they/she!
46 posts
However, this sceptic had one fanaticism. This fanaticism was neither a dogma, nor an idea, nor an art, nor a science; it was a man: Enjolras. Grantaire admired, loved, and venerated Enjolras.
you know that random book where john crossed out 'wedding' and wrote 'funeral' under a picture of paul and linda? but he also wrote "the minutes are crumbling away" under a pic of him and paul during an apple press conference in ny? that picture was taken literally minutes before linda gave him her number backstage and we all know how thata ended (linda went with them to the airport; john and yoko made their relationship official two days after they landed) lol
you can see the picture here: https://www.tumblr.com/ljblueteak/189314046655/associated-press-lennons-resentment-of-mccartney?source=share
aaaaand a video of the conference (plus linda's comments): https://www.the-paulmccartney-project.com/interview/nyc-press-conference-announcing-apple/
this is so distressing I just had to start shaking my head. this is the most evil ask I've ever gotten
well i'll be damned here comes your ghost again but that's not unusual it's just that the moon is full and you happened to call...
John Lennon and Cynthia Lennon at the Peppermint Lounge in New York, 9th February 1964
Drunk John my beloved
girls with big sad brown eyes can't be convicted of crimes
All of them are gay in my heart AND the show
ao3 downā¦. what iām i supposed to doā¦.
shoutout to that time paul simon and john lennon hosted the grammys
as a companion: rip 1971 paul mccartney, you would have loved johnny (reprise) by faye webster
rip 1971 john lennon, you would have loved you oughta know by alanis morrisette
paul mccartney - hear me lover/something that didnāt happen [demo]
hear me, lover / i canāt be held responsible now / for something that didnāt happen / i knew you for a minute / oh, it didnāt happen / only for a minute / your heart wasnāt in it / hear me now, lover / i canāt be held responsible now / for something that didnāt happen / i knew you for a minute / oh, it didnāt happen / only for a minute / your heart just wasnāt in it anymore, oh / hear me
rip 1971 john lennon, you would have loved you oughta know by alanis morrisette
#coquette #waif #dietcoke #lanadelrey #femalehysteria #redscare #cherryemoji #virginsuicides #trepanning #femcel
1977: Paul sings a wistful tune. (Note: A fragment; this is either all there is of the song or all that has been publicly released.)
PAUL: I canāt write another song / As long as you keep leaving / Day by day my nights are long / But I keep on believing / Some men fight for loversā rights / Some men fight for freedomā¦
Howard talks about All My Loving, and how Paul wrote it as a poem without melody at first. Paul immediately thinks Stern is implying that the song is about John for some reason.
yknow your fantastic post about closeted paul and how he's (probably) come to accept his queerness/bisexuality, but simply keeps it private for multiple reasons? what would you say was john's case?
(i personally believe he was a closeted gay man but idk how to Phrase Things. Sigh.)
oh i 10000000% believe john was a gay man with a lot of Problems. like. i know, i know, in later life he talked about liking men & women & we have that hysterical "john lennon's bisexual guide to gardening" quote but likeeeeeeeeee.... idk. here's my Speculations under the cut
several things, to me. yes, he fucked a lot of women (a lot). but of the 4 of them, during the beatles years he really didn't.... have any steady girlfriends. it's not like he was the only married one and it's not like he had any hangups about cheating, so it's really not that. the ONLY rumor there is was one that he "dated" an older woman (blanking on her name rn) and even thennnn those rumors were, afaik, just based on the fact that he was kind of sad when she died & that he viewed her as a mother figure. which is... i mean that's not convincing like at all to me.
the Three Biggest Relationships in his life w women were cynthia, yoko, and may pang. the rest were women he fucked around with as one night stands. again, as far as i'm aware. and cynthia..... well it's not really hard to see that he very much (unfortunately) did not give that much of a fuck about her. it's the most classic case of comphet i've ever seen. he dated her bc he was supposed to & then he married her bc she got pregnant and he was supposed to.
and yoko....... lord. i won't deny that he loved her. but it was, from literally everything we've seen, a very obsessive love that had less to do w their personal chemistry and more to do with Circumstances. and even with her, there's sooo many quotes of him talking about how he liked her bc she looked like a man, or looked like him in drag, or acted like a bloke/best mate. that's. not to doubt him but that's just not something someone into women says lmfao.
and that's not to mention the whole debacle w probable conversion therapy. and like. this is no hate to yoko & again i believe she was a flawed individual just like any of them were & we have truly got to embrace her morally gray status just like any man bc we can't demonize OR idealize women when women are Literally Just People. but from some of her quotes & outside sources she was very uncomfortable w the idea of his queerness. and hell, there's the "you think of rock hudson when we do it" line, which is both honestly pretty fucking homophobic but also very indicative of where john was, sexuality wise
and as for may, that whole situation was honestly so fucked up and tragic for Both of them that getting into it would take a novel but like. that wasn't exactly his first choice in partner
and in his quotes about Being Into Men, what he says is basically that with women he is fine fucking without an emotional connection but w men he needs that emotional connection & he hasn't found that with a man. which i think is him bullshitting, btw, but the core of it there that he can't fuck a man without emotions is... well that's really telling. it seems like sex with women to him is just sex, whereas sex with men to him is a deep, emotional thing. and that's, again, just not really something someone into women would be saying with their chest
i'm pretty sure he Also has a quote about never having found a woman attractive which is just telling all on its own
and as for Being Into Men...... well he talked about it himself. but also, there's at LEAST stuart, paul, and brian that would go right at the top of the list for me of men he had an incredibly close & intimate relationship with, one-sided or not. i don't think it's incidental that he referred to paul constantly as his other partner in life, his other marriage, etc while like. literally barely ever mentioning cynthia. like it's super telling, the johnandpaul of it aside, that he talks more about his Boy Best Friend when talking about past marriages than his literal wife lmfao
i think he had a LOT of internalized homophobia & anger with himself over it ("scared of his inner fag" as he said). bc of that, i don't think he let himself get as close to the men he was probably in love with as he wanted to be, or even let himself acknowledge just how emotionally attached he was to them. by the end of his life, i think he WAS coming to terms with liking men, at least. was he coming to terms with Not liking women? i don't know. probably not, although i know his and yoko's marriage was in a rough place by the end of his life so who knows really.
i would hope that if he'd lived that by now he would've found peace w his sexuality, bi or gay, but that's not the world we got unfortunately
this nothing Guardian article from eight years ago happens to include the best Paul McCartney cartoon Iāve ever seen
He didn't have to do any of that
we're in such a strange era where men will just casually wax poetic for several paragraphs in mainstream media outlets about how john and paul were in love with each other but no one dares to explore the real questions (were they having gay sex? when were they having gay sex? what kind of gay sex were they having?) mate you're a journalist, do your job
Ok this is what I think the biopics will be like for each Beatle:
John will be so troubled but in a really charming way and Julian will be mentioned but briefly and theyāll make it seem like John was just too busy to be a present father (Paul will make up for it in a vomit inducingly cheesy way). His eating disorder, heroin addiction and other internal struggles (self-esteem, sexuality, maybe even gender,ā¦) will go unmentioned or brushed over jokingly like haha he tossed Brian off, donāt we all at that age. Heāll be the cool and funny older brother & later genius who just couldnāt be confined within a band. They wonāt have the guts to call his bullshit and therefore will automatically brush over his kinder and vulnerable sides. Heāll be reduced to a knock off version of the tortured artist blueprint. Theyāll never pick up on his pathetic wet dog vibe
Paul will be the charming good guy whoās all in with the band. No mention of how he fucked over Jane and every other girl until Linda; heāll be a musical genius, too, but in a prince of the people sort of way. Theyāll loooove that he stopped eating meat, woke king!!!! Linda will be brushed over by making her into his soulmate wifey who finally helps the charming playboy with a heart of gold settle down. His depression and alcohol problem wonāt be mentioned/reduced to feeling a little sad. Heāll be a little bossy sometimes but they wonāt ever get it right how fucking annoying he could be. Straighter than a ruler. Johnās brother, almost biologically. No homo. Theyāll find a way to make the twink who fucked the entire population and had an ego bigger than Neptune into a straight feminist
George will be the indie underground smart Beatle and people on tik tok will start posting thirst traps of the actor with the caption āthey donāt make em like this anymoreā and then complain about real-Georgeās teeth. Heāll be so spiritual and smart and he wonāt have an affair with his best friendās wife at all and if he does itāll be because of some spiritual insight, not because that man couldnāt keep it in his pants for 5 seconds. Iām deadly afraid of the colourful drug scenes where heāll hallucinate god. Heāll be the perfect boyfriend and Pattie will be played by Sidney sweeney or something. They wonāt take a side with the whole George Or Paul debate during the breakup, but George will be too focused on other things to want to stay in the Beatles. They wonāt mention the three billion songs John&Paul deemed unworthy. Theyāll never do the grudges my man held justice. No one could
Ringo will be the funny guy who luckily survived his childhood and found his passion through a kind nurse giving him his drumsticks. Heāll play an incredible drum solo at 8 years old on his hospital bed frame the first time he ever holds those sticks. He wonāt be in gangs, he wonāt beat his wife half to death, he wonāt have drugs and alcohol problems. Heāll be peace and love from age 0. Heāll be slightly stupid and heāll mention octopuses too much. Theyāll never get it right how he was truly the eldest and how much his vote and opinion actually counted within the band and how much the boys wanted him in the band and admired him. He wonāt be a sort of glue to the band. He wonāt marry a teenager he met when she was 16 and he 22. Heāll be a weird version of Ken from the Barbie movie, his job will be Drum. Theyāll flatten a severely nuanced and layered man to a sheet of paper with the word ābeatā on it
I am too afraid to even think about what they will do to Eppy
Oh and each and every one of them will have way too pretty teeth and I am already furious. I want them to have British men in the 1960s teeth. Give me British teeth and jerking off together
John wrote a short story where he has sex with a 'woman' in paris. Except the woman is called Amie L'Nitrate and Amyl Nitrate is a reference to poppers. He talks about grabbing her 'pomme de frites.' Her potatoes? He uses the term 'tread lightly on some loafers' which is an old euphenism for being gay. Amie says they should have sex to God Only Knows. Then John says their relationship ended in a seething rage but he still thinks of 'her.' Yeah. Most solid mclennon evidence in my eyes.
January 13th, 1969 (Twickenham Film Studios, London): John contends with how the force of his partnership with Paul and his relationship with Yoko has negatively affected George and perhaps directly contributed to Georgeās walkout on the group three days prior. (Note: Follows shortly after this clip. My apologies for the vagueness; this is a very difficult excerpt to interpret, and I change my mind about it constantly, as the emotional nuances of what is being conveyed shift significantly depending on whom you presume John is speaking to (Paul or Yoko) about whom (Paul, George, or Yoko) and whom it is in reference to or is directed towards (Paul, George, or Yoko), word to word. I did initially try to indicate whoās who in brackets next to the relevant pronouns, but the transcript got dreadfully cluttered, and as I said, I have hardly nailed myself to a mast. Basically, this is a fannish Rorschach test and Your Mileage May Vary.)
JOHN: And itās just that, you know. Itās only this year that youāve suddenly realised, like who I am, or who he is, or anything like that. But the thing isā
PAUL: But I still havenāt realised that. What Iām ā the process.
YOKO: [inaudible]
JOHN: Yeah yeah, but you realise that some ā like you were saying, like George was some other part. But up till then, youād had a ā your thing that carried you forward. [pause; Yoko speaking?] I know, Iād adjusted before you. Alright, that would make me hipper than you, but I know that Iād adjusted to you before that ā for selfish reasons, and for good reasons, not knowing what else to do, and for all these reasons. Iād adjusted to all these and allowed you [inaudible] ā you know, if you wanted to let meā [inaudible] āvery, very⦠whatever it is. But this year, youāve seen, youāve seen what youāve been doing, and what everybodyās been doing, and not only did we feel guilty about it, the way we all feel guilty about our relationship to each other, because we could do moreā¦Ā
YOKO: [inaudible]
JOHN: I know, the thing is that Iām ā I canāt ā Iām not putting any blame on you for only suddenly realising it, see, because itās [inaudible] our game, you know; it might have been masochistic, but the goal was still the same, self-preservation. And I knew what I liked about that. I know where the ā even if I didnāt know where I was at, you know, the tableās there, and⦠let him do what he wants, and George too, you knowā¦
PAUL: I know. I knowā
JOHN: And I have won.
PAUL: But this thing has beenā
JOHN: But I think youā
PAUL: You haveā
JOHN: I feel itās you.
PAUL: Whatever it is, you have. Yeah, I know. Well, Iāve had [inaudible]ā
JOHN: Because you ā ācause youāve suddenly got it all, you see.
PAUL: Mm.
JOHN: I know that, because of the way I am, like when we were in Mendips, like I said, āDo you like me?ā or whatever it is. Iāve always ā uh, played that one.
PAUL: [laughs nervously] Yes.
JOHN: So.
PAUL: Uh, Iād been watching, Iād been watching. Iād been watching the picture.
YOKO: Go back to George. What are we going to do about George?
JOHN: Yeah, Iām ā yeah, sure. But this year, suddenly, itās all happened to you, and you sort of go ā youāre taking the blame, suddenly, as if, uh⦠Oh, heād say, āOh yeah, you know [inaudible],ā as if Iāve never known it. And then he thought, āFucking hell. I know what heās like. I know he used to kick people. I know how he connived with Len, Ivan. I know him, you know? Fuck him.ā And then, oh, but, but right, Iāve done such things⦠all that. So youāve taken the five years that [inaudible], youāve taken the five years of trouble, this year. So half of me says, alright, you know Iāll do anything to save you, to help you. And the other half of me says, well serves him fucking right. Iāve chewed through fucking shit because of him for five years, and heās only just realised what he was doing [to her?]. So, and thatās something ā weāve both known it, you know? [laughs] And it is incredible. [pause] PAUL: Yeah.
When I think I'm so strong and nothing can ever hurt me, much less any old stuff, which happened long before I was born, I suddenly play this little song (actually, 3 in 1) and hear Paul and John singing between Two Of Us' takes, Do I love you? Oh, my, do I? Honey, deed I do?
And John comments, Yes, I do it, Paul
Playing the fool as usual