I Craved Desperately Some Great Savage Joy, No Matter How Immense The Suffering That Might Ensue…

Despair is impossible in humans. They often are deceived by hope, but are also deceived by the notion of despair. Let me state this plainly. People fall into the depths of misery, but they grope for a ray of hope as they are tumbling down.

Dazai Osamu, Pandora’s Box

Revamped art of Lotte :))

New Harukawa illustration, which will be fetured on next month's Young Ace cover

Oh no I like bsd

Something to look forward to at the end of this week!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

Thank God you posted! <333

Hi there! My fanfic is officially published!

You can read it here on

Wattpad :

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𝙸𝚗 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚃𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚘𝚗 ༒︎𝙳𝚊𝚣𝚊𝚒 𝙾𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚞༒︎

"Humans breathed and so did she" "Humans ate and so did she, humans felt and that was the only variable that fostered t...

Ao3 :

I will try to update the story as frequently as I can. I hope you guys love it as much as I loved creating it <3

My only expectation going into the new chp was that it was going to get worse... and oh boy did it.

Confessions Of Memories. | • 4.

1. | 2. | 3. | 4. | 5. | 6. | 7. | 8.

Mine never wanted me.

My father is something of a dead myth, and my mother was a criminal.

A perfect upbringing for me really.

Li Jing looked to the unfinished diary entry, the words burning through her pupils. Her eyes constricted, as she cradled herself, shoving it away with her foot. She scrunched her raven strands in her fist, as she chewed on her lip.

XXXX

My dream got eaten last night..

But I'm recovering.

"Xiao wasn't responsible, was he?" She sighed, to no-one in particular.

That was the truth. The secret that she so desperately needed to tell him. To at least chip away at his guilt- even slightly - wasn't possible. He would never know, because she would never tell him.

XXXX

I don't want to stay with her.

The page lay unfinished.

The next week after the entry, Li Jing was alone.

Loneliness plagued her life without hesitance. She dragged herself through a path that only led to more loss. Yet if she stopped, she would betray her mother. Being loyal to her mother was the only thing she needed.

She wished.

Li Jing shuffled to the door, quiet as she looked to the dawn that was illuminating him. Xiao was perched there, like his usual self. His breaths paced, body stiffly stuck in one place. She sat beside him, watching the sun glide over the debris of the moon.

"You really need to relax sometimes." She glanced at him.

"Hmph. And where's the time for that? Liyue isn't a place for rest."

"Then where is?"

Xiao hummed, looking to her arms. Her arms, were probably warm. But they had also probably forgotten him.

"Well what about you then?"

"History doesn't rest, so I can't either."

"Promise me you'll rest." His eyes clicked with her own, his tone soft.

"I'll keep the promise if you rest as well."

"Fine."

He leaned forward. He hesitated. With her eyes screwed shut, a soft warmth was pressed to her head, his sleeve dragging across the wood as he retracted. Li Jing's cheeks flushed, as her heart was pierced with ache once more.

"What are you guys doing?" The Traveller looked up to them, sleepy and worn with leftover fatigue. Xiao arched his brow, gracefully landing infront of the Traveller. Li Jing took the stairs down.

She linked arms with the Traveller, leading them away from him.

"The book you picked wasn't easy."

"Why?"

"The memories of the author are dead. None of their memories were clear."

"Then what are you going to do?"

"I'll need to meet this village's historian."

She brushed her hair rapidly, taking her two hairpins out of her side pocket.

"Who gave you those hairpins?"

"These? Oh."

"One is from Xiao."

Her face flushed red with fever. Days were blurring together as she looked to the outside, which had a quiet pond. The only thing keeping the days apart was Xiao.

His eyebrows were furrowed. Xiao leaned closer, his lips pressing a soft kiss to her head. Her eyes were heavy with fatigue, the cold cloth on her head slightly aiding her.

"Get well soon, please." He murmured, placing a hairpin in her hand.

She held his hand, a soft smile glazing her face.

"The other is from my best friend."

The summer sun was set on the water, as they padded through the sand, their arms gritty with wet sand. She paused, dirting her dress as she searched for an item.

"Mei your dress!"

" My mom doesn't care. Here! I got us matching hairpins! "

"What'd she look like?"

"I can't remember."

-

"I remember you! You must be the village historian?" Li Jing quipped.

"Yes, it's an honour to meet someone who has been documenting for centuries."

Her chest creaked with unease. She looked at his dark eyes, chuckling lightly.

"You knew the author?"

"Quite well actually. She passed on just a decade ago."

"I hoped she lived well."

"She did, being the great- granddaughter of Honghui. "

"Honghui?"

"I'm going to marry Hui! "

"You're only ten!"

Mei huffed, crossing her arms.

"True love doesn't wait, does it?"

"I can't believe she's dead. She was only 18!"

"Honghui is so distraught, he won't even leave his study."

"Yeah, he's an old name now. His tale is quite sad- moving on, you needed information for the book?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Make yourself at home."

"I'll be leaving in fifteen minutes, it's really not necessary."

She shuffled, tucking her sleeves to her side. The man glanced at her, his eyes lingering on her. Li Jing let her eyes fall to the table.

"No need to rush."

-

Happy Birthday, Dazai!

Western au pt.2

the shrunkly