I Can't Be The Only One Who Drinks Then Ends Up In The Nude. I'm So Glad I Live By Myself.
I can't be the only one who drinks then ends up in the nude. I'm so glad I live by myself.
More Posts from Thatonepupkai and Others
not the orange man please lads
✦MORE INCORRECT C.o.D QUOTES✦
König: Hell, you could pour soup into my lap and I’ll probably apologize to you- --
Soap: What’s your life motto? Y/N: Hmmm, less a motto, more a general idea. But I run through life with four things in mind. Y/N: Fuck shit up, get shit done, get some glory, and hope for good dick in between. Gaz: *spit take* Soap: *WHEEZE* Ghost: …pretty good motto. Y/N: Thank you!
--
Graves: What are you doing? Y/N, losing their shit: *looking at the sky* Maybe, if I stand here long enough, a FUCK will fall from the SKY and then, I can give it to you. But oh, hey, look, THE SKY AIN’T GIVIN’ NOTHIN! Graves: I- Y/N: NO FUCKS, ANYWHERE, TO GIVE
-- Soap after being insulted by Ghost: ‘do sorta like it when he’s rude to me…hopefully that’s more a psychological defect than a weird sexual thing.
-- Some dickhead: And what's your job? 141 Whore? Y/N: Oh I fuckin' wish. Do you know how much easier of a job that'd be? No field drills, no paperwork, just be a dick receptacle. A fuckin' dream, that'd be. Price: *dissapointed sigh* Soap & Gaz: *WHEEZE* Ghost: *he's not laughing but he kinda wants to*
-- Ghost: Pretty cool, huh, Johnny? *looks and sees Graves beside him* Oh- Graves: Uh, I thought it was pretty cool. Ghost: I don't give a fuck 'bout what you think, Philip.(derogatory)
--
(TW; Unalive mention; but it's in a Gen Z joke way) Someone: Okay uh, what if 141 just...disappeared. Like your team just vanished. What would you do? Y/N, instantly: Oh I'd just *gun to temple hand signal* Easy. Quick decision. Price: Soldier, no- Y/N: Don't die and we won't have a problem. Think of it as more reason to stay alive. All of you. *Points at Ghost* You, specifically, sir. 'm watchin' you. Ghost: ...noted.
--
Ghost, suffering from blood loss: Johnny...you have beautiful eyes Soap: Damnit where's that evAC HE'S LOST HIS MIND
--
Soap: How d'ya feel 'bout gay people? Male!Y/N: ...I am gay- Gaz: He's dodging the question. Soap: HOMOPHOBIC! Male!Y/N: DON'T SHOUT THAT WHAT THE FU-
--
(I saw DILF!Reader headcanons and made an OC from it, I really like DILF/MILF Readers, we need more of them) Ghost: Daddy issues? Psh, I don't have those. Dilf!Y/N: *pats him on the back while passing by* Good job out there, Simon. Ghost, ready to cry whilst also having a boner: God damnit-
--
(In the idea of Y/N being a complete badass on field, maybe even a lil sadistic) Gaz: Hey, before getting into the military, what did you wanna do with your life? Y/N, cleaning dishes: Oh, I wanted to be a homemaker! Soap: ...huh? Y/N: Yeah! Little house, keepin' it clean, cookin' all day. An apron. The whole thing. Alas, God doesn't hand out opportunities for dreams, I was dealt a different hand in life's game of poker, and I had to make it work. So! Here I am. Gaz, remembering the time he watched them decapitate a man: ...a homemaker...right.
--
Y/N: I'm just sayin', one hug from Captain would probably be the equivalent of six years in therapy. Gaz: So...ask for a hug then? Y/N: AHA! No, no I won't do that. That's asking for problems. (Insert situation where Y/N gets said hug) Price: ...are you crying? Y/N: This! This is the problems I mentioned! Gaz: No, no I think this is proof you shoulda asked sooner.
--
Ghost: I don't have favorites. Gaz: You made Soap a lunch. Ghost: And? Y/N: You cut the sandwich in the shape of a cat...and the fruit is cut into stars & hearts. Ghost: Soldiers need balanced meals.
--
Y/N: Yeesh...Why did god have to give Cap such a tiny grabbable waist...seems unfair. Gaz: *chokes on water* Soap: *wheeze cackle* Price: ...pardon? Y/N: Oh shit, did I say that out loud? My bad, G.
--
Graves: Are you supposed to be eye fucking your captain all the time? Y/N: Hey! I don't eye fuck my captain all the time. Graves: You- Y/N: I eye fuck all my teammates, equal opportunity eye fucking, I don't have favorites on my team. Soap & Gaz: *stifling laughter* Price: Can- *sigh* Can we please focus on the mission now?
--
Graves: Were you dropped as a child? Y/N: Bold of you to assume I was held. Price: Soldier- Soap: Oh, no that's- Gaz: *wince* Ghost: ...heh. Y/N: *points* Ahaaaa, he gets it!
My ✨sparkle✨ is here!!!! I don’t like it…. 😂😂😂😂🤪🤪🤪🤪
Soap, crying in a ball:
Price:"is he good?"
Ghost:"he just found out that roach can hear"
Ghost:"...and he was talking out loud about having a crush on him"
Soap, sobbing: "I THOUGHT HE WAS BODHAR!"
How I wanna chew on him.🥰🥰
@chamomiletealeaf babe, Here’s a lovely picture for you!!!🥰🥺
if I found him like this I'd get a little nasty 😛
I feel the mania setting in today.🙃🙃🙃
well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
Reblog if you're not homophobic
Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad.
His Favourite
Warnings: 18+, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Oral Sex, Power Imbalance, Abuse of Authority, Gaslighting, Name-Calling, No Pronouns used for Reader except 'You'.
You’re Ghost’s favourite recruit, though you’d never know it from the way he constantly berates you, his harsh accent splitting you apart from the rest of your peers as he picks you up on the most minor of mistakes.
Don’t get it twisted, he’d do the same to any other recruit, he just seems to enjoy knocking some discipline into you. As he’s doing right now in the privacy of a vacant store cupboard, pants pulled down to his thighs with you sat between them, taking his twitching, aching cock between your waiting lips.
“Just a pretty little people pleaser, aren’t’ya,” he says, one hand on the back of your head while the other grips your shoulder, keeping you from going anywhere. “Do anythin’ for your Lieutenant,”
It’s not a question. Your position now just proves that everything he's saying is nothing short of the truth. You’ve learnt how he likes it, how he gasps ever so slightly whenever you press the tip of your tongue into that one sensitive patch beside his most prominent vein, just two inches from his engorged ballsack.
His breath is short as you bob up and down his shaft, forced to take more of him as he pushes your head further down onto him and himself deeper into you. You hum, either in defence or enthusiastic agreement – it doesn’t matter to Ghost. Especially when you’re being so obedient, taking him inch by inch, his tip hitting the back of your throat, the tightness in his balls growing.
Despite how often he takes to disciplining you, it never seems enough. Within a day, he’s ready to shoot as much cum down your throat as you can take, and then some. That, or he’s herding you into a dark corner of the Base and pounding you senseless, calling you his fuck bunny, his personal cum rag, his favourite.
"Bet you wanted to join the military just to have men shout at you," he tells you, hands tight about your waist as he pushes himself all the way in, pulls halfway out, and repeats. He hardly breaks a sweat, years of abuse and hardship having shaped him into the image of Zeus; insatiable and unfettered.
"Bet y'enjoy makin' me angry, knowin- fuck-" – he feels himself twitch; he's close –knowin' that m'gonna fuck y'into shape."
He tells you how much you need this, need someone to teach you the difference between right and wrong, to teach you how to be worthy, to please him. He knows nothing will happen if he gets caught. Nothing substantial, at least. But you don’t know that, hence he lets you feel as if he’s entrusting you with a secret whenever he leads you into a dark room, your task already outlined just as his dick is in his pants. And you can only shut up and take it, trying your absolute hardest not to come undone in Ghost’s calloused hands, trying to show your superior that you’re able to take him – all of him – without unravelling at the seams.
He always proves you wrong but that’s wherein the fun lies; getting to watch you squirm as he fills you from the inside only to make you run laps with the rest of your fellow recruits knowing that the limp in your gait is his doing, that you’re trying your best to keep up with the others whilst also trying to keep Ghost’s seed from leaking out of you.
Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously and it is greatly appreciated :-)
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