I Can't Move🥺

Cicero oh so humbly asks the listener to make some headcanons about him~

Of course! Crackhead Crusty the clown, love the bastard. This is gonna be long. 

- Cicero is a very good whistler. On days where his voice grew hoarse and faint from speaking to the Night Mother for hours on end, he’d opt to whistle a sweet tune for her instead. It’s one of the few things he can do in the sanctuary that won’t get on everyone else’s nerves. Though, at times it can be a bit creepy. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night in a dark, underground cave, and the only thing you can hear is an eerie, solemn whistle from a direction you can’t even discern. The fact that he’s an actual assassin and a jester makes it worse. He definitely does it to toy with his victims and freak them out when he’s traveling with the Listener.

- When he was much younger and much less insane, he was a bit of a ladies man back in The Imperial city, where he grew up. He’s always had a knack for sugaring up his words, especially so by song and prose, even before taking up the jester persona. He was definitely very good at using it to his advantage in his youth. He could charm near any woman willing to make eye contact, whether by reciting a memorized poem, or singing a sweet song. His silver tongue got him out of sticky situations where he almost got caught on his jobs as well.

- Get’s very antsy after a while without being told what to do or given a task. He’s dedicated his entire life to serving the Night Mother and the Listener, and being without an objective for too long really bugs him out. He literally doesn’t know how to function properly without having someone order him around and have him do things for them, it’s kind of sad. 

- He has very vivid nightmares from time to time, where he’s back on his last contract when The Jester was killed. Only this time, he’s the Jester, and he’s under the raised knife of shadowy figure he can’t quite see. His chest aches from the action of manic laughter, but nothing escapes his open mouth. He’s wrapped in deafening, creeping silence as the shadowy assailant plunges their knife into his chest, again and again. He sees the night mother standing near him, peering silently, scrutinizing him with a disappointed and angry look. He knows she’s angry that he won’t laugh for her; instead, he’s dying in pathetic silence. No manner of grisly death or torture frightens this man, except the disappointment of his unholy matron. He’s almost shook back into sanity when he awakes, and many of the other members revel in the fact that Cicero is silent for once, unaware of the unfortunate reason why.

- His excessive attachment to the Night Mother stems from the unfortunate loss of his own mother when he was at a young age. On one summer night in the Imperial City, when the air was sticky and warm and the sun was melting out of the evening sky, his mother did not return from work. She was a strong-headed woman, hardened by a life of poverty and the struggle of surviving while raising a child alone. He scarcely remembers her now in his adulthood, but as a young boy he would trail her all around their small shed of a home, clinging to the ends of her tattered dress. She worked for meager pay as a seamstress, stationed daily in the back rooms of a clothing shop patching holes, sewing buttons onto robes, and trimming fabric. She never came come after the sun set, adamant on not leaving her son in the care of her elderly neighbors after dark. When the moon peaked through the dusk clouds, he was sent to bed by the elderly couple who watched him on his mother’s work days. When he awoke in the morning, and his mother still had not returned, his insisted on helping search for her. He was met with a firm “no, you should wait here while we go find your mommy” but he was not having it. He screamed and cries until they gave in and let him tag along. They had turned down an alley nearby at the sight of torn clothes discarded on the ground, and the old couple pushed him backwards and covered his eyes a moment too late, for he’d already caught a glimpse of his mother’s bloodied, lifeless body. He has no conscious memory of those moments, he has no memory of ever having a mother to begin with, and he has no memory of the folded paper left next to her body, with an inky black handprint smudged into the middle of it. 

- He spent a good portion of his childhood after that at a rundown orphanage. He was a loner among the other children and scarcely spoke a word. He spent his waking hours playing by himself in the corner, picking apart dead bugs and skeevers with pins and shards of glass he found strewn about. He’d giggle and chortle as the blood smeared onto his hands, painting on scraps of old parchment with it. Any couple looking to adopt would immediately turn their gaze away from him, and onto one of his peers. He went many years without being brought to a new home until one day, close to his eleventh birthday, a pair of men dressed in darkened robes with red embellishments made their way inside the orphanage. Much to his surprise, they approached him. He was sat on the floor, carving away at his wooden bedpost with a dagger he most certainly was not permitted to have. For a moment he feared they would tell on him and get him in trouble, but they did nothing of the sort. Instead they asked his name, and when he murmured out a very shy “Cicero”, they took him by the hand and led him outside and to his new home. He was educated from that day on about the ways of the Night Mother, and the importance of the Five Tenets. He was glad to see there were a few handful of other children near his age at the new home that the two men called “The Sanctuary.” As a young child, with repressed trauma from his mother’s murder, he ate that cult shit up and immediately swore unwavering fidelity to the Night Mother and Dread Father, and not for a moment in his life did it ever diminish. Not in the silence of his matron, and not in the presence of the false leader. 

- He really likes carrots because he finds it cool that they match his hair. Literally, that’s the only reason why. Ironically he also loves rabbits, despite hating most other animals. Probably smuggled a few pet rabbits into the sanctuary over the years growing up. Definitely pesters and prods the Listener/dragonborn to let him have one as well, now that they’re the leader and can demand the other members put up with it. Eventually he gets one and names it something stupid like Cornelius. 

-some more alive Ghostbur shenanigans-

Ghostbur: Did it hurt when you fell?

Revived Wilbur *on the floor*: From what? The pedestal I put my self worth on or in love?

Ghostbur: Oh dear... um... as much as I'd Love to save your Ego... YOU JUST FACE PLANTED DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS!

-

Revived Wilbur: I am having- and this is crazy, I'm having feelings again! Like some 14 year old kid or something, I- you remember feelings right?

Ghostbur: ... yeah I have feelings every single day of my existence...

Revived Wilbur: Do you?

Ghostbur *growing distressed*: Are you saying you don't have feelings?!

-

Revived Wilbur: Doesn't mater! There are only 4 rules you need to remember. Make the plan. Execute the plan. Expect the plan to go off the rails.... Throw away the plan.

Ghostbur: There was a plan?

-

Ghostbur: *playing with Friend in a flower field*

Revived Wilbur: *crunch*

Ghostbur: ...

Revived Wilbur: ...

Ghostbur: Spit it out...

Revived Wilbur: *crunch-crunch-crunch*

Ghostbur: DON’T CHEW FASTER–

there's a very thin line between bodyguard boyfriend and trophy wife and Crowley is balancing on it like a goddamn funambulist

I like to think that the Traveler subconsciously connected Lyney to Venti and that's why they took the betrayal so hard.

It's the only reason I can come up with on why they were so upset about it despite only knowing Lyney for a day.

You say chonky baby Henry, I say Henry's default is pudgy and he just hasn't been eating enough. The minute Robert picks up on his bad eating habits and makes him eat dinner with him every day, he gets his Chonk back, and anyone crushing on him is absolutely screwed because he is So Cute and So Handsome and looks So Happy. The battle for his affections quickly involves giving him snacks and taking him to dinner. Bonus happy side effect; Rachel notices Hyde gaining a bit more weight and is relieved that he doesn't look like a drowned rat anymore.

Ooo hurt/comfort bonus though; Frankenstein makes some snarky comments about his weight just trying to get under his skin and the Lodgers fukkin POUNCE and go off about body shaming. Frankenstein is in trouble for a while, especially with Maijabi (Henry's science dad), Rachel (who's been trying to get Henry to eat more for forever), and Robert (who JUST got Henry to start forming healthier habits).

CHONKY HENRY SUPREMACY.

I did confirm yesterday that I am a chonky bastard, and while chonk often can (keyword being CAN, not that it does always) make me uncomfortable, i LOVE chonky Henry. Chonky baby Henry chonky adult Henry GIVE THE MAN SOME FLUFF OK. Give me Henry being a fucking twig because he has a bad appetite and problems with remembering to eat and the MOMENT Robert realizes how thin Henry has gotten, he makes sure that bastard EATS like a NORMAL HUMAN BEING. Henry slowly but surely 1) getting a good appetite and 2) getting his chonk back because the chonk is natural and it's just like he is growing back into his skin. Actually having energy and his body actually functioning and Henry actually getting happy chemicals because he isn't starving. All those swooning for him swooning HARDER because he looks handsome and happy and ESPECIALLY when he actually has some fluff. Also henry getting stronger because his body can actually work on his muscles yes and PLEASE.

Frankenstein would be such a hypocrite about Henry and his tiny bit of chonk because she is built like a fucking bulldog. Maybe she would say that he is getting chonk because he is a lazy bastard and a rich aristocrat or whatever and teh Lodgers. WOULD POUNCE at her. Grab her by her collar and shake her like DONT YOU SEE THAT HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SICK CHIHUAHUA ANYMORE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I just... yes <3 Also projecting more hurt comfort by having Henry feel guilty and having those words nagging in him only for Maijabi, Rachel, Robert, and Jasper to just hug the shit out of him because dont he DARE think that it's NOT GOOD that he has chonk. Just. Yes pls <3

In short, Mumriks do weird things and Moomin is very confused by both this father and his son. The box is also named Mumrik palace, it broke shortly after the event depicted took place.

Sam: (drunk) hey! You’re my favourite bitch

Gabriel: I… didn’t realize I was your bitch. Or that you had other bitches

Sam: your other personalities are also my bitches, but this one’s my favourite.

Gabriel: awwww…I think?

Wholesome Cicero Being Sick Headcanons

So i saw this headcanon post floating around about how Cicero would handle the Listener being sick, and today I figured “okay, buuut… what if Cicero was sick instead?” :0

Since he was likely horrendously malnourished during and after his time in Cheydinhal, and because he’s moving to a new province full of different strains of illness, Cicero gets sick. A lot. 

He hides it as best he can as he continues to do the Keeper boogaloo unbeknownst to his family, often to the point where he overworks himself and everyone is freaking out because he’s passed out on the floor again

Tries really hard to make it seem like he’s fine, especially when the Listener isn’t around at the time, because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden to anyone 

meanwhile he’s somehow paler than he already is and his skin is literally on fire

Sore throats are almost a guarantee because of how much he talks, and he hates whenever he gets them 

There have definitely been times where he’s worked his voice so raw to the point where he just physically can’t speak, and it’s torturous for him. How can he jest in a timely manner if he has to write down his jokes?!

Him being cared for is absolutely torturous for him, too

He’s used to being the one doing all the caring, and having it the other way around really throws him for a loop

Lowkey feels like he doesn’t deserve the care, honestly

He gets oddly shy asking for stuff, even if the person he asked was the one who offered in the first place, especially if it’s someone other than his Listener 

He just feels like he’s on thin ice with most, if not all of the family for how he’s acted in the past, and being in such a vulnerable state where he kinda HAS to ask makes him really uncomfortable

He swears, though, if he has to drink another one of Babette’s disgusting potions that’ll supposedly make him feel better, he will scream 

Just tiny ol Cicero all bundled up in a cocoon of blankets, holdin a bowl of soup

He tends to eat very little when he’s sick

He’s very antsy about getting back to work and usually insists he’s fine and can get back to what he’s doing, but if he’s severely ill and he knows? He generally won’t push it. But he has to be like… actually bedridden for him to get to that point.

If you thought he was cold before… buddy, buddy ol pal,,, this bitch freezin

it is the one thing he will complain about consistently when he’s sick

you could probably throw him in the fire place and he would still be cold 

Both loves and hates taking baths when he’s sick - loves it because guaranteed quality warm and temporarily unstuffed nose. Hates it because he knows he’s eventually going to have to get out at some point, and it’s gonna be Cold. Very Fucking Cold. 

Definitely doesn’t sleep well at all when he’s sick 

Like even shittier than he already does, unless he gets something from Babette to put him to sleep 

just a very restless boi 

Some cute stuff, because I want so

Gabriel:I want to be loved

Sam:*covers him with a blanket*

Sam:*brings candies, ice cream and a cake*

Sam:*hugs Gabriel tightly and kisses him*

Gabriel:*melts*

Eyes