Hey Everyone! I Decided I Should Probably Start A Master List Of All The Fan Fiction That I've Published

David Bowie (1974)

𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🥁 ᴡᴀʀʀᴇɴ ʀᴏᴊᴀsˎ´

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🎸 ᴇᴅᴅɪᴇ ʀᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴇᴇˎ´

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🎙️ ᴅᴀɪsʏ ᴊᴏɴᴇs ˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🪕 ɢʀᴀʜᴀᴍ ᴅᴜɴɴᴇˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🎹 ᴋᴀʀᴇɴ sɪʀᴋᴏˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🫀 ᴄᴀᴍɪʟᴀ ᴀʟᴠᴀʀᴇᴢ ˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🎤 ʙɪʟʟʏ ᴅᴜɴɴᴇ ˎ´-

🎬 ᴄᴀsᴛ

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭👑 sᴇʙᴀsᴛɪᴀɴ ᴄʜᴀᴄᴏɴ ˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭❤️‍🔥 ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀʀʀɪsᴏɴ ˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭🏡 ᴊᴏsʜ ᴡʜɪᴛᴇʜᴏᴜsᴇ ˎ´-

- ̗̀₊๋-࣭☁️ sᴀᴍ ᴄʟᴀғʟɪɴ ˎ´-

Anything For You - chapter 17 part 2

Word count: 10k (bro??)

Warnings: smut. Smut. Smut. Smut. Graphic detail. Oral (f&m), piv, unprotected sex (like that shocks anyone), other stuff but yeah. Language.

AN: thank you for your patience as I’ve taken so long with this. I hope you enjoy ◡̈ I decided last minute to cut this chapter short. thought I’d give you something nice and wait on the not nice.

Masterlist

The hotel room could have been heaven itself and you wouldn’t have noticed, nervous energy flooding your veins as you sit on the edge of the massive bed. Well, not nervous energy per se. Actually, it was hard to identify. Some kind of energy that made it an impossible task to unlace your boots or take off your dress or do anything to make yourself more comfortable once you got to the hotel after the show. Some kind of energy that filled you with warmth so radiant and golden your vision actually spun. Maybe that part wasn’t great but still.

Jake was whisked away to B stage and you didn’t get a moment with him after that. You could say “not for lack of trying” but that would be a lie; you made no effort to stop the rockstar who loved you as he did his magic. Really, you just watched him in a stupid daze and tried to pull rational thoughts out of the spun sugar your brain had turned into once he said those words.

I love you, Y/N.

Alone in the hotel room, the thought makes you blow a heavy breath through pursed lips and shake whatever that energy is from your hands - like that was possible.

You stand and wander the room, trying to ground yourself in some way. Balcony. Brick fireplace. Huge, floor-length mirror. Vanity that could honestly be worth the value of your car. Bed that must be a California king. Or not. You’ve never owned anything bigger than a full. It was just huge.

Oh fuck. Sex with Jake.

Jake. Jake. Jake.

You let yourself sink to the floor, groaning and doubling over with your face in your hands.

Jake. Jake. Jake.

You can recall for a second how, just a few months ago, the thought of him would bring tears to your eyes. Angry, justified tears. Now you feel like a ball of frantic light that will implode if you can’t touch him soon.

You lean up to grab your phone from the bed to check it. No notifications from Jake. You do have Josh giving you a rundown of his view of the show and you’re able to focus enough to read it all and send him a few texts in reply, including your own thoughts and encouragement. You try to exclude your thoughts of Jake. You wonder if that’s the right choice.

When you finish sending those, you look at your thread with Jake again. Nothing from tonight.

Did he mean it? Did he regret it? Why didn’t he try to find you again?

Was he drunk and stupid again and you just didn’t notice? Were you so desensitized to it now?

You didn’t actually have a time that Jake would be back despite his promise to be “so fast.” You wished, in your anxiety-addled brain, that you had asked. Even if it was wrong or he got caught up, at least you’d have a reference.

Another groan is cut off by the sound of the lock whirring open and your gaze shoots to the door just as it opens and Jake is standing there, eyeliner smudged and an uncertain smile flickering on his lips.

You get to your feet as fast as you possibly can and just stand there like he is in the doorway. Silent.

Oh Jake.

He’s so beautiful. So beautiful. So nervous. His leather duffel is slung over his shoulder, post-show sweatshirt riding up on his hip and hair an absolute disgrace of a birds nest from all his on-stage thrashing and sweating.

He clears his throat, but his voice is still wavering when he speaks. “I didn’t know I was going to say that.”

You nod after a moment, the eye contact you keep at once anxious and safe.

When you don’t have a verbal reply, Jake steps fully into the dimly-lit room and lets the door click shut behind him. He drops his bag and toes off his shoes, padding across the floor to you until he’s a foot away, dropping to his knees before you. Like instinct, you hold his cheeks in your hands as his find the backs of your thighs.

Safe. His touch is safe. So is yours.

His eyes shut, brows unpinching as a sigh leaves his parted lips.

“I love you too, Jake.” You whisper, the pad of your thumb brushing over the seam of his lips as they purse.

When his eyes open into yours, there’s an almost panicked sheen to them. “Really?”

You nod, unable to control the smile that overtakes your face. “Really.”

Jake’s face floats through a series of expressions - elation, worry, confusion, relief - before his forehead tips to rest on your belly and he sighs heavily. “Thank you.”

You sink to your knees, his hands inadvertently brushing your silver satin dress up before they stop at your ass. You wrap your arms around his head to hold him close and you both just breathe it in. Safe. Thank you.

Pulling back, you hold his face in your hands again and kiss his cheeks, his forehead, his nose, his ears, his closed eyes, whispering “I love you, I love you, I love you” between every slow kiss. His hands come up to hold your wrists, chin bowed reverently until your nose brushes his, inviting him to kiss you. It’s gentle, a hymnal, a moment of vulnerability you swore you’d never give each other.

You don’t remember much of the night you accidentally made a baby, but you remember that you didn’t get to experience Jake. It was never something you would say out loud - the desire to be this close. The sadness you felt when you were with your ex and knew his touch would never be home was often overwhelming but here, now, with Jake wrapping one arm around to the small of your back and the other on the edge of your upper thigh, thumbs stroking soothing patterns, you cannot picture how you ever could have lived without him. Without this. Magic exists. It’s in Jake’s touch. In his kiss. His soft lips as they move against yours.

Your heart beats in double time when his tongue coaxes yours forward, deepening the kiss that has already laid you to rest in some other dimension. Dead to it all. Just him and you and your baby.

When he pulls back, he quickly wipes a tear from his cheek and you laugh softly, pulling his hand away from his face. You press a kiss to where the tear had fallen, Jake’s breath of relief fanning down your throat.

He wraps his arms around you and stands, lifting you onto the edge of the bed before kneeling in front of you again. One hand on the back of your ankle, the other on your calf, he looks up at you through wet eyelashes.

“You are everything I want, Y/N.” He breathes, kissing your knee, the same one he kissed all those months ago.

You smile, fighting tears of your own. “Oh yeah?”

He chuckles, reaching up to tap under your eye. “If I have to cry, so do you.”

“Wrong.” You reply, holding up a finger. “I made the rules. I’m in charge.”

His smile becomes sly for a second. “Correct, honey girl.”

Your heart trills at the nickname and you can’t help the tear that slips out. You quickly wipe it away, laughing. “Ignore that.”

Jake begins unlacing your boot and easing it off. “I liked being able to see you the whole show. Thank you for staying there.”

Your hands find your bump, watching him gingerly lift your other foot to unlace that boot. “I loved watching you.”

He pretends a faint pink blush doesn’t color his cheeks as he eases your other shoe off, rolling down your socks before kissing the inside of your knees and standing up. “We should stay here forever.” He states, guiding you to sit further up on the bed so he can crawl up and lay with his head beside your hip.

You lean back on one hand, the other still on your bump as Jake rests a hand beside yours. “The hotel? We haven’t made many memories here yet.”

“Wrong.” Jake corrects, laying on his side and kissing your belly. “It’s where you told me you love me. I never want to leave.”

You smile, the thought of how you felt about yourself only creeping up for a split second before your heart melted at the sight before you.

“And also I plan to give you some unforgettable moments here.” Jake mutters before looking up at you.

You laugh as you lay down, Jake coming up to rest his head on your chest. The tenderness puts this feeling in your stomach that feels almost like you’re about to throw up, but a warmth overwhelms it that eases your muscles into the embrace.

“I’m okay with staying here.” You whisper.

Jake hums in acknowledgment, then hums again when he feels more little kicks under his hand. He freezes like any movement would scare the little feet away, making you smile and kiss the top of his head.

“She likes you.” You note, resting your hand on top of his.

Jake’s sigh holds so much weight. “You think so?”

“If she’s anything like me, I can guarantee it.”

“I hope she’s everything like you.” Jake breathes after a moment of quiet.

You both lay in silence for some time, reveling in the careful peace, the room lit by one lamp that casts a warm, dim glow over the room. You’re still in your silver dress and jewelry, he’s still in jeans and a sweatshirt, and you’re certain you’d both never move if you had the option.

“I love you.” He says. It’s factual. “Thank you.”

“I love you.” You reply, running your thumb over his hand on your belly.

“I need to shower.”

“No.” You state, holding him closer. “Don’t leave.”

He chuckles, kissing the exposed skin of your chest. “Come with me, then.”

You sigh, heat blooming in your chest. “Mmmm let me think about it …”

Jake slips a finger under one of the straps of your dress and slides it over your shoulder, exposing the top of your full breast. “Think faster.”

“Someone’s needy.” You remark as he kisses the swell, not making any movement to advance anything.

“Someone feels disgusting from performing and wants to only think about you and not how sweaty I am.” He corrects you. “But also, yes. Needy.”

Before you can reply, he rolls over and gets up, holding a hand out to you.

You sigh dramatically. “Fine, but you have to kiss me some more first.”

Jake’s smile is dreamy. “I would love to.”

You take his hand and follow him to the bathroom where he sets you on the marble counter. The LED lights from the mirror make his eyes glow and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“You won’t be able to do that much longer.” You remark as Jake pulls his sweatshirt off along with the t-shirt underneath.

He stands between your legs and nudges your nose with his, pecking your lips. “Lift you?”

You nod.

“Wrong. I’m resolved to make sure I’m strong enough to lift you and however many babies we have for the rest of my life.”

Your heart skips a beat, your hands coming to rest on his chest. “Excuse me?”

He kisses you again, slower. His mustache is filling out and tickles your lip, making you smile. He’s real. He’s concrete.

“You heard me.” Jake mumbles against your mouth, tongue running against yours.

You run your hands down his soft belly and grab his waist, pulling him forward. “Maybe you should run your big plans by me first, yeah?”

He smiles, nipping your lower lip. When he speaks, he’s only barely not kissing you, neither of you wanting to pull apart. “Yes ma’am. Fine. But I will always be able to lift you, pretty baby belly or not.”

You tip your head back, momentarily overcome with that electric buzz Jake gives you. You loop your index fingers through his belt loops and go back to kissing him. “Fine. I accept.”

Jake reaches a hand down to undo his belt and you can’t help how fucking hot you find it, sighing against his mouth. He smirks. “I got you into the bathroom, can I bring you into the shower with me?”

“You gonna fuck me in there?”

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “Don’t be so crass.”

You laugh, all the while reaching down to unbutton his pants. A silent acceptance of his invitation. “How much do you remember of that night?”

“Which one? The night I learned you had a breeding kink or the night I learned the consequences of said breeding kink?”

A stupid one-two punch that leaves you laughing again, head tipped back so you don’t hurt his ears with the volume. He must notice, because he grabs your chin and tilts it back down again, kissing you softly.

“The first one.” You reply.

He slides your strap down again and kisses your shoulder. “Almost all of it.”

“Almost?”

“Well I remember everything up until the end. Which is torturous because I’ve been replaying the first time I touched you since it happened.” He kisses either side of your clavicle, grazing his teeth over the ridge.

“The end?” You ask, breath beginning to pick up.

“Making you cum with my cock deep inside you.” He answers like it’s nothing, but you press your fingernails into the back of his biceps, pressing your cheek to his dipped head. “I guess I remember parts of it. I remember the noises you made … but that’s probably because I’ve heard them many times since then.”

“Not nearly enough.” You correct him as he slips your other strap over your shoulder.

“Have you missed me, baby?” His voice is low and rough, one hand gripping your hip just firmly enough.

You nod. “Badly, honey.”

“Tell me what you remember.” He whispers, wrapping an arm around your waist so he can lift you up enough to pull your dress up to your hips. He’s taking his sweet time with you and you try not to complain about it.

You sigh, carding a hand through his tangled hair when his lips find the center of your chest, pressing little kisses, barely-there touches skimming your waist.

“I remember being so drunk that letting you fuck me seemed like a good idea.”

He chuckles. “How did that turn out?”

“Well, I’m in a beautiful hotel room being kissed by an even more beautiful man who gave me a baby.” You reply, and he hums against your skin, his smile evident in the sound. “So I think it turned out fine.”

His hands creep around your back and he pulls you into a hug, his kisses pausing as his forehead rests on your shoulder. You hug him back, wrapping your legs around his hips.

“My point being,” You continue. “I don’t think I have to worry about being crass with you, Jacob.”

This makes him chuckle, leaning out of the hug and unzipping his pants.

This is taking forever.

“No, I guess not.” He agrees. “But you’re mistaken if you think I’m treating you how I did that night.”

You hum questioningly, two fingers under his chin to guide him back to kissing you. So reverent.

He hums affirmatively against your lips. “My sweet girl, it’s all about you. I want you to take whatever you want. I’m all yours. Everything you want is yours. And I intend to savor you in every second of it, branding the feel of you all around me into my brain so I’m never without the mercy of the memory of your touch.”

The sigh that leaves your chest is one that would’ve been there even were you not pregnant. Heavy, heady, in love. In love. In love.

“I want what you want.” You reply in almost a whine, unable to bring yourself to accept his offer. Something lives in you that can’t accept that anyone would actively want you, even when they say it. You’ve been wrong before. You’ve accepted pretty words before. And you’ve been burned.

Jake shakes his head. “No ma’am. I said it first. I win.”

Your lips purse and you watch as he pulls away from you, stepping back and tilting his chin up in question.

“Fine.” You mutter.

A smirk appears on his face as he holds his hand out in invitation. “You first. I made a promise.”

You had forgotten his promise. Another wave of warmth fills your chest. “You intend to keep it? Really?”

He nods resolutely as you take his hand and he helps you off the counter. “I do. Now turn around.”

You turn and face the mirror, Jake’s eyes meeting yours as he slowly unzips your dress. He smiles softly and you can’t help but do the same. When the zipper is undone, he steps forward and holds the dress up with a palm under your breasts. You were correct about not wearing a bra being a thing of the past, but apparently that didn’t stop you, because you went braless with this dress too and the silver highlighted your peaked nipples as Jake gingerly slid the dress down your arms, over your tits, slowly over your belly, until it hit the floor - his eyes never leaving your reflection.

You wrap your hands around his arm that rests between your breasts and belly, silently giving him permission when his thumb loops through the band of your panties. They fall to the floor too and you don’t remember feeling so naked before as you do in front of the mesmerizing, mesmerized eyes of Jake Kiszka. You feel your heart rate pick up in a bad way, your eyebrows pinching together with nerves before Jake kisses behind your ear.

“Thank you.” He whispers. “You look so perfect carrying our baby.”

At that, you melt into his bare chest, all tension leaving your body. You remember how you feel with Jake - held. Safe. Safe. Like never before.

He kisses your shoulder and turns you around, kissing you again. “I don’t think I will ever get tired of how you taste.”

You smile softly, thumb brushing over his jaw. “The feeling is mutual.”

“I’m sorry I took so long.” Jake says against your lips as you hook your thumb in his waistband.

You look at him quizzically, head tilting sideways.

“To see you.” He says, hands on your waist pulling you closer to him. “I wish I opened my fucking eyes to you sooner.”

Fucking pregnancy tears. You laugh as you furiously wipe their tracks away, but Jake gingerly pulls your hands away.

“Are these happy tears? Or fuck that dude tears?” He’s trying to joke but you can see the worry in his face.

You laugh again, pulling him in for another kiss. His lips are so soft and warm. “Happy tears.”

“Good.” He smiles, trying to fight the worry. “Stay here.”

He steps away and opens the glass door of the massive shower, leaning in to turn the knob and testing the water until it’s where he wants. When he comes back, he runs his hands through his hair, making a sort of ponytail as he tugs and smiles nervously.

“You never said yes to joining me.”

You scoff, kissing his cheek. “Take your pants off, dumbass.”

It’s almost funny how you both waver in and out of nerves despite how you know how badly you want to be right where you are. He obviously does too. The worry comes from not knowing about the other person. But you’re trying. He is too.

You step into the warm shower and he follows suit, immediately wrapping his strong arms around you and kissing you, your hands on his cheeks. This is how you felt safe. If there were ever a statue made of the two of you, you’re certain history would depict his hands on the small of your back and yours on his cheeks while you kissed. You’re certain if you would be frozen in that second, kissing Jake, you’d be just fine with that.

“Fuck.” Jake mutters, pulling back and quickly yanking his big rings off, throwing them one-by-one over the shower door and onto the floor, making you laugh. When he finishes, he pulls you close again, just looking at you. You loop your arms around his neck.

“Remember when you ran me a bath when I got sick?” You ask, Jake’s hand sneaking down to grab your ass. It’s not seeking, it’s just to have you close. And you’re certain he likes your soft edges and curves as much as you like his.

“I do.” He nods once. “That would be the day after the other night I remember.”

You nod back. “Can I repay the favor?”

His eyebrows pinch together. “It wasn’t a favor, honey girl. That was- … that was because I loved you. There’s nothing to repay.”

Your breath catches in your throat. “You loved me then?”

“I think I- … yeah.” He nods firmly, eyes still uncertain.

You both stay with that for a moment, the dual shower heads drenching his hair and causing his smudged eyeliner to leak down his cheeks. You smile, brushing it away.

“Fine. Can I love you too?” You ask, and he smiles.

“Sure.” He shrugs with a faked casual air, but he gently grips your waist in affirmation.

You kiss his cheek and he sits on the bench that takes up a lot of the shower. With shampoo in hand, you stand before him and run it through his tangled hair, carefully undoing each knot with pinched fingers over the strands. His eyes flutter shut and his face is one of nearly zoned-out peace.

As you lather the soap through his hair, his hands come up from the bench and loop around your lower back, both calloused palms splaying against your wet skin.

Jake’s eyes remain shut as he speaks. “Tell me you love me again.”

You smile softly, sweeping suds from his forehead with your thumb. “I love you, Jake.”

A slow smile creeps up his face, a pink blush blooming over his cheeks and chest. “Say it again.”

You lean forward slightly to kiss his cheek, whispering in his ear. “I love you, needy.”

His eyes open at this just before you’re washing the soap from his hair. He blinks quickly and pinches your hip. “I’ve only heard it a few times. I’m filling my bank. Leave me alone.”

You raise an eyebrow, running conditioner through his hair now. “Is that what you want, soldier? For me to leave you alone?”

He shakes his head, eyes intent on yours. “No. At least not tonight.”

Now you pinch his bicep as he laughs at your gasp. “Ass.”

You twirl his hair, lathered in conditioner, into a bun at the nape of his neck. He closes his eyes again, hands traveling to grip your ass as his forehead dips to the top of your belly.

“Kidding.” He mumbles between kisses to your bump. “I’m pondering canceling the tour again, actually.”

“Sure, mister rockstar.” You reply sarcastically, rinsing the conditioner from his hair. “Whatever you say.”

He shrugs, his hum noncommittal between more kisses. “Unless you wanna come with me? Us? You can tattle on me to Josh if I’m an **ass.” He mocks you, chuckling when you spray the water on his face.

“You’re Uhauling, Jake.” You tsk, brushing his wet hair from his face and making him look up at you. Even with his gaze on you, he kisses your bump over and over. The smile that overtakes your face is reflected in his own.

“I don’t want to miss another moment. Sue me.”

You roll your eyes, grabbing the face wash to get the rest of his makeup off. You turning makes him have to sit back for a second, huffing like a child. You turn back and he closes his eyes again, lifting his chin so you have more access to his face. You’re gentle, trying to remove eyeliner without getting soap in his eyes, but he doesn’t seem to notice as his hands find the backs of your thighs, traveling up to grab your ass and squeeze, yanking you toward him. You laugh, steadying yourself with your knees bumping against the bench.

Instead of spraying him, you cup water in your hands and let it wash over his face, removing the last traces of his stage makeup and leaving him finally clean save for his body.

Just as you’re about to turn to grab the body wash, he makes a little noise in the back of his throat to make you stop and he pulls you close, all but lifting you onto his lap as he leans against the shower wall. You happily climb into his lap and kiss him instantly, accepting the millionth of a billion kisses you'll be demanding during the remainder of the night. The shower water running over your faces makes your lips slide together effortlessly as his tongue runs along your lower lip before meeting yours in a slow, steady rhythm.

You can’t help the breathy sound of anticipation that escapes you, one that Jake enjoys if you’re going off the smile you feel against your lips. His hands find your ass again and he pulls you closer. You can feel him growing hard between your legs and you sigh, sinking your hands into his hair.

“I’ve missed you.” You breathe, rising on your knees as Jake pushes you up, his lips trailing down your neck in open-mouthed kisses.

He just hums a reply against your skin, one hand leaving your ass to run up your belly until it finds one of your breasts. His reply, really, is the way he glides the center of his palm over your nipple and makes your breath stutter before his soft hand envelopes your tit and he groans appreciatively. You smile, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. This breaks his trail of movements, making him look up at you with such tender eyes.

You brush some fallen hair from his cheek and kiss his forehead. “What?”

He opens his mouth to speak but it just stays there before he shakes his head. “Nothing. I just … I’m not used to … It’s nothing.” He chuckles, flustered, trying to distract you with his thumb running over your nipple.

You hold his wrist, though absolutely appreciating how he makes you feel. “No, tell me.”

“W- …” He sighs in frustration, getting himself together while placing a long kiss to your sternum. “We’re about to have sex, right?”

You smile, your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Yes, baby.”

A smile flickers on Jake’s face for a second as his chest falls heavily. “I’ve told you about all the women I’ve been with before … right?”

You wince, but recover quickly in his hold. He moves his other hand so they’re both holding your pregnancy-swollen tits and you hold that wrist too, keeping him still. “A bit. But I’ve been around. I’ve seen them.”

He nods, keeping his eyes steady on yours. “It’s just … I don’t know. When you kissed my head I- …”

You lean down a breath to kiss him, feeling his muscles soften at the touch. When you pull back, he’s smiling softly again.

“I’ve never really had anyone be soft with me. It just startled me, is all.” His voice is small, his eyes flickering between yours.

Your sweet boy.

“I’m sorry, Jake.” You whisper, pulling him into a hug that does squish his face into your boobs. But that’s okay. “You deserved better.”

He shrugs. “Debatable. I’m just enjoying this now.”

You giggle as he squeezes your tits, and tilts his chin up for another kiss. You oblige, holding his cheeks in your hands and kissing him softly. Sweet boy.

When his thumbs run over your nipples, you remember where you are and nip his lower lip, earning a chuckle.

You begin to debate if you actually need to wash your hair or if you can just let him fuck you right there.

He must sense this train of thought, because he pulls away from your kiss and makes a dismissing noise. “I told you I’m not treating you like last time. You need to shower too. You’re gonna get glitter on me and I can’t let my brothers see that.”

You gasp, gripping his wrists again. “Rude!”

He laughs, kissing between your breasts again. “I’ll make you a deal, okay?”

You nod, biting your lip as the pads of his thumbs trace under your nipples.

“You wash your hair, I take care of you.” He states, handing you the bottle of shampoo. “Yeah?”

You sigh half-heartedly, taking the bottle and about to complain until his lips make a determined path to your nipple, making your breath hitch. He kisses the bud gently before running his tongue over it, making the muscles in your lower belly tense.

“Have I told you that being pregnant has made me so horny?” You ask, trying not to get lost in the way his mouth makes your heart rate rise dramatically.

He chuckles, kissing your nipple again and squeezing your breasts in either hand. “I could tell.”

You groan, squirting shampoo in your hand and slowly raking it through your hair, eyes closed, taking in how he pinches one nipple and licks the other. Fucking hell.

You massage the soap through your hair, your hands stuttering in their movements when his teeth graze your sensitive skin, a gasp drawn from your throat.

Jake chuckles, not giving in and returning to soft kisses on the other breast. “You’re fun to play with.”

The sentiment makes heat bloom between your legs and you groan as you tip your head back to rinse the shampoo out. He takes the opportunity to wrap his mouth fully around your nipple and bite, his hands splayed on your back holding you up as you arch and whine tremulously; your hand, half covered in shampoo, immediately gripping the hair at the nape of his neck into a fist.

“Jake!” You gasp, remaining arched back as his tongue laves over his bite and you shudder. When his name tumbles from your mouth, you feel his erection twitch between your legs - cannon fodder to your already burning desire.

Jake’s hand moves between your shoulder blades, gently urging you up while his other hand wraps fully around your waist, securing you against him. You look down at his face, his eyes closed as he sucks your nipple between his lips.

He looks like an angel, so caught up in his own world. You yourself begin to think of what he said. How he’d never been treated softly. But you look at his pretty, content face and feel his strong arms hold you in what is essentially a hug and … you’re lucky the shower is a good excuse for any possible tears.

You can’t remember the last time you were treated with such tenderness. Not before him.

You lean forward to whisper in his ear, making him release your nipple and groan. You giggle, holding his wet face in your hands. “You could take me to bed now.”

He shakes his head immediately, his eyes lusty and heavy as his hands both travel down your ass and to your thighs straddled over him. “Lemme take my time, honey girl.” He kisses you slowly and you rise up on your knees, your tits brushing against his chest and making him gasp against your lips. “I wanna worship you.”

“Fuck me …” you groan, trying to quell the burning desire that has overtaken your whole body.

Jake winks. “That’s what I’m trying to do, busybody.”

You tenderly yank on a strand of his hair and he smiles, turning to kiss the inside of your wrist. It melts you, and you can’t help but pull him into an embrace against your chest which does, again, squish his face into your boobs. He, however, doesn’t mind - nipping at the soft skin and humming contentedly.

“Fine,” You sigh, tilting his chin up but still holding him close. “As long as you’re happy.”

“Y/N, I would die happily with my face between your legs. There is nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Jake’s hands massage your thighs as you roll your eyes, earning you a teasing slap to your ass.

“Speaking of,” He starts and stands up, holding you with his hands on your ass as you wrap your legs around him. “Trade places with me.”

You lean your forehead against his, looking in his eyes intently. “There’s just no way you’re always so okay with giving, Jake. Come on.”

He looks genuinely confused. “Who said?”

You roll your eyes again, noting that he’s turned around and moved his hip to uncross your ankles at his back. “My entire experience with men. That’s who.”

He chuckles, easing you onto the bench and sinking to his knees. You run your hands over his hot, wet shoulders as he looks up at you through clumped lashes. “Not to ruin the mood, but you’ve been with at least one other man who you said is apparently just like me.”

“Don’t bring your brother into this.” You chide as he kisses the inside of the leg he’s putting over his shoulder. You lean back on your hands and watch his eyes flutter shut again, lips dragging on your inner thigh. And you’re reminded that you’re wrong about him. Again.

When his eyes find yours, you can tell they’re trying so hard not to flicker to where he’s exposed you. It makes his point. “Y/N, some day, I will prove my point hard enough for you to not doubt me again. But not while you’re pregnant. That’s a hazard.” He winks, his hands wrapping around the outside of your thighs and bracing them open wider. His eyes momentarily flutter between your legs and he groans, his lip between his teeth and eyes pinched shut.

Heat. Hot. He’s so fucking hot. You’re so fucking hot. Two different ways. Fucking hell.

Your palm finds his cheek and he leans against it, opening his eyes into yours.

“You have no idea how often I think about how you taste, baby. I think about how you squeeze my fingers and drip down my chin; how you whine and pant and make such pretty noises for me. I think about how soft and velvety your pussy feels on my tongue and-“ His chin dips and he takes a deep breath. “Alright, enough about me before I lose my mind.”

You giggle softly behind your hand, trying not to comment on the way his stomach tenses as he breathes deeply.

“Okay, pretty boy.” You croon, relishing in his tender kisses to your palm as his fingers press into the flesh of your thighs. “As long as you let me repay the-“

His eyebrow quirks.

“The not-favor.” You correct yourself. “The thing I want to do because I love you.”

A smile breaks out on one side of his lips. “Deal. Me first though. Please.”

Another playful roll of your eyes. “If you insist.”

Jake keeps his eyes on yours while half-heartedly biting the inside of your thigh hitched over his shoulder. “Good girl.”

You sigh, leaning back against the shower wall as his face dips between your thighs, tender kisses trailing the junction of your legs and your core. It would be so easy to get stuck like this, in some made-up heaven where Jake makes you feel like a worthy human and not like a masturbation tool. Where he’s not receiving or even, really, giving. He’s just worshiping. Coddling. Appreciating. Slow, deliberate, one hand running up and down your thigh soothingly. It’s not hot and heavy, it’s there for the long haul.

Please.

When his lips begin a trail of kisses on the seam of your heat, you bite your lip and whine. The teasing is fun, yes, but fuck if you haven’t missed his mouth.

“Please, Jake.” You whisper and he looks up at you with a face that assures you he will not be listening to your pleas any time soon.

In fact, he pulls back to leave open-mouthed kisses on your inner thigh before biting down like he did on your nipple. Your legs tense on either side of his head, a new heat flooding your pussy. You resolve then to maybe try and possibly just let him do what he wants, trust him with the pleasure he so obviously loves giving you for some reason.

Jake kisses your folds again, nipping gently before breathing you in, his eyes softly shut. “I’ve missed you.” He breathes.

“Me or my-” You begin to tease but he cuts you off.

“It’s better not to ask, you’ll only hurt your own feelings.” He says with fake pity just before licking a long stripe from your aching entrance to your throbbing clit.

You suck in air between gritted teeth, your head knocking against the tile wall.

He feels so good. He’s always so good. Alternating kitten licks and long, slow laves of his tongue, over your clit in languid circles or teasing your clenching center with a stupid, mocking smile on his face.

You reach forward just to hold one of his hands and he accepts gratefully, never changing pace as you bite your lip and moan breathily.

“Good girl.” His voice rumbles against your skin and sends shockwaves through your body. “Let me hear how good you feel.”

“Fuck,” You breathe out, chin dipping and giving you a better view of his cocky wink as his tongue flutters against your clit and you have to fight to keep your thighs from crushing his head.

“You taste like heaven.” Jake whispers, kissing your clit and pulling back less than a hair's breadth away, the fingers of the hand not holding yours slowly tracing under your thigh until they ghost over your pussy and make you whine. “And you sound like it too.”

You try to pull yourself back for a second so you don’t look too desperate and come right there. You’re not sure why, which makes sense given the only thought you can manage that isn’t related to Jake Jake Jake is how crazy it is that a shower can maintain hot water for as long as you’ve both been in there. But Jake slides his middle finger inside of you and a gasp rattles through your chest, shattering that one thought into a million pieces and bringing you back to him, his hand squeezing yours.

He keeps his heavy brown eyes on yours as he gratefully suckles your clit, his one finger dragging in and out of your pussy, and you’re certain that not only has no one ever wanted your pleasure as much as Jake … but no pretty face has ever been so erotic as his. Blushed cheeks, eyes fighting to stay open, lips wrapped around your clit and lapping so perfectly you momentarily think you’ll shatter right there.

You squeeze a fist in his wet hair and push your hips further against his mouth. He accepts gratefully, burying his face between your legs and making lewd, slurping noises as your legs begin to shake.

“Jakey, baby …” you breathe, your heart rate skittering in your chest. He looks up at you for a split second, just letting you know he’s listening while his finger curls upward. Your mouth drops open and you feel it. The Jake-induced orgasm you’ve grown to love just beginning to crest. Your head knocks back against the shower wall and your back arches as you squeeze his hand hard.

“Jake!” You half whine, half moan. “Jake plea- Jake don’t stop please.”

He groans, surely suffocating from how wholly he’s devouring you, pulling you even closer and drawing a gasp from you as the wave finally crests. Staccato moans bounce off the tiled walls as you come on Jake’s face, his hummed approval only prolonging the explosive pleasure that floods your brain.

“Good girl.” He croons, muffled by his proximity to your pussy, his swollen lips grazing gently over your clit and making you wince and whine. He smiles. “Good girl.”

Your chest heaving, you move your hand from his hair and finding his cheek again, your thumb on his pink lips. His own breathing is labored, his now-free hand squeezing the inside of your thigh, slowly and carefully bringing you down.

“You’re so pretty.” You breathe, cheeks absolutely blazing.

“Mm. Mhm.” He kisses your thumb and slowly guides your thigh from his shoulder. His hand still in yours, he guides both of his hands to your belly and kisses just under your naval. “Says you.”

You pinch his cheek and smile. “Now let me love you, baby. Please.”

Jake groans into a chuckle, tipping his forehead against your belly. “Don’t wanna move.”

You laugh, moving his head so he can look up at you. “I’m remembering that time at that guys party now.”

He looks half-drunk with his heavy eyes and pink cheeks. He looks wholly enamored. “Me too.”

“Oh yeah?” You ask, teasing.

Jake nods, his cheeks squished in your hands. “Remembering how I thought I would explode, yes.” He chuckles, then sighs wistfully. “I didn’t know how to explain the burning in my chest until now.”

“And what was it? Indigestion?”

He wrinkles his nose at you, smiling. “Obsession, actually. Gliding my tongue between your swollen pussy for the second time, knowing how you tasted but feeling again just how …” he looks at you in complete rapture. You want to suck his dick so bad. “Just how it felt to tongue fuck you and feel you come on my face. Fucking hell, Y/N … I don’t know.” He trails off, chuckling. He wraps his arms around your hips, still kneeling on the **definitely uncomfortable tile floor.

“Well I’m glad you had the balls to ask to me return the favor.” You whisper, your ass on the edge of the bench as you twirl his hair around your finger.

He rolls his eyes, reaching over and shutting the shower off. You’re immediately chilly and he stands, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around your shoulders. You pout. He mimes it back.

“What?” He asks when your lips part, drying himself off.

You finally get to see him. Holy fuck.

You squeeze your thighs together, eyes unable to leave it. Him.

“That was inside me?” You breathe, biting your lip.

You had never felt much attraction to dicks but fucking hell … seeing the man you love stand there, fully bare, hard for you … you had to control your breathing so you didn’t get lightheaded.

He chuckles, guiding you to stand so he can kiss you again, hands cupping your jaw and fingers tracing back into your hair. He breathes out through his nose and you trace your hand down his stomach until your fingers touch the patch of hair above his hard cock.

“Yes.” Jake smirks, one so full of love and humor. “Why?”

You shake your head, running your fingers down every so slightly. “No wonder I missed it so bad.”

“Excuse me.” Jake tuts, tapping under your chin with a crooked finger. “Eyes up here.”

You whine, kissing him in a short series of pecks where he nips at you at the end. “Please don’t make me beg again.”

Jake really is trying to seem tough but the blush on his cheeks shows you just how affected he is. He bends down to wrap his arms around your thighs. You hop into his arms and wrap your legs around his waist, going right back to kissing him. The thrum in your chest may be permanent if he doesn’t let you taste him in the next few minutes.

“You don’t gotta beg, baby.” Jake mutters against your lips. “I just don’t wanna hurt you.”

You groan, nudging your nose against his as you whisper. “Please, Jake. Please let me suck your cock. Then you can do whatever you want. I’ll be so good, I promise.”

The breaths Jake begins to take are shaking and flustered. “That was not the direction I thought that was going.”

You kiss him again and laugh against his parted lips. “Whatever you want, baby. Just give me this one thing.”

Jake accepts your lazy kisses while he thinks, apparently. You take the opportunity to wiggle your hips until you just brush his cock and he swears, hissing. In an instant, he carries you back to the bed and sits down. You’re back to kneeling above him and his hand finds your bump again.

“Tell me what you wanna do.” Jake’s breathy voice stutters against your skin as his lips brush over your jaw. Your hair drips down your back and you know you’ll make a wet mess in more ways than one but you can’t bring yourself to care.

You smile, tilting your hips so your parted pussy lips drags over him and he gasps, eyes pinching shut.

“That’s not fair, baby.” He grips your ass and lifts you to your knees. “I won’t last long enough for all you want from me.”

You laugh now, softly pressing a kiss to his ear. “I want to get on my knees and sit between your pretty thighs.”

He hums in acknowledgment, lips running over the curve of your jaw as his hands run circles over your asscheeks. “Just gonna sit there all pretty?”

You hum back. “No. I was thinking I’d see how far I could take you in your mouth, actually.”

Jake groans, pulling you closer to him so he can run you over his length this time. Your breath hitches and he grins. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to see what those pink lips of yours look like on my cock.”

He was infinitely better at dirty talk than you were. That was obvious.

“Let me show you, then.” You whisper, peeling yourself off of him and sinking to your knees.

“I don’t wanna- …” He licks his lips even while his legs part, eyebrows scrunching at the sight of you on the floor before him. “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You won’t hurt me, Jake.” You protest, kissing the inside of his knee and watching his lips part. “If you’re so concerned, keep your hands to yourself.”

He rolls his eyes but sits back on his hands. “Fine. Agreed.”

“Good boy.” You wink, taking him in your hand and pumping once, slowly. You remember that he hasn’t gotten off by your hands, mouth or pussy since that first night. Now, after both of you waiting for so long, a low breath escapes his chest as he looks down at you and he’s immediately dazed.

Slow pumps, kisses to the tip, Jake’s grunt is emphasized by the way he grips the sheets that are slowly getting wet from the drops of water running off his hair.

You open your mouth a touch to leave an open-mouthed kiss to his weeping cock. He’s waited so long. He’s so pretty. He smacks the mattress beside him in some attempt at control when you begin to leave sloppy, wet kisses up and down his length. He’s so heavy and soft in your hand, you want to grip him much harder than you were.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been this sensitive.” Jake breathes, eyes fighting to stay open as he watches you.

You smile, one long lick finishing with your lips wrapped around him. The noises from Jake goes straight to your core as you bob your head, flat tongue against the vein that pulses underneath.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he chants, again gripping the sheets and biting his lip.

He tastes so good. Clean and musky and warm. So soft on your tongue, so responsive when your lower teeth graze him. This was everything you had wanted.

You can see his thighs clench and shake as he tries to keep them open, your free hand smoothing down his calf and squeezing, prompting him to relax.

“I’m trying.” He whines under his breath, head tipping back as he fights the urge to move his hips. “I really am trying.”

You pull back just a centimeter from his wet cock, kissing it lovingly while he pants. “What are you trying to do?”

His smile is accompanied by a sigh. “Not cum yet.”

“Why?” You tilt your head to the side, hand still working his length. You love watching him fight to keep his eyes open.

Through gritted teeth, he replies “I wanna cum inside you, dove. Want you to ride me.”

Heat blossoms in your chest and between your legs. Fucking hell.

“What if I want you to cum in my mouth?”

The intensity of his gaze now was so much that you shift and squirm like you can ride it. Fuck.

“Later.” Jake replies gruffly, reaching down to ineffectively lift you up. You both giggle in such close proximity as he lays back and you crawl over him. His warm smile kisses yours, you straddling his waist and him burying a hand in your slowly drying hair, the movement shakes a drop of water onto his shoulder and his muscles tense at the cold. “Forgot we were wet.” He mutters, quickly going back to kissing you.

“You’ve been occupied.” You say between a kiss. “You’re excused.”

He hums mockingly against your mouth. “Mhm. Stop talking and ride me, baby.”

You know his bravado is only teasing but you can’t help the sharp breath that leaves you at his command. You push your hips back into his hands and he eases you back and forth over him, the short breaths that leave him panted against your cheeks.

You feel Jake freeze, his hands tight on your ass to hold you still.

“What’s wrong?” You ask in his ear, kissing his cheekbone.

He shakes his head, lazily kissing your cheek. “Nothin’. Need to calm down is all.”

You can’t help but feel smug. Really. Maybe you were bad at taking hints, sure, but seeing his pink cheeks and swollen lips, feeling his hips arch up into you against his will … even if only physically, you own him.

You lean forward enough to kiss under his ear. He sighs, his shoulders untensing in your grip.

“You’re acting like this is the only time we’ll ever get to do this.” You whisper, kissing a line down his jaw.

Jake smiles lazily, eyes barely open. “I’ve waited so long for you, baby. I told you, if I don’t control myself now, we’re both in trouble.”

You can’t help but smirk. “What do you mean by that, cowboy? Sounds like you have quite an ego on you.”

Jake squeezes your ass again, a gentle push to let you move again. You oblige, and you can see the instant regret in his eyes before it quickly melts into pleasure.

“I mean I’m not gonna last long enough for you to cum.” He pants, eyebrows pinched together. His thumbs find the crease between your belly and your thighs, using his secure grip to tilt your hips just so. “But we’re both gonna have to deal with that, aren’t we?” He mumbles, mostly to himself, capturing your gasp in his kiss when the thick head of his cock nudges your entrance.

You can’t manage a response, your lip between your teeth as you take his pained look as an invitation to keep going. Keep going. Fuck.

“I’m in your hands, Y/N. Use me.” Jake whispers hoarsely, eyes pinching shut like he’s trying to control himself, regain composure. “Just let me feel you.”

You’re so close like this, your foreheads pressed together as open mouths pant into each others. You sink down, pausing every inch or so just to feel him. You want to engrave this into your mind. Maybe this was your snowglobe moment. A disgusting, horny snowglobe moment, yes. But you’d give anything to capture every flash of light in the corners of your vision as Jake’s cock slides so effortlessly into you after you’ve waited to feel him again for months.

“Fuck,” you mumble against his open mouth. “Fuck, Jake … you feel so good.”

Jake just grunts, squeezing your hips. “Stay there for a second, okay? Just … don’t move.”

Your nipples graze his chest as you both breathe heavily, small whines and gasps shared between you as you both wait, letting the moment sink in. Fuck. Fuck.

Another subtle squeeze is invitation enough and you sink all the way down, your back arching your swollen tits nearly into Jake’s face. Apparently, he doesn’t mind. He presses a kiss to your sternum and hums when you move slowly, the aching slide where you meet sending boots of electricity through your skin.

You lean up enough to press your hands into his chest, gaining more leverage to lift and press your hips against him.

Jake takes the opportunity to grab your tits in each hand and present your nipples directly to his mouth, lovingly licking and kissing as you ride him. He is an image beneath you and you wonder how the **fuck you found yourself in bed with Jake Kiszka.

Pushing back ever so slightly, Jake’s perfect dick hits a spot inside of you that pulls the breath right from your lungs. His response to your sudden fluttering is a bite to your sensitive nipple and you both arch and groan.

His head smacks back into the pillows, his hands squeezing your tits as he breathes heavily. “That feel good, honey girl?”

You nod furiously, lip between your teeth. So good. So good.

“You’re lasting a lot longer than I expected.” You note, a lazy smile on your face as you slowly grind against him so he hits that spot over and over.

Jake tries to respond but gets cut off by his own pleasure, his jaw and arms shivering in protest to the rush of dopamine that squeezes his eyes shut. His mouth moves like he’s talking but he’s just whining. He’s so beautiful like this, sweat beading on his forehead and upper lip as he shakes with restraint.

You lean further back so you’re seated fully on top of him and it pulls a groan from deep in his belly.

He shakes his head but manages to keep his hazy gaze on you now. “I’m really trying here.” A breathy laugh escapes him but it’s short lived. “You feel so good, baby. Unbelievable.”

You smile proudly, content to watch the man you love become pussy drunk on you for however long he can manage.

But Jake stops you for a second with another squeeze to your hips that conveys, in the language you’ve somehow created since you crawled onto this bed, that he has something to say. But he doesn’t say anything for a moment, just looks up at you with sleepy eyes.

“What?” You ask, adjusting yourself on your knees and making him hiss.

“Tell me again.” He asks in a whisper, his face arrogant but sweet. “Tell me you love me while you get off on my cock.”

“Fucking hell,” you breathe, your head tipping back as you take in a full breath.

He squeezes again and you look back down. He knows what he’s doing and he knows what he wants.

You can’t help but smile back at him. Jake. Jake Jake Jake.

“I love you,” you whisper, grinding against him slowly but methodically.

You see his jaw clench, but he smiles. “Say it again.”

You rise up on your knees and sink fully down, Jake’s eyebrows shooting up as a ripple of pleasure shocks you both.

“I do-“ you gasp when he drags a hand from your hips to just above where you two connect, middle finger rubbing small circles over your clit. Fireworks bloom inside your chest and you moan out the rest. “I do love you, Jake.”

Jake hums affectionately, his finger picking up pace and making you whine. “You sound so pretty, dove. I love you too.”

Maybe he was more vocal about wanting to hear the sentiment but you wanted it just as bad, evident in the way your fingertips dug into his soft pecs and pressed crescent indents into his skin.

“Jake,” you gasp, his hips thrusting up just enough to meet your pace. “Jake.” You moan, jaw dropping when he perfectly hits your cervix just enough to make lava flow beneath your skin.

“Say it again.” He whispers, looping his free hand around the back of your neck to pull you down and meet him in a kiss. His lips stutter and your mouth falls open when the new angle and touch of his fingers lights the match in your belly. He must feel you fluttering around him because he whimpers “m’gonna cum, baby.”

You nod, trying desperately to kiss him as your pace becomes sloppy. The pleasure that floods your body makes you feel stupid as you lean back again and grip the wrist of his hand playing with your clit. “I love you, Jake.”

He nods frantically, lip between his teeth and biting hard. Before he can respond, his back arches off the bed, the most beautiful moans spilling from his open mouth. You feel his warm cum fill you and the sensation is what does you in, sparks exploding from your skin in every direction as you cum on top of him, your body shaking as you try to ride it out, both of your bodies suddenly becoming stupid with pleasure.

Just like before, Jake is so quick to wrap his arms around you and pull you close to him, his softening length still inside of you as you’re pulled underneath him against the pillows.

As he rests on his forearms above you, he maintains eye contact as he slips out of you, kissing you the second you begin to whine at the loss of contact.

“I love you, too.” He mutters into the kiss.

“I love you.” You respond.

“I love you.” He smiles against your lips, struggling to keep kissing you as you both smile stupidly.

“I love you.” You whisper, wrapping your shaking legs around his hips and yanking him closer.

“I love you.” He whispers back, kissing your forehead and wrapping his arms around your body in a hug. “Both of you.”

_____

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New Experiences

Sodo x female!reader(new Ghoul/replacement for Aether) 

Word count:1.8k

Warnings:Brief mentions of smoking/vaping(be smart kids, don't smoke), kissing, flirting, teasing, in general very fluffy actually 

Summary:The Reader takes the place of Phantom in this, replacing Aether and playing the Rhythm Guitar. She was a working at the ministry before and was always close to the Ghouls, especially Sodo. Now Papa decided, that it was finally her time to shine…

let me know if you wanna be tagged

PartI(you are here),Part II, Part III

Masterlist

To say that you were nervous, was definitely an understatement. Even though, you were supposed to be exited or cheerful, all you could feel was Nervousness. 

Eyeing yourself in the mirror of your dressing room definitely didn't make it any better. When you first went to the fitting for your stage outfit, you were almost going feral, excitement barely containable. 

But now? 

You felt like an imposter. After all, you were just a replacement. At least, that's what you told yourself, being sure that the fans wouldn't like you or boo at you. 

With a sigh, you sat back down and looked at the clock on the wall. It wasn't much time until the concert was about to start. You desperately tried to calm yourself, but it was useless. Being at the verge of tears, your head shot up, when you heard a knock on the door. 

"My love, are you alright?" 

You immediately recognized the voice as Sodo. He sounded softer than usual. And…worried? 

"Come in", you quietly said, taking one last look in the mirror, making sure that you didn't look too much out of place. 

You watched as the door opened and the, still unmasked, Ghoul carefully stepped inside. Only after a few seconds of staring you up and down, he finally spoke again. 

"You look gorgeous!", he breathed out, seemingly in awe of your outfit. 

"Really?", you asked, trying to hide the panic in your voice, "I'm not sure, if the fans will like me." 

"Oh, I'm sure they will", Sodo smiled and stepped towards you. 

He casually pulled you closer by your hips, your hands hitting his chest. As you looked up at him, he gifted you a heartwarming grin. You took the moment to fully gaze at his Ghoul form. His pupils a little blown and the small horns on his forehead, right below his hairline. The tail that you felt wrapping around your leg, while yours did the same. You had always loved his true form more than his human form, that he took in for his stage appearance. Something that you didn't do as often, considering that you didn't have to leave the ministry as often as him. But you had to get used to it. After all, you would be joining them for the entire tour. 

Sodo seemed to notice, that you were beyond nervous, so he softly placed his lips on your forehead, giving you a gentle kiss. Something you weren't used from him. 

"Everything will be okay, my love. The fans will love you", he mumbled and looked you in the eyes, "And if you feel uncomfortable, just come over to me and we'll play together, alright?" 

"Thank you, Sodo", you smiled, his kind words actually helped you to calm down at least a little bit, "I'll hold you up to that!" 

Sodo chuckled softly, before he pulled you in for a passionate kiss. Your heart skipped a beat and within seconds, all your negative thoughts were washed away. All you could think about was Sodo and how close his body was, how his lips were working against yours, slowly pushing you back against your desk… 

A knock on the door startled the both of you. You quickly broke apart and looked over to the door. 

"Yes?!", you asked loudly. 

"Y/N!? Is Sodo with you? We've been looking for you two! Come on it's time to shine!", you heard the voice of Swiss, the multi-Ghoul was exited to finally be on tour again. You barely had time to answer, as you already heard him stomp away again. 

" Here goes nothing ", you breathed, a little bit of the panic coming back to you. 

"You will rock this, I know it", Sodo smiled, kissing you one last time, before grabbing your helmet and giving it to you. 

"Are you ready?!", he smiled. 

You gingerly grabbed the helmet and put it on after changing to your human form:"Ready as I'll ever be!" 

You had to admit, Sodo was totally right about this. Even though, the fans were a little bit sad after hearing that Aether and Sunshine wouldn't be joining the Band on tour, they still cheered loudly as you and Aurora were introduced. The two of you smiled at each other and thanked the fans, before walking to your places. And the concert began. 

To say, that it was the best thing you had ever done in your life, didn't even come close to describing what you felt. There was a lot of bickering with Rain and Sodo, of course. The two Ghouls teasing you all the time and you couldn't, but tease them back just as merciless. 

Right now, you were just feeling the music and showing off your skills on the Rhythm Guitar. You were nervous about what you wanted to do next, but the adrenaline in your body finally allowed you to do it. 

As Papa was singing his lyrics, while standing at the front of the stage, you quickly jumped in front of him, strumming your guitar with all you had, leaning your body back and completely blocking Papa from the crowd.

And you heard them cheer and laugh for you, as Papa finally realized, that you were standing in front of him. He only shook his head, a small smile on his face and walked towards the other side of the stage. You chuckled quietly and continued playing, making your way over to Rain and Sodo. 

You gifted the two Ghouls a smile, as they finally noticed you. Sodo immediately walked over to you, while Rain just giggled at how Sodo acted like a lost puppy around you. 

You blew Sodo a quick kiss, earning cheers and screams from the crowd. You placed your foot on one of the small podest's, continuing to play your guitar. Sodo quietly sneaked closer and as he finally reached you, he carefully laid his head on your shoulder, since your were taller than him withy your leg propped up. 

The crowd practically erupted and it only got worst, as you leaned your head on top of Sodo's, inching closer to his body. 

From the corner of your eye, you watched as Rain stepped closer now too. The song just ended and he handed you something. You were surprised at first, but then noticed, that it was vape. You grinned at Rain, as he walked away. 

You nudged Sodo's shoulder, so that he looked up at you. You showed him the vape and he nodded. You carefully brought it to his lips and he took a deep breath in. He held it for a few seconds, only staring you down, before blowing the entire smoke into your face. You tried not to react and stay still, but you struggled a bit not to cough. 

Meanwhile the fans seemed to go feral about your little interaction with the fire Ghoul. But at this moment, you didn't really care, you only had eyes for Sodo. 

As the smoke had vanished, you handed Sodo the vape and he grinned, knowing what you wanted. And just as you did it before, he lifted the vape to your lips and you took a deep breath in, also trying to hold it for a few seconds. But as you were about to blow it out, Sodo moved his face closer to yours, lips almost touching. 

At this point, you couldn't hold it in any longer, you breathed out and while some smoke just dissolved into the air, a part of it was taken up by Sodo, who only breathed it out towards you again. You chuckled at this, knowing that he used to do this with Aether before. 

As all the smoke had vanished again and you where about to play the next song, Sodo pulled you closer one more time, giving you a strong hug, both his arms engulfing you entirely. You couldn't contain your laughter and hugged him back just as tight, before you had to part again in order to play the next song. 

After many more songs and many more interactions, not only with the Ghouls but also with your fellow Ghoulettes, it was time to say goodbye to the crowd. 

You and the other's were walking around, throwing your picks into the crowd. You were currently at the front of the stage, also cheering and thanking all the people that had come today. You even kneeled down and shook some hands, as one of the fans in the front rows handed you a black rose. You looked at It perplexed and pointed a finger at yourself, as if to ask if it was really for you. The person nodded strongly and showed a heart with their fingers. You were close to tears at this point, feeling so much appreciation for the people that had come today. You wanted to show a heart sign too, but had the rose still in hand, so without thinking, you slipped it into you mouth to repeat the fan's action.

 Loud cheers erupted and at first you were confused and then you noticed that it was because of the rose between your lips. You laughed and quickly took it out again, mimicking being pierced by armors arrow in the heart because of how sweet the fans were. 

After your little interaction with the crowd, you walked back to the others and you all said your goodbyes, bowing together, before finally getting off stage. 

Being finally able to take the helmet off, was definitely a relief. What you didn't expect, was Sodo running towards you and engulfing you in his arms, lifting you into the air and spinning you around. 

"You were awesome, my love!!", he smiled, before letting you back down. 

You only giggled and softly kissed his cheek:"So were you, dear." 

"I told you, it would be alright", he smiled proudly, while his Ghoul form slowly returned. You could already see the horns on his forehead, starting to grow again. 

"Thank you for everything", you mumbled, leaning into his side, as you made your way to the dressing rooms, ready to shower and change into something comfortable for the night. 

"Of course", Sodo uttered, "And by the way, I think the Fans absolutely loved you!" 

You could only smile, looking at the rose still resting in your hand:"I loved them too, to be honest. They were very supportive." 

"I think this tour will be the best one yet", Sodo stated, opening the door of your dressing room for you, as you finally reached it. 

"Why? Because you can even tease me on stage now?", you asked jokingly. 

"That, and because I get to play with my favorite person in the world now!",he grinned. You blushed a bit, but nodded and before he could say something more, you grabbed the black tie, that was loosely hanging around his neck and pulled him into the dressing room, the door slamming shut behind you. 

You hoped, that no one would be interrupting you this time. 

Thomas Edwin Mostyn (English, 1864-1930)

Womanhood

You matter to me

Eddie Roundtree x Fem!Reader

✧.* requested by @itzajeanspears — Hi!!! Love your writing so much!! Not sure if you’re still doing requests lol, butttt I have a really specific one so if you’d be able to do this I’d like actually die omg. Okay so I’m a fashion student from LA and I was thinking, the reader is like basically siblings with billy and Graham, (her dad and their mom started dating when they were kids so they were practically raised together) but she’s closest with Eddie in particular. They’re best friends. They’ve basically been attached at the hip since they were kids. They’re both secretly harboring feelings for each other and everyone knows it but themselves. She’s been there for them since the band started, like Camilla, making them outfits for gigs and stuff. and Eddie even takes her to prom when her date ends up being a jerk to her. Butttt the reader ends up moving to LA to go to fashion school (maybe eventually she can be their costume designer for the aurora tour 🙏) and Eddie slowly stops talking to her god knows why. Fast forward- The band moves out to LA and they stay with her until they’re stable enough to be out on their own. The tension is super high between her and Eddie and EVERYONE notices. Super Angsty. Ends in fluff and love confessions 🫶 maybe angry billy lol. AGAIN THANK YOU!!! I know that was super complicated. YOUR WRITING AND EDITS ARE AMAZINGGGG !!

✧.* you're reading part two, here's the part one — A letter?

✧.* summary — Eddie was waiting for your response, and when it never came... A wall was built between you.

✧.* warnings — none.

✧.* word count — 3.5k

✧.* 🎸 — Eddie's masterlist

✧.* mandy's notes — I know it took me forever!!! I'm so sorry, please enjoy! And let me know your thoughts about it :)

I have no idea how to start this, my head has been a mess since our last conversation. I'm sorry for the way I left, I should've been more polite involving all we've been through in the last couple of months. I confess that I don't understand why you thought I couldn't support you in this situation, I've seen you dreaming about this day since I was ten years old, where we chatted about school and unattainable plans for the future… Seeing you achieve everything you dreamed of is like being hit by a ray of sunshine, I am deeply proud of you.

I wish you all the best on this new journey in your life, you are great and your talent is not left behind! Know that you wouldn't be there if it weren't for all your extraordinary talent. There is something in everything you do that exudes originality and no one can take that away or dispute it from you.

I decided to respect your choice and not go to see you on the day of your departure, I confess that this is demanding a lot from me, but I do everything to see you well. I hope you have a great trip and a great life there too.

I don't want to lie to you, I really hope you write me back, I have a huge hope that you'll give me another chance and we can work things out... I'll understand if you don't want that, I just want you to keep in mind that I love you. Fly towards your dream, and when you miss home, maybe my words will warm your heart.

Yours, Eddie Roundtree.

The bassist seals the letter with trembling fingers, he knew you would leave tomorrow and he still had his doubts about what he was going to do.He wanted to come see you before the match, kiss you gently, hug you as if you were going to escape at any moment... But he couldn't, if that was your choice he would respect that.

He knocks on the Dunne house three times, his hands trembling as he waited impatiently with the letter in hand.

"Eddie? What are you doing here so early my dear?" Mrs Dunne's sweet voice asks, she was quiet, probably because she was the only one awake in the house.

"I— I came to give this to Y/N." He extends the paper to her, confused, the older girl takes the object.

"Do you want to come in?" She asks, opening the door for him.

"No no, thank you." He seemed nervous, afraid that you would show up at any moment. "I really just came to leave this"

The madness was crazy the morning you were going to leave, you waited in secret for Eddie, a hope that he would appear was growing in you even though you wanted to kill it. Everyone else had made a point of saying goodbye, even Warren had stopped by to leave you some chocolate for the flight, but nothing from your boyfriend.

That's what you were, right? After all, there was no ending, not formally in so many words... Anxiety made you fear that when he left that had been your final point.

You open your arms to hug your considerate mother, Mrs. Dunne had been very present to you since she came into your life and saying goodbye was harder than you thought.

"I'll miss you so much." Her choked voice says, and you hold her closer.

"Oh honey, I'll miss you too." She answers, still holding you. "Anytime you need us, you just have to call. You have a family here."

At this point you were already in tears, and you let the hug go to wipe them away.

"Look." She starts to say, opening her bag to hand you something. "Eddie asked me to give you this."

Your eyes widen, you take the letter in your hands and leave for your new life.

…

You open the drawer of the nightstand next to your bed and return the letter to the place it always rests still not being able to open it, a sigh leaves you as you relive the night you had just had. Now that you were in the same city everything was more vivid, it was like living your teenage years again and it was frustrating. Of course you missed your friends and your brothers, but feeling Eddie's look at the back of your head was a huge distraction that kept increasing many questions in the same.

Eddie let the air out of his lungs as his body collapsed onto the bed he had fought for hours with Warren for, He lights a cigarette while staring at the ceiling and gradually sees the smoke draw your face, He hated how all the feelings he had put so much effort into hiding returned like the tide flooding over him, it was frustrating how you could make his heart race in a way no drug could ever manege to.

He knew that maybe all he had to do was just get over it, and that's all he was trying to do since you left Pittsburgh and him. Eddie was never the kind to get attached to relationships easily, he was used to having one night stands or just casual dating, so when his heart was captured by your gaze and the funny feeling of falling in love... He didn't know what to do.

The cigarette had come to an end and sleep had not even threatened to arrive, Roundtree sits on the bed regretting it before even finishing what he planned to do. He might not have talked to you during the party, but he was a good listener, something he didn't know if it was a blessing or curse until then.

He puts his leather jacket over the blouse he had worn to the party he attended hours ago, also grabbing some cigarettes before going down the stairs of the new house towards the keys to Rojas' van. He considers going to the drummer's room to tell him that he had borrowed the vehicle, but settles for writing a note in letters large enough for him to notice while he looks for it.

He let in his breath once again, shaking his head as he starts the van and heads towards what haunts his mind.

...

The three rings on the door make you lazily get out of bed, your arms go to the blouse thrown on the table before answering.

"Eddie?" You say between shock and yawn, your hands fix your hair automatically.

He avoids your gaze, looking directly at the ground as if he is very anxious. You wait for an answer, but nothing comes out of his mouth, you take a step forward taking his hand and leading him inside.

"Is everything okay?" You ask, after you both sit at the table in your living room.

"I don't know." He lets it out, wondering if he should actually do what he had planned. "I wanted to talk to you about everything."

"In the middle of the night?" You let out a weak laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"I couldn't sleep, sorry I woke you up." He looked embarrassed, but it was as if being there was more comfortable than anything he had been doing before knocking on the door.

"We can talk, no problem.”

"With us moving here I imagine we'll see each other more often than we have over the years." He looks you in the eyes, the red of the cigarette in them. "And I don't want there to be a fight between us, I don't want there to be things that aren't clear."

You let the air out, trying to look as if you were mature for this situation. "What do you mean by that?"

"Even with our history, is everything ok between us?" He wanted to tell you that the answer was no, that he hadn't forgotten you, but it stayed in his throat just like the growing knot.

"For me yes, but for you I'm not sure." You are honest, letting the frustration go with your words. "You were the one who ignored me the whole party, I felt seventeen again."

"You don't need to be sarcastic." He says rolling his eyes.

"Since when do you call the truth sarcasm?" He arches his eyebrows at your response, you click your tongue against the roof of your mouth. "What I meant is that I'm over it, I just don't know if you are."

"You know what..." He gets up, adjusting his jacket on himself. "I think we've cleared that up, let's just be polite to each other and that's it. I see you around."

"You're kidding right?" A mocking laugh is let out by you, disbelief shines through. "Is that what you consider resolution?”

"I'll see you around." He says, you get ready to close the door. "Let's just keep things between us, like before."

Your eyes roll back and you slam the door shut, anger and confusion rising in your chest. How can he just show up in the middle of the night to turn your life around like that? You only feel the tears when they fall on your arm, was it frustration? You preferred to believe so, but seeing him treat you with so much indifference was painful.

Still angry, you go to the nightstands and open the drawer to take the letter in hand. Your vision blurred with emotions growing, you tear it apart and as soon as the first cut is made the rest are just a trigger for the pieces on the floor. You cry, regretting it and at the same time wanting to disappear... It hadn't even been twenty four hours since he had returned to your life and everything was chaos.

You collect the pieces and place them inside the box you found, trying your best not to glue the pieces together to read something that could be your answer.

...

You had done a good job of trying to forget about Eddie Roundtree, you had gone out with a few people and avoided running into him as much as possible when you met the band. But that became impossible when his brother went to rehab and his niece was born.

You moved into their house to help with the baby, Camila had never been so vulnerable and you couldn't feel more angry at Billy than in those first few months. Of course, you knew he wasn't one hundred percent to blame, addiction wasn't easy and it made you very sad to know he was like this.

Your move wasn't complete, you slept there some nights and other nights you went back to your house or studio to create some pieces of clothing. It was hard to face Eddie every day, but you two made a point of avoiding each other as much as possible.

It was hard to remember why you didn't like Eddie much when he was being so kind every day by your side, you start to remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. He was kind, funny, he helped everyone, but he was still the one that left you. And that was certainly the impasse for you to sympathize with him once again.

Night fell on the horizon as you leaned over the counter, a cigarette between your lips as you thought about everything at the same time.

"I see you still like the sunset, sunshine." The nickname makes your spine shiver, you don't turn around, you just let him get closer to you. "It always reminds me of you."

The chill comes to your belly, you turn away in disbelief. "What are you doing?"

He rolls his eyes, “Trying to get along with you, is it that hard?"

You let out a sigh, avoiding his eyes. "You want us to be friends?"

"What's the harm on that?" he asks, resting himself.

You shrug, trying your best not to ask every single question that haunted you over the years.

"You made yourself pretty clear that day in my place." That's all you say.

"Why are you acting like I'm a bad guy?" He's confused, upset in his eyes.

"You can't just keep doing this to me, appearing in my life and just leaving me!" You let out your frustrations, he looks at you without understanding. His gaze fixed on your eyes was overwhelming.

"What do you mean?" His voice was trembling, he took a deep breath. "Look, I know I acted childish that night, I shouldn't have just popped at your place and said those things. But I mean what I'm doing right now, I made one mistake... You're really going to blame me for the rest of my life?"

"One mistake?" You tried your best to hold back your urge to cry. "Look Eddie, it's been a long time. I understand if you forgot everything we've been through, I don't want to..."

"You're acting like I didn't care for you. Like I don't care." His voice was calm, it left you disconcerted.

"How can you say that you care for me if you haven't even reached for me all these years?" You turn to face the sky, trying to keep calm.

"I was respecting you!" He avoided coming closer, even though he wanted to take your hand in his. "I told you that! I—...

He stops when he sees your confused eyes, concern takes over his.

"You didn't read the letter, did you?"

You swallow hard, he waits for your answer but you open your mouth and close it without saying anything.

"Did you receive it?" He asks, you nod your head. "I don't understand..."

"I never read it." You confess, looking at your feet.

"Why?" He felt exposed, hurt.

You don't answer, he seems devastated.

"Fuck." He says passing his hands through his hair. "I can't believe this."

He left, leaving you alone with the sunset.

You made a point of coming home that day, there was no way you wouldn't go back to read that letter, your heart was aching with all the emotions that came up this afternoon. You were overwhelmed and feeling guilty, but at the same time confused... You needed answers.

When you managed to put the pieces together it was difficult to tell what was there, but your body softened and your heart tightened. There was your answer.

...

Daisy Jones was responsible for the band's growth after Billy's relapse, 'Honeycomb' was a masterpiece and the whole world knew it when those chords sounded on the radio. You were happy and proud for all of them, it was great to see them all achieving a dream that you followed from the beginning.

You were really excited to go on tour with them, You had already made many different pieces and I'm really looking forward to seeing them using what you created for them from the beginning. Today was the day of the first show, if you weren't even going to be on stage, you were nervous, you couldn't imagine how they were.

You couldn't contain the tears of emotion when you saw them there, the fans screaming excitedly and a long-time dream coming true, it was an amazing feeling and you were so happy to be part of this somehow.

It wasn't easy to deal with the information about the last situation you had with Eddie, of course, Billy had returned and you had spent less time together but that whole scene never left your mind. You tried to expel the flashes as much as possible while pretending to listen to what Camila was saying.

"Swetie, are you paying attention to me?" She says between a laugh, the music from the celebration party made it hard to hear her.

"Aham." You lie, watching Eddie talk to Warren and another girl you didn't know a few steps away. Camila follows your gaze, and turns with an arched eyebrow.

"What's going on?" She asks, her voice softly.

"I feel like I'll never be able to leave what we had behind me." You felt the words leave your mouth with honesty for the first time in a while.

"Have you told him that?" She asks, looking between you and him.

"I'm pretty sure he hates me, so..." You let out a breath, trying to hold back your tears.

"Eddie could never hate you Y/N."

"How can you be so sure?" You take a sip of your beer, avoiding looking at the distant group.

"Oh honey, if you only knew how many times he told me how he felt... How many songs I heard—

"Songs?" You cut her off, holding her arm. "He wrote songs about me?"

"Many." She responds, stroking his hand with a motherly affection. "You should talk to him."

You gather all your strength to follow her advice, and little by little you get closer to them. Warren is the first to notice you, waving in a comical way for you to come closer, Eddie avoids your eyes, the girl greets you with a small smile.

"Hey guys, the show was amazing." They smile at your congratulations. "I'm really proud of you guys."

"Thank you sunshine." Eddie says, almost regretting using the nickname. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay." You say under your breath. "Look, can we talk alone for a second?"

"Sure." He turns to Rojas and the curly-haired woman. "I'll be right back."

Automatically you take his hand and guide him to a more private place, it's a few seconds of silence before you know how to start. He doesn't rush you, he just waits for you to feel good to begin with what you had planned.

"I read your letter." That's all you can say, he swallows hard. "I'm sorry it took me so long..."

"It's okay, it doesn't matter anymore." He tries to say, but you cut him off.

"It does! It matters and you know it." Tears manage to fill your eyes. "We matter for each other, you matter to me... And I don't know about you, and I know it's probably too late but I can't forget you."

He takes a step closer to you, never taking his eyes off of you. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I love you." A choked laugh comes out of you, it was impossible to contain it all longer.

"Fuck." He holds your face in his hands, touching your foreheads together. "Please, don't mess with me." He jokes.

"I'm done building this wall between us." Her voice was honest, her eyes never stopped staring into his. "I just want to be with you."

He kisses you, a kiss you've missed for years, a connection of souls, an inexplicable feeling. His hands cupped your cheeks and caressed your skin, you pulled him close to feel him after so long. He would always be your point of comfort.

"I love you too." He whispers against your lips, your eyes closed. "I love you so fucking much."

"I know it took a while but I kind of want to stay with you." You joke, he lets out a laugh.

"We can tell our children that we've been dating all this time, they don't need to know about this hiatus" He says while caressing your hair.

"Children?" Rojas' voice made you jump in fright. "Damn, you guys are emotional, huh?"

...

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Scavengers Reign (2023)