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tannieschim

4 years ago

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tannieschim

2 years ago

Schedule for January (Patreon)

Girl of his Dreams (One)- Early Access

Read the prologue here.

Burning Love (Two)- Exclusive Sneak Peek

Read chapter one here.

Smut Drabble ($8 tier)

I don't know which member's I should upload. Fell free to suggest!

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tannieschim

2 years ago

In Real Life • teaser

-> Being transported into a fanfic is not exactly Jimin's ideal type of weekend, especially not right after you rejected his attempt to ask you out. Now the two of you will have to help the author write a happy ending if you ever wanna make it back to real life. Can he write a happy ending with you too?

Main pairing: gamer boy!jimin x fem!creative writing major!reader

Genre/au: trapped in a fanfic!au, enemies to friends to lovers, low-key love triangle, sports!au (archery), college!au, a good amount of fluff, a poor attempt at humor, some angst, inspired by Teen Beach Movie and Extraordinary You

Warnings: breaking the fourth wall sorta / pov changes, embarrassing moments, kissing, Jimin being a sweetheart bc I can't write him any other way. warnings to be added as I finish the fic.

Teaser wc: 851

Total wc: 15K+ (there is no release date at this time)

Disclaimer: this is not meant to represent all fanfiction and I'm not implying that all fanfic writers or readers only engage in fanfiction to escape reality. it's just for the sake of the story.

💿 the author - Luz :: more of you - JP Saxe :: main character - Zach Hood

a/n: I've wanted to do something like this for a while so I hope it works ☺️ just a heads up that the "author" is a character in the story. I hope it's not confusing lol. Feedback is appreciated!

If you'd like to be on the taglist, leave a comment, reblog, or dm. You're already tagged if you're on my perm taglist <3

"Yep." With a sigh and a nod, you face Jimin and speak directly to him, arms crossed and hip popped out in disappointment. "The author led us to the right girl. She's the reader insert, alright."

Your Name occupies herself, amazed by her own hands and interlocking her fingers with a wishful sigh. She's been written to fall in love with the man of her dreams, to discover angsty heartbreak and become the apple of her lover's eye. When she's not doing anything directly related to that purpose, she's just an empty shell of a character, a copycat filling space and time until her next scene.

"She's dumb as a sack of rocks."

"No one is reading the story right now, remember? The author is still writing it. Your Name is an empty character," you explain, scanning her perfect figure up and down with a jealous click of your tongue.

"So, if someone reads the story…"

"Then part of that person's character is reflected in Your Name. It's what makes fanfiction fun to read. You get to put yourself in the story."

Okay, maybe Jimin sees the attractiveness in that. It's an escape just like video games, except more lame and pitiful.

Your Name has yet to do or say anything else. She just sways with her hands folded against her chest, mind empty, no thoughts, unable to leave or initiate anything without the author's guidance or some other trigger.

"Why would anyone want to be her?"

The doors to the cafeteria burst open, immediately stealing everyone's attention. The whole building pauses in place, heads turning in slow-mo to see what the big commotion is about, choirs of gasps and the sound of panties dropping to the ground left and right.

In walks sex on legs, dark hair fluffy with a gloved hand brushing through thick bangs, skin tight jeans and a leather bracer around his wrist. He pretends to pull an arrow from the empty quiver on his hip, shooting it and a charming wink in the direction of a cafeteria worker, chuckling when they faint against the wall with a hand over their heart.

There's only one person who could have that kind of effect simply by walking into the room.

"That's why," you reply, hypnotized eyes following his every move through the line to get lunch. "The main male lead."

"So, it's all about the guy, huh?"

"Obviously. It is a Jungkook fanfic, so yeah."

Jimin gawks. "Wait, that's supposed to be Jeon Jungkook? You mean the singer slash actor in real life?"

"Yep," you sigh in content. Even if this is a fanfic, you're in the same room as the Jungkook and you'll never forget this day.

"That dude doesn't know archery," Jimin pouts.

"It's a fanfic, so he does in this story, okay? Shut up."

Jimin just rolls his eyes, too proud to admit the way you're staring at that fanfic character makes his blood boil something awful. But you're not the only one entranced.

Your Name hasn't been able to blink since Jungkook walked in, hands folded shyly at her chest and lips slightly parted. She holds her breath as he struts in her direction, whipping his hair out of his eyes only for it to gracefully fall over his forehead again.

Jungkook passes by with his lunch, but he doesn't even give Your Name a glance, not even the barest of recognitions. She opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but no sound comes out. Just a defeated sigh when Jungkook sits down at a table with a bunch of other students and not her.

She pulls her bag further up her shoulder, putting her head down and walking out of the cafeteria as unnoticeably as possible. Jimin watches her, a surprising sense of sympathy for her despite reminding himself she's a fictional character.

You lift a finger to your temple, leaning into Jimin's side as you both watch the scene play out. "I understand."

"What? What just happened?"

"We have to get Jungkook together with Your Name. She's the shy, unnoticed school girl and he's the popular, sporty hunk with a heart of gold."

"Oh come on, that's the worst trope ever." He rolls his eyes in Jungkook's direction. "Heart of gold my ass. He just walked right passed Your Name and didn't even flinch."

"Like you would know anything about fanfic tropes."

"Video games have tropes too, you know."

You roll your lips tight when he sticks his tongue out at you, trying not to smile at how cute he was just now.

"Like what?"

Jimin begins counting on his fingers. "I could name five off the top of my head."

"Are any of them the shy school girl and popular sports star?"

"No."

"Then you can reference video games again when they can actually help us," you say, looking back at Jungkook's table. "For how, we need to figure out a way to get those two together so we can end the fic and get out of here. Any ideas?"

Full fic to be posted!

Perm taglist (let me know if you're not interested in being tagged when the full fic drops):

@staerryminimini @unicornbabylover @kookieswan @sugarflywme @dvalitaes @kookiecrumb @jeonsjiddies @myooniverse @miscelunaaa @jinsquishes @azreeeeee @armys-dna @thesugatoyourtae @jmforevs @kimprosperi @jjkeverlast @joontied @pamzn @ssaboala @hobipost @jimilter @sleepilysworld @rjsmochii @familiarlikemymirror3 @gimmethatagustd @alluringfairies @minijagiya @roseyykris @jwnghyuns @kaitaesupremacy @squawkadoodledoo @jimin2014 @jminthinker @femmesstuff @valhallawhispers @bora-kat @bloodline1632 @lookhere-2seok @hoseokteardrop @minniesvenus @seokjinkismet @chimchimmarie @mywhispered-thoughts @pasttelrose @screamertannie @soeur-de-ame @dunixxd

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tannieschim

4 years ago

Why do you reblog your own fics so much?

Because someone might as well!? And look at this. Look. At. This.

Does this look right to you??

These are just the last three fics I wrote. I appreciate the likes, believe me I do, but you have to understand. Likes do nothing for content creators. It’s the reblogs. Because that’s how you find shit on your dashboard. Through reblogs. Not likes. This isn’t twitter or tiktok or instagram. This is a website that’s run by the reblog system.

Reblogging helps content creators put their stuff out there. Why do you think so many people stopped writing fanfic and creating beautiful fanart and edits? It’s because they put in hours of work and don’t get nearly enough notes for their masterpieces. Yes we do this because we enjoy it but like...some validation won’t hurt. A boost of confidence here and there might be all someone needs to finish whatever thing they started and left.

Anyway, I’m still going to reblog my shit...

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tannieschim

2 years ago

loving you is all i know

pairing: taehyung x reader

wordcount: 19k

glimpse: you feel as if the world would stop revolving without taehyung in it, so you protect him with all your might. taehyung thinks that heaven wouldn't fall even without you in it, so he revokes every fiber of your being.

alternatively, you're taehyung's guardian angel and you'd go to hell and back for him — even if you get nothing in return; even if you never receive the love that you give.

[ heavy angst i'm telling u rn, wholesome n comforting moments here and there, unrequited love (at first), so much longing, emotional constipation, mentions of intercourse (not between the main pairing), self-doubt and loathing, mentions of blood n injuries, jk's a literal devil but his acts of evil include making fun of a funky-looking bird, this fic isn't biblically accurate/specifically religious at all because i never intended it to be in the first place :) ]

notes: and it's finally here <3 took me about three days to write sporadically but really, this idea's been sitting on my drafts for already half a year!! once again gonna reiterate that this fic is gonna be on the heavier side so pls read with caution!!

as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :)

“Is that him?”

Jimin hears you ask for the thirteenth time ever since you've landed on Earth — and that was four minutes ago.

He would like to think that he's a patient man, really. He'd like to think that he's calm and not irritable even when the peer (friend, if you really push him to consider you one) he's with at the moment tends to be repetitive.

Time is merely a social construct and angels, of all beings, know that something which is meant to be undefined and infinite shouldn't be constrained by two little hands moving clockwise. Sure, five minutes in Heaven is still five minutes on Earth, but with you in tow?

Jimin could swear easily that you make time either faster or slower than it should be.

"Don't you think I would've already pointed it out to you if we saw him already? After all, this is why we came down here, hmm?"

He's a snippy angel, that's what he's been told. He's a considerate and caring one but he just tends to become a little bit sharp with his tone and the way he lazily looks at people before he rolls his eyes, playing it off as if he's praying to the sky.

Jimin knows that he's not exactly the textbook version of what should be strictly good and holy, but seeing you giggle at the way he snaps at you, he's reminded that maybe, just maybe, you may be his favorite mentee that he's ever had.

"Right, right. Please caw immediately when you spot him, okay?" you plead to him and you don't miss the way he guffaws at your request, crossing his arms against his chest while you peer at the pedestrian lane at any sign of him.

It's raining and it's the first time you've been here.

Everything overwhelms you but it's the good type of sensory overload that you feel within your senses. Everything feels so raw and real and saturated that your body feels heady trying to take it all in.

The rain actually dampens the silk of your shirt and for once, it's dark outside. The skies are dark and muted and no longer bright, but it's still illuminated by the moon you've only barely seen through your lifetime. It's cold and gloomy but you allow yourself to bask in it, unaware of the fact that you're unconsciously shivering.

The streets are busy and loud but at the same time, they lull to the same comfortable noise you've expected it to be. There's laughter and eagerness and concern that you can pick up within the mix that it makes your head whip at every passing person.

People walk through you given that you and Jimin are invisible to their sights, but you don't mind. You can't scoff and avoid people who walk into you just like how Jimin does because they're too enticed with their lives going on that you want in on it. You grow interested at every passing conversation and every dulling thought that you interact with.

Jimin literally has a grip on you with the way his hand is fisting the back of your shirt to stop you from wandering because the exact spots where the two of you are now are exactly what's intended, not requiring any of you to seek out what's already predestined.

"Is that him?"

You ask the moment you see the back of someone's head that looks like the silhouette of him passing at the crosswalk, about to free yourself from Jimin's grip when he tugs you back with a sigh.

“Not everyone who passes by is automatically your human, Y/N.”

Jimin tolerates your presence and even if everyone thinks he has no choice but to, considering the fact that you're his last mentee that he needs before being promoted, he genuinely does like having you around.

But in moments like these, when your eyes are too bright following even the silhouette of someone that resembles your human; when your hands reach out unconsciously to carry burdens that you aren't even sure of entirely — Jimin fears that you'd be hurt.

You’re smart. You're too kind. You're a little too trusting and devoted. You're too dedicated and loving. You're too much of everything good and too less of anything bad; too much of everything selfless and too less of everything self-serving.

Jimin believes that he has no fear but he thinks that the pathetic bone-chilling goosebumps he gets are reserved for his mentee who's yet again trying to break from his hold to try and chase someone down; his mentee who took the rashest yet most endearing way to his heart, enough for him to look at you as a sibling he's prayed countless of times for. Enough for him to insult you in his head as he tries to reign in his worries.

You are a stupidly, irrationally devoted person.

“Minnie, they can’t see us right?”

He indulges you by agreeing with no complaints to ease your nerves, biting back remarks about how this was already a given if you take into account how many people have already walked through the two of you. Even more, he lets your nickname for him pass as he doesn't even look fazed when you glance at him.

“Not a single trace. We’re only-” his eyes follow the blinking of the pedestrian stoplight as the green glow times out, his ears perking up at the familiar roar of an engine he can't mistake, "seen when we want to be seen."

The rain still drops and even though it's faint enough for you to go through yet heavy enough for you to feel, all that your senses could register is him.

You’ve been training for practically hundreds of years. You're short-handed for the whole period itself because majority of guardian angels train for thousands but with Jimin overseeing you, he didn't necessarily feel that you needed the extra time.

You feel too aware and in tune with him because all you have is tunnel vision at this point. No longer could you hear the bustle and feel the rain because the world stops for you even if it doesn't for anyone no matter what.

“That’s him.”

Jimin speaks definitely but he already knows that you were sure of it even before he opened his mouth, eyes glancing at you as you peer at him nervously before looking at the human who's merely stuck in traffic.

“Y-yeah? That must be him, right?” you rhetorically ask even if you know that there's no answer otherwise, eyes in disbelief yet your heart in credence as you only gaze at your human with pure curiosity.

Your human, the one who's sat at the convertible and has his gaze blank even if the world around him is clear-cut. Your human, the one with the silky dark hair and the blatantly expensive clothes that are getting damp by the minute. Your human, the one with the distinctly beautiful features that look devoid of everything pleasing.

“Kim Taehyung.”

The world stops for you even if the ticking stoplight should tell you that it hasn't. You feel driven and compelled for something you don't even know of and Jimin knows he starting to lose you for one of his only fears.

Your eyes are too bright and your hands start to itch to try and relieve whatever burden your human has, the one fatal flaw of yours that he picks out from the start already becoming glaringly evident.

You are a stupidly, irrationally devoted person.

“Read his files, right?” Jimin asks for the sake of conversation, momentarily pulling you out of your trance as you nod eagerly.

You've read Taehyung's files only a couple thousand times and as much as you know him by calculated words and scripted assumptions, seeing him in the flesh the first time is incomparable to every description you've tried to coax out of your mentor.

“Only brought you down so you could take a look at him before your official job starts next week. If you suddenly realize you don’t like him, then I’m sorry but there is literally nothing I could do.”

You harbor no dislike for your human and you think that you never will because in this angle, he looks every bit lovable. He looks every bit of the fruition from your rigorous training and sleepless nights of worry. Taehyung's only twenty-six years of age but he's worth the hundreds of years of your own, willing to take him under your wing even if it costs your training to be a thousand.

“You could, however, file a complaint to HR explaining why you don’t want to protect the human that’s fated to you," Jimin continues and his tirade against human resources keeps you grounded, coaxing a laugh out of you as he's frenzied to explain. "They’d give you a response perhaps a millennium later, but that’s alright of course!”

He's become so worried for you that he turned his attention into becoming too worked up instead, effectively working when his trepidation becomes irritation instead. It's passive-aggressive of him and he knows it entirely that he wills himself to change the topic, unaware that you're no longer listening.

Jimin's too absorbed with stressing how HR annoys him to no end that he realizes belatedly that his fist is no longer grabbing you by the back of your shirt, eyes widening in surprise.

“What are you-...”

His feet stop at the sight of yours walking to where your human is, figure completely determined with no mind to your surroundings.

In all honesty, Taehyung hasn't even realized that it was raining.

He's drained from yet another party his appearance needed to be in. He's done nothing besides go through the motions of having objective fun in the name of downing shots, flirting left and right, and making a show out of his dignified name. Yet again, he did nothing besides going through activities of what's supposed to be letting loose but he feels so stiff.

He's an heir at his family's company. He's a socialite at his friends' parties. He's someone so famous that sometimes, people collectively forget that they don't even know what or why he's popular.

In his car, by himself, Taehyung's neither an heir, a socialite, or a celebrity.

Either he doesn't know that it's raining or he does yet he doesn't care, but either way, it's a sight your heart can't take to bear.

Jimin watches as you walk with purpose to where your human is and before either of you could realize, you're sat at the dock of his car and your wings that you rarely flex are out. The wings you don't even fluff and feather in special occasions are out and it's to shield a human who could simply push a button to shelter him from the rain.

Taehyung blinks once, twice, when he realizes that the outpouring of rain has suddenly stopped. He'd already known prior that the sky was raining and he'd grown numb to the soft pitter-patter, but now that it's suddenly stopped, then does the feeling of the raindrops return.

He looks left and right and he barely flinches in realization that the sky's only stopped falling for him, the bizarreness of the situation not quite hitting him.

He looks up and you gasp out of reflex, momentarily forgetting that you’re invisible but if you focus just a bit more closely, Taehyung’s eyes harden as if he could see you — his eyes curious and glassy yet firm, making you believe that he could truly see you.

His car shifts back into drive and the moment it revs forward is the instance that you walk back to Jimin, eyes trained on the vehicle as it speeds off.

Your visit should've already been done the moment your eyes landed on Taehyung but your mind is the furthest thing away from succumbing into rest, making a mental note to make him drive a little less haphazardly.

There's not much traffic anymore which is why you could see from a distance how despite the roads being empty, he switches lanes ever so often; maybe it's for the thrill, maybe it's for the feeling.

You watch until you could no longer see him from a distance, but you know you can still feel him. You watch and you smile until the back of your shirt gets crumpled again and Jimin coaxes you to snap out of it.

That’s your human.

Taehyung’s your human.

( ♡ )

Taehyung likes anticipating things.

He wants to buy a bottle of booze he’d never drink and a candle he’d never light. At the top of his head, he makes lists in his mind to lull himself back to sleep because counting sheep never worked for him. When you ask him what he wants, he’d answer in detail and stop talking until it satisfies the itch in his mind.

He has every capability to be able to anticipate things without fear of draining out his wallet and in his mind it’s so much worse. He’s weaponized beyond belief and there’s no actual threshold for him to stop anticipating — but he does it nonetheless.

Taehyung buys the 25-year old Japanese single malt whiskey even if he just wants to display it on his shelf and rarely ever thought about drinking it. He looks forward to drinking it one day, and he doesn’t know what he’s waiting for, but he postpones each urge he has. He could easily buy another bottle for him to consume and retain the other as a display piece, but not once has he thought about actually doing it.

He buys the custom-made artisan candle in the shape of the cake that his mother used to bake for him and have the scent of it modeled to replicate the smell of his childhood blankie. It’s beautiful without a doubt, but all he does is keep it inside a glass display box away from sunlight and gaze at it.

He's always known he could have duplicates of the things he treasures the most. He could have the most beautiful moments of his life reproduced over and over again but despite having the capability, he chooses not to because that's the problem itself.

Taehyung has and could have everything to the point that he holds himself back.

He holds himself back from repeating anything worthy enough of his effort because the more he orbits around the same loop, the more that he feels detached with the very reason he's done it in the first place.

He isn't irked when he sees the wonky vase he's made for his mother out of a whim when he was 17, bored, and had too much money in his pockets. The clay's imperfect and the sage green glaze doesn't save it. It looks swanky and too bourgeoise in their family home and that's coming from him, the too many 24k gold leaves haphazardly stuck on the vase starting from the bottom. It's an eyesore but Taehyung doesn't want to recreate the vase, this time with more finesse and vision, because he finds no point going back to a memory that's already been lived in.

He was young at 17, bored, and had too much money in his pockets when he decided to rent out a whole pottery studio to work in it privately and make a vase for his mom. He takes it home to her and they have a good laugh about it.

It's a pure memory he wants to leave untouched.

"Going out tonight, don't follow me."

Taehyung jogs down the stairs with the most mundane and unsuspecting outfit he could find in his closet to walk around in at night — the dull grey get-up coincidentally being a luxury brand, but it's good enough for him.

"I can't not follow you, sir."

Namjoon emphasizes through his teeth, his hands held in front of him as he asserts his figure at the bottom of the staircase; a not-so-subtle way to tell him that he should be tailing him wherever he goes at this time of night.

Taehyung's had Namjoon as his bodyguard for what feels like forever because even if the guy only has a couple of years on him, it seems to him that they've grown together. His bodyguard four years ago was definitely not this buff, that much he's sure of. In fact, he's being lenient in this tone because Namjoon of four years ago would've just tailed him no matter what without uttering a single word.

And now, they banter just like how brothers would.

"Jeez, I can manage, trust me. Does this outfit scream socialite to you, hm?" he juts his hip out, motioning to the monochromatic ensemble he has on that he deems simple enough.

"No," Namjoon replies almost immediately and his client thinks that he's already cleared just like that, but Taehyung's yanked back just as quick when he attempts to walk past him. "No, not only do you look like a socialite, but you also look like an heir to a billionaire — you are both, sir."

"Shut up," he whines, rolling his eyes, "and I know you're not calling me by my name just so you could get on nerves."

"My apologies," Namjoon smiles too sweetly for his own good, "my apologies sir dimwit." His hand comes to lightly smack Taehyung on the back of his head that earns him an appalled scoff, widened eyes looking frantically him.

"What the hell was that for?!" he sputters, soothing the barely-hurting spot on his head before the hand he uses to do it is grabbed by the wrist.

"You're going out tonight wearing the saddest looking pair of sweatpants but you're wearing a Patek Philippe on your wrist. It's like you want to be robbed."

"Hey, maybe I do want to be robbed," Taehyung chimes, easily earning himself another swat which he barely dodges. "What? I've been protected my whole life! I atleast want to feel a thrill."

The moment the words leave his lips, he immediately grasps how entitled and disconnected he sounds like.

Namjoon knows that the younger boy means well and he tries his best to understand (he really does) that Taehyung and of his like have a much different set of problems than what he has. It’s perhaps an ill-painted joke that was supposed to be lighthearted but he can’t just let him get away with it this time, considering the two of them have grown close enough to make jabs at him.

“Right. I am so, so sorry you’ve been sheltered and stable your whole life, Taehyung.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” he mumbles under his breath, suddenly meek as he looks down on the floor.

It’s not much of a tense silence because it’s normal for them to poke fun at each other every once in a while, but what he does know is that it’s weighted.

It’s a little sudden even if the two of them stand in parallel positions with Namjoon having his jaw set and his gaze burning through Taehyung’s scalp, and the latter being the one to look away until the purpose of why he’s still here pops into his head.

“Are you religious?”

Namjoon deadpans at the question popped out of the blue, throwing in a shrug when it sinks into his head that the question’s asked insistently.

“Sometimes.”

“Do you believe in a higher power?”

“When I need to.”

Namjoon doesn’t plan on elaborating as much as Taehyung doesn’t plan on asking, looking at him boredly.

Silence doesn’t engulf them anymore but either way, the atmosphere remains loaded but perhaps it’s only one-sided because Taehyung bounces back, a perk in his step as he fixes his posture.

“Good,” he affirms. “Then just believe in that higher power you have that someone’s watching over me tonight.”

“Someone?” he chuckles at the animosity of the being that Taehyung’s implying, although not against it either.

“Mhmm. Anyone, someone. Just think of it as someone looking over me to keep me safe. Look, someone’s watching over me too while I go out alone tonight!”

Taehyung smiles as he explains, feet angling towards the door already as he continues.

“You’re saying this just so I wouldn’t be on your tail.”

The motive behind his little existential question and answer moment is clear as day and neither of them try to serve the dignity for themselves because Taehyung’s halfway through the door and surprisingly, Namjoon is rooted in the same spot.

“I sure am,” he chuckles and after lingering for one more second to know that he wouldn’t have a security detail for tonight, he says a rushed goodbye before bolting to the door. He almost trips on his feet at excitement but he plays it off, continuing with his bit. “Would you look at that! I didn’t trip.”

Taehyung smiles as he collects his keys by the foyer, looking back at his bodyguard with a faux look of amazement in his features.

“Someone caught me, don’t you think?”

Namjoon sighs in resignation as he just dismisses him, knowing that he would’ve gone even without his permission not unless he literally manhandles him back inside the mansion. “Just don’t do anything stupid, Tae. Please.”

Taehyung knows to himself that he’s mostly sensible by all accounts and takes pride in it. He’s eerily too self-aware that he knows what exactly to pick himself apart for, even if he opts to keep his observations to himself.

He knows he’s being curt when he barely bats an eyelash to an employee that bares his all in pitching a product he didn’t even bother reading about. He could’ve had the opportunity to prove that he isn’t a half-baked socialite who gets to sit in meetings with his mother, but he passes up on the chance simply because he feels unwilled to prove anything to anyone at this point.

He knows he’s being apathetic when he always looks as if he’s put on hostage whenever he takes pictures of himself with Scooby to send to his mom, serving as proof that he takes care of the hyacinth macaw. The pictures he sends consist of the big blue talking bird perched on his shoulder, a less than pleased obligatory smile on his face. Is Scooby his actual bird? No. But is Scooby his mom’s bird that she tearfully gave to Taehyung when he moved out, even if he clearly didn’t ask for it, with the reason that she doesn’t want her son to be alone? Yes.

He knows he’s being rude when he goes out of his way to eagerly deny that he’s a mama’s boy even if she’s present in the scene. The both of them know that it’s true either way, but he also knows that it brings him nowhere because it’s clear as day that the two of them have a healthy mother-son relationship that people would trade riches for.

Taehyung knows he’s being reckless when he heads straight to the crowded lively pier that’s more or less gonna attract attention to himself; the only one with sunglasses at the dark of the night, and the one who looks like a complete tourist craning his neck up to look at fireworks.

In under no circumstance has he ever blended into a crowd. Kim Taehyung the socialite is someone whose face as a baby was revealed in a magazine with a payment that’s more than enough to support him through his lifetime. He’s the name that precedes commonality in and before itself.

He stands out too much and he’s blissfully unaware to the point that he’s garnered quite an audience with the purpose to look at a guy who’s peering up at the sky. He’s entranced to the point of disconnection that he only snaps out of his adoration when he harshly gets pulled by the arm, an offending screech immediately escaping him.

“What are you doing outside without Namjoon? Why did you go out dressed like this?!”

He could swear that he was only grabbed for a second and that the tree line he’s in now is atleast thirty feet away from the pier, the confusion overtaking him before the anger registers completely that someone’s just grabbed him.

“Next time, don’t just make abrupt outings like these, alright? And what are you doing wearing a flashy watch like that? Taehyung, think about it! Do you know that anyone could make a shiv from the corndog sticks they’re selling here? Anyone! Hey, what if someone randomly stabbed you for your watch, huh? You’re just-…”

The complete bemusement Taehyung knows he feels is soon dissolved because looking at you, someone who he doesn’t have a single clue of, melts away the anxiety of going out alone that he didn’t even know he felt. He doesn’t know one bit about the person standing in front of him who’s blubbering worriedly and is wearing a far noticeable outfit than him, but it’s odd for him to not feel any fear towards you.

You’re carried away with worry to the point that you don’t even notice the human standing scarily still in front of you is trying to catch your face, head tilting to catch yours that’s anxiously whipping about.

“Hey. Stop it.”

The way Taehyung’s voice reaches your ears paralyzes you completely, eyes moving with a newfound curiosity to see if he’s addressing you.

He resists the urge to tilt his head rudely when he finally gets to catch your gaze, instead being worse off when he nods his chin to you in acknowledgement.

“Who are you supposed to be?”

You’re prepared for this. Jimin’s been prepping you almost your whole existence on what you should answer when your human asks you who you are. There’s a manual for almost every situation including when you willingly show your physical form to a human but god would you suggest to Jimin once you see him again to make a manual entitled: What should a guardian angel do when they accidentally reveal themselves in a fit of worry because they trailed after their human who unknowingly put himself in danger?

Your mouth dries despite the numerous hypothetical question-and-answer portions you’ve had with Jimin. You give yourself pep talks every sunrise that you’re quick-witted but holy shit do you feel unguarded, tripping over your words as you try to be as easy-going as you could.

“I’m supposed to be your guardian angel. Wait, not supposed, I mean assigned. No, no, that sounds forced. Well no, I’m not forcing myself on you! But I mean — god, I’m just saying that I’m your angel! Whether you like it or not, I’m your guardian and — oh no, do you not like me? Please like me because I’m not implying that you don’t have a choice but-…”

Taehyung’s eerily self-aware.

He knows that he’s baffled beyond measure to hear what he’s hearing now and see what he’s seeing now and that if anything, it’s awe-striking that he’s trying to be level-headed in this situation.

He knows that it’s rational to be thrown into a loop to have something as simultaneously big and mind-bending of a revelation to be dropped by someone equally as unfathomable.

He knows that he’s not particularly and devotedly religious nor spiritual in the first place but even that would not be enough of a reason to make sense of the whole concept of you.

What Taehyung doesn’t know is that despite walking away from you wordlessly and calling it a night, he gets home safe because of the proclaimed angel who’s promised its existence to him. He doesn’t know that he’s walked in a warm and well-lit path without anyone standing in the way of him, nor does he know that the serene buzz of fireworks that he hears all the way home is exclusive to him.

Taehyung doesn’t know you yet, but he knows that he’d be able to get home just fine even if he hadn’t met you tonight.

Atleast that’s what he believes.

( ♡ )

“I’m sorry but you are-?”

Namjoon blinks hardly to look at you, eyes straining from the train of thought that his mind’s enduring at the moment.

Being a bodyguard, he’s already had his fair share of unexplainable experiences. Is this the first time that Taehyung asks him to meet someone to scope them out? Definitely not. Is this the first time that Taehyung asks him to profile someone with no prior explanation? Of course not. Is this the first time that Taehyung asks him ambiguously to scope someone out with a highly-specific explanation? It is and there’s no logical explanation to what he feels.

You admire Namjoon who stands before you, looking past his tense and confused exterior to instead notice some of the marks that he carries. You’ve read about Taehyung’s file extensively and in it for the most part is the buff bodyguard that keeps staring you down.

You’re grateful for him and the healing scratch you see on his bicep, one you know that he’s gotten after getting Taehyung through a mob outside a concert that they’ve attended. You’re thankful for him and the bruises on his elbows from pummeling against paparazzi from your human’s latest trip abroad. He’s been Taehyung’s angel on earth even before you properly came into the picture and you can’t thank him enough.

He’s a little bit mean but it doesn’t deter you, prompting you to answer him eagerly.

“Tae’s guardian angel.”

“Tae?” he tilts his head at the use of the nickname, earning him a shriek from aforementioned guy.

“That’s what you’re checking?”

Truth be told, he didn’t even know what to expect from Namjoon when he told him to meet you. He looked calm even when not a second later that he agrees, you already come through the door because you’ve followed Taehyung home. He didn’t know what to make of Namjoon meeting someone who’s probably volatile if what all of you’re saying is true, but Taehyung for sure knows that he didn’t expect this.

Namjoon looks calmer than he expected him to be. He looks laid-back and not anxious at all, his eyebrows relaxed and his jaw unclenched as he looks at you in the way that he doesn’t find you a grave threat at all. He’s always on-guard given the nature of his job and yet he acts as if it’s his day-off.

Namjoon extends his hand out, probably awaiting for something of yours that it makes you flustered, recalling all the things you’ve brought with you that’s significant enough for him to ask for.

“I’m gonna need to see an ID.”

The shock that consumes your features is apparent, a breathless sigh leaving you. “An ID?”

You weren’t prepared for this impromptu interrogation at all. Jimin’s once explained the concept of humans being verified by a piece of plastic with holographic film on it and the both of you agreed that it’s pathetic to even attempt to have one, seeing to it that neither of you aren’t bound to the land you step on anyway.

The concept is so pathetic and important at the same time that it makes you want to grip your hair out because of course! Namjoon is Taehyung’s bodyguard and of course he’ll protect him, starting by verifying your identity first.

“Excuse me,” Namjoon gently interjects, taking a few steps back to come near to Taehyung who’s leaning against the wall. He tries to be subtle as he motions his head to you, a genuinely curious lilt to his voice. “Is miss guardian angel here a stripper?”

Taehyung chokes on nothing, eyes widening tremendously. “W-what?” he coughs, shoulders trembling from the abruptness. “Namjoon, come on man,” he grimaces at the tactless tone and that’s coming from him. Him!

You obviously overhear their conversation and the frantic flailing of your hands remind them that you’re still here. “I’m a real angel, trust me! Look, I can even call my mentor to prove my existence.”

“Oh you have a mentor?” Namjoon snickers, itching his temple as he comes back to standing in front of you. “Nice.”

“I know it’s easy not believing me but-“

“I’m glad you do.”

If anyone were to tell Namjoon that he’d be interviewing a supposed guardian angel in his boss’ office (who’s younger than him in age) while in his sweatpants because this flow of events happened extremely fast, he would smack you in the face to never say shit like that again.

“And I’m not mad at all because this is great! Namjoon, this is exactly why you’re perfect as Taehyung’s bodyguard. You’re always wary and that’s what he needs exactly. No one comes close to your skill — wait, I pretty much do but you get my point,” you ramble continuously, only being aware of the cold glare on you when you take the time to look up. “… right?”

Namjoon knows as far that his name isn’t the only thing you know. He knows as far that no stalker would ever act the way you’re doing right now because ill-intended people like those would always have their intentions transparent no matter the facade — your intentions are desperate but they only reek of innocence.

He gets praised for his skill and is brought down the next second because this stranger who’s just barged in poked at his job in his own place of work, disregarding the compliments altogether to roll his eyes at you and peer at Taehyung.

“Why did you want me to meet her again?”

“I didn’t want you to. She just keeps following me,” he shrugs all too well, already knowing that he’s set you up perfectly to be the receiving end of Namjoon’s rudeness.

The bodyguard returns his gaze at you, eyes narrowed in reply. “That makes you a stalker, not an angel.”

The sigh that leaves you sounds close to being tired, your hands bunched together as you plead with him longer. In all honesty, it’s a fair comparison but following Taehyung is your job as an angel! You already know that you’re only irritating the both of them further at your insistence but you won’t leave without maximizing your efforts, in utter hope that it would come to fruition.

“Please trust me. Look, my mentor’s coming any second now. I could prove it to you even before then but-“

“Then prove it.”

Jimin’s communicated back to you that he’ll be beside you in less than ten minutes because he’s still straightening things up with HR, since apparently, he’s “accidentally” set the supervisor named Seokjin’s desk on flames and he was “apologizing” by the time you’ve contacted him.

You can’t wait any longer for him because you know that it would only raise their disbelief for you in the first place, springing you into action. The first thought that crosses your mind is to look at the room, skimming on what you could utilize.

The three of you are in Taehyung’s study anyway and the way that it’s massive reminds you that you need to narrow down it immediately. You look around frantically, eyes landing on Tae who’s laid down on the couch with his phone in his hands that you snatch it away immediately; the same speed that he told Namjoon about what he felt back in the pier being apparent.

“Take a picture of me now.”

The phone’s outstretched for Namjoon to take, finding it a little silly that you look so determined and the only thing you’re holding onto (quite physically and mentally) is a phone. He doesn’t question it, taking it from your hands with his eyebrows raised on how exactly would this pan out.

He obliges with little to no enthusiasm at all as you hurriedly place yourself next to Taehyung, lazily holding the phone up to a point that it paints the scene of Tae glaring at the back of your head for snatching it in the first place, and you looking straight at the camera with a tiny smile.

Namjoon doesn’t even count and presses on the gallery to show you the picture because that’s exactly what he does too when Taehyung asks him to capture photos, briefly glancing at it to ask what’s your point-

And then he stops.

Namjoon retracts the phone before you even get to point it out, eyes blinking rapidly to look down on the screen.

Only Taehyung is in the picture.

He switches between random photos at the gallery and yet no matter which way he scrolls, the picture remains the same. Taehyung’s glaring at the air. There’s no shadows of your figure to be found, nor a single speck of motion that suggests you’ve just moved really quickly to get out of the shot before he even pressed capture.

“I’m not there,” you softly say as if it isn’t obvious yet, staying rooted in your position next to Taehyung, “but I’m here.”

Namjoon brings up the phone again but this time he takes a video, making his hand stable and wobbly at the next as he even zooms in repeatedly, pressing end as he keeps looking back and forth between you and the lack of you on the screen.

You’re still not there.

“Go to your room, Tae.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice,” he snickers as he walks past his bodyguard, snatching his phone back before he shuts the door on his way out.

You could predict you’re not completely off the hook yet with the way Namjoon looks at you with much curiosity, the both of you knowing that it’s laced with hesitancy through and through.

“I’m not trusting you just because you don’t show up in a picture.”

Admittedly, the whole thing of you being capable to show yourself to people in real-time while being unable to do so in any tangible evidence such as footage, is not the soundest idea of proof you could offer. After all, disappearing from screens isn’t all that promising because electronic devices are fallible.

Your train of thought ends at what could possibly be the most cliché yet the most assuring proof you could offer, not exactly being the most comfortable with it entirely.

“I could show you my wings.”

Namjoon’s attention is blatantly piqued, his eyes twinkling with something else other than curiosity. “No tricks?”

“You want me to take my shirt off?” you take your offer further and it takes him aback, later explaining to avoid him misinterpreting your words. “For you to see it clearly, I mean.”

“Sure,” he nods solemnly but his voice is caught on your throat, the atmosphere shifting in volumes when he raises the question. “Why are you trying to gain my trust first? I’m not your human.”

Another thing you admire about him is his sensibility. He’s keen to pick up on things and takes his cues well, not waiting on opportunities to make things known and instead make them himself.

“You trusting me means more than you think to Taehyung,” you admit. “He values your judgement a lot.”

Namjoon comes from a big family and he knows what it’s like to treat someone as such. Family’s messy and broad at all accounts and he knows that Taehyung comes close to someone he could treat as a younger brother, the admission coming from an outsider (although not exactly) still taking him by surprise.

Taehyung rarely trusts but when he does, it’s boundless. It covers him by extension and the both of you know that if there’s anyone in the room that Taehyung would entrust his life to, it’s not the actual guardian angel that comes in the form of you.

“I can get rid of you, y’know?” Namjoon speaks thickly, sounding more of a realization than it is a threat. “And Taehyung would probably never question me.”

“I know that,” you nod in full understanding despite the true implications of what he’s saying, “you can’t really fully get rid of me, but atleast let me show you before you do — please?”

Thinking about it, Namjoon wouldn’t lose anything at all from this interaction. In fact, he’s the one with the upper hand because someone of supposed divinity is asking for his permission. Your eagerness to prove yourself looks pitiful at this point that he relents. “Turn around.”

You don’t waste a second in taking your shirt off that it momentarily stuns Namjoon, looking away briefly until he realizes that he shouldn’t take his eyes off of you if he truly wants to believe. You shudder not because your skin is exposed, rather you feel slightly uncomfortable with the way you feel your wings unfurl. Only your back is visible to him but it makes you feel as if you’re naked, keeping your gaze down to avoid looking at your own appendages on any reflective surface.

Surprisingly, you don’t like your wings. Clearly, Namjoon doesn’t know that but he doesn’t need to since voicing out your unease would only raise his suspicions for you.

Jimin knows the most of your dislike for your own wings and how unlike any other angel, you don’t feel comfortable nor prideful of yours. This whole experience itself would’ve felt more uncomfortable if you showed them to anyone who’s much closer to you, but seeing to it that it’s only Namjoon who’s close to a complete stranger, the weight feels lighter.

The unease you feel is only a prick instead of a sting — this is for Taehyung anyway.

Namjoon didn’t know what to expect in the first place but seeing this, seeing you, he feels relieved when he sees wings appear in front of his very eyes, seamlessly sprouting from your own back. He didn’t know if he wanted to believe you in the first place but seeing how his figure slacks and his breathing stabilize, he knows the answer for himself. He doesn’t realize that his hand’s moving on its own to touch them, your figure immediately shuddering at the touch that he snaps out of his curious reverie.

“What are you doing here?” he breaks the tension effectively even if the silence felt more comforting than it is suffocating, his question knowingly out of the superficial context it once took.

“I’m here to protect Taehyung.”

“What do you think I’m here for then?” Namjoon asks with no malice, eyes unblinking because he feels as if you’d disappear from his sight at any second.

“That’s your job,” you reply honestly, knowing what he was trying to imply. “But it’s my destiny.”

He purses his lips in thought of how you don’t waste a beat in responding back to him. You’re more than serious and you even acknowledged that your purpose is already his job. The job of protecting Taehyung is already taken and yet here you are, incessantly wedging yourself in.

“I exist for it.”

“You don’t feel sad about it?” he asks with a sigh, shoving his hands into his pockets to prevent himself from picking at his cuticles. “That you exist solely to protect Taehyung?”

Namjoon’s only met you today and yet the pity he feels for you lasts for a lifetime. He thinks that you’ve been handed the shortest end of a stick and something as trivial as protecting a human is the sole purpose of someone ethereal — it’s unfair for you.

“His first thought was to take you to me with the intention of getting rid of you.”

It’s beyond obvious that getting rid of you one way or another is Taehyung’s plan. He let you follow him when in the handful times you did, he’s warded you away by yelling or sticking to someone else to ignore you.

You aren’t clueless, you know that Taehyung easily led you right to Namjoon to have you taken care of.

“There’s nothing sad about it,” you shrug, picking up the pity you hear from his voice. “I actually could exist for myself when something happens in particular,” you admit, catching his attention once more.

Namjoon stands curious as he finds himself waiting for your next words, looking closely to see that your expression remains genuine.

“But until then, I’d live for Taehyung as much as he wants me to.”

“If he doesn’t?” he counters, squinting his eyes at the deep commitment he picks up from someone he pities more than himself.

“Then I’m thankful that he wanted me enough at some point to not want me anymore.”

Taehyung paces at the living room, his angry shuffling surely being audible even if you’re across the massive area.

“You’re allowing her to be around?!”

“Just think of her as Scooby.”

Namjoon carelessly replies, going over Taehyung’s itineraries and schedules while he’s sat on the floor. He’s perfectly relaxed and if only he didn’t know better, he’d mistaken Taehyung for the hyacinth macaw itself with the way he’s squawking and flying all over the room.

“Noisy, follows me around, and fusses over me?”

“Yup,” he hums, earning him a frustrated scoff from the younger boy. “Or just think of her as a second bodyguard.”

“Do I need to pay her?”

Taehyung’s voice switches out from his irritation, making his bodyguard’s head whip up to catch his gaze. It’s surely not the matter of money that made him focus, but instead it’s the insinuation that lies underneath his question. Just a second ago, Namjoon thought he would be fired for expressing his judgement and now?

“Do you want her around?”

Taehyung stops pacing, his gaze blank before he shakes his head fervently. “No, she annoys me,” he reasons, gesturing his hands to point at you who’s probably exploring his house at the moment. “But I can’t shake her off because you didn’t get rid of her!”

“Just try it out or something,” he sighs and what truly confuses him is if Taehyung just truly wanted to get rid of you, he’d do it himself because he has more than the power to do so, regardless of his bodyguard’s opinion. “If you don’t want her around then go file a restraining order against an angel if you could.”

“So she is an angel?” his eyes widen at the immediate turn of the conversation, a breathless scoff leaving him as he couldn’t be any more annoyed at this point.

“I believe her,” he admits, turning to see Taehyung’s reaction. “Do you?”

“Perhaps.”

The two of them are distracted within their own thoughts that none of them notice your eager descent on the stairs, only taking attention when they hear the door to the patio opening.

You already look so well-inhibited in his own house that he could’ve mistaken you for someone who lived their whole life here, only clicking into his head belatedly when he sees Scooby perched on your shoulder.

“What are you doing? He could’ve flown away!”

“Don’t worry, Tae. Look, I’m fine!” you narrate in excitement as you make a show of even stepping out to the shaded patio, waving your arms around that it’s a miracle Scooby doesn’t even flinch from your actions.

“Look, I’m fine!”

Taehyung was surely about to rip you a new one and kick you out of the house himself but the repetition of the words is what stops him, all of his vulgar words flying out the window when he points to Scooby in confusion.

“He doesn’t know-“ he shakes his head at the distraction, momentarily reserving his anger for you later. “You taught him that phrase?”

“Mhmm, I only said it twice to him!”

Taehyung could only take so much within a day and the moment his bird repeats your words when normally, it would take several weeks for him to even repeat a single one, it hits him in the head entirely.

It only dawns on him that there’s a stranger, who’s his guardian angel in an odd turn of events, is in his home after being spoken to by his usually skeptical and rude bodyguard, and on top of all that — with his bird perched on your shoulder.

“You should leave.”

“No thank you.”

“Are you shitting me right now?” he grits his teeth, eyes narrowing in anger. “Are you telling me no?” he guffaws, tilting his head in mockery. “As in no, you’re not gonna leave my own home even when I’m asking you to?”

“You don’t want me to leave,” you offer with a small smile, the hint of playfulness still in your eyes that it annoys him unlike no other.

“And you know exactly what I do and don’t want?”

Taehyung fires back and he’s only met with silence. You don’t move a single inch and hell, you don’t even look fazed. You look completely normal as if he hadn’t just exploded on you that it makes him stomp away, going up the stairs to avoid you completely.

“Unbelievable. Kick her out, Namjoon!”

“Door’s open,” Namjoon hums with disinterest as he hears Taehyung retreat up the stairs, sparing you a glance as you walk to him.

“You do know that I’m gonna come back, right?”

“Oh, I know that,” he chuckles at your giddiness despite what just happened a few seconds ago, standing up from his seat on the floor to pat on his shoulder, Scooby instantly transferring to his as he preens on his earring.

“See? You’re exactly like Scooby. You could leave anytime, but you don’t. You could fly away, but you come back,” he hums, petting the macaw. “But don’t sweat it out thinking about the bird analogy. I could just be describing lice at this context.”

“Kick her out, Namjoon!”

Now that’s a sentence Scooby has already heard a lot of compared to picking up a phrase from you freakishly quick, making him laugh at the way there’s almost always a delay whenever he parrots what he hears.

Namjoon opens the front door for you and you exit with a bounce on your step, bidding him goodbye with the promise of seeing him later.

“That’s what I’m doing, buddy.”

( ♡ )

In your first month with Taehyung, you hear him cry the loudest.

His sobs reach your ear painfully and in a second, you find yourself already standing outside of his bedroom door, ear pressed to the door in alert.

Namjoon is nowhere to be seen and you’re unsure if this is the first time this has happened, but either way, none of it matters because you’re here now. His cries make your hair stand in place that you can’t even will yourself to knock, immediately entering his room.

It’s already dark in the dead of the night but you could clearly see the outline of him against his bedframe, sat up as his sobs wrack his body raw.

Truth be told, Taehyung doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He doesn’t know why exactly he’s crying but he allows himself to because he’s hurting immensely with no idea.

“Taehyung, are you okay? Talk to me,” you mumble as you intrude his space, putting your hands on both his arms but it only makes him hunch over more, turning his face to his hands.

He’s folding over with pain and it tears you apart all over, your own tears springing from seeing him suffer.

“I’ll take the pain away,” you assure him, tilting your head down for him to see you as you hold him tighter. “I’ll take your pain away, okay? Can you hear me, Tae? I promise.”

Tonight, Taehyung's heart feels the heaviest without reason. It clenches around nothing but it feels like bursting, driving him to the point of tears.

But tonight, he isn’t alone. The pain that he feels subsides until it feels that it hasn’t even existed in the first place. It only feels like the residue of a phantom pain he once knew, the visceral grip releasing him eventually.

Your heart is the one that feels the heaviest at the dead of the night, but none of it matters to see Taehyung carrying one less burden on his shoulders.

( ♡ )

In your second month with Taehyung, you see a bruise on his neck.

You were only meant to survey the area around, really. He had insisted to eat at a hotel’s rooftop restaurant and even if Namjoon’s already eating, you still make sure just to see if anyone’s coming over to approach him, despite the lack of people in the space because you couldn’t be too sure.

Both boys are already getting started on lunch and if you didn’t know any better that Namjoon ordered for you, you would’ve felt more than appreciated to assume that Taehyung picked out your dish. You’re just about to lean your head back down to the table when you catch the flash of red, figure immediately straightening then.

The bruise is unmistakable even if your eyes only graze it for a second, seemingly-fresh with the way you could see the faint outlines of burst blood vessels on the surface.

“Who did this to you?” your voice isn’t as gentle as it was and even that makes Namjoon look up even if he wasn’t the one being addressed, wanting to find what your fuss is about. “Tell me while I’m still asking.”

“Taehyung, who hurt you?”

You repeat again and this time you’re more insistent, making his brows furrow in frustration because he doesn’t get you in the slightest bit. He hurriedly swallows his food, wiping his lips with a napkin before leaning against his chair.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

The new angle grants you an unlimited view of the bruise on his neck, his relaxed figure making his hoodie shift to the side.

“That!” you inwardly wince as you squint to look closer, your view suddenly being obstructed when he goes back to hunching over the table.

“No one hurt me, stupid,” he rolls his eyes, grabbing the collar of his hoodie to show you the bruise himself. “This is a hickey.”

Taehyung thinks the expression on your face is pathetic because he’s unsure if you’re really this slow or if angels are absolutely clueless, but either way he feels the urge to rub it into your face more.

“I had a great time last night if you must know.”

His bragging gets lost on the audience because Namjoon groans to his pasta while looking away, meanwhile you’re only deadpanning at him as you recall his bodyguard saying that Taehyung often has hook-ups and by safety measures, he has to (unfortunately) stay nearby just in case.

The concept of Taehyung being hurt while apparently having a great time is lost on you but you no longer question him, your only concern being that he’s in pain.

“B-but this must hurt,” you try again, reaching your hands out from across the table. “Let me heal you,” you stand quickly, trying to coax Namjoon into switching seats with you in which he agrees to in a daze because he’s still swallowing down his food before trying to diffuse the situation.

“Huh? What are you doing?” Taehyung grumbles, moving away from you even if your hands never reach him, swatting them in the process. “Stop!”

“But you’re hurting!” you dodge his swats to press a finger on the hickey, your enhanced hearing picking up a slight wince from his throat that only proved your point further.

“It doesn’t even hurt that much,” he reasons, pushing your chair away from him with sheer strength, taking it one step further by moving his chair too. At this point, only Namjoon is the one who’s proportional to the table. “Point is, I don’t need you to take this hurt from me because I want this hickey on me.”

Taehyung clearly remembers you going into his room the night he cried, distinctly reminiscing the way the hurt he felt from his chest lifted that time. He remembers the night clearly and yet not once did he bring it up, going about his days without even thanking you for it.

He was vulnerable at the time and it just happened that you were there — he hates the interaction now that he’s moved past it.

“Why do you want it?”

“You ask so many questions!” he snaps because you simply just won’t give up even if he’s already moved you away from him, eyes narrowing at how you’re already back to his side before it even hit him. “What, are you gonna ask me how many times we’ve fucked last night? How many positions I took her in? How much I came?”

He rambles on until he feels Namjoon’s heel dig into his shoe, stopping his tirade momentarily to look at him in annoyance.

“Stop it,” his bodyguard just whispers, looking away from the situation that has since turned sour the moment Taehyung opened his mouth.

Taehyung rolls his eyes but stays quiet nonetheless, sparing you a glance specifically just to mock you further but your gazes never meet, your line of sight only fixed on your plate until you mumble.

“Please just come to me when you need it healed.”

He pokes his tongue against his cheek because you’re just too much, scoffing before going back to his lunch that’s tellingly been silent.

“I don’t need you.”

( ♡ )

In your third month with Taehyung, he asks you for a favor.

You’re used to your evenings being silent, that much you’ve observed here on your time on earth. There’s always a buzz outside of Taehyung’s house but you’ve learned quickly to tune them out, instead focusing on the sounds that are important to you — heartbeats.

You’ve heard Taehyung coming out of his room from a mile away but it’s to your shock when the door to your room creaks open, a head peeking from your doorway to reveal none other than you human.

“I need you to take me out.”

“Right now?” you clarify, feet already angling to get out of bed but you make sure to not seem ecstatic that he’s the one coming to you this time. “Take you out where?”

“Just this store, they’re closing soon,” he waves his hand before tucking into his pocket, letting it known that he’s leaving the house with his sleepwear on without bothering to change. Taehyung somehow has a clue of what’s running through your head, rolling his eyes in second nature. “I’m only taking you because Namjoon doesn’t want me to go anywhere.”

“He doesn’t want you to go anywhere because you’re still trending,” your nose scrunches, atleast having the decency to put on some socks before you put on your slippers later because from what you’ve seen in humans, the combo was apparently comfortable that it makes you want to try them out yourself.

You understand Namjoon completely on why he doesn’t want Taehyung to go out especially since his name’s still under hot water, considering that he had only been the headlines of articles just last night. In fact, you support his bodyguard’s precautions completely because it’s the most rational decision to ever make, making you applaud his skill more and more.

“Yeah, yeah. Shame on me for getting some,” he dismisses, remembering how the pictures circulating now are of him mistakenly going out of the front entrance of a hotel at the dead of night, looking thoroughly fucked out with yet another hickey just barely visible.

You already know what you’re gonna do but Taehyung catches on slowly, tapping his feet impatiently (yet quietly because Namjoon’s a light sleeper) on the floor.

“I thought you were my guardian angel, huh? Why do you not want me now?”

“I do want you!”

You reply just as quick without a single thought, standing up once you finish putting on your socks. Taehyung resists the urge to laugh at how desperate you are in clarifying your yearning for him, waiting for you by the door instead. “Then what you’re gonna do is take me now to the store, and you never speak about it to Namjoon.”

It only happens at a blink of an eye in order for the two of you to appear just a few steps away from the store he’s told you about, aware of the fact that it’d be suspicious for the two of you to pop inside out of nowhere.

The whole thing of you coming in and out unannounced never gets old for Taehyung, and although he’d never say that your teleporting jig excites him whenever you bring him around, he merely mumbles his thanks before walking ahead of you.

The store carries a barrage of art supplies and despite the volume of how much there it is, you’re more amazed at the fact that it’s all fit into the quaint and small place. Out of the whole block, the store Tae urged you into is the one that’s not well-lit nor flashy. It’s the only space one could walk past without straining their eyes and it could be easily missed, but with the way that the inside of it feels warm, you know why Taehyung comes here often.

He’s already preoccupied by the time you approach his vicinity, his fingers plucking tubes of paint from the lived-in shelves and making quick work of putting them underneath an exposed lightbulb to confirm the color. You watch him work by himself until the pile he has on his hands is steadily getting full.

“Do you paint?”

“Do you ever shut up?” he mumbles under his breath but it takes on a rather playful tone, making you smile in the process.

“Sorry,” you whisper, playing along as you peer into his hands. “What are you gonna paint?”

Taehyung’s brows knit in concentration as he looks for a specific brush from the bunch he sees in a basket, mouth parting in focus that he spews whatever comes first in his mind to make conversation with you.

“A fallen angel,” he whispers in a faux spirit of secrecy, giggling at his own attempt of banter. His eyebrows wiggle in mischief as he jokes, finally finding the thin brush that he was looking for. He hums in contentment to himself but it strikes him that there’s no reply from you when normally you would’ve been way more talkative, but he brushes past the impending suggestion of his conscience that he might be falling guilty. “Yikes, did I hit a nerve?”

Taehyung has never been good at small talk.

He knows he’s being facetious when he continues just so it wouldn’t seem like he’s starting to get nervous of why you’ve become speechless all of a sudden, willing his gaze to seem steady.

He may be quite mean sometimes, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a conscience.

“What happens to you if you fall?”

Your eyes unfocus at the sudden turn of conversation, your mouth drying at the upfront question. “I-…”

“I’m not interested.”

Taehyung goes back to giggling, turning his back on you as he pays for his items in cash, sneaking in a sigh of relief throughout his chuckles because he’s just barely managed to escape the impending guilt of his own words.

The atmosphere should already be back to normal which is why he doesn’t hesitate on walking right next to you closer than he normally would, handing you the bag of his newly-purchased supplies. “Carry these for me.”

You take his load without a word, carrying it without complaint to distract yourself because for a moment, you genuinely thought that Taehyung was watching his words and felt guilty belatedly, making him speak to you more than what you were accustomed to.

“See? When you talk less and only come around when I need you to, we could get along.”

You don’t know what to feel when he laughs sweetly before patting you on the head, taking the long way home with you by actually walking back.

“There’s a good angel.”

( ♡ )

In your fourth month with Taehyung, you ask him if you could have a visitor over.

In all fairness, your friend had only given you a heads-up just now that he would be visiting tomorrow, making you panic inwardly because you know more than anyone that meeting him here on earth is much more complicated than it is anywhere else.

You will the entirety of your shame to dissipate when you ask Taehyung, your gaze flicking to everywhere else but him which is a first. You hated inconveniencing others for your own sake but this time you choke down what little pride you had, devoid of any other choice besides being indebted to Taehyung for a day.

“You’re a visitor in my home and you’re asking me if you could have one?”

He’s not necessarily mad that you’re inviting someone else to his home. If he wants to put it lightly, he’s surprised you’ve even built up the courage to ask him, partially curious on why you’d go through this limbo in the first place.

Namjoon elbows Taehyung to signal him that maybe a little kindness won’t hurt. He’s particularly grew fond of you because with you around, his job’s significantly become less stressful, more lenient, and actually happier. Surely, granting you to have a visitor (even if it isn’t his house you’re talking about) wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

Right?

“You’re right, I’m sorry. It’s just that he’s banned from most places and-“

“Fuck it. Fine. Who’s your visitor?”

The both of you speak at the same time and your eyes widen at him granting your request even if it was only nudged (more like elbowed) out of him, the smile immediately reaching your eyes.

Namjoon is the only one who catches your words, eyes nervously flicking around as he squeaks to himself. “Whatdoyoumeanbannedfrommostplaces?!”

Neither of you pay attention to him because Taehyung only waits for your answer, snapping you out of your reverie to answer who’s coming over.

“Jungkook.”

He takes one, two seconds to process what you’ve just said, question marks floating above his head that it finally prompts you to expand further sensing the confusion in his face.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“You expect me to know who Jeon Jungkook is?” Taehyung pinches his nosebridge at how you automatically assume he knows everyone whom you mention, the amusement behind it hitting him suddenly that he covers his mouth with his hand to pretend to be annoyed. “Whatever, just have him over and don’t ruin a single thing in my house.”

He goes up the stairs before his own giggles escape his lips, leaving you alone with a half-terrified, half-curious Namjoon.

“Is this Jungkook an angel?” he asks in a whisper, his thoughts flying faster than how his hands drum against his thigh because he can’t deny his trepidation.

The way your pupils flicker makes Namjoon nervous because normally you’re never unsure, a sound of pure shock emitting from his throat. “O-oh! He’s an angel… somewhat.”

Your vague answer had already reached Taehyung before the day even ended, pleasantly oblivious to the way he spends the night thinking on who exactly is your visitor and why the hell did he agree.

Nobody expected Jungkook to look this intimidating.

He’s intimidating both in his built and aura, the edge of charisma that he oozes feeling so unattainable that it puts both men in slight unease. They most certainly did not peg for the two of you to be friends (or even be acquainted in the first place) because you look gravely mismatched.

Jungkook looks around Taehyung’s house with a critical gaze and pursed lips, walking slowly with his arms across his chest that everybody looks at him.

Namjoon doesn’t know whether he should be wary with the way he’s acting or if he should ask for tips on how to make the entire room scared of him.

Taehyung surely knows that he feels offended with the way your visitor looks around, feeling threatened even if he doesn’t admit it out loud because only he should be able to walk around like this looking as if he’s in disgust, not this random guy.

“Eh. You could do better.”

Jungkook says to no one in particular and Taehyung scoffs under his breath, the snappy remark getting stuck in his throat the moment you respond to his loaded statement.

“This guy’s already assigned to me, I can’t do anything about it.”

“This guy?!” Taehyung mutters under his breath in disbelief on how you’re suddenly dragging him, eyes widening as he trails on your heels in anger until Namjoon drags him back, the latter wanting to watch from afar in doubled curiosity.

Jungkook comes up every now and then to ease himself from boredom, knowing that his visits to earth would be more entertaining now that you’re here. You’re easily an entertaining and calming being to be around with, knowing that you’re easily up there on the list of people he wouldn’t throw into a fire pit no matter what.

“I can do something about it,” he rasps his voice intentionally, a terrifying tingle run down the spines of both guys, but only Namjoon would have a fourth of his dignity to admit that his heart practically dropped down to his ass.

Jungkook plays around a lot and you laugh at his light-hearted joke, even if you wouldn’t put it past him that he’d actually take it into seriousness.

You thought that they (read: Taehyung) would leave you alone because just yesterday, not one bit of intrigue or excitement was expressed and yet here he is, desperately trailing behind you to even sit at the same table that you and Jungkook were sat on.

Scooby’s perched at your shoulder, eating from your palm. The bird placed on you is stupidly large and just too blue, his eyes apart that the whole caricature of him looks funny — it’s easily one of the most entertaining sights Jungkook’s ever seen in his lifetime.

“What a stupid bird.” Taehyung sighs, looking at Scooby who’s never been this clingy with him before.

“Stupid bird,” Jungkook snickers under his breath once he hears Taehyung utter them, thoroughly making sense. “He looks so funky,” he whispers to your ear, chuckling in absolute amusement.

Jungkook takes your hand away so it would be out of Scooby’s reach, but before he knows it, his wrist is slapped by a glaring Taehyung.

“That’s his food. Don’t play with it.”

The whole world seems to still with how neither one of you moves an inch. You could literally feel Jungkook grow warmer beside you that you have to put your hand on his thigh to calm him down.

“You’re messing with the literal devil, Taehyung,” you glare, scratching at your temple.

“Jungkook’s the devil?!” Namjoon whisper-yells from a distance, his hands flailing wildly before he takes his head into them.

“He was messing with his food!” Taehyung reasons to you but it falls on deaf ears, your eyes straight-out pleading to just cut it out and apologize.

“I was just poking at your stupid bird’s food!”

“Don’t talk about him that way.“

Taehyung may have called Scooby stupid just seconds ago, but that doesn’t mean anyone else could call his bird stupid.

“You literally-“

“Shut up.”

Taehyung seems keen in digging a deeper grave for himself, making you resort into calling him by his full name harshly, gaining his attention irritatedly.

“Jungkook can be even meaner than you are, Tae,” you grit through your teeth, “so please stop and just let him call Scooby stupid for once.”

“Hear that? I’m the meanest,” your friend backs up, smugly crossing his arms as he takes your words as a compliment.

“Oh please, I could be the devil if I wanted to,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “I’m so mean that I could make Y/N cry right now.”

Before he could even process it, Jungkook smacks the back of Taehyung’s head so hard that he’s certain his brain shook for a second.

“I’ll make another circle of hell just for you.”

“I’m touched.”

“You wouldn’t be once-“

“Jungkook, look! Scooby’s being stupid again!” you exclaim as you convince the bird to bow politely, hoping it’d be enough to catch your friend’s short attention span.

His eyes return back to normal, an innocent hearty laugh leaving him as he looks at the ridiculously stupid bird you have on your shoulder.

“He looks so funky.”

( ♡ )

In your fifth month with Taehyung, you walk on him being the most peaceful he’s ever been.

His study’s been flipped upside down besides the one corner that he stands on, the one area devoid of clutter even if it’s where he does all his work in the canvas.

Pictures are stuck everywhere that serve as a semblance of inspiration for Taehyung, the multitude of trivial photographs and highlighted pages of poetry taking shape into familiarity.

Rarely do you linger around him when he’s at home and you know he’s safe, especially when he’s in his study, but you couldn’t help visiting considering he’s not once left the room for hours.

You know you’re being nosy when you look around the room, eyes landing on what seems to be a pamphlet.

“I know what you’re already thinking,” Taehyung hums, the first one to speak to you ever since you came into his space. He could sense from a mile away your urge of wanting to ease his burden, but this time he beats you to it first. “Don’t help me on this one.”

“You don’t need my help.”

You sincerely answer, making him raise his head in wonder. Rarely do you agree on things that concern both him and your purpose but this is a moment that you’ve come to cherish, no matter how brief.

“You’re already the best at this than whatever help I could offer.”

Taehyung thinks you’re sweet.

“Thanks,” he gently says, going back to what he was doing.

He doesn’t kick you out this time, not uttering a single word as he allows you to linger. You find it weird that he’s not in a hurry to shoo you out but you’re accustomed to it. You let yourself linger for just a few minutes while you watch in silence, shutting your door on the way out.

Maybe you’re not so bad to have around after all.

( ♡ )

Jimin thinks that if there’s hell in heaven, he’d be the first angel to occupy it.

“Seokjin.”

He addresses the older guy in front of him curtly, trying not to think how the both of them are wearing the same cream sweater unintentionally and how it irks him starting from the back of his neck, taking two deep breaths in reminder to never wear this sweater again.

“Ah ah ah, you’re reporting to me right now,” he tuts at Jimin, believing that if he squints his eyes just enough, he’d be able to glaze over the fact that wearing the same sweater as someone in the same room is downright embarrassing. “It’s Mr. Kim Seokjin.”

Additionally, Jimin thinks that if hell were to cram itself into a single structure, it would definitely manifest into the HR Headquarters. Of course in fitting fashion, in order for an individual to get into hell, they’d have to wait a minimum of a millennia to even step into the building.

“Of course,” he smiles with his teeth visible, putting his hands across his back. He bows his head slightly to Jin who’s sat on a chair across his standing figure. “I meant Seokjin, here’s the brief on Y/N’s time on earth.”

Ah, they’re just getting started.

Jimin starts his presentation but not even a minute into it that he gets interrupted, even if he hadn’t opened the floor for inquiries.

“How many months has she been with her human?”

“Six. If you may please look at the screen, you can see how that’s already stated.”

Jimin motions rigidly, his tone overly-polite that it sounded borderline threatening. He points to the presentation that he’s crammed on doing last night, having done it from scratch because there’s no ready-made templates so he made-do with the color scheme he found at a brownie mix packaging and a bunch of your pictures that he had to edit into the slides.

Did he need to impress Seokjin? Not really. Did he feel the urge to impress Seokjin in order to spite him because for some reason, they’ve just been bickering for the past decade over god knows what? Yes.

“Technically, Y/N and Taehyung are doing well,” Jimin starts off but even he sounds uncertain, earning a hum from Jin who doesn’t so convinced either.

“Non-technically, Y/N and Taehyung are not doing well.”

Jimin switches to the next slide of a picture he took of you crying as you both drank coffee atop a mountain on a whim. You were distinctly crying for two reasons: a) because you could finally confide to your mentor and you’re transitioning from mentor-mentee into friends, and b) because the night prior to your impromptu coffee date, Taehyung had told you to get lost quite strongly.

“Y/N had been given residence in his home and provided with everything she needs out of formality. Taehyung’s never been harmed with her around, and the statistics show that she’s a lot more effective than his existing bodyguard.”

Jin nods in understanding, although he can’t exactly tell where’s the part that tells you and your human aren’t doing well.

“The problem is that Taehyung hates her.”

“But he keeps her around…?” he furrows his brows in confusion because there’s absolutely no obligation in holding onto something you hate, the option of letting go purely being uninfluenced.

“I know — and that’s even worse. Y/N doesn’t want to abandon her post either because she loves Taehyung too much.”

Jin’s ears perk up at the l-word and as much as his gaze inquires, Jimin already opens up in a shy mumble of how he could be so ambitious of narrating. “Look, she’s my friend too, okay? I could tell what she feels.”

Meetings like these were necessary and happened every six months but bias aside, Jimin’s not too confident that there’d be a second meeting.

Jin’s not as close with you compared to how Jimin and Jungkook are, but he recalls having a few laughs with you every now and then. He’s well-ware that the department he works in is notorious for being extremely slow and occasionally bitchy, but in the numerous times that he’s seen you in line at the HR, you always throw him a smile.

He asks off-handedly and vaguely but the both of them know what he’s pertaining to anyway, both of their heads down in thought.

“Do you think it’s gonna happen?”

“I can’t necessarily predict,” Jimin admits, playing with the rings on his fingers. “But I’m just saying that it’s not impossible for Taehyung to do it.”

“I hope Y/N doesn’t get hurt,” Jin purses his lips in genuine concern, knowing that if he had to pick someone who he’d protect from falling, it would be you.

The silence that engulfs them is calm yet heavy, their lack of bickering remaining absent at the possibility that both their minds go to; your life at stake.

“I haven’t prayed in a long time,” Jimin looks down on his feet, a weighted sigh leaving his lips that sounds defeated by all accounts, “but for Y/N, I will.”

( ♡ )

In your seventh month with Taehyung, someone attempts to hurt him.

It’s already a given that with you around, Taehyung’s infinitely more guarded compared to only having Namjoon in tow. “He feels safer with you around,” the bodyguard says to you out of the blue when the two of you wait for him to finish getting ready.

He says it like someone had asked him what the time was and as casual as it seems, it means the absolute world to you. You’ve already known initially that Taehyung isn’t the most expressive human alive, showing his appreciation in whichever ways he deems appropriate.

He’s as expressive as he’s impulsive. Namjoon had bought him a burger one time because the food they were serving at a party happened to be everything Taehyung was allergic to, and by the next day, the bodyguard wakes up to a watchbox placed in front of his door.

He’s as soft as he’s vibrant. You’ve only had a few opportunities to see your human interact with his mother, but every time you catch sight of them, Tae almost always has his hand on her arm to keep her close to him.

Taehyung’s unpredictable, that much you find about him today.

You and Namjoon flank him at both sides at all times in public. The two of you aren’t his only security detail because he’s always had a hoarde of guards following him for big events (as per instruction by his mom), but two of you are the closest.

Things like these are already mundane for him no matter how extravagant they could be. He was due to make an appearance at an evening gala that accumulated a record-worthy number of sponsors — it’s just a Thursday for him.

Taehyung’s so used to these things that he doesn’t even hesitate to walk straight without batting an eyelash, his tunnel vision only going straight ahead to tune out the crowd forming around him. His attention’s only on himself that he fails to see the rising commotion. Not even ten steps into the venue, in a mix of people crowding him, someone at one point brought out a knife.

It happened too quick that the attempt was only belatedly registered the moment you intervened. You take the assailant by yourself whereas Namjoon took charge of removing Taehyung from the venue entirely, the other security details equally as jolted by the crowd that they all pile onto Taehyung, barely a silhouette now that he’s shrouded while walking away.

It was a frenzy that cancelled the gala altogether but none of it mattered because as Taehyung made headlines for having been attempted on, you bleed.

It’s a mystery to you on how the unfamiliar shade of red comes from your own skin. How did this even happen? All that you remember doing in the short span of seconds is you throwing his figure to the wall, a sight that ignited the commotion more. You do remember the pathetic excuse of a knife, dull and rusty, barely lodging into your side as the stranger yielded it blindly. What you don’t remember at all is the pain that comes with it, only a dull thrum of the hurt you aren’t used to.

You’re bleeding but none of it matters because it isn’t Taehyung who’s going through this pain — it’s you.

“You’re not supposed to be hurt,” Taehyung could only stare at your exposed skin, eyes nervously flitting to Namjoon’s hands every now and then to see if he’s hurting you. “Why are you bleeding then?”

No one’s ever tried to harm him this way nor has Namjoon ever been hurt to this extent.

Taehyung was panicked to realize that as soon as he was jammed back into his car, you’re the only one who’s been separated. Not one of his guards came to aid into you and it angers him beyond comprehension.

"You never bleed."

The realization sinks into him that not once have you bled the entire time you’ve been with him. No paper cuts, not even a single scratch from Scooby’s sharp claws whenever he perches on you. Not once did he see you hurt and it makes his stomach sink when he sees your eyes screw tightly, that even without a single sound, he could tell that you’re hurting.

“No, no. You're not supposed to,” he breathlessly laughs but there’s no humor in it whatsoever, his eyes pricking all of a sudden.

"Has this ever happened to you before?"

Namjoon’s hands tremble while he patches you up but from the severity of Taehyung’s question, even he stops in his actions. He doesn’t know what to hear but the moment you reply in a daze, he knows that it’s not the answer he wanted.

"No."

Taehyung notices the way the liveliness drain from your face, your suddenly quiet demeanor giving into his conclusion that you clearly knowing something about what’s happening to you.

"What does this mean?"

"Nothing," you answer a little too quickly, rolling your eyes as you nudge Namjoon to wrap up quickly. "It means angels can bleed too."

The only angel Taehyung knows is you; he knows almost nothing about them to begin with, but what he does know that you, out of all the people he knows within this earth and not, don’t deserve the pain that is meant for him.

"Do something about yourself," he mumbles, hanging his head down to try and soothe the vertigo he gets from seeing you hurt. "Go to a hospital. Call Jimin."

“Do whatever you need to do to make yourself better,” he says in his head, his eyes no longer being able to meet you.

You don’t know why he’s throwing such a big fuss that his bodyguard had already managed to fix. The pain is nothing to you but a dull ache and you’ve been hurt more than a mere graze could.

You don’t know why you grow angry at your human at his sudden display of concern for you, making you clench your jaw because you want him to stop worrying for himself instead — you aren’t worthy of his concern.

"Let go of it already, Taehyung."

"How am I supposed to let it go when my guardian angel's bleeding? How are you-" he snaps, making him hiss in realization that he’s raising his voice at you. “How are you supposed to protect me this way?"

Taehyung rarely asks you questions but among the handful he’s inquired, this was the most trivial, nonsensical, and pathetic question you’ve ever heard.

"I'll protect you even if I bleed."

( ♡ )

In your eighth month with Taehyung, he asks you a question out of nowhere.

"Why haven’t I ever seen your wings before?"

Taehyung’s attitude changed ever since you’ve bled.

When the incident had happened, you took the initiative in distancing yourself from him, barely just enough for you to protect him still. You would go through your motions of the day by accompanying him wherever and relieving any pain he’d feel, but you no longer lingered around him.

Whenever Taehyung ate out, you’d drag a fork against his meal and bring it up for you to smell if there was anything, and then could he eat. You’d do it still, but Taehyung would wait for a beat for you to play around and blow his food for him; sometimes intentionally eating slower to see if you’d put food from your plate into his.

He’s used to you having one hand on his elbow with the other arm outstretched when walking through a crowd, but what he looks for nowadays is your cold hand on his skin, having to steal another glance at you when he walks without your guidance.

He still bothers you occasionally at night to take him somewhere since Namjoon wouldn’t allow him, and you oblige wordlessly. Sometimes he makes you take him to places he doesn’t even want to (sometimes borderline sketchy) for the sake of testing out whether you’d make conversation with him if it’s only the two of you, but you don’t.

When you bled, you know what it meant. It wasn’t a definitive conclusion but you know that somewhere along the way, you’ve grown vulnerable. You’re not above pain anymore because you’ve shot underneath its threshold.

It’s said that when an angel bleeds, they’re nearing the worst point of pain in their lifetime.

"You can't see them?

You ask curiously to Taehyung who came out to join you in the patio by his own accord, his hands meekly tucked into his pockets. He nods no and you get what he’s pointing to, understandable that angels are known by their feathered appendages.

"Normally, you should see them whenever I have them out."

"Do you have them out right now?" his eyebrows furrow, tilting his head to gaze at the back of your shirt. He’s nervous to know if you’ve had them out the whole time and all along, he’s the only who couldn’t see them.

You chuckle at the panic on his face, sincerely answering. “No."

A silence that comes from you is a silence that always puts Taehyung at unease. He’s grown accustomed to your bubbliness that he no longer treats your words as white noise, learning to listen to you actively than in passing.

"When was the last time you had them out?"

“When I needed to prove myself to Namjoon.”

Eight months had passed by so quickly yet at the first six, it felt like an eternity to Taehyung. Lately, time had been passing for him too fast in the blink of an eye that he gets nervous whenever the night comes, the feeling of unease rising in his stomach for reasons he didn’t even know of.

“Describe what your wings look like, I'll try to picture it in my head."

The request, or rather the implication that he wanted to know what you look like flies over your head. Your wings are your own for formality’s sake ,but not once did you feather them out to look at them as an extension of yourself.

Your wings aren’t pretty.

Jimin’s wings are perhaps the prettiest pair that you’ve ever seen, the gentle hues yet the overwhelmingly beautiful structure of them being so fitting for himself that you can’t imagine them belonging to anyone else. You’ve seen a handful of wings in your lifetime — including Jungkook’s that are elegant and sophisticated in their own way.

The realization dawns on you that Taehyung’s asking to see a part of you that you don’t want to, and knowing him, perhaps the sheer underwhelm your wings bring is what would set him away further from you.

"Maybe some other time, Taehyung."

"But I want to-"

This time it’s you who leaves him, not sparing a single glance back at him.

"Some other time."

( ♡ )

In your ninth month with Taehyung, you learn that he has a girlfriend.

Crossing his heart, Namjoon promises you that Taehyung and Hyori are a fairly new couple. He knew her when he was just starting out as his bodyguard, pinning her to be a family friend. She’s a constant face in all the socialite functions that Taehyung’s been attending for as long as he can remember. And if you can remember correctly, you’ve already seen her numerous times.

In fact, you only learned of their relationship accidentally. They’ve fucked several times through the years (the bodyguard confirms) but it was only two weeks ago that they decided to try out an actual relationship. Namjoon swears up and down that he was meant to let you in on the secret this week, but you beat him to it when you knock on Taehyung’s study to see a woman slung around him.

Hyori looks like someone who’s been shaped by the gods themselves and you’d be the first angel to admit it. She could easily pass for divinity, and just by her looks, you wouldn’t blame Taehyung for falling for her.

But Hyori makes you uncomplacent.

She smiles charmingly but there’s just something about her that makes your skin crawl. Your hands are cold because you have the warmest heart but god does her warmth bother you to no end, making you hold your own breath around her.

There’s something about her that reminds you of bleeding even if the only thing she’s done is hug you politely, even her sweet scent reminding you of the metallic taste of red.

"I don't feel good about her, Tae."

Taehyung could only sigh at your paranoia, rolling his eyes at you because he’s in too much of a high to pay attention to your worries.

"Well isn't it a relief that what you feel about her has no significance nor bearing to me?"

( ♡ )

In your tenth month with Taehyung, you confide in Jungkook.

“I feel like she’s a devil. Like a literal devil.”

He came over again but this time with no prior notice. He was growing bored down under but despite his abrupt appearance, Taehyung couldn’t care less, already preoccupied with entertaining Hyori.

Jungkook follows your gaze as he pets Scooby on his shoulder, tilting his head in inspection before answering.

“Nah. Not one of us.”

Your friend denies your suspicions and oddly enough, this is the only time that you’ve been unsettled for someone not being a devil. Hyori is a force to be reckoned with, and a human at that, that frustrates you all the more because she just has to be the ultimate at everything.

“Not one of us! Not one of us!”

Jungkook immediately laughs at Scooby’s repetition, letting him preen on his ear piercings. “Smart bird! You’re not stupid anymore, are you?”

“It’s okay, it’s okay!”

He furrows his brows at the sudden change of words, realizing that Scooby isn’t looking at him anymore but to you instead, leading his gaze right to your blank one.

Jungkook could recognize that look anywhere, smiling to himself as he pats the back of your head.

“You’re jealous?” he tries asking, earning an offended scoff that just confirmed his assumption. “Looks like someone’s in love.”

“Give it a rest,” you sigh tiredly, stirring the coffee that Namjoon gave both to you and Jungkook with his hands trembling. He’s still certainly not used to Jungkook and how he did a party trick of rolling his eyes back to his skull just to tease the bodyguard. You feel tempted to ask Jungkook to put a tiny dancing flame on your palm, just for the sake of distracting yourself. “This isn’t my first time falling in love.”

“Trust me, I do know that,” he wiggles his brows and you know that you wouldn’t hear the end of it, “you haven’t given your first love a call these days?”

“Shut up.”

Your first love wasn’t a sensitive issue — in fact, you love talking about him because there’s nothing inherently bad about how you ended that you refuse to do so. You’d entertain his mention any other day besides now, because you know that Jungkook likes comparisons and consequently, getting into your head.

He doesn’t rasp his voice intentionally, only lowering it into a whisper but it only turns worse with what he says.

“If you ask me, Taehyung isn’t even half of who Yoongi is.”

“That’s because you’re his friend.”

Yoongi and Jungkook are the closest pair of friends you’ve ever met, so much so to the point that during the times you and Yoongi were still together, Jungkook would tag around in dates and even insist on sleeping between the two of you whenever you napped.

You knew Jungkook through Yoongi and despite being broken up with your first love, you don’t regret anything and anyone you’ve ever known through him.

Jungkook was never one to make his worries known but in the rare times that he did, one of it was of you and his closest friend breaking up. You remember him begging and praying that nothing changes between his dynamic with either of you, and it was safe to say that nothing did.

“Hey, I don’t just befriend any angel, y’know?” he’s not trying to get into your head this time around. He knows about his bias but he doesn’t you to take it lightly, deciding to spread all the cards out on the table first.

“If you ask me-“

“I’m not asking.”

“Don’t put all your harvests into one basket,” he blurts, tapping his fingers onto the table to get you to focus.

“Why?” your eyes squint at the analogy, unaware of how another made-up saying could possibly relate to you.

“Because that’s greed,” he cheekily smiles, dropping it immediately when he sees you aren’t joking around. “Fine, seven deadly sins aside, what I’m saying is,” he clears his throat, putting aside his desperation.

Sometimes, you think that it’s Jungkook in this universe that wants you to get back with Yoongi the most.

“Would you really rather give all your love to a human who doesn’t give it back, or would you rather take a few of your love instead and give it to someone who would?”

“Jungkook.”

He frowns at your stern tone, crossing his arms as he purses his lips.

“You’re falling and we both know it.”

Jungkook sees right through you and it’s something you can’t avoid, finding no use in even sheltering your gaze from his eyes that seem full of pity.

“Trust me, baby,” he sighs, pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “It’s the only pain you can’t protect yourself from.”

( ♡ )

In your eleventh month with Taehyung, Hyori breaks up with him.

The two of them were going exceptionally well, almost to the point that she was over almost everyday in his study doing whatever they pleased.

The two of them went along perfectly which is why you couldn’t think of any tangible reason of why would they break up, immediately going to Taehyung to try and ease the pain in his heart you’re sure he must be feeling.

The moment you opened the door to the patio is the exact second that his head turns to you, instantly standing up from his seat and charging towards you that it made you back up into the living room altogether.

Taehyung’s mad, angrily crying with his finger pointed at you.

"She broke up with me because she thought you were my girlfriend!”

Your mouth dries at his words, pupils unfocusing at what he was insinuating. You’ve never done anything to come between them and in fact, you made a point in avoiding them whenever they were together. In reality, you even went against your judgement of trying to protect Taehyung because there was something about Hyori you can’t decipher, instead leaving them alone so he’d be pleased.

“But I didn’t-“ But I didn’t do anything.

Anything you do is what seems to set off Taehyung further, walking past you in a rage he couldn’t contain.

"Oh my god! Just disappear, won’t you?! I wouldn’t mind."

( ♡ )

AN OPEN LETTER TO KIM TAEHYUNG: Don’t do art. Stick to being a rich douchebag.

The headline on your phone glares at you.

Today was meant to be a special day, really. Jimin had taken the initiative to take care of the little celebration he and Seokjin had in mind because after all, today was your one year with Taehyung.

The two of them had put aside their banter for several weeks and came together to throw you a tiny shower of happiness that you deserve for all that you’ve endured. They planned their little speeches upon seeing you all until the filling of the cake they were going to surprise you with.

And then the omen came.

The rain was pouring even if they asked headquarters repeatedly if it would and they said no, since most of the activities of the day they planned revolved around sunshine.

Then they ignored the omen.

The moment morning rolls around and your eyes open, you see Jimin and Seokjin by the end of your bed, their smiles too big for your own good. Their energy was purely innocent and happy that you can’t help but mirror them, awed that they even remember what today was for.

The minute you go downstairs to introduce them to Taehyung — no one could be found downstairs, not even Namjoon who wakes up the earliest.

7:01

he didn’t tell you???

i thought you knew

we’re setting up for his exhibit

7:17

i forgot what today was im sorry :(

happy one year!

just come here!! tae’s in a good mood anyway

You’ve spent the day with Jimin and Seokjin instead even if they insisted that they wouldn’t mind at all if you join Taehyung instead, their conscience for you overpowering them to see you bummed.

It shouldn’t come a surprise to you at all that out of the two of you, you’re the only one who remembers the significance of your meeting a year ago. A year is nothing to your concept of time but it’s a year that you’ve lived and loved the most — it’s the same year that has passed and no matter how accomplished you feel, it’s on your end.

You don’t blame Taehyung for his indifference because nothing on your manual told you that he needed to change for you; it wasn’t a give or take relationship, per se. Your existence isn’t rooted on reciprocity but rather selflessness, your own destiny revolving around keeping a human safe.

It’s your day that’s supposed to be celebrated the most but in actuality, it’s the day you’d never forget because of how much you hate it.

The day hasn’t ended and you hate it the most with the way it’s been a year and still, in your own pathetic way, you’re the one who ends up relying on your human instead of the other way around.

Taehyung barely needs you and what you hate the most about it is how much you’ve endured throughout, even if he had told you time and time again that he wants nothing to do with you.

You would never receive the love you give and it drains you endlessly.

The commitment you had a year ago is tainted with the way that from this day alone, you’ve realized much more than you could ever have for the past three hundred and sixty-four.

Taehyung’s opening show was a disaster.

The exhibit itself wasn’t even publicized, his real name not even being used for the registration in the first place. Only his mother and Namjoon knew about him being a part of this exhibit; he was happy. He was on a high the whole night because as he lingered, dressed nothing like how he normally would with his face covered with a mask, people loved his craft.

People loved something of his that didn’t have his face nor name in it and it’s the sight that made him feel the most recognized he had been in a while. Namjoon had kept calling him over while pointing at his phone but Taehyung just laughs, mistaking his frantic actions for praise.

It’s only until Namjoon had forcibly plucked him outside of the gallery and shoved him into the front seat that Taehyung realizes what he was getting at, the bright screen of his bodyguard’s phone illuminating the dim interior of the car.

AN OPEN LETTER TO KIM TAEHYUNG: Don’t do art. Stick to being a rich douchebag.

His stomach churns at what he reads, trying to will his eyes into looking away but he just can’t stop scrolling, the lump in his throat growing by the second to the point it gets harder to breathe.

There’s pictures of him in his study, canvas upon canvas displayed the more he scrolls. Some where he’s holding the brush while looking at his work in passing, some where his face is seen while he looks at the camera, some actually videos of him painting and some of him shirtless while walking around his study.

Everything in the article is unmistakably him — there’s no way around it.

The article’s penned anonymously but he puts a name to each piece of media he’s ever seen, the urge to throw up rising from his throat.

Hyori.

Taehyung’s sick to his stomach just by thinking how evil the woman had been and how dumb he was for not questioning his intentions once. The high he felt just minutes ago feels like a fever dream in the new low that he drowns from, crying violently in the backseat while Namjoon drives ahead.

He’d been so blind and trusting that he gets angry at himself, pounding his head weakly because his thoughts are louder than what he could manage, humming to himself in a desperate attempt.

Taehyung refuses to even go inside his room, much less the house, because in every which way he goes, he’d pass by his study and he’d feel like imploding.

He lets himself become drenched in the patio because it hasn’t stopped raining and it’s the only sound loud enough to overpower his mind, heaving under the heavy droplets.

His thoughts only stop the minute the rain stops falling down on him on a circle, even if it continues pouring on everywhere else besides him.

Taehyung needs you.

The firs thing he does when he feels you sit next to him is embrace you, loud sobs wracking his ribs that it feels like he has no bones by the way he slacks over your figure, his heart hurting the heaviest.

“Please take the pain away.”

Taehyung pleads to you and you squeeze him tightly, carrying the pain he felt. You would’ve taken the burden out of his heart even if he didn’t ask you to. You keep taking the pain away from him and for a second, you felt you could no longer bear it with how substantial it is, but you don’t stop.

You don’t stop taking your human’s pain away until you feel him relax into your hold, a sigh of relief being released in solitude, resisting your own urge from whimpering outloud.

You realize that even if you’re the highest in the room, you’d never stop needing Taehyung and it would be your downfall.

Taehyung needs you in rainy days when his heart feels the heaviest.

Unlike you, Taehyung doesn’t need you when the snow is falling and everything set into place by the universe is content in their positions.

He doesn’t yearn for you when he isn’t hurt and put into inconveniences that only you could solve for him.

He doesn’t look for you when the sky above is heavy and the earth beneath is cold, because he has you to keep the universe in balance for him at all times.

Taehyung only wants you around when he needs you.

Your human’s relaxed to the point that he just gives in to his fatigue, his head laid on your shoulder with his eyes blinking slowly, ready to sleep at the next gust of wind that would lull him into a dream.

You look at him for what you think is the last time, thumb pressing into his cheek that it makes him open his eyes wider.

You kiss him.

You hold Taehyung by his face and kiss him fully for only a second too long, pulling away even before you run out of breath.

Taehyung isn’t shocked, but his eyes only blink lazily, a small smile on his lips as he shakes his head.

"Don't kiss me,” the small smile is still on his face and his voice is the most gentle you’ve ever heard. "You're kissing me because I'm sad.."

"I'm not,” you chuckle, pleasantly surprised at the way he isn’t flipping out at all. His head’s back to being perched on your shoulder, looking into the city below him while you continue. "I really just wanted to kiss you."

Neither of you are mad at each other. Whatever you’ve felt today before you saw each other remains only to yourself, the weight of each being relieved because it’s you who carries them both.

A year has already passed and this is only the first time that Taehyung lets you in completely, and the fault of it all is something you cannot trace. You don’t live as humans do but this is the most alive you have ever felt in your lifetime, feeling the need to explain why you’ve kissed him out of the blue.

“I kissed you because loving you is all I know."

Taehyung’s laugh erupts from his chest and it’s the warmest sound you’ve ever heard, the syrup of it spreading to your hands as this is the only time you’ve felt them to be warm.

"Then unlearn it, silly.”

His voice isn’t raised — it’s just calm. His features aren’t laced with anger and his eyes are calm without malice. Taehyung talks to you about your confession as if he’s talking about the weather, taking it casually and in a stride.

“You remind me of a stray cat, y’know?” he hums, patting your thigh. “I feed you once and you keep coming back to me.”

His head is turned away from you and he wants to keep it that way. His heart may be light but the only concern he’s been carrying the past year is the final weight that he wants to get rid of.

"I don't want you to be my guardian angel anymore."

The words don’t hurt you in the same way you thought they initially would, but you know the pain would settle in your bones sooner or later.

"Say that one more time."

Taehyung doesn’t know why you’re not going on your knees to make him take his words back but he figures that you’re just indulging him like you always do, complying obediently.

"I revoke you."

He connects all his misfortunes in his life, especially from the past year, directly to you and your involvement with him.

"One more."

You hum, patting his head for what seems to be the last time. Jimin and Seokjin stand from a distance unseen, but you refuse to look at them when you know you’d crumble immediately.

"I repulse you."

Taehyung wakes up to one less heartbeat in his house.

The moment he comes down the stairs and calls out to no one in particular, but no one (read: you) greets him, even if he could clearly see Namjoon’s figure standing by the middle of the living room —

You’re not there anymore.

The moment he comes down the stairs, he’s hit by the familiarity that this is exactly his house before you came along.

There should be houseplants hanging from the ceiling at the corner of the room but they’re nowhere to be found, not even a single trace of the holes the screws left behind.

There should be multiple ribbons tied to Scooby’s cage because you’ve once told them that it would serve as his room decor, but not one strand of the fabric could be seen on his cage.

There should be a quilt at your bed and a picture of him on your nightstand but they’re nowhere to be seen because the room that they open the door to, is the same room the house had before you moved in — an empty one.

“No, no, this can’t be happening,” Taehyung repeats under his breath, his breathing picking up at the lack of you and why there’s nothing in his home that suggests you were here.

He opens his phone and demands Namjoon for his but none of the pictures have you in it, the blank space in the middle of when the three of you would go out for walks staring right at Taehyung.

The tears prick at his eyes because even if he remembers what you look like, there’s nothing he owns that would make him see you.

“Ask the clouds to remember,” you’ve told him in passing. He wasn’t actively listening to you at the time but it appears in his head from the numerous times he’s racked it for any sign of you.

The sinking feeling he has on his chest weighs him down but he remains rooted, knowing that maybe if he gets hurt just enough, you would come to his side and relieve him of his pain.

"Not my Y/N, please. Please,” he prays to no one in particular, eyes screw shut while the skies remain gray. "I'm your human, remember?"

No one answers him and it’s a silence that makes his mind the noisiest, the overwhelming feeling of hurt raising to his throat that he looks around in paranoia, seeing if you were just playing tricks with him.

"You can't leave me — n-no, no! Not this way."

Taehyung thinks he’s seeing things because he sees shadows of you that he can’t reach out for, a whine bubbling at his throat when he looks at the sky. “Give me back my angel, please,” he asks endlessly, staring into the sky that floats above him.

He stares into the sky long enough that it makes him see white hot pain, but it doesn’t matter to him because his own hurt doesn’t bring you back.

Taehyung anticipates and anticipates your voice, apologizing to him for making him worried. He anticipates the way you’d pat his hair and beckon him to eat breakfast. When he closes his eyes at the count of three, you should be here. If he prays just hard enough, you would come back to him because the angel that he knows always would.

One.

Two.

Three.

Taehyung’s pain doubles in weight when he doesn’t see you even if he’s put his hands together and pleaded to the heavens. All he sees is Namjoon distraught trying to catch a flash of blue that flies out the patio even in the rain, settling onto the chair you always used to sit on.

Scooby is the last thing he wants to see at the moment, flicking at the air next to the stupid bird to get him to scram.

Scooby doesn’t even move an inch because he only tilts his head at Taehyung, his voice parroting the same sentence he’s been hearing from you for the past year.

“I love you, Taehyung!”

1K notes View Post

tannieschim

3 years ago

HES SO LOVELY

The Story Behind Yoongi’s Iconic Chicken Little Spiked Hair

The story behind Yoongi’s iconic chicken little spiked hair

Bonus: 18 yo Yoongi being his iconic self (for reference hehehe).

[cr: vid - @jung-koook, tr - parapiobuin]

1K notes View Post

tannieschim

3 years ago

3:47 AM (m) | Kim Taehyung, 8.3k

Pairing(s): Taehyung x Reader

Summary: Unrequited love sucks. But it may have led you to someone else. That someone else being Taehyung. But there’s an issue. You might not be over Yoongi and he might still be hung up on someone else - his long-term girlfriend, or now ex. As you remember the past, you and him began to reflect, what you wanted may not have been as great as you remembered. And now, with all that time together, can things be progressing elsewhere?

Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+); for language, minor angst (you and Taehyung are still very much heartbroken but there is hope of moving forward - this is a maybe loool); smut (fem-reader; choking; penetrative sex); idol!AU - friends with benefits, maybe lovers). Fluff? Fluff.

=======

There are a couple of flashbacks embedded here - may have gotten a little bit carried away, but oh well 😉

=======

2017

"I have big dreams you know," Yoongi murmured, as if talking to himself. You were both alone, sat in a VIP box at the Gocheok Sky Dome where it gave an unparalleled view of the space. BTS had just completed with Wings Tour and with the additional dates being sold out, Yoongi was on cloud nine. It was empty as the audience had filtered out and the view of the seating was surreal. You remembered Yoongi telling you that it had the capacity for sixteen- thousand people. That’s when you realised that you were far from Daegu and the small auditorium where he would practice, in front of you and his older brother.

Sated and flushed from the concert, Yoongi enjoyed the cool air that met his skin, he had a black hoodie on with a white shirt underneath. You had attended the final date of the tour in Seoul, he was able to give you VIP tickets and you sat with his family, transfixed by the roar of the crowed as they sang each lyric with fervour.

"I know you do,” You smiled, supportive. It was only and upwards trajectory from here, you knew that he’d reach even higher heights and that only made you excited for him. You thought back to when he would let you hear snippets of what he was working on every now and then. Those were the moments that touched you the most, the fact that he was willing to share them and valued your opinion. The silence between you was comfortable, but it was getting to the point of awkwardness. You wasn't exactly sure why he asked you stay, you were busy these days, not like him but still. Something at the pit of your stomach told you that there was something more to this meeting than you had anticipated. Yoongi looked down on his nails, absentminded but deep in thought. You had to force yourself to hold back a sigh, it was getting late.

"Yoongi I-"

"I'm seeing someone."

Your breath caught in your throat and you looked away quickly, desperate something to quell an upcoming wave of tears. Why are you even affected? It had been months since you saw him, you were daft to think that he hadn’t found someone in that time. Blinking several times, you bit your bottom lip and clenched your jaw. The grip on the chair was so strong that your entire body went rigid.

"You have a way of saying big things so casually," You laughed, trying to hide the tremor in your voice. Keeping your gaze on the numerous seats that filled the floors below, you collected yourself before he noticed. Focusing on yours shoes, they were noticeably scuffed at the front.

Yoongi chuckled softly, sounding completely happy, "You know me."

Those words made your blood ran cold. A shiver went through your body. Yoongi noticed and immediately shrugged off his hoodie, draping it across your shoulders. It was warm, and it smelled like him. You accepted it because that was just something Yoongi would do, it didn’t matter who you were.

"What's she like?" It was an innocent question, not at all telling of the turmoil you felt inside. There was a noticeable pause, then Yoongi let out a small exhale, like the beginnings of a laugh. You knew that that meant he was holding back his excitement, he was probably so happy, he could burst.

"You should meet her. She's - she's so right for me, you'll see. We met a couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the tour... I can't even explain it," he was stumbling over his words. It was as if an apparition of the woman he spoke of stood right in front of him. You looked at Yoongi and noticed how bright his eyes were, how he was enchanted just at the thought. Never mind that he had just performed his heart out in front of thousands of people, he didn’t look exhausted at all. He had a wide smile, goofy and innocent. The sides of his eyes crinkled, like when he was really happy. In that moment, his demeanour was unlike his on-stage presence.

It didn’t take long before the hoodie became useless. Yoongi’s mere statement was enough to shatter any form of symbolism you kept for yourself. You were just cold and he was being gentlemanly, always supportive of because you had known each other forever. And in that moment, you reminded yourself that you would always be his friend first and nothing more than that. You inhaled sharply, staring at the stage where they performed not too long ago, swallowing thickly as you experienced a wave of adrenaline. You wanted to run away, to turn back time, to go back to when you were just sitting in silence. That was better that talking about her, whoever she was.

“I’ve got to meet this woman who’s made you act like this!” You laughed.

It was as if someone else was talking in your stead. Someone who looked like you, talked like you. A proxy. Yoongi chuckled and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at himself. He threw his arm around you, it was natural, you had been friends for the longest time and you knew that when Yoongi couldn’t express himself, he wanted to hold something, to anchor himself. But this time, you froze at his touch. Noticing immediately, he searched your face and was met with a flicker of hesitation. You gazed at him, his expectant face mixed confusion at your reaction.

“Sorry,” He muttered, still giddy from his confession, untangling himself from you.

“It’s okay, I was just surprised,” You said honestly. Yoongi was already elsewhere, thinking of the woman that made his world turn unexpectedly.

“Anyway, I better get back, do you need a lift home?” He announced, getting up swiftly and dusting himself off. You shook your head.

“I can take the subway.”

“You sure? It’s quite late,” He asked, worried all of the sudden. You let your shoulders sag as you began to lift his hoodie from them. Yoongi shook his head and gave you a side hug.

“Give it to me some other time.”

With that, you walked together, descending down the stairs back to the exit. You heard him humming to himself as he went along as you followed, your hands feeling numb.

2018

“Why don’t you call Yoongi? We should celebrate!”

Your mother was busy plating the food as you father continued to watch the news by your side. The jacket that you wore for was draped on a spare chair after you had finished a gruelling 10 hour shift. Dinner was plated and steaming, it was your first day at work and it did not fail to exhaust you.

“He’s either busy preparing for the tour or doing shows. I can’t just call him last minute like before,” you explained, picking up a spoon so you could have a taste of the soup.

“Well, it’s worth a call.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Halfway through the celebratory cake the doorbell rang. With your parents tucked in bed and your nose buried in some report you were preparing, you didn’t bother to get up thinking it was unruly kids on your apartment floor. They had been doing this thing where they would ring random doorbells and run away immediately. They were lucky that your father was asleep, otherwise they would have been terrified by his thunderous voice.

But as the doorbell rang incessantly, to point of nearly waking up your parents, you had to abandon your efforts of finishing the report to tend to the door. Yoongi stood behind a big bouquet of flowers, his cherry coloured hair peeking from the assorted petals. Suddenly feeling self-conscious in your dishevelled appearance, you noted that he must have travelled straight from a taping.

“Yoongi!” You smiled, taken aback. Receiving the flowers off of his arms, he returned your smile, reaching in for a side hug.

“Congratulations on your first day!” He exclaimed, letting himself in. It was all so normal, he would first unlace his shoes and arrange them neatly. Then he would beeline to the front room, eventually sitting at the kitchen table. Your heart was racing all of the sudden, and you hugged the flowers close, the paper and cellophane crinkling beneath your hold.

Under the glow of the overhead lamps, Yoongi wolfed down some of the leftover food while leafing through the documents on the side. He was intently scanning the pages, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. You arranged your hair, nervous at his presence. He noticed you standing in front of him, awkward in your own home.

“Why are you acting so shy?” He chuckled, turning his attention to you. He looked happy, his dark red hair suited him. He looked particularly handsome.

“Nothing!” You sat in front of him and helped yourself with the cake. The silence settled as you got lost in your thoughts. It wasn’t until you cleared your plate did Yoongi get up to clear the table.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, you should head home, I’m sure your manager is waiting.”

“Actually yeah, I was just gonna leave, Hye-yeon’s waiting downstairs in the car.” He replied softly, turning sheepish. The feeling of dread descended in the pit of your stomach once again. Yoongi always drew his boundaries clearly with everyone he knew, and you were no exception. Holding your tongue to prevent any further questions from seeping through, you smiled at his genuine happiness.

“Go on then, I can’t believe you kept her waiting!” You exclaimed, holding your breath.

Yoongi blushed. Looking up, he noticed that you were squeezing your thumbs in a fist - something you only did due to stress. But as your eyes met, you released your hands from the imaginary tension and busied yourself with stacking the leftover plates. In an attempt to clear the air, your pushed him gently to the door.

“See yourself out - you shouldn’t keep your girlfriend waiting.”

You turned her back swiftly so he wouldn’t see how your features fell despite your cheerful tone. Yoongi was already on his phone sending and with a casual wave, you parted ways.

“See you soon?” You called out as he disappeared into the corridor.

“Yeah - see you!”

You didn’t get many of those surprise visits anymore as Yoongi got busier and busier. So the world carried on as it was, and you worked until you couldn’t feel anything anymore.

Yoongi was stood outside your apartment with a paper bag in his right hand. Meanwhile, you stood with cash in hand, ready to pay for the take away you impulsively ordered. Wearing a face mask and dressed mostly in black, he shifted on his feet, not looking at you in the eye.

“Uh, my mother wanted me to give you this since you haven’t visited in a while,” He began, his voice muffled. You still didn’t say anything, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Suddenly, you were hyper aware that you were just dressed in sweatpants that had numerous stains and an over-sized t-shirt that had a frayed collar. That was not intentional, that was an indication of how ratty and old it was. Yoongi was still waiting for your reply, casting sideways glances at the empty corridor. Then you remembered.

“Oh, uh, come in, come in!” You said, turning your body so you could press it against the wall so that he could come through. You bit your lip at the state of your apartment. Printed sheets were scattered on the floor, several glasses of water and mugs of coffee, all sequestered in one corner, by the growing collection of plants you had. Yoongi didn’t take any notice of it at all, setting the paper bag on the counter. He was checking his phone when you noticed a couple of condoms mixed in the transparent container where you stored your tea bags, right next to the toast. The foil packets were painfully stark against the white paper tea bags. Taehyung must have placed them in there. Ease of access. Your apartment as already small, and it’s not like the bedroom was on a separate wing. You remembered Taehyung emptying the box, scattering the condoms around your apartment.

You need one here.

Taehyung, we’re not going to fuck on top of my washing machine.

(You eventually did. It was uncomfortable. Your ass was sore for at least a day.)

What about here?

The balcony? Are you serious?

Fine. Can I put it here?

He was talking about the very tea dispenser that was on the left side of Yoongi, who was still on his phone. Strategically placing yourself behind him, pretending to arrange appliances, you swiped the box and hid it underneath a cupboard. Yoongi pocketed his phone and looked at you, just as you slammed it shut. He had taken his face mask off and chuckled at how flighty you were.

“You didn’t have to come over here, I could have picked it up myself,” You mumbled, hiding your hands behind your back. Yoongi shrugged.

“I had some time after rehab, I don’t mind.”

You found yourself nodding, you noted that he did shrug with both shoulders. So he must be making good progress. Yoongi then reached into the bag and produced a couple of Tupperwares. Rushing to his side, you took it from him so he wouldn’t strain himself. When you stacked them together, you noted that it was mostly home made dishes, the ones you would share with him in high school when you would spend time at his house after school.

“Are you okay?” He suddenly asked. And you froze. You met him in the eye and he was looking at you intently, his dark hair getting in the way of his eyes. He didn’t push it back. You were more dumbfounded that anything. It had been weeks since he found out about your crush and you hadn’t really spoken to each other. And in that time, you were with Taehyung, sleeping together and burying your feelings by fucking. So you never really stopped to think if you were okay. The assumption was that he was asking if you were okay with him rejecting you. And mostly, if you were okay with him coming back in your life, as a friend. Yoongi came back to you as someone you were close to, who would support you in a different capacity since he couldn’t return your romantic feelings. And it was just like Yoongi to ask that, he was still a friend after all. Ultimately, that didn’t mean that he would phase you out of his life. It was unrequited love, not the end of the world. You sighed, you didn’t meant to, but it was pushed from your chest, escaping your lips, long and drawn out. Yoongi was still looking at you.

“Yeah Yoongi, I’m fine,” You answered, somewhat believing it yourself in that moment. He was in your apartment, giving you the food that you both had when you were younger. It was a silent offering, I’m sorry. I’m here. Let’s go back, I can be here for you, if you’d have me again. Yoongi nodded, a small smile creeping up his lips. He took the top Tupperware and set it down, you followed his movements as he took two clean bowls from the drying rack.

“Should we eat?” He offered, already taking a place on one of the chairs. You nod. But before you could settle, you noticed that his car keys had a keychain on. It was the same one that you have gifted him for his birthday last year, and that made you smile. You didn’t know why you thought things would drastically change following him knowing that you liked him, it was nice that he kept something that you gifted. You could still remember how he smiled when he fished it out.

2019

Yoongi had managed two free days on his schedule for the week and decided to host a small gathering with the members and couple of friends. Not arriving too late or too early, you found yourself hanging out in the kitchen with Dami, sorting out the food. Yoongi had decided to order food in as it was too much of a hassle to make anything. The plastic containers were all lined up, complete with the various utensils like chopsticks and spoons.

"I can't believe it's been another year!" Dami exclaimed, poking holes in the plastic film. Soon, fresh sashimi was on display for everyone to have a bite on. You were busily arranging the fruit bowls to ensure that everyone had an equal share.

"Yoongi is becoming an old man," You laughed. You fished out your phone to show an edited version of Yoongi, at least 30 years older. It was on Twitter and you saved it as soon as you saw it.

"It would he hilarious to surprise him with that," Dami grinned, arranging the utensils on a big tray. The small paper bag caught your eye as it poked from underneath a table, but it was inconspicuous. Hopefully it would stay hidden as the night went on since you planned to give it to him at some point. Just then, Hye-yeon entered the room with a big red box, presumably containing the cake. Side stepping, you made room so that the spare space on the kitchen island was vacant for her to access. She smiled in thanks and set it down, careful to keep it even.

"I'm so glad I beat the traffic,” Hye-yeon sighed, fixing her hair. You couldn't help how your chest tightened since the desperation to switch places with her amplified.

"Thanks for manning the food for me guys, I had a longer shift at the hospital and couldn't get away," she added, untying the ribbon around the box. You smiled. Dami patted her shoulder affectionately, "Of course!”

As the evening wound down, you found yourself wanting to top up your drink. You wondered if it was time to give him the gift. Slightly unsure of yourself but excusing yourself anyway, you made your way to the kitchen. Once there, you came across Yoongi and Hye-yeon smiling from ear to ear. You realise that she had just given him a gift - and it looked like a fountain pen. Encased in the familiar burgundy box, you had wanted to get him that yourself but it tipped the price point. You instantly felt your efforts pale in comparison. Suddenly, you decided that the custom made keychain that was stuffed in a makeshift bag was not worthy of his attention. Noticing your dumbfounded expression, you schooled yourself and headed straight to where the drinks were, reminding yourself to collect the bag from nearby.

"Come and look at this," Yoongi beamed, eager to share his gift. Glancing at their direction, you raised your eyebrows to feign enthusiasm. Hye-yeon laughed, covering her face in embarrassment, "Stop, it's not even that big of a deal!"

Upon closer inspection, you realise that it had his name engraved in gold lettering. The body of the fountain pen was all black, set on a satin burgundy bed. Yoongi, proud as ever, took it out and popped the lid, revealing a marvellous gold nib. It was impressive and thoughtful. Yup, you were definitely not going to give him your gift.

"That's so pretty!" You offered, observing it as it twirled in between Yoongi's pale fingers. He was grinning so hard that you saw the sides of his eyes crinkle.

"Hyung, I couldn't find the bottle opener, is it here?" Jimin's voice cut through. You saw that he was busily rummaging through the cupboards with a bottle of wine in his hand. You also noticed that he was travelling towards a location that was eventually nearing the bag. Setting the drink down, you walked towards Jimin, attempting to displace his search.

"I know where it is," You replied before Yoongi could even reply. Reaching forwards under the pretence of looking, you swept the bag out of sight and set it on a chair under the table. But Jimin was quick to register. As your eyes met, you felt your face grow warm with heat as you were more or less caught. But as his eyes softened, he relented his search and gave you the opportunity to disclose where the bottle opener was. Luckily it was just lying out in the open and you handed it over to Jimin. Yoongi and Hye-yeon were already making their way out. Sighing with relief, you leaned on the countertop, setting your half empty drink down.

"Was that meant to be for Yoongi-hyung?” Jimin asked, twisting the opener into the firm structure of the cork.

"Yeah," You confessed, defeated. Even though you were sure that it wasn't a shitty present, you wished that you hadn't seen what Hye-yeon had gotten him. Now you felt as if there was no point since it dawned on you that you were both past the age of novelty gifts. Hearing the cork release from the bottle, you looked up only to see Jimin fish the bag from where it was left.

"Jimin, can I have it back?" You sighed, your mood dampening as he taunted you by hanging it on his finger.

"Why don't you give it to him?" He pouted, trying to sneak a peek by opening the bag and poking his finger through the tissue paper. Giving up, you sighed and reached for the wine bottle in his hand and poured some in your glass. When the keychain finally on display, Jimin cooed. You forgot that you also had his name etched on a separate panel. It was a Kumamon bear holding an orange with a speech bubble that said "Kkaep-Jjang!"

"Hyung would love this," he laughed, laying it flat on his palm. When he turned it, he found an engraving at the back that said "I'm the King, I'm the Boss". It was that moment that made Jimin laugh, doubling over and nearly toppling his drink.

“Stop okay,” You chuckled, seeing how its features brought out someone’s sentimentality. Jimin recovered, taking another swig at his drink.

“No but seriously, this is so cute,” He sighed, thumbing the keychain in his hand. Reaching over, you took it from him and attempted to pocket it. Maybe you can use it instead.

“If you don’t end up giving it to him, can I give it instead? My present is great but this adds a personal touch,” Jimin sighed, stepping closer to intercept you. As he caught your wrist, your eyes widened at his sudden movements. Jimin was usually more physical when he was inebriated, and you could confirm that he was probably tipsy at this stage.

“Jimin quit being like this, I’ll use it instead,” You reasoned, firmly detaching yourself from him. He pouted in defeat, his honey coloured hair falling over his eyes. You suddenly felt sad and insecure, which was ridiculous since it was over a harmless present. But you realised that having such inferior feelings over a mere keychain versus a fountain pen only served to highlight that you were acting like a sore loser and helplessly in love with a taken man.

“Hello? Were you even listening?” Jimin interjected, sticking his face near yours. You brought yourself back to reality, pressing your forehead against his in jest. “No,” You confessed, getting back to your drink. Jimin’s brow furrowed, seemingly upset. “What I was saying was that you should just give it to him, no need to feel insecure, each gift has value.”

Gritting your teeth, you hated how transparent you were at the worst of times. Just then, Taehyung entered the kitchen with Dami. Eyeing how you and Jimin’s heads were lowered and staring into each other’s eyes, Taehyung cleared his throat to signal his presence.

“We were sent to get the cake,” He replied gruffly, staring at you a little longer than expected. Dami’s expression was stony, far contrast to her smiling face earlier. You wondered what had happened.

“Is it time for the singing?” Jimin gasped, setting the bottle and his drink down. You pulled back and shoved the keychain further down your back pocket. Sounds of clutter began as Taehyung desperately searched for the candles, Jimin had already left the kitchen to join in on the fun. Left with nothing to do, you made a move to follow him.

“You should give whatever you got for him, he’d like it all the same,” Taehyung said right before you exited. You looked up, the heat rising to your face as you realised he heard more than you wanted him to.

“It’s okay,” You confess, skin prickling at the thought of Yoongi opening it and giving you that sympathetic smile. Taehyung found the candles and placed them gingerly on top of the cake. You watched as his hair fell over his eyes, he looked good in casual wear. He said nothing more and you followed him outside.

When most of the guests had left, it was just you, Hye-yeon, Jimin, and Yoongi left, clearing up the place. You didn’t have anything on for work, so you stayed. Jimin was in the kitchen for far too long, all you had asked him to get a black bin bag. But when he emerged, he had that and the bag where you had your gift. Lunging forward, you tried to snatch it from Jimin, who dodged you expertly. You glared at him, You are so dead. Instead, Jimin winked at you. Yoongi looked up as he stacked the plates.

“Hyung, you have one more present!” Jimin announced, crossing the distance between him and Yoongi, and placed the paper bag directly in his hand. Yoongi looked at you and realised that you got him the gift. He smiled and reached in, taking it out. Your ears burned as you busied yourself in packing the spare confetti. You heard him laugh, like his genuinely laugh. Then, his arm was around your shoulders, squeezing you.

“Thank you, I love it.”

Jimin smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows as you found yourself smiling.

It was Taehyung’s birthday and he woke up alone. For the past three years, Dami would wake up early and come into the room with what she called a ‘Birthday Breakfast Muffin.’ And it would be a simple one - blueberry flavoured. Then, she would set it down by the bedside table to wake him first by lifting the duvet up slightly, so the cold air won’t startle him. When he felt her body lie close to him, he would immediately unfurl from his sleeping position and wrapped her in his arms, till he could squeeze giggles out her. Dami would always kiss his cheek and lift herself off to present him the muffin, and he would act like it was the first time he’d seen it. And Dami would kiss him, between mouthfuls of blueberry crumbs, singing Happy Birthday softly against his lips. Then, before he had to go, they would have a proper breakfast together and in the evening, drink their favourite wine and slow dance in the living room.

Now, his room was quiet and there was nothing on the bedside table. No one had lifted the duvet carefully and he had woken up still in the same position he was in - curled up, with a pillow between his legs and arms. The screen on his phone was alight as messages flooded through, casting a white glow against the wall. Sighing, he picked it up, thumbing down the notifications. He didn’t want to reply but he had to out of courtesy. As he spent time checking each message, some from the members, some from other industry friends, he saw yours.

You [5:46AM] Happy Birthday :P

He smiled at that. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last spoken (and fucked) and he wasn’t sure if he had missed you or just missed someone to hold. Their schedule was particularly packed towards the end of the year anyway and he threw himself into it, not wanting to be idle. Double tapping on your message to like it, he carried on replying for most of the morning, with his phone attached to the charger.

When Taehyung was the van on the way to the agency for his birthday broadcast, he wondered whether he viewed his relationship with Dami with rose-tinted glasses on. Whether he conflated getting comfortable with contentment. He wracked his brain for the moments where Dami was pulling away and if there was a time, why didn’t he notice?

As the van shuddered due to a speed hump, he was brought back to reality. Through the dark tint of the windows, he saw the agency and then they approached the basement parking. Sighing, he pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat. He needed to focus and speak live for at least an hour, so he abandoned any thoughts or opportunity for retrospection. It would eventually give him a headache anyway.

It was mid-January already and it was nearing 7pm. You were close in finalising the project that you had been working on for the past three weeks. You didn't bother to turn the lights on, letting the blue glow of the laptop spur you into hyper focus. Suddenly, you hear your front door open. Taehyung. Hands flying to switch the nearby floor lamp on, you didn’t want to appear as a hermit. Light flooded the living room just as he appeared. Dressed in grey sweats, he carried a paper bag and carried a navy holdall. Placing his face mask and beanie on the counter, he watched you to look for signs of a meeting. You realise that you were still wearing your work clothes despite sitting crossed legged on the floor, hunched over the small screen for god knows how long.

"I'll just be 5 more minutes," you informed him, turning your attention back to the document. He smiles, producing a cheesecake and two cans of beer.

"I'll put these in the fridge, they've been stewing in the car," he sighed. You nod, not really caring. Silence passed, you typed the last few corrections, your eyes stung from the tiredness. You noticed that Taehyung was taking a little too long, rummaging through your fridge.

"You're wasting my electricity," You grumbled, logging out of the online portal. He ignored you, digging a white box that you've shoved in the back. Eyes widening, you scramble to stand up, running towards him to prevent him from opening it. The box was decorative and came from his favourite patisserie.

"Taehyung, put it back," you protest, trying (and failing) to snatch it away from his grasp. It didn't help that he raised it from your reach as he towered over you.

"What's this?" He queried, looking up at the base of the box.

"Taehyung please!" You pleaded, jumping up in desperation. But he leaned back till his back his the counter. He laughed as you jumped up again. The box was still well out of your reach. Giving up, you sighed deeply and stood back, crossing your arms over your chest. He waited for you to lunge at him but you retreated, going back to your laptop instead. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw that he set it down near the paper bag he brought. Heat rose to your face as you waited for his reaction. Taehyung opened the box and was met with an array of macarons. All different colours, he noticed that letters were on them, painted with chocolate. But some were already missing. Not entirely your fault. You hadn’t seen each other for a while and you didn’t want to waste your money, so you ate them gradually as you worked.

Appy irthday Ehyung!

On the bottom row, there were illustrations of Yeontan walking in profile. The remaining macarons had paw prints on them. He looked up at you and found you frantically shuffling some papers to appear distracted. Maybe if I don’t look him in the eye, he’d just drop it. You thought, banking on Taehyung’s emotional intelligence.

"For me?" He asked coyly, picking the 'A' macaron and biting into it. You carried on shuffling papers and shoving them into a folder. If you could summon a giant black hole to open up, you would. He called your name, moving to sit next to you with the box in his hand. When the collection of macarons appeared in your view, you groaned in embarrassment. You wanted to bury yourself alive. Taheyung's arm slid on your shoulder as your face heated up from being found out.

"I think this is really sweet," he said, picking a macaron and offering it to you. It was pink with a paw print on it.

"No it's not Taehyung, it's weird. I shouldn't have gotten it," You sigh, biting into it. But he squeezed you closer to him.

"Well, it was for my birthday, and I think it's sweet," he repeated, finishing the macaron. Reaching for the TV remote, you switched the channel to the news.

“Is all you watch the news?” He asked, snatching the remote away from you. The screen swiftly changed to a variety show, which was probably a re-run.

“It gets me knowing what’s going on, sometimes the newspapers take too much time,” You answered, pulling your legs towards you and tucking your knees under your chin. You felt his gaze next to you.

“You know, you’re so young, but you’ve done so much,” He mutters, totally out of the blue. He reached for a pink macaron with Yeontan on it. But before he bit into it, he took his phone out to take a picture first. That made you smile.

“I guess…” You offered, paying attention to the game on the screen. Both teams had to score a point for water polo. Needless to say, they were struggling all the same.

“I mean, you’ve accomplished so many things too, you’re literally part of the world’s biggest boyband right now,” You add, actually interested in the game.

“It’s not all that.” He sighed, finishing the macaron in one swift bite.

“Well, I’d rather be depressed with $40 million in my account than depressed with $3.” You replied distractedly, seeing another email on your laptop screen. Taehyung found it in himself to laugh at how blunt you were. Dami was always understanding and consoling him for everything that bothered him, whereas you couldn’t be bothered to entertain any sort of that. Which is why he thought you and Yoongi would be a good fit.

“Yoongi-hyung said something similar to me when he and I went drinking,” Taehyung reminisced. Your ears perked up, somewhat curious that you had similar views.

“I was talking about how it’s so much pressure to be an idol and he just shrugged, said something like that, and then he told me that it’s better to be busy than idle. And anyway, we’ve gained more than we lost, I think.”

It was your turn to laugh. That was just like Yoongi to say something like that. The other team on the TV won, and the sound of chaotic cheers filled your living room. Taehyung’s hand closed over yours, his thumb brushing your knuckles.

“Now?”

“Mmhm,” He hummed, already leaning towards you. The sweet taste of macarons greeted your lips, then his tongue grazed yours. The taste of macarons lingered on your tongue. You moan, hands suddenly scrambling to remove his shirt, he gasped as your cold hands came into contact with his back.

“Sorry,” You said in between moans as his hands hurriedly unbuttoned your blouse. Careful not to tear it open (like last time), he flung it to the far side of the room. Then came the zip of your trousers, you shed them from your legs, spreading your thighs as you reclined beneath him. He pressed himself against your throbbing core, rapidly becoming wet just from kissing. I mean, it has been, what? Weeks?

“Better in the bedroom,” He muttered, lips on your neck. You nod, clawing at his back, hips grinding against him, earning a deep groan against your ears. Getting up was easy, but not when his arm locked around your waist as he stepped out of his own sweats, using you for balance. You laughed as his toes got caught in the fray.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, slipping out of his hoodie and shirt. Both in your underwear, you stepped over the mess on the floor and made a beeline for the bedroom. You silently pat yourself on the back for remembering to wash the bedsheets. As your back hit the bed, the smell of freshly laundered sheets greeted you. Taehyung leaned over you, kissing your nose as he hooked his thumbs over your underwear. Teasingly slow, you watched as the black fabric left your body, revealing your soaked folds. Eyes trained on your wet cunt, Taehyung removed his underwear, cock springing free. You moaned as pre-cum covered the head of his cock. Scrambling to get the condom on your side table, he chuckled at how on the ball you were.

“Shut up,” You mirrored him, finally finding it. Swiftly, you handed it to him and watched with bated breath as he slipped it on. When the head of his cock teased you core, you adjusted yourself, hips coming down. Your hand grasped him and he groaned at your impatience. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you ground your hips, feeling his cock become coated with your arousal, yet still he held back.

“Fuck hold on,” he moaned as you took his fingers in your mouth, coating it with your saliva, using all available devices at your disposal. As his fingers left your mouth, you noticed that his other hand was placed on your shoulder, perhaps to brace himself. In that moment, you were aware that his thumb was unconsciously caressing the base of your neck. Your cunt clenched immediately. Taehyung jerked suddenly, your walls tightening around him even more. Your eyes met briefly, everything felt so hot.

"Choke me." You blurted out, it was instinctive, you rolled your hips to spur him on. Taehyung's eyes widened, only for a split second but you caught it. For the first time, he was hesitating. Silence continued and your walls throbbed around his cock. You inhaled sharply, aware that you couldn't let the moment pass.

"Taheyung," you gasped, moaning as he let you grind yourself against him, enveloping his cock in your folds.

"Are you sure? I've never done this before," he said, voice oddly calm. But you felt his hand begin to press the side of your neck, it was subtle but your pulse was beating steadily against his skin. You found yourself nodding, pushing yourself closer against him, back arching slightly, taking his cock even deeper. A small moan escaped your lips, hoping to coax him. The air became rarified with the anticipation that emanated from you both.

"I trust you," you reassured him, remaining still and waiting for him. With your eyes locked onto his, you gauged him, his bottom lip was tucked under his teeth. Something flitted across his eyes and then you felt his hand move across your neck, your breath hitched. He stopped suddenly, the pressure leaving your neck and soon as it arrived.

"No, keep going," you said, trying to keep the panic in your voice at bay. But you saw that he was chuckling, eyes darkening suddenly.

"No, I just, I never thought you'd be into this," he smirked. Heat floods your face.

"Hey I'm not a prude," you shot back, returning his gaze defiantly.

"Now get on with it," you demanded, spreading your thighs and proceeding to undulate your hips. Taehyung groaned, remembering that he was still sheathed inside of you, aware that your walls were throbbing in protest. Finally, his hand enclosed over your neck, you felt the pressure again, and a jolt of pleasure ran along your body. You shiver involuntarily, moaning as he also began to move his hips.

“Tell me if you’re uncomfortable and I’ll stop, okay?” Taheyung panted, firmly planting his his other hand beside your head. Nodding as best you could, your breath hitched as he slammed his hips onto yours, the hand on your neck keeping a steady pressure. With your eyes fluttering shut, you sighed as your clit finally got the attention it needed. Lost in the depths of pleasure, you heard him say your name, a deep rasp that pierced any sense of logic you had left. It wasn't something that you could respond to anyway, as your voice garbled nonsense, words melting into mewls. He called your name again. This time, you opened your eyes, tongue wetting your lips as he pushed himself inside you.

"F-fuck, Taehyung, harder," you moaned, you couldn't contain it. Looking up at him, you knew that he was hesitating in putting more pressure. He knew you were pleading for his hand to put more weight on you. Seeing that his jaw was clenched, his groans mixing into grunts as he rutted into you, pressing you further up the mattress. Your arms raised themselves above your head, pushing against the headboard to brace yourself. Taehyung groaned at the sight, you knew that he liked you spread before him, your tits bouncing each time his hips slammed against yours. You were so wet that you were practically dripping around him and onto the sheets.

"You sure?" He asked, voice strained.

"Yes!" You gasped, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your arched up, pressing your entire self against him. Then, his hand added more weight, closing on your neck even more. A choked cry escaped your lips as they parted.

"Shit," he groaned, momentarily thrown off as he snapped his hips in response as your cunt clenched around him. You whined as the sensations began to overwhelm you, barely able to register anything as your voice was reduced to gasps. Taehyung wasn't faring either, teeth cutting his lower lip, biting so hard that it became a violent shade of dark pink.

"Keep going, don't stop, fuck," you gasped, arms straining from the force of his thrusts. Still, the fact that Taehyung's hand was on your neck only served to elevate your pleasure, causing you to leak more. He never wavered, thrusting into you rapidly. As your body began to be jostled, bouncing on the mattress from the force, his hold on your neck restricted you, taking the air that you sought. His groans and your cries coincided with the repeated slaps of skin on skin, the slick noises of your wet cunt enclosing on his cock.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last," Taehyung groaned, his hand on your neck pressing tighter. Delighted in how he was taking the role, you bit your lip not caring if he finished first. It was euphoric, to have him believe that you trusted him and that he was doing what you asked. That thought alone was enough to send you over the edge.

"Just cum," You moaned, hands leaving the headboard to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples. You didn’t care that you were being pushed up, so much so that you body was practically leaning on the headboard, your body basically bent in half. Taehyung grunted in response, then elicited a gasp as his thrusts become sloppier by the second. Everything was so hot and wet, his grip on your throat tightening further.

"Fuck, fuck, you're so fucking good," he moaned, his voice deep and clear. You relish in being able to give him pleasure, moaning even more as you closed your eyes and succumbed to his touch. With a final slam of his hips, he came with fervour, filling the condom, spilling his hot cum inside. With his hand still on your neck you whined as your swollen clit was suddenly neglected, his thrusts slowing down. But before you could protest, Taehyung had mustered the strength to continue thrusting into you.

"T-taehyung, ah, fuck,” you cried, hands flying to his forearm as he continued to choke you. Your fingers dug into his skin, small red crescents forming in their wake.

"Cum for me," he demanded not caring about the sting on his arm, eyes alight with determination. In that moment, you let go, orgasm ripping through you in a violent way, that combined with the lack of air caused you to get lightheaded as your cries were reduced to silence. White light clouded your vision and your body shuddered as it tried to cope with all the sensations that assaulted it. Taehyung's lips found your nipple, tugging it even more. You swore you were ascending as he coasted you through your orgasm, Fuck, yes, yes! You managed, your entire body singing from pleasure and pain. As he slowed his thrusts, you steadied your breath, his hands left your neck and body as he leaned back to slip outside of you. The emptiness made you groan as your walls throbbed around nothing. Taehyung leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling next to you, completely spent. After some time, you both relaxed onto the bed, somewhat sleepy.

"Can I stay for a bit?" Taehyung muttered, already drifting. You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to him and slotted yourself against his body, your head against his neck. He used his arm to pull you closer, tucking you head underneath his chin.

The clock read 3.47AM. It was dark and you were tangled in each other's embrace. You had accidentally woken him up when you tried to go to the bathroom since your skin was sticky as your arousal was drying between your legs, on your chest, your lips. Now, Taehyung's arm was underneath your head, his other hand took yours to outstretch it to the ceiling. You weren't sure what the purpose of that was since your arm was shorter than his, so his elbow ended up at an angle. Still, you played along, rocking your palm against his.

“I can’t sleep. I keep thinking about the time where I messed up during a conference." He confessed. Chuckling at himself as he remembered it. He was opening up more, usually it's after sex. It didn't bother you before but you did notice that cuddling was new.

"I was asked to describe the genre for one of the tracks, and I said something like disco pop poking ballad acoustic guitar sound," he outwardly cringed, folding into you. You laugh at his hair, untangling your fingers from his to hug him, he squeezed you back. You knew what he was talking about, the press conference for their BE album. But you couldn’t remember which song.

"Can I ask what track?"

He starts laughing harder, his deep voice melodic, and he nuzzled more into the crook of your neck. You hug him tighter, your heart swelling at his display of affection.

"Blue and Grey." With that knowledge you actually laughed, fanning his hair with your breath. Taehyung pressed himself onto you, arms circling your waist.

"I know," he grumbled, deep voice reverberating against your skin. He pulled away, placing some distance between you, so you rested your head on the pillow as his arm slipped away. You schooled yourself as you automatically missed his embrace.

"I always get nerves during press conferences, now it's gonna add to the view that I'm from another planet," he sighed. He was looking up at your ceiling again, profile in view. It was hard to tell whether his eyes were closed or not since his fringe was in the way. Yet your hand remained by your side despite its protest of brushing it away.

"Well, I like you just the way you are," you mused. The silence that followed signalled that what you said may have been inappropriate. You had to remind yourself that you were just having sex. What you said seemed like a tentative statement, a hint that you wanted more as you reassured him. But it was unavoidable at this point, it came so natural to you. You waited, unaware that you were holding your breath. All that came was a small scoff from Taehyung, he brought his hands to his face, bracelets jostling together on his wrist. Guessing that he was still reeling from embarrassment, you trusted that he would gloss over what you said. Your face filled with heat as you prepared to turn over.

"Well, I should get going. Early shoot tomorrow." He sat up suddenly, threading his fingers through his hair. He was already reaching for his clothes. A small sliver of disappointment wrapped itself over you, your skin prickled with goosebumps.

"Sure. Drive safe." You said, turning over and pulling the duvet further up your shoulder.

"Thanks."

Well, I like you just the way you are.

It wasn't new. He had heard it more than a thousand times since he started his career, whether it was from his parents, the members, fans. So why did it feel different this time? Taehyung drove the car out of the parking lot, climbing the cemented hill to join the main road. Despite nearing midnight, various cars were still on the road. He drove in silence.

But in that silence, he remembered you. The small sighs you would make. How your bodies seemed to slot into each other perfectly nowadays. The snippets of encouragement that didn’t come often but it was enough for him to notice. Clenching his jaw, he realised that what was happening between you guys was toeing the line. A shrill ring brought him out of his thoughts - Dami. Her name flashed on the screen of his car. He ignored it, driving forward as the light turned green.

previously.

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