Please Call This Recession The Trump Slump.

Woe, aberrations be upon ye.

Radiant Squid

All-Seeing Cod

Anchovy King

Vortex Interloper

Ah yes, the 3 genders. Male, female, and “what the fuck are you, a cop?”

If I somehow manage to graduate this year, I'm going to unironically change my discord status to "I came back like a boomerang✨️🎀🎉" or smth 😭

I think this could fix me

Found out my dad applied me for my college's entrance exam without asking me about it

Being a non-lucid dreamer is so fucking weird

Like, I just had a dream where I was at the mall with my dad (normal enough), then I suddenly found myself in the makeup section trying out foundation for some reason?? And the foundation were sealed in these plastic bags that you had to rip into like a bag of chips, but it just didn't spill??

And I was like "Yeah, that's normal."

Then we're at checkout, paying for groceries and my vacuum sealed bag of foundation when the police arrive??? And two of my friends were there and helpfully gave me the context on why the police were here for me. Apparently I committed grand theft auto at some point, and that I'm under arrest

And I just "Yeah, that sounds like something I'd do. Makes sense."

And when I was in my stolen vehicle with my dad, I woke up as soon as an officer pulled me over

Something's gotten into my game of Hades. Now they're trying to give me cards.

Whenever my aunt springs her insane superstitious/religious cures on me I specifically remember when I was 17 and she got me exorcised. The priest was like "I don't think she's possessed" and she insisted "well there's something wrong with her, she's always [symptoms of depression] so..."

And the guy said some verses and touched my head and stuff then said I should drink only holy water for an entire week. Which wasn't hard to do, but my fav part of this whole experience was me saying I want to eat instant noodles and my aunt going "I'll make them for you. With the holy water he gave us." And then I had holy instant noodles