I Must Make The Kalteshulter.

👀 signal boosting his blog over here… If there’s any interest in talking to mr. Calhoun?

Of course, now everyone’s sending me emails about not being able to properly… Email… How does that even work?!

I can’t answer their questions and they shouldn’t even be able to to send em in! What kinda weird unfair bull—what kinda weird unfair shenanigans are going on?

How would medic react if i'd steal his bonesaw? Just wanna know because of several reasons-

He’d laugh it off, probably. Just make sure to keep one eye open next time you visit, especially if you plan on sleeping... He has plenty of bonesaws to spare. I mean, why have one when you have the possibility of losing it! Multiple is always the better option, right?

Anyways, enjoy the new organs sewn into you anon!

How would Sniper react to seeing the new (female) who nobody really had any hope for surrounded by the enemy, crying her eyes out and begging for mercy, then suddenly this big-ass honey badger runs up, doing the chitter-scream, and starts kicking ass?

Sniper, if he were drinking coffee while watching through the scope, ready to kill whoever is terrorizing the new mercenary, would immediately spit it out and grab a camera.

If he doesn’t have either, he’ll be cheering from the sidelines and making sure the honey badger doesn’t get itself hurt. He knows how vicious honey badgers can be, so he’s not entirely worried since the rest of the mercs are already yelling and screaming in terror. 

I’d suggest you read the tags from the op of this one!

This dynamic is honestly a favorite of mine as well. Especially when you take into account that Heavy is… Naturally quiet? He can be loud, but I think that silent trust is what really shows their bond the clearest. If they trust each other that deeply, then I don’t think they’d be too nervous about being together.

Of course, I also love the other dynamics, though. Honestly? Heavymedic is just an A++ ship all around.

my favorite heavymedic dynamic is them just like… falling into place next to each other. nothing dramatic or emotional or anything, there’s no clear starting point where something changes in their relationship from Friends to Dating. like everything between them goes unsaid but it’s also undeniably strong. nobody asks questions about it. it’s just heavy and medic, and medic and heavy, and that’s how it is and how it is meant to be. guys bein dudes

I headcanon that Demo fucking LOVES Halloween and it’s the only time he really pulls out all the stops and gets reeeeeally theatric. So lemme jot down a few hcs :]

He has a list of costume ideas he wants to do in the future

He puts a lotta time and effort into his costumes for sure

He really does love theatrics he just doesn’t get into it much and uses Halloween as an excuse (even though he doesn’t need one)

I think he uses magic because that fucking rules and the whole thing about him hating magic is staged because he just wants to be able to give a reason to hate Merasmus other than the fact that he was mean to Soldier

He uses magic to make his and everyone else’s costumes more realistic

I think he also used a little magic to put on a good show for the rest of the mercs once and scared them all half to death. Maybe even all the way to death for some of them

He is no longer allowed to do that

They tell the BEST scary stories and have the added real lore from their experiences with the paranormal

He helps everyone with their costumes whenever he can because he really does enjoy it a lot

He has been directly responsible for at least one of the Halloween events the team’s dealt with and is not really sorry because it’s really fun to him

YOU. Make that TF2 OC you’ve been thinking about. Share them. Be sexy

Hmmm, OH, how about heavy with an s/o who’s also Russian, and can’t speak English very well?

Source: Unknown. Could be Tf2gallery?

Heavy with a Russian S/O who is not fluent in English:

- Absolutely adorable together, while he doesn’t prefer his mother land of Russia, having his S/O be from there is incredibly comforting for him. It reminds him of his mother and sisters, and is like bringing a piece of home back with him.

- On the other hand. The language barrier can get a bit annoying at times with the other mercs, as his S/O is easily overwhelmed by their questions and comments, especially if they get frustrated when trying to respond, but not knowing the words to do so.

- They constantly fire off back and forth between each other when in private, though! If one stumbles across or into Heavy’s little “library” area, (a repurposed side room meant for housing tapes that have since been burned, the shelves are lined with books that he’s collected over the years), they’ll often find Heavy and his S/O deep in philosophical conversation with each other, far swifter in Russian than in English.

- Medic, Heavy, and Spy all do their best to help teach them English, to varying degrees of success. Spy is incredibly helpful, but isn’t around enough to make a huge difference. On the other hand, Medic isn’t quite as helpful, but is a better teacher and is more than enthusiastic to help where he can. He’s often too caught up in his experiments to be there as often as Heavy, though; although his S/O is perfectly fine with being in the med bay, so long as things don’t get too hectic.

- Heavy and his S/O are virtually inseparable, though. Heavy is either glued to their side, or they’re glued to his at all times. If they’re separated on their own terms, it’s for a very good reason. If not, and you’re the reason behind it, then you’d better run. They’ll find their way back to each other no matter what cost.

happy sniper sunday

hello popular tf2 fanfic author. in front of you is an idea for an ensamble fic. your challenge is to write demoman like an actual person and not a one dimensional stereotype. if you make being drunk and having one eye his entire personality , i will detonate the sticky trap laid below you you.