Byakuya's Ambivalent Feelings.

If Ukitake saw Rukia's bankai

Incredible, I love how you can correlate the ups and downs Ichigo has Hollow Zangetsu with these kleshas.

Zangetsu, you’re making it sound like that’s a bad thing.

But the fear of becoming a raging monster…is a perfectly reasonable and healthy fear. We should all have such a fear!

——

Here’s a tiny comic, that turns out to be pretty large on tumblr. Sorry for that. Also the quality is shit but I had to hurry up with this and I am too lazy to deal with tumblrs resizing, so… hmmm it’s the idea that counts, right?

Happy New Year!

This is the best analysis of Kai ever, absolutely stunned to read through it and realize how underrated Kai is nowadays.

The Finals!

In the right corner we have Iroh, the dragon of the west, uncle to us all, war criminal extraordinaire, from Avatar the last Airbender

And in the left corner we have Kai Smith, the elemental master of fire, best big bro ever, temporarily evil guy for like two seconds, from Ninjago masters of Spinjitsu

The winner will be determined by you, fellow arsonists, so vote carefully!

These Sternritter posts are legit comedy gold istg

If the Sternritter had to live in Ichigo’s closet...

As requested by anon. :)

Previously we considered what would happen if some shinigami or the espada decided to live in Ichigo’s closet. Now it is the Quincy’s turn! If they, for some unfathomable reason, found themselves crashing in Ichigo’s closet, how would that go?

1. BG9: Treats it like a sleepover

BG9: So…what’s your favorite color?

Ichigo: For the last time, go to sleep!

BG9: But you said no tentacles! How am I supposed to get data without tentacles AND while being quiet?

Ichigo: This is not DATA time, this is SLEEP time!

BG9: This is the worst sleepover ever.

Ichigo: THIS ISN’T A SLEEPOVER

2. Gremmy: Shapes the closet to his will

Ichigo: Hey, I’m gonna go out for a while. You okay?

Gremmy: Oh, I am more than okay!

Gremmy: BEHOLD!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: DID YOU TURN MY CLOSET INTO AN AMUSEMENT PARK???

Gremmy: It’s not my fault your wifi kinda sucks.

3. Giselle: Won’t stop trying to turn Ichigo into a zombie

Giselle: Whoopsie! I cut my finger on a clothes hanger!

Giselle: Go get my a bandaid, Kurosaki!

Ichigo (reading manga in bed): I’m not going near your blood, Giselle.

Giselle: That’s fair.

Giselle: …

Giselle: Want some tomato juice?

Ichigo: CUT IT OUT

4. Quilge: Keeps trying to trap Ichigo in the closet

Ichigo: Let’s see, I think I’ll wear my Nice Vibe shirt today.

Ichigo: Now I’ll - 

Ichigo: What the hell?

Ichigo: Why is the closet closed behind me?

Ichigo: [slides closet open]

Quilge: Congratulations, Kurosaki Ichigo! I cannot believe you escaped my Jail!

Ichigo: It’s not hard to open a closet from the inside.

Quilge: Not hard to get out of a ball either, but -

Ichigo: You don’t have to bring that up every three seconds!!

5. Cang Du: Is stoic about closet-living

Ichigo: Sorry my closet is kinda small for a tall guy. You okay?

Cang Du: I am fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that the only pajamas I had are the ones Chad left which have baby bunnies on them.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: Sorry that Kon is currently clinging to your head for some reason.

Cang Du: It is fine.

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: So if my clothes get wrinkly can I have you iron them, or…?

Cang Du: You cannot get a rise out of me that easily.

Ichigo: Man, you’re good!

6. Bazz-B: Tries too hard

Bazz-B: Cool shirt, man!

Bazz-B: This shirt is cool too!

Bazz-B: This shirt is Abarai’s eyebrows level of cool!

Ichigo: …why are you looking at all of my shirts and complimenting them?

Bazz-B: Abarai told me you only fight your friends. So I’m becoming your friend.

Ichigo: The fighting comes before the friendship. Not after.

Bazz-B: Oh.

Bazz-B: In that case…

Ichigo: NO

7. Liltotto: Won’t stop eating

Ichigo: Hey, where’s my favorite shirt? The one that’s too small and shows my belly but it’s okay because I wear another shirt under it?

Liltotto: I ate it.

Liltotto: And all of your ugly clothes.

Liltotto: You’re welcome.

Ichigo: W-what??

Liltotto: Your taste in clothes is worse than Bambi’s taste in men, to be honest.

Ichigo: IF YOU WANTED A SNACK YOU COULD HAVE ASKED

8. Bambietta: Keeps inviting Ichigo in

Bambietta: I can’t sleep in this stupid ugly closet, Kurosaki!

Bambietta: Wanna…join me? 

Ichigo: No thanks.

Kon: I’LL JOIN YOU!!!!!!

Ichigo: KON NO

9. Candice: Doesn’t seem to like the closet

Candice: Sleeping in your STUPID CLOSET has RUINED MY HAIR!

Candice: NOW YOU DIE!!!!!!!!

Ichigo: Candice it’s five in the morning can we please do this later?

Candice: NO

10. Askin: Installs a cappuccino maker 

Ichigo: [opens closet]

Askin: Fresh coffee?

Ichigo: [closes closet]

11. Ishida: Tries to be helpful

Ishida: Look, Kurosaki! I added capes to ALL of your shirts!

Ishida: Now everybody will know about your Quincy heritage!

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: …

Ichigo: You also appear to have bleached them all white.

Ishida: Yeah, it’s shocking how much color you had in your clothes!

Ishida: Quincy wear WHITE clothes!

Ichigo: IS THIS WHY I SMELLED BLEACH ALL NIGHT???

12. As Nodt: Treats it like a sleepover

As Nodt: So……….what would you say is your deepest and darkest fear?

As Nodt: Mine is death.

As Nodt: Death is scary.

As Nodt: But you feel more like a “lives while all his friends die” sort of guy.

As Nodt: Spot on or nah?

Ichigo: …I am so done letting people stay here.

I don’t know if Segunda Etapa and Ichigo’s Dangai version of his Bankai/Mugetsu could be considered equals. Vasto Lorde Ichigo overpowered Ulquiorra’s second Resurrecion and then Dangai Ichigo was overpowering Hyogoku Aizen’s multiple forms who claimed he was transcending hollows and Shinigami.

Mayuri’s surveillance bacteria are by far Kubo’s greatest “has no relevance except this one fight” concept. Someone should ask him about it at Klub Outside.

the official and fan translations really don't agree on chapter 552:

but if Bankai and Resurreción are equivalent, then Segunda Etapa and Final Bankai are equivalent, and Ulquiorra did it without any drawbacks whatsoever

from chapter 348 it apparently wasn't the first time he'd ever used it, so he could use it as many times as he wanted. Uryū was there for most of the fight (although he admittedly didn't see the transformation), and Uryū:

was infected with surveillance bacteria per chapter 303

in other words Mayuri, via SRDI staff like Akon, should've had footage, if not far more advanced telemetry, of an Espada using Segunda Etapa, the equivalent of a Shinigami's Final Bankai, and should have known it was theoretically possible to stabilize the latter

this man apparently never researched the matter for even an instant, not on Shinigami or on his resurrected Arrancar, nor did he ever talk to Kisuke about it (nor did Ichigo, Uryū, or Orihime) because if that research ever had happened, TYBW would've been the time to use it or at least mention it as being unready

this dude literally has footage of someone operationally going from an atomic bomb (~20 kt) to a hydrogen bomb (~200–1,000 kt) in lethality and shrugged and went meh to play around with Privaron Espada and Arrancar corpses

are you kidding me

what, did Akon or Hiyosu or somebody delete the footage?

also how the fuck did Ichigo never mention having seen Segunda Etapa after having lost his powers from using Final Bankai? especially when he'd literally seen Uryū lose his powers from using Letzt Stil only to gain them back? Ichigo dude why were you moping around for 17 months when you literally knew people who'd used equivalent powers who either didn't lose them or got them back soon after

like it is INCONCEIVABLE that Mayuri and Kisuke don't know about Final Bankai (Kisuke literally showed up as it ended versus Aizen) and couldn't analogize it to Segunda Etapa and Letzt Stil, and yet neither of them shows any apparent interest in it whatsoever

some scientists

"Oh, the hydrogen bomb? Meh, I don't wanna be Edward Teller, I'm a Robert Oppenheimer kinda guy."

this is likewise INCONCEIVABLE when Kisuke and Mayuri should know Wandenreich is coming, despite their apparent total lack of preparations

unless they deliberately ignored the research avenue to let Wandenreich kill as many people as possible

then they both roll out smartphones and internet streaming by NBFH to bring down Shinigami culture hmmmmm no conspiracy there no sir

What captains think about in their captain meetings

As requested by anon. :)

We already imagined what the espada think about in their meetings. But what might be on the captains’ minds during theirs?

1. Unohana

“Murder.”

“Murder.”

“Murder.”

“I really need to tell Isane what a nice job she did with those pillow covers. They are making all of the patients so happy, and that is so important.”

“Murder.”

2. Kensei

“I wonder what Mashiro is doing right now. Getting into trouble, probably.”

“Ugh she drives me nuts! Why did I want her to be my lieutenant again?”

“And Shuhei had better be working. Not daydreaming about Matsumoto like usual.”

“I need to get back to those idiots.”

“Why is Soi Fon glaring at me?”

3. Soi Fon

“Ugh. Kensei never pays attention in these meetings.”

“Of course, he’s a visored. Associated with Urahara Kisuke, so naturally he’s trouble.”

“I can’t BELIEVE the head captain let those visored come back.”

“Man, these meetings would be so much better if Yoruichi-sama had come back instead of those idiots.”

“I hope she does come back. She’ll see how strong I am. Love me. Be beautiful. Be - SOI FON STOP IT PAY ATTENTION!”

4. Aizen

“If only you knew, head captain, that during this meeting, I have come up with the next eleven steps of my plan.”

“And I narrated my own actions to myself the whole time. Because I am a multitasker”

“Aizen thought to himself. Smugly.”

“I can feel you watching me, Gin.”

“This meeting would be so much better with tea.”

5. Gin

“I will kill you dead, Aizen Sosuke.”

“Now that I know your weakness, I could do it anytime.”

“I could even do it…..right now.”

“But nah.”

“Never hurts to wait a while.”

5. Kenpachi

“This is dumb.”

“I don’t even know what’s going on.”

“Why do we even have these meetings?”

“Instead of meetings, we should all just fight each other.”

“I’d fight Kuchiki Byakuya so hard. That would be so awesome.”

6. Byakuya

“I can feel your eyes on me, barbarian.”

“I am going to have take such a long bath.”

“Hitsugaya is still wearing that scarf. Took the idea from me, of course.”

“I am a fashion icon.”

“Recognize.”

7. Hitsugaya

“Holyshitholyshitholyshit Kuchiki is looking at me.”

“Stand up straight, Hitsugaya. Be tall. Look smart.”

“As tall as you can, anyway.”

“Stop that! No short jokes in your own head!”

“I wonder if Kuchiki would be amused if I told him a short joke.”

“Maybe I should try that. One day.”

8. Komamura

“What an excellent point the head captain has made.”

“He is very wise as well as very strong.”

“I am glad that we can have these meetings so that I can see true leadership in action.”

“I hope that he is proud of me.”

“Maybe one day….he will pat me on the head as I have always dreamed.”

9. Shinji

“I did not miss these meetings. Ugh. It’s like being in school. Only standing up.”

“Like, at least in high school we had desks.”

“Although at least the head captain doesn’t give us homework. Homework sucks.”

“Okay well at least the meeting must be almost over. It’s been…….FIVE MINUTES?!?”

“I won’t survive this.”

10. Tosen

“I hate listening to you speak, Yamamoto Genryusai.”

“All you speak are lies.”

“There is no justice here.”

“There is no justice anywhere.”

“Except maybe with Komamura.”

11. Kyoraku

“I hope Ukitake is doing okay. Looks a bit wobbly.”

“I should go and have tea with him later. See how he’s doing.”

“If Nanao-chan will give me the time off, anyway!”

“Look at all these youngsters. Paying such good attention.”

“Hopefully no one can tell I’m not listening.”

12. Kurotsuchi

“I wonder what Komamura’s brain looks like.”

“If I gave Unohana my new adrenaline drug, would she snap and kill everyone, or just go after Kenpachi?”

“This meeting is going a ridiculously long time. I should make some more time drugs.”

“Maybe one to speed up time for these meetings. And one that stops time, just for fun.”

“Now which captain could I trick into testing them for me?”

13. Rose

“They say that if you imagine the end of a song, it will no longer be stuck in your head.”

“But what if it’s a song you’re writing, and it doesn’t have an end yet?”

“Then I guess it just stays in your head forever.”

“Like pain. And grief.”

“I wonder if bone would make a good guitar pick.”

14. Ukitake

“I’m so glad I felt well enough to be here!”

“A little wobbly, but that is okay.”

“Pretty sure Kiyone and Sentaro are right outside, so if I faint, they’ll come and collect me.”

“I should have tea with Kyoraku later. See how he’s doing.”

“Hopefully I’ll be well enough for that.”

Hello and Happy Valentine's Day to you all! To celebrate, here are some very classy and not at all cheap or cheesy, Bleach Valentines Day Cards brought to you by the Gotei 13 Captains! (Or at least, their Bleach Gree Cards, plus my terrible photoshop skills, anyway... 😅)

Give them to your friends! 🥰

Give them to your enemies! 😈

Give them to your boss! 🥸

 (This is all a joke, please don't do those last two! 😅)

Anyway feel free to use them/give them away to your friends and loved ones, and again Happy Valentine's Day! ☺️

(Special thanks to Bleach Gree Cards for adding all these cards to their blog, thereby preserving them when the website went down!)

Update: The Karakura Kids now have cards as well!!!

I honestly wish they would animate some of the comics like as shorts! The pilots and early seasons of Ninjago didn't have the best pacing, while also skipping over fighting the skeletons as villains. That's what made the comics so good with how they characterized the ninja, while going into detail about the skeletons and the Stone Army, and even adding mature lore in later comics.

I’m never going to forgive the fandom for unanimously agreeing the comics aren’t canon even though their legitimately one of the best written ninjago media’s and have been referenced everywhere outside and inside the show itself

THE COMICS ARE GOOD AND IM

TIRED OF PRETENDING THERE NOT

Harribel Hollow Queen Outfit