Senpai Says You’re Welcome

...ngl, the fact that ADD and ADHD got condensed into ADHD when the hyperactivity specifically is part of the reason so many girls were simply not diagnosed drives me up the wall.

It's not that the whole name isn't bullshit, because it is. It describes the way people outside of our experience perceive us, as opposed to the difficulties that are part of our lived experience. Even from an outside standpoint, it's recognizable that "deficit" is not always the issue with our attention... but that's beside the point.

When psychiatrists noticed that ADD and ADHD were basically the same thing... they chose to favor the typical male presentation in the literal naming of the condition, and in doing so condemned a generation of girls (and other afab people) to suffer through being told they're so smart, they just don't apply themselves enough, that it's a personal failing they can't regularly turn in homework, that they're lazy for waiting until the last minute to work on an assignment... because those girls weren't hyperactive. Those girls just kind of drifted off and daydreamed in classes. Those girls doodled or wrote stories all through their school years, and functioned measurably worse when a teacher noticed they were doing that and tried to stop them. Those girls are now so many of my adult friends who are now being diagnosed with ADHD as adults, because the hyperactive part of the diagnosis almost solely applies to children (CHILDREN, when, I might note, this is a lifelong condition) who are socialized male.

We need a whole other name for the condition, because attention deficit is not our problem at all. But my god, the hyperactivity part actually ruined my life for so many years, because I had no way to explain to my dad why it physically hurt me to be bored, why I had to read or write or doodle in class in order to keep my focus, why I excelled in tests but failed at homework so my grades sucked because of that. No one even considered I might have ADHD, all through my childhood, but earlier this year I had the opportunity to go through all my grade school reports, and they could not be MORE CLEARLY talking about a child with ADHD. "Pleasure to have in class", "assignments not complete", "does not pay attention in class", "Birdie is a highly intelligent child with specific and unique needs" (I would LOVE more follow-up on that one, from third grade, do not have it). But I was a quiet and reserved child, so obviously I couldn't have ADHD.

I'm legitimately angry about it in retrospect. I went off my Adderall for a couple months recently, as an adult who only started taking Adderall as an adult, and it completely fucked up my ability to function. For years I was just out there as a teenager struggling through high school and college entirely unmedicated because as a child I was too withdrawn to be diagnosed. Fucking wild and also infuriating.

Im not going to watch "the white lotus" after the writer went on a right wing podcast and laughed and agreed when the host praised his portrayal of "AGP males" in an episode. Kill yourself

Oh no, you must've misheard me. I never said morally GRAY, I said morally GAY. As in he takes a certain homosexual approach to dealing with ethical dilemmas. Also he's killed 200 people

i was recently diagnosed with OCD, and we seriously need to change the way we talk about the disorder. the average time between onset of OCD symptoms and beginning to receive treatment is over a decade, and i suspect at least part of the reason why is the way we talk about OCD societally, or rather the way we dont talk about it.

no, OCD isn't the "clean freak" disorder. you dont have to check that your door is locked 17 times in order to have OCD. the actual symptoms of OCD are as varied as any other disorder, but it seems that only the most palatable or easily digestible symptoms get talked about regularly.

no one wants to talk about mental compulsions (ex: ruminating on past and potential future situations with "what ifs"), and how they can be even more severe or disruptive than visible ones.

no one wants to talk about the extremely distressing intrusive thoughts that can happen, let alone the fact that intrusive thoughts dont start and stop with violence. yes, this includes bigotry and pedophilia, and no, people with these thoughts are not bigots or pedophiles. intrusive thoughts play on your fears, not who you actually are.

the reason no one with OCD is talking about their symptoms and experiences is because we're demonized for having them and harassed for expressing them, and that shit is unacceptable. we fucking deserve safe places to discuss our symptoms without fear of it being misconstrued and used against us (or just straight up being verbally assaulted, or worse). thought crime isnt fucking real. your thoughts do not make you a good or bad person, your actions do.

please share the emo boy in the luggage rack on the train image

"image" is such a casual word i honestly think this masterpiece belongs in an art gallery for the world to see and appreciate

black tee

all eyes on you suguru

Leaning for a forehead smooch

Megumi and Yuji!! I love them sm😭

I'm really proud of how this piece turned out, I had so much fun working on it~!

saw an anime piracy post with links i didn't like, so i'm creating my own - updated 2023/3/25

as always use an adblocker everywhere you can, preferably ublock origin on pc, if youre on mobile you can use adguard (both android/ios) or firefox nightly with ublock (android only)

anime streaming - a majority of these sites pretty much function the same, especially for newer shows - animepahe.ru - my personal favorite, with adblock it Just Works - 9anime - the old classic, has a huge library and still works perfectly - gogoanime - another old classic, most other streaming sites steal their rips from here directly

manga reading - tachiyomi - android front end that aggregates all sources into an easy to use app, highly recommend. there's also tachidesk for pc, though i personally have not used it. all the below sites also exist as tachiyomi extensions - mangadex - the classic, has pretty much all scanlation content out there, servers are very stable now compared to years ago - dynasty-scans - the go-to for yuri content - mangasee - my personal favorite for officially licensed content, ad free!

visual novels - this section focuses on direct downloads, but for vns especially, i greatly prefer torrenting - ryuugames - has lots and lots of porn, but also has almost every other vn here too, has link shorteners, my preferred dl source is onedrive - erogedownload - older site, doesn't have everything and has downloads split across 200mb files - gog-games - though not explicitly visual novel-centric, many vns are published on gog and are available to download here, along with the bonus gog goodies

torrenting/other bonus things under the cut

anime/manga/vn torrenting - this method is preferred over direct downloads/streaming if you can help it - for starters, you definitely need to use a vpn for this, if you are unsure what to use r/vpn has a really detailed provider comparison table, i personally recommend mullvad, though - you will also need to use a torrent client in order to download content, use qBittorrent for pc and flud for android - nyaa.si - has most content out of anything, your go-to site, if you are looking for official manga add "digital" to your search - sukebei - nyaa sub-site that contains any r18 content, most visual novels are here instead

light novels - admittedly, i am not as familiar with lns, but here is what i've used/seen around - novelupdates - my personal go-to, does not host links themselves - webtoepub - converts websites into downloadable epubs, works with ao3 as well

raws - itazuraneko - your best bet, has manga/light novels/visual novels/movies/japanese subtitles for anime, also features japanese guides - bszip - another source i use infrequently, has manga/light novels/magazines

syncing - if you like tracking your watching/reading with sites like mal/anilist/etc - malsync - browser extension that despite its name, works with mal/anilist/kitsu/simkl - taiga - windows app that works for downloaded anime, also contains a built in torrent tracker

additional links - i personally can't vouch for all of their items, but thewiki.moe and their catalog theindex.moe both are invaluable resources, with tons of sites and feature filtering