Strongshape - Mishmash

You are not a machine. You're a soul who needs music, connection, sunsets, laughter, and small pockets of joy. Prioritize them like your life depends on it because it does. Lite isn't meant to be a cycle of stress and survival. Pause. Look up. Let the sunset remind you: you’re here to live, not just to hustle. Life is not a to-do list. It's a gift. Walk slower. Hug longer. Laugh louder. Love deeper. The clock may be ticking but your presence is timeless. We've been conditioned to believe that constant productivity equals worth, but humans weren't designed for endless output. We need moments of wonder, connection, and rest not as rewards for hard work, but as essential ingredients for a meaningful life.

34

It’s been a long week and an even longer day.

The grief is forever. I’m thankful he is no longer suffering.

depression tips™

shower. not a bath, a shower. use water as hot or cold as u like. u dont even need to wash. just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. sit on the floor if you gotta.

moisturize everything. use whatever lotion u like. unscented? dollar store lotion? fancy ass 48 hour lotion that makes u smell like a field of wildflowers? use whatever you want, and use it all over. 

put on clean, comfortable clothes. 

put on ur favorite underwear. cute black lacy panties? those ridiculous boxers u bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt? put em on.

drink cold water. use ice. if u want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

clean something. doesn’t have to be anything big. organize one drawer of ur desk. wash five dirty dishes. do a load of laundry. scrub the bathroom sink. 

blast music. listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

make food. don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. take the time and make food. even if it’s ramen. add something special to it, like a hard boiled egg or some veggies. prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something. 

make something. write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. even if you don’t think you’re good at it.

go outside. take a walk. sit in the grass. look at the clouds. smell flowers. put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

call someone. call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. talk to a stranger on the street. have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. if you can’t, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. even if you don’t say much, listen to them.

cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them. take pictures of them. talk to them. tell them how u feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out.

₍ ^. .^₎🌟(•- •マ

32

”What’s it like?” Perpetual confusion. A simulation of what it’s like to be a chameleon if emotions and personality traits were colors. Periods of suspecting people close to you are plotting to hurt you or have hurt you on purpose. Being aware of everything around you at all times. Remembering what you’d rather not. Torching the wrong relationships in spectacular fashion by lashing out and falling back into isolation despite wanting to escape it. Not knowing what emotion you’re experiencing or how to process it, and sometimes it’s like roulette. Assuming others’ intentions and meanings to be hostile or unkind because why would someone be nice to you? The persistent sensation of “otherness” no matter where you’re at or who you’re with. Disconnection with the world around you.

There is no enjoyment.

the "feeling like something is wrong with you that you have to hide" background noise is often a result of childhood trauma because an abused or neglected child who doesn't rationalize their mistreatment runs the risk of alienating themselves from what little shelter and care is actually being provided. it's theorized that blaming yourself at that age is a way to survive by coming up with a justification for why you're being abused so you don't blame your caregivers for your own suffering, thereby alienating them to the point that you are fed or sheltered or protected even less than you are currently. believing you may be able to "change" so that you're worthy of love also prevents despair/giving up. it's of utmost importance to the survival of very small children to develop a worldview that keeps them alive, even if it's by totally magical thinking and at the cost of their ability to perceive reality or navigate normal human relationships. the same thing can happen to adults in abusive domestic situations.

anyway once you're out of that situation it's time to get really pissed off

I hope you believe that you can still make a beautiful life for yourself even if you lost many years of it to grief, or darkness, depression, or a wound that wouldn't close.

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