagine Icarus smiling at the stars burning in my eyes.

'Come,' he would say, 'Fly.'

I smile, closing my eyes, keeping those stars going supernova to myself. And I walk away. Those wings.

'I am no Icarus.'

I remember you.

- the invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwab

The night sky see's it all~

02.01.23

Okay, so I need to start studying like crazy. Today I visited an academy which helps you prep for exams in the evening. I'll be joining it from tomorrow. I realised that I'm not just paying for learning, but for time allocation as well. I'm paying them to take my time so that I can get my life together. I hate how my self-accountability in terms of studying went downhill. I'll be waking up at 4 am from tomorrow.

I love the creased spines of paperbacks, and I'm pretty sure the book wears those creases with pride; "I have not just been read, I have been devoured"

But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. Such a constellation was he to me.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

*kisses the inside of your wrist, and proceeds to hold your hand whilst making eye-contact* happy women's day babe.

When I was born, the word for what I was did not exist.

- Madeline Miller, Circe

And then all of a sudden, it feels like January again, and you're all alone in that blanket of yours, dreaming of sunsets, stardust and peace.

Death is a strange thing. People live their whole lives as if it does not exist, and yet it's often one of the great motivations for living. Some of us, in time, become so conscious of it that we live harder, more obstinately, with more fury. Some need its constant presence to even be aware of its antithesis. Others become so preoccupied with it that they go into the waiting room long before it has announced its arrival. We fear it, yet most of us fear more than anything that it may take someone other than ourselves. For the greatest fear of death is always that it will pass us by. And leave us there alone.

- Fredrik Backman, A Man Called Ove