Psyche Revived By The Kiss Of Love, 1793, By Antonio Canova 1757-1822)

さむい by りー

[Image description: A flower garden is surrounded by a high brick wall. We see a door in the wall has swung open, but perhaps usually the door is kept closed and locked so that the garden is private and secret. On the ground in the garden there are bright red flowers on the left, and on the right a mix of pink and purple flowers. The brick wall is covered with green-leafed vines. The door is painted light gray, but the paint is old and faded.]

When I go out into the world where the so-called normal people live, I sometimes feel resentful that I have to remain silent about so many things that interest and appeal to me. I feel I have to remain silent, because if I talk about these things I may get enthusiastic and go on for too long, and other people will find this annoying. In any case, they don’t want to hear about them. When I get enthusiastic, I get hopeful that they too may find these things interesting, but I am almost always disappointed. So it’s safer to be silent about them.

On the other side, I feel disdain for them and I also feel sorry for them. I think: “I have a secret garden with so many beautiful flowers in it, and it’s visited by honey bees and butterflies. And my cat is there too, playing in the grass. You people have no idea what you’re missing!” 

In a way, the fact that the garden is secret makes it more beautiful and more cozy to be in. But to be honest I do sometimes have daydreams about having a friend to share it with. 

This post is based on the idea for The Secret Garden, a book by Frances Hodgson Burnett, first published in 1911.

sister sweet

まとめ by :DDD

What is autistic masking, and how does it affect mental health?

This is a common topic of discussion in the autistic community, but I haven’t ever written a post specifically about it before. So, here it is: a thorough explanation of what masking is, examples of it, what causes it, and why it can be harmful but sometimes necessary.

Masking is when autistic people disguise (mask) our autistic traits & behaviors, by replacing them with more “socially acceptable” (read: neurotypical) mannerisms and actions. Usually, we do this to fit into neurotypical social situations, including our schools and workplaces. Masking can require careful internal thought, and often results in a state of heightened vigilance and awareness of one’s body and how it is being perceived by others.

Autistic people are taught from a young age, whether by our families or by society at large, that the way we interact with the world is wrong. We are told that we need to look people in the eyes, smile and nod when spoken to by authority figures, sit still, and have “quiet hands.” All this, despite the fact that most of us find eye contact overwhelming, have to stim to meet our sensory needs, and find it easiest to communicate in unconventional ways.

We are taught that in order to be accepted by our peers, we have to mimic their mannerisms and speech patterns. We have to learn to fit in. Many of us try this, but it’s exhausting work. Things that seem to come naturally to other people are a constant, conscious effort on our part.

The absolute exhaustion and painful overload that happens when we mask can lead to awful meltdowns, and even long-term autistic burnout. When I was in kindergarten and elementary school, I masked all day. I didn’t let myself stim. I was a model student. I smiled and made eye contact with everyone. And when I got home, almost every day, I had massive meltdowns. Screaming, sobbing, violent meltdowns. Many of them lasted for 30 to 40 minutes, but some went on for 3 hours.

It was these meltdowns that led my parents to seek an autism diagnosis for me, which I received at 8 years old, after years of suffering from the effects of masking my autistic traits at school. Because I didn’t know I was autistic, I thought I should be acting like the neurotypical people around me. I wanted to please my teachers, and I wanted to make friends. I was extremely sensitive to criticism from teachers, so I did everything in my power to avoid it.

I distinctly remember seeing fellow autistic classmates with higher support needs wearing ear defenders, and wishing I had my own pair that I could wear to school. I wished that I could stim like them. I wished that I could have sensory breaks like them. But I couldn’t, because I wasn’t diagnosed, and besides: when you’re deemed “high functioning,” you’re expected to mask no matter what the cost is to your wellbeing.

My ability to mask, coupled with my extremely high measurable intelligence, was cause for me to be diagnosed with “mild, high functioning Aspergers.” Nevermind the fact that I still couldn’t bathe myself at 9 years old, that I had to be restrained by my parents for them to brush my teeth, or the fact that I continued to have meltdowns so violent that I broke several doors.

Because I was labeled “high functioning,” I was expected to mask my autistic traits at school and at home. But once I discovered that I was autistic, I rebelled against that mandate. At 9 years old, I started stimming more, exploring more comfortable speech patterns, and reconnecting with my senses. My parents told me to “stop acting more autistic.” But I was just rediscovering parts of myself I had lost.

Now that I’m older, I know myself. There are certain circumstances where I know that masking is a good idea, because otherwise I won’t be able to obtain certain educational or job opportunities. It’s an unfortunate reality that autistic mannerisms and behaviors are still seen as undesirable and unwanted in most professional settings.

So when I’m in those settings, I unmask as much as I can, when I can. I take vestibular stimming breaks in the bathroom. I vocal stim when other people aren’t around. I play with the rings on my hands.

But it’s still difficult. It’s still exhausting. It still takes a toll on me. I have to be aware of my posture, the position of my legs, the movements of my arms and hands, the nature of my facial expressions, the social appropriateness of my words, and more.

And that is why, more than anything, I want society to become more aware and accepting of autistic behavior and body language.

I want to live in a world where I can jump and flap and squeal in public, and instead of staring at me, people laugh and smile with joy. I want to live in a world where adults wearing ear defenders are taken seriously and treated with respect. I want to live in a world where autistic people of color are not at risk of being shot and killed for stimming or having meltdowns in public.

Unmasking will look different for everyone. But I want all of you to know that each public act of autistic expression is revolutionary. I want you to know that flapping your hands in the supermarket is a battle cry. I want you to know that wearing ear defenders in public is to wear a badge of honor. I want you to know that defying the rules in a world not built for you, standing your ground and existing despite attempts to make you disappear, is the bravest thing a person can do. We are warriors, and one day we will win. Remember that.

~Eden🐢

The psychological concept of mindfulness is yet another concept that I just… can’t really apply to myself? I feel like you just have to be allistic for it which is Not Good™, for the majority of anti-stress-therapy is based on it.

Anyone here in the community who made some experiences with mindfulness? If so, how tf were you able to align it with being autistic?

What makes life worth living

Love all my sensitive girls who make the most mundane things seem vastly more intimate and romantic

Sending suicide bait to somebody you know is suicidal is one of the lowest things you can do. Sending it proves your personality is nothing but a trail of slime between the dumpster you came from and wherever your trashy leaking ass is right now.

Thanks for proving your true character. You’re somebody who is both cruel and too spineless to put their name on what they say.

You’re cowardly bullies and nothing more.

To the people dealing with this kind of anon bullshit, you’re worth more than their trashy words want you to believe. Don’t give in to them. Rise above it. They choose hate. You don’t have to absorb their self loathing or reflect it back. You’re not a mirror or a black hole. You are a light and they are mere shadows hiding behind their gray masks.

Ah so romantic

Sigh

By RedREn_레드렌‏

An Exo-What...?

Simply put, an exoplanet is a planet that orbits another star. That said, just because a planet orbits a star (like Earth) does not mean that it is automatically stable for life. The planet must be within the habitable zone, which is the area around a star in which water has the potential to be liquid…aka not so close that all the water would evaporate, and not too far away where all the water would freeze.

Recently, with the help of our Kepler spacecraft, scientists have discovered the most Earth-like exoplanet ever, Kepler-452b. Pretty cool! This chart shows 12 other exoplanet discoveries that are less than twice the size of Earth, and live in the habitable zone of their host star. Kepler-452b is special because all previous findings have orbited stars that are smaller and cooler than Earth’s.

You may be thinking, “Okay, so what? There’s an Earth-like planet that spins around a similar sized sun.” Well, Kepler-452b orbits its sun at nearly the same distance from its star as Earth does from our sun, which means that conditions on the plant could be similar to those here on Earth!

We can already guess your next question…”When are we going to Kepler-452b?!” Well, this planet is located in the constellation Cygnus which is 1,400 light-years away, so not anytime soon. However, our Kepler spacecraft continues to search for Earth-like exoplanets and gather important scientific information about them.