For Some Reason, Nothing Hits Me Harder Than Seeing Characters Laugh Hysterically Because Of Frustration

Marigold from @zoe-oneesama's Scarlet Lady AU!

Also finished this postcard. The hyperfixation is real.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR SABERTOOTHWALRUS ALL LEFT AU FIC EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE YOU POSTED IT AND I JUST SAW THERE WAS A PART 2 AND ?!?!?!??!?!?!?!? I AM SCREAMING OVER UR WRITING IT IS SO SO GOOD

EVERY DAY?!? DUDE I POSTED THAT LIKE A MONTH AGO HOW—

But really, thank you thank you thank you so much! I can't tell you how happy this made me. The idea that anyone could like my writing that much, especially a short one-shot I posted in a moment of sleep deprivation and manic inspiration, is enough to make me grin my head off. Seriously, thank you. This made my day. I hope you like part 2!

Simon's even more sympathetic if you over analyze because he clearly has a mental illness making him afraid of abandonment, resistant to change, emotionally unstable and having immense difficulty relating to others. Like he gets worried about Hazel in the cabin when the Cat gets near her, its clearly foreshadowing the next episode.

Agreed! And actually, I pulled put the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) to research your suggestion that Simon has some mental disorder, and . . . you're right! He almost definitely has a mental disorder.

The criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder are: (not quoted, but paraphrased directly from the DSM-5)

Instability in personal relationships and self-image, impulsivity, indicated by five or more of the following:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. - check, this is kinda Simon's shtick.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, fluctuating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. - there's not much potential for a "pattern" here, but his relationship with Grace definitely fits this.

Markedly and persistently unstable/fluctuating self-image or sense of self. - Simon does not qualify—if anything, his inability to paradigm shift indicates the exact opposite.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. - violence, aggression, murder, all may or may not qualify. Simon ticks this box.

Recurrent suicidal or self-mutilating behavior or threats. - Simon does not qualify for this.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood. - In other words, subject responds intensely to swings in interpersonal relationships. Which sounds a heck of a lot like episodes eight through ten. Check.

Chronic feelings of emptiness. - We can't know whether or not this is true, because we can't really get inside a cartoon character's head. So . . . maybe?

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger. - This is definitely present in him. He has a temper, he shouts, he gets angry, and it gets more extreme as the show progresses.

Transient, stress-related paranoia or severe dissociative symptoms. - Simon displays this too—lines like "everyone always lies to me" come to mind as evidence. (No dissociative tendencies, but the paranoia is present, so he meets this criterion.)

Now, the subject of a diagnosis needs to meet at least five of these criteria to qualify for BPD. Simon definitely meets five of these criteria (specifically, criteria one, four, six, eight, and nine), possibly even a few more (two, perhaps seven). In other words, Simon Laurent has Borderline Personality Disorder.

I'm not sure what conclusion to draw from this discovery that Simon is provably mentally ill. Does it mean calling him "evil" is deeply problematic? Does it mean he could've been saved? Does it mean he can't be blamed? Or is it just as toxic to argue that people with mental disorders are not responsible for their own actions as it is to argue that people with personality disorders are inherently irredeemable? (Not that anyone's argued either of those points—I'm mostly thinking in frantic hypotheticals at the moment.)

And of course these questions raise other questions (well, one other question) that has been on my mind since I first heard Simon called "irredeemable." What do people mean by "he's irredeemable"? Do they mean he couldn't improve and grow after the events of episode ten? Do they mean that his actions were unforgivable? Do they mean he was predestined to be a murderer from episode one, unlike the redeemable Grace? "Irredeemable" has become Simon's buzzword, but no one's ever really defined it. And until I get a concrete definition, I can't slap that label on him and throw him in the garbage with the rest of the characters I hate. (To be clear, I'm not saying anyone's wrong that he's irredeemable, I'm just asking what people mean when they say he's irredeemable.)

However, one thing is clear: as Anon pointed out, Simon is easy to relate to, easy to sympathize with, and easy to pity because of this. We may not all have personality disorders, but we all have flaws that make our brains work differently from how we'd like them to, whether those flaws are anger, laziness, or selfishness, or a mental illness, or something else. Yes, few of us are driven to be murderers because of this, but it still means that we can feel bad for Simon, even as we condemn his actions.

Every time I post something about Simon and it's not ten thousand words long, I'm showing enormous self-restraint and deserve a few claps. Also, sorry, Anon, for using your ask as an excuse to rant about Simon. You made a good point and I wanted to explore it!

So maybe I'm unqualified to say this as someone who's never been in a relationship, but actually, forehead touches are much more romantic than kisses

Sharing books is so intimate. It's like . . . here is a book with hundreds of pages, I've touched each one of them and now you will too. Here's something I've cradled against my heart to keep it dry in the rain, and now you get to hold it too. Here's the thing that's lain on the table beside me as I sleep, and now it'll lay next to you. Here's the thing that's traveled with me across seas and over mountains, and now you get to journey through the world with it. Here's the universe I've been trapped in for days on end, the confusing and painful and beautiful events I've witnessed through these words, and now you get to experience the same things as me. Here is the thing that has consumed my mind and soul before, and now you get to let it consume you too.

This . . . this might be my favorite thing I've ever written. Well, of the things I've posted online, that is. I just . . . the music and the fluff and the cultural and synesthesia undertones, and the trust, and the singing . . . I'm actually really happy with how this turned out, which is a little unusual. I'm not sure if it'll be quite as heartwarming for other people, but hopefully you'll enjoy it anyway.

ace adrien?

Ace Adrien.