A Gentle Reminder

A Gentle Reminder

I just got through the month from hell. 

In my type of work, I have to deal with managing “teams” of people who often don’t understand the meaning of the word. Usually it works. This month, it didn’t. The failure of the entire project was spectacular… I’m talking down in flames. Six weeks of working until midnight.. working incredibly hard… down the drain because of people I could not control refusing to meet their deadlines.

I broke down completely. I felt defeated… miserable… like a failure.

Sir knows how I am. How I internalize things like this… convinced I could have done SOMETHING to fix it. Something to save it. That it was all my fault and I am a failure.

Before I met Sir I used to hurt myself when the anger and frustration and pain would become too much. I would gouge trails in my thighs with my fingernails. I would get perverse pleasure out of seeing the tiny trails of blood criss-crossing across my flesh. It was the only way to let the pain that was festering inside of me bubble over to the outside. I turned my anger at myself instead of letting it out into the world. It was self destructive and raw and just awful. 

During the course of our relationship he has reprogrammed me to deal with my inner turmoil constructively, with love and forgiveness, and instead to play with pain in happy contexts. I have grown to love pain… I love the silence and euphoria it brings to me when we play. After three years it has become a toy instead of a crutch. He gave me power over pain, instead of letting pain have power over me. He turned it into something constructive instead of destructive, something we control together, for my pleasure, not the desperate way I used it before.

Today I asked Sir for a spank… a stress relieving spank. Sir will usually indulge me when I ask for something… I’m kind of spoiled. I’m a very obedient sub to him… and extremely loyal… so he is quite indulgent and sweet and pampers me. I was fully expecting to have some flogger time to bring myself a little relief after such a horrible month.

And he said no. That maybe I could tomorrow… but not today.

I was taken by surprise… like I said, I’m pretty spoiled. Of course I accepted it, thinking maybe it was a lesson about not taking his indulgence for granted. I took it that way, and told him so, and thanked him.

But then he corrected me. He told me that he did not want to see me forming a connection between stress and pain.

A gentle reminder.

Maybe it seems silly. Maybe it seems small. But the fact that after all this time he is still thinking that way… protecting me from myself… it meant so much to me. Therapy spankings are not good for me… they send me back down the road to equating pain with negative emotions instead of positive ones. Perhaps I had forgotten after this long… but he had not. 

This time when I thanked him it was far deeper and more emotional. Even now… after three years… with busy lives and growing and changing and becoming the hybrid that I seem to have become… he never forgets where I started. And he protects me from going backwards.

I love him so very much for that. 

More Posts from The-hot-in-psychotic and Others

6 years ago

Why is grinding on things so hot

You got the degrading part, the voyeurism part, the denial part because it’s almost impossible to actually cum from it, you can do it desperately or you can do it like you’re showing off, like a dance, you can be forced to do it while the other person is just chillin and not paying any attention to u while u sit there and writhe and moan and humiliate urself on a pillow, part of the house, someone’s leg, anything

3 years ago

I can think of someone id like to do this to me

Put your hand down my panties and touch me mid conversation, not stopping or acknowledging what you're doing to me. Top it off by making condescending remarks about how distracted I seem

2 years ago

7 minutes in heaven except it’s just me tied up in the closet and everyone gets to take their turn using me for seven minutes

He's so fine, he deserves a girlfriend and a wife

3 years ago

Cockwarming your dom while he plays a video game with his friends, everytime he thrusts up into you his friends hear your squeaky choked moan through the mic and they all compliment how slutty and cute you sound being so nonchalantly used by your dom

5 years ago

i would love this

Cage

When we stepped through the door he reached for the collar he always kept in the hallway sideboard. This was why I loved staying at his apartment. It was like entering a portal to a completely different world.⁣⁣

He slid the collar around my neck and I smiled. We kissed and I heard the chain rattle in the drawer. ⁣⁣

"That looks so pretty with your fancy dress," he said. "I need to get you one to wear out."⁣⁣

"I'd love it."⁣⁣

He attached the leash and I slid down to my knees. So natural. I couldn't help it.⁣⁣

"You like that, don't you, baby?"⁣⁣

"So relaxing," I sighed. He tugged on the leash and I resisted slightly. It was so dark and peaceful in the hallway.⁣⁣

"No playing tonight," he said calmly. "I'm taking you to your present. Close your eyes."⁣⁣

I nodded and began crawling next to him to the living room, picking my way cautiously across the carpet until he stopped.⁣⁣

"Now open your eyes."⁣⁣

Both my eyes and mouth fell open. It was a large cage with big square mesh, a door, laced with twinkling lights and fluffy blankets inside.⁣⁣

"Sir. Are you...serious?"⁣⁣

"I know you've been wanting one. So I made it all nice, put foam on the floor so it's soft, and you can go in whenever you want. A nest for my kitten."⁣⁣

I started to cry. It was too much.⁣⁣

"Go in, baby. Try it out."⁣⁣

I crept in. It was the perfect size. Long enough to lay down and scrunch in the blankets. He knelt and showed me the latch.⁣⁣

"This will never lock, just latch. You can go in when you are stressed and need to calm down. Or when I'm not home. And if you close this door it will be a signal to leave you alone for a bit."⁣⁣

"But you can see me."⁣⁣

"Of course. But this is your safe space."⁣⁣

I knelt and looked through the mesh at him. So close, yet so far.⁣⁣

"I love it, Sir. But there's not enough room for us both in here."⁣⁣

"It's your nest, baby. But we can still play." He rubbed his groin and all my focus narrowed. "Do you want to try it out?"⁣⁣

I nodded wordlessly. He unzipped, then pulled out and stroked inches from my face.⁣⁣

"Open," he said, gently. The mesh squares were very large. Plenty of room for him to thrust forward and dip into my mouth again and again as I fed on him hungrily in my new cage.⁣⁣

6 years ago
For Your Pleasure Master, A Nice Ass Up In The Air, From A Sexy Bitch!

for your pleasure Master, a nice ass up in the air, from a sexy bitch!

2 years ago

wouldn't you like to just lounge around in lingerie and be a pretty little thing for me? your entire purpose would be to look nice, your only worry would be how i choose to fuck you. you'd like that, wouldn't you baby?

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the-hot-in-psychotic - Sir's Slut, Daddy's Princess and Baby's Queen
Sir's Slut, Daddy's Princess and Baby's Queen

NSFW 18+ Do NOT follow if you are a minor. This is purely a kink blog. I am a submissive, little and domme. Taken by my one and only 🖤 I post what turns me on and may or may not share my fantasies on here.... Enjoy.

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