Guards! Read Me My Bedtime Yaoi

i am about to create an au SO self indulgent. the target audience is 1 person and that person is me

a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut

kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes

text your landlord

remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response

briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada

remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states 

look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”

remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you

enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday

order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.

exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.

return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open

back up

ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead

release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it

you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways

the door swings open

run up the stairs

open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat

cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home

write tumblr post

RINNEY ART⁉️⁉️IN THIS ECONOMY ⁉️⁉️🤯🤯🤯

song: clusterhug by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

i drew this instead of working so yall better eat this up😕 /j

(BONUS because i was olayiing around with the layers and found this masterpiece)

SEE YOU IN HELL, PUNK

you still fw deteionaire? (srry for shit spelling)

Hell yeah :> recently rediscovered it when an Out Of Context video popped up in my YT recommendations, and went "hey, I remember this!!" And now it's been stuck in my head for the past couple of weeks JVHSCHK

I'M DOING AN EXPERIMENT

To prove something to a friend, please

REBLOG IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

LIKE IF YOU THINK ASEXUALS DON’T BELONG IN LGBTQ+ SPACES

Painting Exercises

None of these are finished, but I thought they looked interesting enough to share :3

We all have that one show from our childhood that we loved deeply and were borderline obsessed with and one day searched up and learned was cancelled?? And you just watched the last episode?? AND IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER⁉️⁉️ And like, was the show perfect? No! But did it deserve such a fate? NO‼️ And now you’re just doomed to rewatch it every two years or so because you constantly forget some plot beats and inevitably you get to the end again and get upset again like why must the world be so harsh and cruel!!!!!!!!!

Anyways here’s mine