The Before And After

as a celebration of ao3's bday i got some of the best out of context quotes from the site (I'vebeen keepingthis im my notes since 2019 so this is not at all the only ones lol) read under cut!

if you want kidneys we got so many dead bodies around here

I am going to set this school on fire!""...That's kinda hot,"

he looked like he had been caught chugging milk by the ghost of Hitler

"I think I'm balding and I'm not sure whether it's the stress or the genetic mutation.

i couldn't have a seizure, i just dont have it in me

"What more do you need?" "Proof"

CAN you beat someone to death with a paper napkin?" "I'll have fun trying."

he doesn’t think that killing himself counts as suicide, at the very least.

“Uh,” he says, intelligently“What took you so long?

“Motherfucker broke my arm

Why do you have contacts in the Italian mafia?” “Why don’t you? They have really good food.”

Pardon my language, sir, but are you fucking kidding me

it was probably best if the media didn’t know their biggest lead on the case was human experimentation.

in the eyes of the law I'm a useless rug.

“Are you ok?” he gave her a shaky smile, then promptly passed out.

AND NOW the tags

I respect women so much i don't even go near them

wanna see how a icecream shop starts the next war?

two four six eight who do we appreciate?Not the government!

how long do we have to wait to joke about traumatic experiences?

That could potentially be a health concern… but hey, why worry about things like that?

I look like a hobo and have the personality of decaf coffee.Try and call me out like that. Little shit. I know you read Twilight . Fight me.

Cross my heart and hope, hope, hope to die

i was very confused and upset when i found out about heterosexualsthe

future is meaningless but pasta is now

Everytime i do that, i swear to myself i would never do it again, and yet here i am. Doing it

If i didn't know i was the best, i might be tempted to think i am an idiot

On top of all that the fucker couldn’t breathe right.

when you start to die...don't

Why weren’t words working the way they were supposed to?

there is no point in holding in my rage, since it may as well be everyone’s problem

my hair is made of spiders aka i have not taken my meds in a week

of to the shadow realm but they really just dont care??

love all the different variations on this type of trap there are

The Ofmd fandom @ the Good Omens and Heartstopper fandoms:

ok yes i know he was only there for like a minute and at the end and we will probs get more of Alucard in the next season but DANM MY BOY!

The fact that in the Castlevania he is only called Alucard and not Adrian is because of Dracula and his legacy that Alucard doesn't even want to be associated with but is constantly forced into.

AND THEN Annette (my love) doesn't even know who Dracula is!? They all know Alucard, even if they thought he was a myth but they don't know Dracula,the dude who he got his "name" from.

Anyway they have to explore this in the next seasons or else im releasing @shypapermentality onto the writers

how can i be embarrassed about my music taste whennit is objectively the best?

We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

here she is

did i just drive ten kilometers in the cold to pet some random cat for half a hour?

yes

yes i did

no mourners no funerals my ass im mourning the show and planning Netflix's funerals

i need an Osmosis Jones type movie from the body of a trans guy with all of these as quotes

The human body's response to HRT is actually admirable in the sheer indifference. Just pure I Don't Give A Shit, I Just Fucking Work Here compliance to the new instructions. You can get testosterone injected straight into your body and it doesn't even question where that shit came from, coming back from a coffee break and just going

"Okay, everything seems to be in ord- oh fuck now what? Oh huh. Alright fine. New orders came in, cancel the menstrual cycle. Dig up the genetic balding patterns from somewhere, I don't fucking know they're buried somewhere in the dna. I'm greenlighting the growing-hair-on-your-toes thing. Yeah just cancel the ongoing maintenance processes, new orders came in so this is apparently what we're doing now."

my spotify wrapped this year