Did…did Joel Just Use His Wife As A Napkin? Like, He Drags His Hand Down Her Shoulder After Touching

Hello and welcome to my tumblr! I post about the following fandoms:

- Star Wars

- Good Omens

- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

- Doctor Who (I am most familiar with series 1-4)

- How to Train Your Dragon

- Shakespeare

- The Last of Us

- More to be added

I love talking about media critically, so feel free to comment on my posts, send me a meta question or fic prompt for any of the above fandoms and I’ll try my best to respond!

On Gabriel:

Spoilers below…

Oh, I see. Gabriel doesn’t care about Earth. (I never thought he did, but I just figured it out).

He didn’t just leave because he knew Heaven would drag him back.

He was trying to get himself cast to Hell to be with Beelzebub.

Which is sweet, but so…so selfish. Literally the opposite of what Aziraphale wants, who is selfless to the point of ruining the only thing in his existence that matters.

What even. I’m just… it’s YOUR book. YOUR fantasy world. Aren’t you at least… interested in it?

Okay, the third installment of “Domestic Burlesque” is up! I’m insanely excited about how chapter 5 turned out. Please check it out and let me know what you think!

uh...yeah cause it's stealing from real actual humans who are good at it

Okay, so I’m working on Part 4 of Domestic Burlesque, it’s just that it covers 1964-1966 (if you know you know). Obviously, it’s going to end happily, but it gets pretty dark. So, I decided to post a little bit of fluff first. Please let me know what you think!

Okay, part 5 my of Domestic Burlesque series is up! We’re out of the dark times, yay!

No actually.

First of all, Joel. He cheated on his pregnant wife. That’s the first thing we learn about him. But that’s not why I dislike him. I have way bigger issues. We learn that Midge said no when he asked her out, and he didn’t accept this. He tells her that their song is “You Belong to Me” which is so creepy. He judges her drink choice, saying he’ll “fix it”. Amaretto sours are known for not having a lot of alcohol, so it’s kind of concerning that he’s judging her for something that doesn’t lower her inhibitions. He criticizes Midge for things that aren’t her fault (show sweater, him bombing). He introduces the kids to Penny without Midge’s permission, then gets mad at her when Benjamin surprises her at the park. The first thing Midge says is that she needs to clear it with Joel, but Joel doesn’t believe her and just yells at her and accusing her of leaving him. The audacity and double standards are unbelievable.

He lies to her about having no money and not owning their apartment.

He plans to move across the country, knowing that he won’t see the kids. He brings his very young children to live in a factory which he himself points out is full of dangerous, flammable chemicals and sharp, heavy machinery. He doesn’t want Ethan to see a therapist when he’s having sleeping problems. Everyone forgets about these events, which bothers me because everyone rags on Midge’s parenting but never Joel’s.

He never apologizes for what he did. After he and Midge sleep together in 1.8, he acknowledges that he didn’t apologize, but never actually does. Then he has the gall to say that he left because she was “a lot” and claim that he “never really left”.

What’s also concerning is that the minute after Midge puts her rings back on, she starts measuring herself. Part of this is definitely just the time period and definitely her mother’s influence, but it’s interesting how the two correlate.

Deep down, Joel is an insecure child who can’t let his partner be better than him. That’s why he has that fight with Mei about the liquor license. He says in season 3, that he knows he likes “conductors” but then gets upset when they act like conductors.

When he sees Midge perform for the first time, he throws a fit because Midge is good. She tries to work it out, but he just walks away, then refuses to get back together because he’s insecure. To be fair, I do absolutely understand his position here, I just don’t like how he left Midge in limbo about it. (She mentions that he won’t return her calls). Yet, he still tries to tell her where to live because he’s controlling.

Now, I like him considerably better in seasons 3 and 4. His Catskills characterization is actually really great. His support of Midge in court is actually really nice, and I like that he comes to her defense with the panty pose picture. His support of her career is actually really great and his relationship with Mei is really interesting and does a lot to make me like him.

Then we get to the Vegas episode. They wake up together and he feels guilty because of his relationship with Mei. To be fair, I don’t think that this is cheating because it’s clear they haven’t had the exclusivity discussion. I also understand why he is frustrated with the situation, however none of that is any excuse for how he treats Midge. Midge is joking about the situation, since there’s obviously nothing they can do about it now. He tries to slut shame her for “entertaining herself on the road”. Now, Midge isn’t doing that, but even if she was, that is her business. And he is no position to judge promiscuity after having flings with all of the factory models in season 2. Once again, the double standards are absolutely ridiculous.

I do wish he had told Midge about the money situation with Susie, and I blame both of their characters for keeping this serious issue hidden.

In season Season 4, I like him. I like that he wants to support Mei. This is really when I started to engage with Joel. He has great moments in season 2&3, but Season 4 has them on display more often.

Then…we get season 5. He blames Midge for Mei leaving and ending the pregnancy, something that I already analyzed earlier. He acts like he deserves a medal for being concerned that Midge is owned by the mob. He’s trading pictures of his ex-wife (specifically revealing ones where she looks younger. Ew). But the thing that bothers me most, is the set that he does at the beginning of 5.2.

He degrades her onstage, mocking her for not spending enough time on his jockey shorts. She was busy raising your children and cooking your brisket asshole. The worst part is, he does it for revenge. He says “turnabout is fair play”. Midge never talked about him for revenge. She did it because she was sad and embarrassed and needed a way to vent, because there’s not a whole lot of people in Midge’s life that actually listen to her.

All that said, I think Joel is really interesting. Michael Zegen does a great job portraying Joel with complexity and humanity, and people who send him hate mail are…rude to say the least.

However, the reason I hate Joel from a narrative standpoint, is because Midge is never able to truly get over him. He is not good for Midge, and deep down, he’s a selfish, spoiled brat who is only happy when everything is perfect for him.

Yes I’m a huge MidgexLenny fan, but I knew that wasn’t going to work. I wanted to see Midge happy yes, but not in such a reductive way. I wanted to see her stop her dependence on Joel, see her independent and thriving. That’s why Joel’s double standards bother me. He doesn’t want to be with her, but he also doesn’t want her to move on. He can move on, but she can’t.

Secondly, I hate what they did with Susie.

The gambling thing resurfacing made no sense to me. It was never even implied that she started gambling again after she lost all of Midge’s money in season 3.

I hate the fact that she went to Joel she never told Midge about it.

I hate the way she wasn’t the one to get Midge out from the mob and never told Midge about the situation. I don’t like the direction they went in with Nicky and Frank. I liked it better when they were actually supportive of another Rockaways kid. I’m not saying that they couldn’t have asked to get a taste, but they could’ve done it another way.

I hate that Susie couldn’t get through to Midge in season 4. Susie from seasons 1-2 would never have let Midge tank her career like this.

Once again, Alex Borstein is phenomenal as the character. My issues come from how the characters are being written.

I have a lot of issues with Midge in seasons 4-5. Like a lot of people, I am disappointed with the current trajectory of the show.

However, when I share my thoughts, whether they’re positive or negative, I am doing so because I have opinions that I want to share. I am not trying to diminish anyone else’s enjoyment, but rather engage critically with media I care about.

Season 5 Episode 6 spoilers below:

Gotta love how Joel went behind Midge’s back to solve the problem with the mobsters. He could’ve shown her the book or went back to her to raise his concerns again now that he had tangible proof. But no. It’s Joel, so he has to lie and go behind her back about stuff that pertains to her own life. This man has learned absolutely nothing.

Also hate that he’s trading pictures of her in prison. He specifically asks for the panty pose picture which is so gross. He got mad at someone for having it in S3 but whatever.

I almost rage-quit when Midge said she was still in love with Joel. I still hate her romance plots this season. Gordon is gross. The stalker guy is gross. Joel still sucks. The guy literally blamed Midge for Mei leaving and ending the pregnancy. Yeah Midge was probably still a little jealous since Joel was such a huge part of her life, but there’s a lot of concern for her children driving it as well. “I don’t want them calling you mom.” Is a line that especially has a lot of insecurity behind it.

I guess the rest of the episode was okay. Unsurprisingly, Alex Borstein was great, but I am totally on Midge’s side in regards to her fight with Susie. Susie should’ve told Midge the truth.

I almost cried at the ending.

I miss Lenny. But that’s why we have fanfic.

Also, I know it was a joke, but Midge says she and Susie had sex in Pensacola and refers to their fight as a “break-up”…so…I want to see that story.

Okay. Time for a hot take.

I’m hate, hate, hate all of the “Midge Maisel is a bad mother” thing being pushed by the fandom and the show.

First of all, plenty of people work nights/ travel a lot/ have jobs in entertainment and spend a lot of time away from their kids. This does not necessarily make them bad parents, just busy ones.

Second of all, this kind of hands-off parenting seems to be normal for the time. We see this a lot in the season 2 Catskills episodes, where various adults simply hand off their children. Later that season, Rose even comments that the children would be confused if she ate with them. And yes, she is instilling unhealthy beauty standards in Esther, but she clearly inherited them in turn from Rose.

Third of all, Midge is seen actively parenting her children to the best of her ability (outside of the stupid flash forwards). Yes Ethan in particular seems to have behavioral issues, but Midge seems unsure of how to handle it. Behavioral therapy is difficult to access today, let alone in the late 50s.

Examples:

- One of the first things she mentions when Joel is leaving her is that they have children. She repeatedly mentions that she wants the separation to be stress free for the children. She wants them to see Joel in a safe environment.

- She repeatedly worries about how her children will be affected by her career choices.

- She’s seemingly the one who takes them to all of their doctors appointments.

- She attempts to find help from Imogene and Dr. Spock when she is unsure, but her resources are extremely limited and don’t help her.

- She mentions specifically wanting to bring Ethan to the record store because she knows he would like it.

- She offers to get Ethan piano lessons when he seems interested.

- She is depicted several times reading to her children at night.

- She planned Ethan’s birthday.

- She is rightfully concerned when Joel is planning to leave for a long time for work on the West Coast, and never see the kids.

- When Abe calls her home in a panic in 2x1, her first thought is the children.

- She’s the one encouraging Esther’s first words.

- She’s the one toilet training Esther.

- She’s open to getting Ethan therapy despite the stigma when he can’t sleep. Joel, naturally, is opposed.

Finally, it is pretty explicitly stated that Midge feels insecure about being a mother during her set at the Vanguard. She explicitly asks if she perhaps “chose the wrong profession” but is now stuck in something she’s not good at. She brushes it off as saying, “women are supposed to be mothers”. She was clearly socialized into being a mother, with her own mother ingraining the necessity of “three before thirty”. Imogene also pushes her to have another baby with Benjamin and Astrid comments during a discussion about her infertility that Midge “did everything right”. It’s implied that if Midge had discovered her career path earlier…she may not have even become a mother.

Midge is not perfect (especially in season 4, where even I- a huge Midge apologist- doesn’t like her), but I don’t think it’s fair to say that Midge was a terrible mother and therefore deserves all of her misfortune.

So, there’s my rant about how Midge, like any parent, did her best as a mother while trying to grow personally, and I’m sick of her being demonized for not being perfect.

Ncuti Gatwa has my favorite Doctor intro. No sadness of a fan favorite departing hanging over him.

There’s something new, something other than the Doctor being sick or erratic. (It worked for especially well for Ten because of the story and because it gives his eventual reveal so much weight, and it gives him 15 minutes uninterrupted to showcase the full-range of his character), but that doesn’t have to be the formula forever.

This time we get so much time with a genuinely kind, energetic, supportive Doctor who said, “it’s okay to take a break. And while you do that, get the one thing you never let yourself have, I’m going to go be amazing. He straight up says “sit down, I’ve got this”

For the first time since I originally watched Born Again, I felt like I made a friend.

I don’t want this incarnation to actually be some weird limbo version of the Doctor that’s going to eventually regenerate into 15, because that means you’re taking away the beautiful, wonderful positivity and kindness that Fifteen innately possesses. Gatwa’s doctor is just an incarnation that is born ready to finally let go of angst and sadness that has defined the last two decades of the show.

Someone he loves (his past self) is going to take care of themselves and heal, and that’s what makes him okay. He’s not ‘fixing’ anyone, he’s not ONLY there to help. He wants to head back out into the stars immediately (well, evidently the club) and he does. As he should.

Fifteen is absolutely the Doctor. The Doctor who is kind and beautiful and fun from the word go. I can’t wait to watch his adventures.

Fourteen, for me, will forever be the Doctor in a garden telling stories and basking in the love of his family that he always wanted and finally has and can sneak his family off for low-stakes, but no less magical adventures. No future regenerations, no merging with Fifteen later down the line, no becoming the Valeyard.

If that’s not what the intent was…honestly I don’t care. If that’s what is revealed later… honestly I will probably ignore it.

Fourteen is explicitly told to just sit down for awhile, so I don’t feel like he’s hanging over 15. But if David comes back, I’ll still be in for a phenomenal performance of a wonderful incarnation of a character I adore, by an extremely talented actor who loves the show as much as any fan because he is one, and one who is getting the chance to continually fulfill his greatest childhood dream.

The specials are not perfect, but I can connect with them in a way I haven’t been able to connect to the show in a long time. There was a real focus on character again, something I personally enjoy in storytelling.

If that isn’t what you like, that’s fine. My opinions are just that, and by definition can’t be right or wrong.

Doctor Who is science FICTION. It is an endless web of retcons and contradictory lore. It is a show where an alien ship that fits an entire dimension inside of it, that can travel anywhere in all of time and space, looks like a police box and requires a key.

Sometimes I don’t need it to make perfect sense. Sometimes I just want to watch a character I love get something nice after being saved emotionally by his awesome queerplatonic bestie and his happy, supportive mitosis brother!

Sometimes the real world is hard, and I just want a happy ending in my escapism.