Starter Headcanons!

ONLY REAL AMERICANS CAN ROCKET JUMP SAFELY, SO I’LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT FOR YOU, FRENCHFRY!

Day two of my first dose of the vaccine baby!!! Arm is sore but so far I don’t feel too awful... Heads up though, if I can’t do much I might see about posting some headcanons, or finishing some in drafts..?

If I can’t find inspiration from the ones I have I’d maybe be curious to see more prompts..? 👀

I know I have a lot already I just like to have a lot of options when hopping between them-

HEADS UP

Might mess with tumblr codes and stuff. Expect my page to be broken or ugly for a while, maybe ever a day or more if I’m lazy! Tryna figure out how this place differs from toyhouse with css and html coding. 

Love ya’ll, stay safe, drink water, and I’ll see you in the next post!

Aayyyyyyy

I want to ask number 16, 36, and 41 OwO

( Oh man, we've got a lot of questions so far! Feel free to keep sending them in, I'm super excited to be answering these! :D Thank you so much, everyone! )

16. What food do they absolutely hate?

Hmm, probably anything that should be seasoned- but isn't. Bland foods, pretty much. That, and anything overly chewy.

36. Do they trust easily? What would you have to do to earn their trust?

She used to trust rather easily, but after what happened with the old company, Edith is a bit more on the cautious side. To earn her trust, all you have to do is be open with her, keep doors open when talking to her, etc. In general, just stay nonthreatening and lighthearted.

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween?

Hard question, but she'd probably dress up as a wizard/witch! Flowy capes and fun hats/cloaks are right up her alley.

another post about tf2 scammers

about a week ago i made a post about what types of tf2 specific scams are floating around steam, how to avoid them, and how to identify a scammer. a scammer literally just added me and to a newer player/steam user, their profile could come across as legit so i'd like to go through it and pick apart some of the red flags i look for when people like this add me on steam. hopefully it'll help some people lol idk

this is the profile of the person that added me. it seems normal enough at first, they have a decent steam level and their profile is personalized with artwork and a background. they've also written a bit about their hobbies and favorite tf2 maps in their description. initially, i thought this person knew me from tf2's steam forum and added me from there, but i did some snooping around just to be safe.

here is their full description. i know this might seem pretty normal, but for me personally descriptions like this are a red flag in my mind. the first part would be fine if they had any workshop submissions or had posted their work anywhere, but they haven't so it looks more like they just added some random hobbies specific to tf2 to make them look more legit. i've also never seen anybody list their favorite maps on their profile and in combination with everything else it just seems like they're trying to come across as more knowledgeable about the game than they actually are. this isn't enough to get me to block or report somebody immediately, but it does make me raise an eyebrow at least.

next, i scroll down and i see what games they play/own. 7k hours in tf2 is mighty impressive, but there's another red flag here: these are the only games this person owns and has played, and they're both free to play. for someone who has been on steam since 2015 at the very least, you'd think they'd play more than just tf2 and csgo.

another red flag is their friends list: there's only 8 people here. again, if they've been playing tf2 since 2015 as they claim, it means they'd have been on steam since then as well and most people would have a lot of people added in that time. (i've been on steam since 2014 and have 342 people added.) i know some people only like to add close friends or people they trust, but if this person added me out of nowhere and i've never spoken to them prior.

with all this in mind their profile is extremely suspicious, so at this point i've got a good hunch that they're a scammer. let's dig a bit deeper.

private inventories are another red flag as i mentioned in my previous post about scams. you can see the trade history of some items using websites like backpack.tf, and because of this a lot of scammers will keep their inventories private to prevent people from seeing if their items were stolen from someone else. it also prevents you from seeing what they have if they're chatting to you about trading.

this is an absolute dead giveaway. despite having 7k hours in tf2, they have absolutely no playtime on any of the classes. not only that, but every single one of their achievements were unlocked on the exact same day at the exact same time, which is impossible to do unless you're using an external program. it seems like this person used the program to unlock some achievements, then idled on the menu to inflate their hours on their profile. this is also why a lot of scammers won't have their stats visible; it's to prevent you from seeing if they actually play the game or not.

so yeah after seeing all this, i was 100% sure this was a scammer. here's them proving me right by doing the "we need you to play on/vote for our team there's money involved and we'll give you items" scam.

when i'm talking to a scammer i like to pretend to be engaged in order to keep them engaged as well and waste their time a bit, and because of this there's another red flag to add to the heaps of them this guy already has: why would you add a heavy/sniper main and ask them to play soldier or scout, especially when soldier is their least played class? surely someone who is looking for teammates for a tournament where money is involved would also check the stats of the people they're supposed to be playing with.

i sent them a couple more messages and they unfriended me shortly after. i've since blocked + reported them for scamming/phishing.

hello popular tf2 fanfic author. in front of you is an idea for an ensamble fic. your challenge is to write demoman like an actual person and not a one dimensional stereotype. if you make being drunk and having one eye his entire personality , i will detonate the sticky trap laid below you you.

PRIDE WEEK DAY 1!

@dontneedadispenser​’s pride week has begun! Unfortunately, this took a bit, but I’m not late yet, haha. Edith and Pauling are here to kick off day #1 with the theme of flags!

Hello! So I have this OC i ship with Sniper, and I was wondering if you could write prompts for Scout or any of the other team members trying to get Sniper and a reader in general together. Thanks, and love your prompts!

Sure can do, and thanks so much! The compliments mean a lot to me :•) lol this idea was fun to work with, I wrote a lot more than I thought I would! I hope it’s not too rambly lol

Scout and the mercs being Sniper’s wingmen

No TWs

Scout and Sniper’s friendship is actually stronger than one might think, considering it all started because Scout refused to stop pestering the Aussie. Eventually Sniper got used to it, and Scout basically adopted him as his introverted friend. They don’t always hang out but they’re definitely close!

The Bostonian is not always the most observant, so he doesn’t exactly catch on to the tension between Sniper and you until he’s questioning why the Aussie’s been ditching him to hang with you.

“What, you got like a crush on ‘em or somethin’?”

“…”

“… wait, no way— actually?? You have a crush?? On them??!”

“Oi, shut your trap, ya damn weasel!”

The furious blush that grows on Mick’s face, and the lack of an outright denial, are enough for Scout to absolutely tease the shit out of him. It’s likely that the entire team will find out about Sniper’s crush on you simply from Scout’s teasing. He likes to make kissy faces mockingly behind your back when the man speaks to you, especially.

The other mercs tease him too, but none are as relentless (or as vulgar) as Scout.

“You know they’re waaayy out of your league, right?”

“…Yeah, I know.”

That’s what ultimately strikes a chord with Scout. He was only joking, but Sniper wasn’t. Mick doesn’t… think very highly of himself to begin with. He’s certainly not boyfriend material in his eyes, and you’re like perfection personified. There’s no way you’d settle for a bloke like him.

Scout hates seeing someone he cares about wallow in self pity like that, and he feels pretty shitty for going too far with his teasing. So, his apology? He’s going to play Sniper’s wingman and get him a hot date (despite Sniper’s protests).

At first, Scout tries to big up Sniper the way he big up himself. He tells you anytime he does well on the field as he’s especially proud of his work. But he also tries to make Sniper seem “cooler” the same way Jeremy tries to make himself seem cooler, which… leads to some slight lying. He gets halfway through his very over dramatized story about Mick winning a bar fight against five dudes the size of Saxton Hale before the Aussie pushes Scout out of the room and apologizes to you for his behaviour. You both get a laugh out of it at least!

Scout tries to recall everything Spy had taught him from Expiration Date, except he’s mostly forgotten half of what he said and Sniper’s certain that the bucket of chicken trick is not going to work on you. Jeremy argues that no, it will because who doesn’t like a bucket of chicken??

But not all of his advice is that bad. He does tell Mick that if you hated him like he thought, then you wouldn’t always be hanging around him or talking to him. And that he’s certainly not as unattractive as he says. That builds his confidence a little, but he’s still grumpy the entire time, slouching in his seat with his arms crossed as Scout explains what to do when your date is at 7pm.

Eventually, because Scout cannot keep a secret to save his life, word gets out that he’s been coaching Sniper on how to ask you out, and the other mercs decide to help. Some out of a genuine desire to help, others simply because the “Sniper has the biggest, sappiest crush on someone” schtick is hilarious and they want to tease him. Sniper is not appreciative all the time.

“You want to impress them? Is not necessary. They like Sniper very much. But my advice? Fight bear for them. Is very attractive trait to have.”

“You want my advice? Take a shower, bushman.”

“Laddie, yer plenty good enough for ‘em. They’re always hanging around ye anyways; what makes ye think they dinnae like ye?”

“Mph mmmhph!!”

“Now slim, you’re overthinkin’ this. I’m sure it’ll all go well. They’re always telling us guys how great a guy you are… if I was any less observant I’d say the feelin’s mutual.”

“The purest form of love is WAR! You must FIGHT to win the object of your affection’s heart! Now get your boney ass out there and show that son of a bitch the most ROMANTIC fist fight America has ever seen, private!!”

“Don’t worry yourself, Herr Sniper; if you fail to win over their figurative heart, you can always have their literal heart! I am not using it at the moment.”

Yeah not everyone’s advice was taken. But strangely, it did make him feel overall more willing to bite the bullet, especially hearing that the feeling’s not unrequited. But he still refuses to use the chicken trick or lovingly fist fight you. He figures he’ll just invite you to his camper for coffee and fess up there. And that he does.

Just know, the entire team will be proudly patting Sniper on the back for scoring a date with you. And Scout will take all the credit for setting up the lovely couple despite being of little help.

YEAAAHHH BABEEEEEEYYY!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FILLING BOTH REQUESTS, I LOVE THESE SO MUCH… I AM GOING TO USE THESE SO MUCH, BUT I HAVE TO PICK ONE FIRST!!!

Meem icons requested by @talk-to-sniper , and @tf2strategist !!! Make sure not to use that E key too much or he'll abandon you /hj

- ᴍᴏᴅ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ

spy tf2 is such a dork you get a domination on an engineer and he just yells ‘did i throw a WRENCH into your plans?’ while laughing his ass off. if you get a tie in comp he makes a pun about already having a tie and not needing another one. He makes a dad joke in the comics. Dork.