Hey Guys

i really needed this. it took me years to understand who i am, specifically because of awful men and experiences with men in my life who made me terrified of men and masculinity. i was scared to the point that i violently rejected myself every time i started to feel like maybe i wasn’t a girl because i was so scared of being a man and what that might mean for me as a person. it took meeting and becoming close with some wonderful trans men and a very wonderful and special cis guy for me to finally relax and realize that i didn’t have to be afraid. that being masc isn’t being evil or dangerous. that there are truly beautiful, lovely men out there, some trans and some cis. that despite how dangerous the men of the world can be, there’s good too. and i am fully capable of being part of that good. i’m still working on internalizing it. thank you op <3

Idk what trans man needs to hear this but you're NOT evil or disgusting for being a man. You do NOT have to suffer for the sins of the patriarchy committed by cis dudes. Being a man doesn't invalidate the misogyny you experienced growing up or experience now. Being a man doesn't mean you deserve to be isolated. Being a man doesn't mean you're inherently predatory or scary. You didn't "choose" this, and finding your true self is NOT "betraying the community" because you happen to be a man and/or masculine rather than a woman and/or feminine. You ARE allowed to be upset when people "affirm" your gender by malgendering you.

You DO deserve a community that uplifts you. You DO deserve to experience trans joy. You DO deserve to have your voices heard and your struggles recognized. Wanting the bare minimum of solidarity is NOT "making everything about trans men".

foolproof plan

how’s that house that raised you?

Traffic

On Sunday, a lambent crevice opened up in the street outside my house. By Tuesday, birds were flying into it.

“I probably won’t miss you,” my mother said. “I’m only interested in the end of the world,” I replied.

Many find it difficult to breathe without the atmosphere, but we knew how; we just stopped breathing.

We’re at the Moonlight All-Night Diner, and they’re serving up fruit from the plants growing out of the waitress. The closed sign whispers, “Please, don’t touch me.”

We watch bodies fall to the ground outside like deep sea creatures surfacing. You turn to me and ask, “Do you ever think about suicide?” I look away from you and close my eyes, eat the raspberries to confuse the blood in my mouth.

Now you’re in the only car in the parking lot at midnight and you’re watching me throw stones at the moon which hangs low in the sky so that he can look into your house. Your sister tried to touch him from her window once, and he flinched.

Now he and the oceans watch her with a quiet concern. The lilac sky is trying to rest her head on his shoulder, all trees gradually growing through her.

A hummingbird whispers to you, “Be careful. Under her dress is her skin,” and then builds his nest in the middle of the highway.

I look back to you, and you close your eyes

-Katherine Ciel

Welcome to Night Vale Episode 20 - "Poetry Week"

it's not even past

I want someone to make one of these new sterile teen gay romance shows on Netflix but halfway through they pull a Doki Doki Literature Club and it turns into a fucked up fourth wall breaking psychological thriller that deconstructs the heteronormative and middle class ideals of the genre

sometimes i feel like i am not a very good poet or artist and i ought to be more realistic and not embarrass myself by sharing my work. then i remind myself that its okay to not be perfect, or to not be as skilled as my role models, or to be learning. because everyone is practicing and learning and improving all the time. and it makes me feel a lot better about myself :-)

on occasion ill feel discouraged by needing to work to form a following and having very few notes on my work then i remember that even 5 notes is 5 different ways my art has been seen and interacted with and thats so mind boggling and beautiful!!