Self-love/self-hate

And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive Eight Year Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, (a symptom of ADHD, trauma, autism, schizophrenia etc.) you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.

So uh….some dude apparently recreated Adobe Photoshop feature-for-feature, for FREE, and it runs in your browser.

Anyway, fuck Adobe, and enjoy!

search history, 1:11 am - 1:39 am

if i go through withdrawals when a person doesn’t talk to me as much is that a sign of love?

what do i do when all of my connections feel fleeting or flimsy on my end, even those i have with my own mother?

what does it mean when i sit by the phone waiting for them to respond?

i fantasize that every kind stranger i meet has secretly fallen in love with me, am i lonely?

do i lose value as a potential partner if i cannot feel sexual pleasure?

is it wrong to feel devastated that i am doomed to be a temporary fixture in my best friends life?

i haven’t been able to feel romantic love in years, did something inside of me break?

when will i cease to exist in a constant state of catabolic mayhem?

when a caterpillar is inside the chrysalis, does it dream?

is living vicariously through romance between fictional characters a valid coping mechanism?

what do i do if ive become so disconnected from myself that ive even lost understanding of what my sexuality is?

i could easily kill myself right now and that doesn’t really scare me, is this a bad sign?

how do i die metaphorically, and be born anew literally?

is my relationship with the universe parasocial?

is my understanding of myself superficial?

is suicidality contagious?

is anyone out there?

I'm going to... [remembers suicide jokes are bad for your mental health] go to rusty lake mental health and fishing

masks and helmets that hides someone's face in such a way that they become the face themselves my beloved

these are all creatures to me

my god, this poem brought me to tears.. very well written.

i wrote a twin cinema poem about two gay soldiers in wwi

context: the two sides, read separately, are the two soldiers thinking about their futures with each other. when read together, it's a reflection of their final thoughts when they die together struck by bullets <3

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-08-22/food-plant-solutions-malnutrition-farming-edible-plants/12580732

https://fms.cmsvr.com/fmi/webd/Food_Plants_World

This guy is my new hero. I LOVE learning about native food plants that just grow everywhere without human help.

The database is a little clunky to use (especially on a phone), but still loads of excellent information.

What media should children be watching

they should have 10 vhs tapes they watch over and over again

when the club is fighting or something