I Would Never Eat You Though, @consult-sherlockholmes! You're Practically Just Skin And Bones! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😇🤭😁☺️😳😉😋🥳🤣😂😌🙂🥺💯👀👉🏻👈🏻

could we get some slender bros NSFW hcs?

(Creepypasta x Headcanon) NSFW Headcanons for the Slender Brothers -

~~~~

- Slenderman, as we all know, doesn’t like humans and probably has a very low sex drive. If it was ever high, I would go run and hide because he would probably turn into another Sexual Offenderman, but worse. Obviously, he has a thing with using his tendrils to pleasure his partner and doesn't care if anyone walks in on him getting some action. 

- Splendorman may look like a sweet-heart and all innocent on the outside, but on the inside, he’s very kinky and dirty, he just doesn’t like that side of him, so he hides it away. His sex drive is also pretty low and there’s no need to worry if it ever gets high, he’s very good at controlling himself. He likes blindfolding his partner and would be very embarrassed if someone walked in on him. 

- Trenderman, the OCD brother out of all of them. He’s fascinated in humans but also cringes at them. When he found out they do NSFW things with each other, he was horrified. Watching humans ripping off each other’s clothes and throwing them on the ground is like a horror movie for him. To say the least, he’s not interested in anything that’s NSFW and you would probably never see him with a partner. If he did have a partner, do expect to see him making revealing clothes for them. 

- Sexual Offenderman... must I say more? His sex drive is high and is always high. He doesn’t care about genders so everyone is basically doomed when he’s around. He’s into the most kinkiest things ever. Here’s a list of his kinks: Sadism (Inflicting pain or humiliating his partner), Impact play (spanking, whipping, flogging - any kind of strike), Voyeurism (getting off from watching other people have sex), Katoptronophilia (anyone who loves having sex or masturbating in front of mirrors), Edgeplay (Considered riskier than usual kinks. It involves knives, blood, needles and more.), BDSM, BNT (involves inflicting pain on a woman's breasts and nipples), CBT (involves inflicting pain on a man's penis or testicles)... 

Trender: What’s a seahorses best sense?

No one: …

Trender: It’s their sight. Because they are a see-horse. They see.

Everyone else at the meeting table:

Slender: Why the hell are you here? What do you even do?

Trender: I bless you all with my presence, so don’t sass me, fuckhead.

Slender Man: "S⦻rry I'm late t⦻ ⦻ur family meeting."

Tender Man: "What happened?"

Slender Man: "N⦻thing. I just really didn't want t⦻ sh⦻w up."

Hey could I get some good omens content? Maybe Aziraphale x fem reader headcanons?

sorry for getting to this so late! 

- if you have long hair this boy will definitely braid it all the time. 

- if he gets attached he will stick to you like glue. 

- he always is attempting to get you to smile. 

- is a total cuddler 

- his main nickname for you would be darling or sweetheart 

- it is very easy to fluster him 

- if you’re into reading he will find you very old books 

- if you get sick he will not leave your side until you get better 

- he was very flustered the first time you called him baby 

- he tries to keep pda to a minimum around Crowley, but he sometimes slips up :)

- if he ever gets jealous just pepper him in kisses 

- gives the best birthday gifts 

- he’s not much of a flirter but when he does prepare to be flustered 

- loves to carry you either it be in his arms or on his back 

- if you’re ever sad he will cuddle with you and attempt to get you to laugh 

- if ya’ll ever fight just make sure to give him space, he’ll come around 

Hey!! I think I’ve seen a relative of your around recently their home was like a trapdoor. Do you have a big family? Or small one? (＾－＾)?

Oh! There are many Thraphosidae to go around! I'm guessing you perhaps live somewhere in Australia, yes? Or perhaps in a warmer country, outside of Europe? Trapdoor-spiders, like the atrax robustus for example, often live there! But those are also much more venomous and deadly than myself. Theyalso are quite vicious and aggressive, but not any less beautiful! So yes! I guess, that gives me a pretty large family! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🥹🥺✨👉🏻👈🏻

Eurus is smarter then both Sherlock and Mycroft combined! 🕷️❤️😍🥰😘😌👀😉🤣😂😁💯👉🏻👈🏻

Frollo smirks

And me? I'm here, too! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🥹🥺🥲👀😳🙂☺️😁😁😉😋🥳👉🏻👈🏻

Near orgasmic seeing Sherlock as my mutual, until I see what he liked.

...How mad would you be if I said yes? 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍🥹🥺🥲😭👀😳🙂☺️😌😁😉😋👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

You're drunk after four beer already?

Okay alright so i had four beers and some hot and sour instant noodles for dinner and decided to treat my future self to a less shitty hangover in the morning so i grabbed the half full mug of water that had been sitting on my kitchen counter for 36 hours and took a big swig but felt something in my mouth and this is what i spat out