The TE Lawrence quote ‘Sacrifice uplifts the redeemer and casts down the bought’ – you mentioned that it might be a clue to how Alec/Ralph’s relationship ended. I wondered what your thoughts are on this? I can never work out if it is that Alec wants to ‘look after Ralph’ or doesn’t want Ralph to ‘look after him’. I mean, a bit of both I’m sure, but I still wonder what it looks like? And also, how was it reading that cliffhanger ending for the first time?
So, my whole idea comes from the fact that Alec and Ralph seem somewhat similar in personality to me. I got the impression that both wanted to take some responsibility; Ralph in literally everything, and Alec in a relationship...about the T.E. Lawrence quote: full disclaimer, I haven’t read the book it's from. I'm probably way off base, but just on its own, the quote to me came across as: complex men understand that sacrifice uplifts the one who partakes in it, and casts down the one for whom it is done. The first redeems the second, but the second will always be beneath the first; he is ‘bought’ (i.e. indebted) and also ‘cast down.’ When it’s mentioned by Alec, I assumed he was referring both to himself and Ralph as being those ‘complex men’ who also 'sacrifice.’ There was also a direct mention of Sandy prior to it being brought up, so I linked the whole thing both to Alec’s relationship (and impression) of Ralph (who he says is ‘complex’ but remains innocent about it), along with his relationship to Sandy (who I assume is the one ‘bought’).
So, the way I read it was: Alec identifies himself as a ‘complex man' who understands the implication of being the one to sacrifice for another person; he identifies Ralph as such a complex man too, but seems annoyed that Ralph doesn't understand that the people for whom he sacrifices are inevitably 'cast down' and 'bought.' He maintains an innocence about things in general and this bothers Alec. Later on, Alec obviously says that Ralph never let him do anything in their relationship, so I made a leap and connected this comment to the quote and came away with a vague idea that in their relationship Ralph probably would’ve been the one who 'sacrificed’ and Alec would’ve been the one who was ‘cast down,’ i.e. Alec was expected to depend on Ralph, who took all responsibility while Alec was never allowed to fulfil any similar role; Ralph never let himself depend on Alec, or let him help in any way. This would’ve been an inherently unequal relationship and I don't think Alec would've liked it (because again, I see him as similar to Ralph in the sense he wants responsibility; he himself also says most of their arguments resulted from Ralph's inability to just let him help or do anything).
Re the cliffhanger: the first time I read it, it did a number on me…I didn’t much understand it, because I was rushing to get through and see what happened with Ralph. When I finally got to the end, and read ‘I should’ve had to come back,’ I was honestly...flabbergasted, I think is the correct word? I didn’t realise that Laurie was lying, so it seemed the sweetest thing in the world. I remember the whole day after I finished the book, I kept thinking about those words and wondering what happened! The last paragraph seemed to indicate a happy ending (I read it like three times over lol), but I hated how abrupt it all was. It wasn't until some time had passed that I actually started to liked the abruptness. Also, it really made me want to read the Phaedrus!
Oh, I forgot about the stream! 😭 I wish I'd taken more notice when I was going back again and tried to compare all the descriptions of them 😭
After I read the scene where Laurie recognises a bit of Andrew in an old photograph of Ralph, I went back to re-read (again) the part where Laurie meets Andrew for the first time because I was absolutely convinced there must be something in how he's described that clues you into Laurie making an unconscious connection to Ralph...only thing I came away with is that Laurie really likes blonds 😭
“THE STRONG SHORE is my beloved And I am his sweetheart. We are at last united by love, and Then the moon draws me from him. I go to him in haste and depart Reluctantly, with many Little farewells.”
people in period clothing doing modern things is my aesthetic
it’s wilfred owen’s 131st birthday today and idk about you but it’s really important to me in particular
Ophelia, 1910, John William Waterhouse
Medium: oil,canvas
I hope Harry and Meghan name their daughter Diana so I can watch the monarchy collapse in real time.
i recently started reading the Well of Loneliness which is one of the books that Mary was responding to in her contemporary novels that include gay characters. i had previously just heard about it as basically this very depressing classic of gay literature that was very controversial, banned in England, etc., but i really had no idea of its literary merit, if it was actually a good book or not! i'm like 3/4 way through and i HAVE to recommend it. it's really compelling and i found it very affecting. it addresses a lot of the themes that appear in the Charioteer about the dilemma of gay life at the time, a lot of the main character's thoughts are quite reminiscent of Laurie's thoughts. i think it's a classic for a reason and worth reading.
I will definitely check this out! If it's reminiscent of Laurie, I'll probably love it! Thank you so much for the recommendation!
Soooo.....The Charioteer? What did you think of it?
I thought it was great! I loved the use of subtext and the non-straightforward way it was written. I know from other Renault books I’ve read that she has a kind of writing style that isn’t always simple or easy, but I don’t ever remember it being this tricky. I had to go back and reread so many scenes in this one but it never bothered me. I thought it was so cool, especially the second chapter!
In terms of the characters, I loved Laurie although I didn't quite understand his relationship with his mother. But I did understand his love for both Ralph and Andrew, because I loved them both too. I think showcasing Andrew’s morals and also his moral-rigidity was an interesting angle and I really saw in him what Laurie did: a sweet young man whose whole life was devoted to notions of love, kindness and sacrifice. I understand why hitting Bunny would’ve driven him to London: he spent his whole life adhering to a very specific code of conduct, which is based on certain principles, and in a moment he betrayed them all. And through that betrayal, he discovered something about himself which drove him further away still... I don’t think Andrew will have a very easy road ahead for the foreseeable future, even if he outlives the war. I’m really happy Laurie gave him the Phaedrus and I can’t get the quote 'even the most exalted paganism is paganism nonetheless’ out of my head. I didn't dislike Dave at all, but now that I think about some of the conversation he had with Laurie and his own history, it makes me more worried about Andrew :( I loved Ralph! — he was someone Laurie could be open with completely, with whom he never had to hide. He was also just generally more suited to him. I remember when Charlot was dying, and Laurie thought ‘Ralph would understand’ after Andrew refuses to impersonate a priest: because he would! Ralph doesn’t see the world like Andrew does, he doesn’t think there is only ever wrong or right and nothing else whatever. He was a soldier, like Laurie and understands necessity. It’s true, he can be a little unkind in some places (like his annoyance with Sandy when he’s hurt himself) and also very snappish, but I think Laurie balances him out well by the end of the book. I think it's easier for him to be more vulnerable and openly kind when he's around Laurie. It was very sweet of him to come to the wedding, simply because Laurie mentioned being uncomfortable at giving his mother away. All in all, I can honestly say I was heartbroken when Laurie rejected Ralph and just as heartbroken when he accepts he will never see Andrew again. The ending made me happy though, and even though I know there’s still some years of the war left and some wrinkles in their dynamic, I envision an ultimate happy ending for Ralph and Laurie.
I'm sorry if this is a lot more than what you were asking for, but I'm so excited about this book and haven't stopped thinking about it! Honestly, I think I need to read it again to better take it in and understand it! There are lots of other elements and themes I want to revisit so I can more clearly get a grasp on their place in the story. But anyway, thanks for the question!
it goes against so much of what i stand for to share "palestinians are humans, they have hobbies, they have pets, they laugh and cry" kind of posts because i've spent so much of my life and career completely rejecting the notion that we should humanize ourselves, that we should ever be defensive, that we should entertain this racism at all
but it breaks my heart when i have to share them from people in gaza, who are using their five minutes of internet connection, their 25% of battery charge collected from a macguyvered car battery, emotionally exhausted, thirsty and hungry, sleeping in schools that have turned into refugee shelters and still making the time to say "please, i am human too, i am still alive, please fight for me" in english to appeal to the only people who have the power to help
i shared a tweet from a jjk artist in gaza i follow about a bts photocard being found in the middle of the rubble. even the love of anime and kpop and sports is no longer just a hobby, but an appeal to humanity. what was once a source of joy is now proof of life.
the worst part is that you won't find this content in arabic. palestinians don't post like this in arabic. but when they translate themselves, they recognize that they must humanize themselves first. it's an unspoken understanding of dehumanization, one that has dictated a whole region's understanding of the value of human life. in arabic they speak with dignity, with anger, with sorrow. in english, they appeal for their existence.
i share these posts not just because we have to reach everyone we can, because im being asked to and i will not refuse. but i also share them because they're evidence of how deep the racism has run. at what dehumanization leads to. of war crime after war crime. this too i will not forget.
Just a blog for whatever I'm interested in at any given time. 23.
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