From “Buarth Beird” In The Book Of Taliesin

A few things which are “canon” somewhere for people who are worried they’re stretching it too far

Arthur was killed by a giant cat.* 

Arthur killed the cat.

Arthur didn’t fight the cat. Kay did.

Kay and Bedivere use salmon as taxis. 

Lucan is half giant, half lion. (This Lucan, Lucano in the original Italian, is evil and not related to Bedivere). 

King Arthur raided the land of the dead.

The human knight Caradoc Briefbras has three half siblings: a dog, a horse, and a pig.

A large portion of Arthur’s troops was killed a while before Badon by his nephew’s attack ravens in self-defense. Arthur and said nephew were playing chess at the time and neither did much to stop it. [Edit: before Badon, not Camlann, which has apparently already happened despite Arthur and Mordred being alive]

Merlin retired peacefully and went to live in the countryside with his also-magic sister Ganieda, Taliesin, and another of their friends. [Edited]

Wherever Arthur walks, plants die. They don’t grow back for years.

Arthur had a spunky (half?) brother who died in battle after making a mysterious oath.

Dagonet is more or less able to run the kingdom when Arthur is gone. His biggest error is overspending on mercenaries.

Guinevere has an evil almost identical twin half-sister.

Hector beat up all the best knights except for Galahad while possessed by a demon.

Gawain plays tennis.

Gawain has used a chessboard as a weapon.

Near the start of his reign, Arthur left Lot in charge of the kingdom and went on a quest with a sassy parrot.

Gawain or Galahad succeeded Arthur as king.** 

*Whether or not this is canon anywhere is a somewhat meta matter. André de Coutance complains that the story that Chapalu/Cath Palug killed King Arthur and conquered England is a slanderous lie while also implying it's widely circulated. He's saying that it's canon in other places and also that it's wrong. As far as I know, no other text mentions a tradition where the cat kills the king.

**Not in different texts--Bhalbhuaidh is either Irish Gawain or Irish Galahad.

The hero tapestries at the Metropolitan Museum of Art Cloisters in New York City, NY

May I just say, non-condescendingly, that I love how we’re all such nerds about these characters that we take weird, obscure tidbits, like Kai’s laundry list of superpowers (which upwards of 99% of everyone everywhere will never know or care about), for granted as common knowledge.

hello. i was wondering sumn. what makes a knight of camelot ~A Knight of Camelot~? there are so many of them and they’re all different but do they have characteristics in common that are found in the average Famous Knight of Camelot and that when you see you think “ah yes that is very arthurian of them”. i hope my question is not a bother to you and too confusing.

Hi! Like every other answer I ever give, it’s highly dependent on the text.

In the Mabinogion, Arthur’s best knights tend to have special abilities, even magical powers. We all remember Kai’s fun list of attributes.

But generally speaking, fame in Camelot comes from 3 things:

Every successful knight is hot. I don’t make the rules.

They have to be good at beating the snot out of other guys. Obviously.

Branding. I’m so serious.

My basis for this comes from the Vulgate descriptions of the Orkney Bros. Specifically, Gaheriet/Gaheris. Not because he’s famous, but because he isn’t.

It’s no accident that Gaheris never makes it to the big screen the way his brothers do. He is, by design, basic. The quintessential middle child. He doesn’t have a Special Trait (such as Gawain’s courtesy or reputation as a ladies man or noontime powers etc.) and that makes Gaheris forgettable. To be a famous knight, you gotta put your whole pussy into it, in front of a live studio audience, or you won’t be famous no matter how good you are. Makes sense when you think about it!

Not sure if that answers your question, but that’s what I got. Take care. :^)

I normally don't like Tennyson's narrative around the female characters due to his framing of them being the source of all the faults in Camelot.

But there's a part of this story that often catches my attention and its Guinevere's rejection of Arthur:

Like, I can't help but dig idea that Guinevere rejects Arthur because of his virtue. As if his holy character actively irritates her.

If I was writing, I would take it further and outright imply Guinevere is some kind of demonic being. If Tennyson can get away with turning Arthur into a mysterious, divine entity that Merlin found instead of being born of Uther's misdeeds, then I don't see why I can't apply that to Gwen.

Welsh Myth already provides the idea of Guinevere as a Fae/Giantess so I would just present her as a "Reverse Persephone" -

Guinevere is actually a mysterious girl who came up from the "Kingdom beneath the Earth", "a daughter of a Colossus of Old" and is reared as ward of one of Arthur's vassals. Arthur, being taken by her beauty, took her as his wife. "And so, the Worthiest and Most Righteous King on Earth married a she-devil, the fairest of all her race, and made her his Queen."

The reason she finds Arthur repulsive is because she's a "primal spirit" who was born deep underground and can't stand the presence of someone so "Heavenly", so divorced from "the touch of the Earth". Camelot falls into "sinfulness" because Guinevere is in fact a physical avatar of all Materialism and Worldly Values, both good and bad.

And instead of Guinevere repenting of her actions, I would just take a cue from E.A. Robinson and have Gwen reject Arthur to the very end:

And if Arthur and Guinevere ever meet again, Guinevere could go as far as threaten to eat Arthur - "as is the habit of my kind, says the Queen" - especially if Arthur starts posturing about his (Victorian) morals and being chaste for her.

If there was a way to present Guinevere as a proper Anti-heroine or compelling villainess without the usual sexism/misogyny, this is how I would do it.

She's not so much an actively evil force as she is simply incompatible with the "Blameless" Arthur and indeed, the marriage's eventual failure was inevitable.

But for a time, while the marriage endured, Camelot was the place where the Spiritual and Material meet as fellows and prosperity ensued.

Looking back on this, I’m baffled that I managed to leave out Bedivere. I’m in this very weird writing rut where I keep starting stories using the canon where Griflet is the one who throws the sword in the lake and those stories end up devolving into vaguely metaphysical Bedivere-death-centric angst. Even when Bedivere is theoretically a minor character, it happens. It happened in a reincarnation fic where the Green Knight makes them all sing karaoke and the Palug Cat is Guinevere’s Maine Coon, for goodness’ sake. I think the problem is that there are about fifteen knights who I would offhandedly say are in my top five. Anyway, apologies to Bedivere.

To anyone who loves Arthurian legends, who’s your fav knight? Mine has been Sir Palomides and Sir Gareth lately.

Happy Passover to all my fellow Jews. May your holiday be peaceful and meaningful. I hope you got rid of your chametz at a non-stressful time.

Let my people know.

Memes of Judaism

In further research into Yiddish collections of Arthuriana, my father found a story of Gawain. You'll never guess what it is, I guarantee. Go on, guess. You're wrong.

It's a Yiddish story about Sir Gawain becoming Emperor of China.

POLL TIME 2 ☺️☺️

Some background for each!

Gwalchmai: The OG Gawain, slayer of giants in Welsh myth, besties with Owain and Peredur. He's known for his gold/silver tongue and is literally like The Best Boi. I am enamoured with him. Tells Cai to do one when Peredur gives him a broken arm. Also this passage single-handedly convinced me that Peredur and Gwalchmai are a couple: 'And Peredur and Gwalchmai went to Gwalchmai's pavilion to take off their armour. And Peredur put on the same kind of garment that Gwalchmai wore. And they went hand in hand to where Arthur was, and greeted him.' Thank u, Sioned Davies.

Branwen: Is the only woman in the Mabinogi to have a branch named after her. Literally the sweetest woman ever. Her dad is the sea God, Llŷr, and her brothers are Bendigeidfran and Manawydan. Trained a starling to send messages to Bendigeidfran to say she was being abused by the Irish court in an absolutely amazing move. Sadly she passes away once she's made it back to Wales alongside Manawydan, Pryderi, and five other men (and Bendigeidfran's severed head!) '"Oh son of God," she said, "woe that I was even born. Two good islands have been laid waste because of me!" She gives a mighty sigh and her heart breaks. And they make a four-sided grave for her and bury her there on the banks of the Alaw.'

Cai: OG Kay. Depending on what u read he is either the most renowned warrior ever - 'Prince of plunder/The unrelenting warrior to his enemy' as Pa Gur yv y Porthaur says - the possession of the most fuckin batshit magical powers as Culhwch ac Olwen relates: 'Cai had magical qualities. For nine days and nine nights, he could hold his breath under water. For nine nights and nine days, he could go without sleep. A wound from Cai's sword no physician could heal.' And so it goes on. Or he is literally the most grumpo to have ever grumped and I respect him hugely.

Blodeuwedd: OWL WOMAN. FLOWER-FACE. 'Then they took the flowers of the oak, and the flowers of the broom, and the flowers of the meadowsweet, and from those they conjured up the fairest and most beautiful maiden that anyone had ever seen.' She is literally stupidly beautiful AND SHE PLOTS TO KILL HER HUSBAND, LLEU, WHO QUITE FRANKLY DESERVED IT. A fuckin queen. She fucked over Gwydion's bb boi in one fell swoop, I simply MUST Stan.

Finally, RHIANNON: HORSE WOMAN. QUEEN OF DYFED. LITERAL TYLWYTH TEG LADY. She literally says to Pwyll - who she later marries - 'Be silent for as long as you like: never has a man been more stupid than you have been.' And if a woman said that to me I WOULD PERISH. also had an amazingly fast horse and like dhdjdddj when Pwyll dies - in a, I presume, stupidity-related incident - Rhiannon marries Branwen's brother Manawydan and actually gets treated with respect instead of whatever fuckery Pwyll was pulling.

Anyways VOTE, VOTE, VOTE. Best two go through to the quarter finals. U only have 1 DAY TO VOTE SO ZOOMIES!!!!

The back of my Siege Perilous

Going from left to right and down, the symbols stand for Galahad, Percival, Ragnell, Blanchefleur, the Grail Heroine, the Lady of the Lake who gives Arthur Excalibur, Guinier, Gawain, Dinadan, Ector de Maris, Morgan le Fay, Caradoc Briefbras, Griflet, Isolde, Vivian, Taliesin, Tristan, Brunnisend, the Nine Witches, Laudine, the Three Queens or Morgause, Kay, Dagonet, Merlin, Palamedes, Sebile, Guinevere, Igraine, Melora, Yvain, Mordred, and Arthur.

If you’re confused about some or all of them, here’s my rationale/what the symbols are: 

Galahad and Percival have slightly different Grails. I think Ragnell is found sitting under a tree, and another story has Gawain in a relationship with the queen of Avalon, isle of the apples. Blanchefleur means “white flower”. The square with the spiral in it is the Grail Heroine’s box of hair. The sword under the wave is fairly obvious. That is the drinking horn from Guinier’s chastity test. Gawain’s is a SGatGK reference. Dinadan’s is an aro ring. Ector de Maris, Griflet, Kay, and Palamedes all have symbols or patterns from their attributed arms. Morgan le Fay takes Arthur to Avalon on a boat. Caradoc has to be saved from a serpent which is wound around his arm. The torch is a Wagner reference. Nimue traps Merlin, whose symbol is the bird who shares his name, so she is represented by a birdcage. Taliesin got his wisdom from a cauldron, and there’s a cauldron in the Preideu Annwfn. Tristan plays a harp. The formation of the relationship between Brunnisend and her eventual husband is defined by their dire yet mutually exclusive needs for a good night’s sleep. The Nine Witches’ symbol seemed cool and has a threefold element. Laudine has a magic fountain. The evolution of the nature and deeds of Anna/Morcades/Morgause/etc. seemed to sort of go with the Maiden, Matron, Crone archetype and I really couldn’t think of anything else. Dagonet eventually became a jester. Yblis, who has a magic mantle, is Sybil scrambled, and there is a strong modern association between magic and capes. Guinevere is sometimes given authority over the knights of the vergescu. My justification for Igraine’s is particularly weak and would take too long to explain. Melora wields the Lance of Longinus. Yvain befriends a lion. Mordred has a broken table because he helped break the Round Table. Arthur is King.

I would, too.

Movie/Tv Show/Anime idea: An Action Adventure where Aliens invade Earth but it’s way back in the past, Specifically Camelot during the height of Arthur’s Reign. Now instead of eliminating or toning down the more mystical aspects of Arthurian Legend we lean into them.

Sir Kay grabs his sword and starts heating it up to make a makeshift lightsaber before growing to his giant size and slicing through alien ground troops like they’re paper.

Gawain and Ironside (the Red Knight) are just tossing aliens around like nothing with their superhuman strength. Then when the sun sets and the aliens think they have the upper hand over Gawain who loses his incredible strength at night, they hear a wolf’s howl before being attacked by Sir Marrok the werewolf.

Sir Bedwyr piercing the Aliens’ superior technology with his magic lance before darting away like the Flash, Sir Ywain using his battle lion to defend the court, etc.

Even Merlin gets in on the action, using his extensive magic to create illusions and fireballs. Morgan Le Fay even comes out of the woodwork to help, summoning lightning to attack the aliens’ ships.

Arthur, still in possession of Excalibur’s scabbard, tries to initially greet the invaders, only for them to blast him with a plasma cannon. As the smoke clears, Arthur is unharmed but his horse is a pile of ash. Arthur just looks at the alien spaceship and says, “that was my favorite horse.”

In the final battle, right when it seems like the aliens have the upper hand, one of their spaceships crashes to the ground unexpectedly. Out of the crashed spaceship comes Sir Galahad wielding a sword clearly made out of alien technology. Turns out what Sirs Percival and Bors thought was Galahad ascending to Heaven was actually him being abducted by aliens, and he stowed away when he found out they were coming back to destroy Camelot. The Knights, now emboldened by Galahad’s return start pushing the invading forces back. Galahad actually goes to the Round Table at some point, finds the Siege Perilous, and breaks the back of it off to make a makeshift shield/vaporizing weapon.

Anyway the Knights win, Galahad decides he needs to go back to free all the Aliens’ captives and lead a rebellion against their oppressive empire. He also says he’ll tell all the stars what awaits them should anyone try to invade the Earth.

I’d watch that.