Shoutout To Characters That Are Both Genuinely Deeply Kind And Also Genuinely Terrifying And Willing

what is the world without hope. one day I will be un-banned.

I really want to read some fanfics with nhs as the villain, but the thing is that finding them is actually very difficult. because usually "dark!nhs" tag means that he will be like cruel but magnificent and gloriously evil and doing some evil but sexy things. and I don't want that I want him as the cowardly sleazy bastard he is and for the story to make fun of him.

I read a x*ch*ng fanfic long ago which had the exact type of him (plotting his evil plot and then immediately pathetically crying in the next scene) so I suppose I must search somewhere in the w*ngx**n or x*ch*ng centric fanfics but oh. just how many of them I will need to look through before I find something?

same with jgy. where's all these cringe fanfics making him into some cringe evil villain that his stans always complain about? I may (?) count as his stan but still. I want this I want cringe.

honestly I'm still sad about the previous blog. all the history, my silly long ass tags and bad jokes in the rebloges, all the dms and comments which have been deleted😭 this new place still feels hollow and not very comfortable. and I'm still VERY scared expecting a new shadowban every moment.

I sent a new letter to support about my previous blog, they keep replying with the default message asking to "send a permalink of the post I'm reporting" and I'm not sure how to reply to that. I'm not reporting a single post, the problem is with my blog! No matter what I answer they don't do anything anyway so I don't have hope this time either.

Jin Guangyao Nie Mingjue hate sex

the secret to life is always having something to look forward to

I think that's because I interacted too much with the one blog. Like stayed scrolling it and liking posts/sending them to drafts or something. because literally 5 minutes ago I could comment and then I couldn't and the dms are off and my reblogs aren't in the notes again??

DID IT FUCKING HAPPEN AGAIN?????

I DID IT

I REALLY DID IT

Now I should be really careful to not to do something that will make me look like a bot and be shadowbanned again.... I guess new blogs shouldn't like/post/reblog/subscribe too much in their first days of existence?

how do I be interested in people without being obsessive. like I want you to tell me your thoughts why you like this ship why you draw this character like this what are your opinions on that fan fiction or on this headcanon. but if I just go to ppl and ask them directly I will look weird af.