Sorry for going into a lovedrunk bloodthirsty craze and hunting you for sport, it will happen again.
Every time I self reblog a fic chapter where I'm asking for comments (because I only get comments when I directly ask for them), I lose at least a dozen followers, and I get fewer comments, so it's like. Man. What's the point.
So, since the Eggs ran away in September and lived for weeks free of tasks and lives, and after they survived Purgatory while doing zero tasks, and after the three newer eggs survived for seemingly their entire lives without tasks or lives, a lot of people- both fans and creators and egg admins- have been complaining about the Egg Life System and how bullshit it is in terms of both player experience and the island’s established lore. It’s an outdated system that isn’t fun for anybody involved, and it should be properly updated for the new year.
Eggs have been the QSMP’s lifeblood since when they were first introduced in April. They were initially an event then, but they soon developed into actual people with actual personalities that both the audience and the players all became ridiculously attached to.
Eggs are given to new players to give them someone to hang out with when they’re alone on the server, and they exist for that purpose for everybody else, too.
So, if that’s the case… why the fuck can they still permadie? When lore itself showed that they don’t need to do tasks, and when players like the Korean members or like Roier or Bad would be completely alone on the server without the eggs keeping them company, it really begs the question of whether or not it’s possible to still have the eggs at risk while not explicitly killing them.
And so I present a couple of ways to adapt the Egg System to the QSMP 2024 while still allowing the eggs to be put at risk and while still having consequences for risky behavior and while still keeping the cookie system in place because, really, that’s a decent way of doing the tasks.
Post-Purgatory, it was revealed that there’s an Egg Hospital. And it really would make sense for the server’s hyper capitalist second season to keep the hospital, and to use it the American Way.
When an egg goes down and “dies”, the egg respawns like a player would. But the egg respawns in the Egg Hospital at Spawn, and the parents have to pay a hefty fee for their eggs’ health.
The server already makes everybody collect coins and go into debt, so why not apply that to the eggs?
The fee the parents would have to pay would be ridiculous, like maybe 10k coins. Any coins they get from bounties would go to that and not to their own pockets, but the egg would still be alive. Every time the egg dies, the fee would increase regardless of whether or not the parents paid it off the last time.
So an egg has infinite lives, but the eggs and their parents are still punished for deaths. It keeps the parents from being able to buy necessities like warps or things from the Spawn Shops.
Egg Tasks are completed in exchange for Cookie Coupons, which allow the purchase of one cookie per coupon free of any monetary charge. In an emergency, parents can add to their debt by buying cookies outright. This way, eggs still get to do tasks while the parents are paying their debt.
Is this system harsh? Yeah, but so are permadeaths. This system just switches the deaths out for American-style medical debt that will ruin the parents financially should they ‘allow’ their eggs to die.
Since the start of QSMP2024, the bunny employees have been trying to buy the eggs from their parents. Why not adapt that?
If an egg dies under this system, the parents receive a Strike from the Federation. After two Strikes, the egg is taken from their parents by a bunny social worker to live with the Federation until the parents can prove they’re a “good parent.”
The parents do this by taking paid parenthood classes taught by the Federation that would cost maybe 500 coins per class (coming to a total cost of 3,500 coins.) After a week of classes, the parents get their kids back.
The classes would basically be a bunny worker showing up at the parent’s home and making them do egg tasks for the bunny instead, maybe for ten minutes per day, showing that the parents can still take care of their eggs and that they aren’t neglectful or anything.
Furthermore, before the parents get their eggs back, they have to build a room specifically for their eggs if they don’t have one built already, and that room must be inspected by the bunny social worker. Parents have to show that they have food prepared for the egg. They have to have a set of armor prepared for the egg, and a sword and pickax. They have to have at least one toy or egg cosmetic purchased and waiting for the egg in the egg’s new room.
Once all this is done, after a week, the eggs get to come back, and their Strikes are reset.
This isn’t too bad, but 3,500 coins is a lot of money for a lot of players, and having to do all these chores and not having their eggs around punishes both the players and the eggs the same way a permadeath would. It’s just that this doesn’t include the egg dying, it includes a new form of Egg Trauma.
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If you have any other ideas of new systems, I’d be curious to hear them. And feel free to screenshot and share this post to Twitter if you want, that’s cool.
I just think there are ways to mess with the players and the audience without killing the eggs off, that’s all.
These systems I have proposed accommodate for server lag and general unpreparedness, such as not having good enough armor or going into a dungeon without backup.
Do u have any tips on writing q celbit? /gen
Sure!
Most importantly, in my opinion, make him a fucking loser. He’s a nerd! His greatest enemies are a furry robot and his grandfather-in-law. He pretends to be scared of Garten of Banban to make his son happy.
He’s also a bitch. Let him be a bitch. He’s petty and he’s rude
He cares more about his family than he does about himself. He’s self sacrificial and it’s terrible but he legitimately sees himself as pretty unworthy of living
He’s a very physical person. He moves a lot and does a lot of body language, and he is literally almost always in physical contact with Roier
And he LOVES Roier!! That is SUCH an important part of his character, and it sometimes needs to be said with how the fandom treats his character these days
He had a terrible past, but he purposefully uses it to give the eggs a better life. He loves all the eggs, and that’s important. He’s good with kids
He’s a pretty nice guy, all things considered. He tried getting Walter Bob to unionize. He offered the people in Purgatory 2 a way out of death by trying to roleplay with them.
He’s also, again, a petty and rude bitch
He’s actually a bit of an extrovert! He just has a low social battery
…Does this make sense?
qCellbit getting super into skateboarding is like. It’s like when he told Richarlyson that he’d never had a picnic before arriving on the island. He grew up in a war zone, he doesn’t remember anything from before that
So Cellbit is skateboarding with his kids. Maybe he’s a bit old to be wearing a silly “skater hat” and he’s too old to be doing kickflips instead of doing taxes, but like. He never got to play when he was a kid. But the past is in the past, and the present is what matters
So Cellbit is into skateboarding now. He thinks he would’ve liked it as a kid if he’d been given the chance, but that’s in the past, so it doesn’t matter. He likes it now, and that’s all that matters to him. So what if he can’t sleep at night and so what if his husband doesn’t look at him most days and so what if his hands itch for a blade to drive into his own stomach when he isn’t distracted? None of that matters, because he can do a sick kickflip on his skateboard and impress his two kids, and that’s it.
i agree with some things here buuuut he should still communicate more with the admins
we as the public dont need to know everything but the manipulation and leaks part would be easier if he talked with the admins and us as the consumers
sorry if i made any mistake eng is not my first language
translation;
"its insane quack made a statement in the discord
its point by point what ive been saying for 2 weeks mdrrr"
"basically:
- priority number 1: find a way to financially support everybody. [quackity] doesnt want volunteers because he understands that legally it is too risky, especially with the work laws in other countries that he does not know about.
- if the financial situation is good enough, we bring back the actors, but in the meantime theyre on hold. there are no updates because he doesnt want to make any false promises to them.
- theres little communication because of the legal pressure and due to the partial leaks which can be twisted.
- hes restructuring the entire studio and how it works, and it takes a lot of time. he also doesnt want to pressure too many people currently working to adapt so quickly to these changes. (im guessing its a major overhaul to how everything works[/working methods])"
¹: this is actually diverted i think? but i translated it as "cause issues" or "be wrong" because i think it comes across better? got help and it seems its better translated as "twisted"!
Vampire Cellbit who’s stuck living in the castle because his twin sister is the Vampire Queen, but he’s much happier about this than he used to be because there’s a cute human working in the kitchens who’s almost definitely a vampire hunter who’s been sent to assassinate Cellbit and/or Bagi. But, like. Cellbit isn’t dead yet, and this guy is really pretty. And funny. And charming. And handsome. And strong. And clever. And beautiful.
Oh, if only he wasn’t human. They’re so fragile…
AU in which all Pepito wants is for Pepito’s dad to start smiling again. Pepito knows that Apa Roier is a HUGE fan of Spider-Man, aka Quesadilla City’s most popular superhero, but he’s been real sad since Spider-Man stopped hero-ing a couple months ago when his rival and WORST ENEMY Black Cat disappeared. And Pepito just wants Roier to be happy, so Pepito’s just gotta find Spider-Man and make him a hero again! (And maybe Pepito can get his autograph, because Spider-Man is Pepito’s favorite hero too!!!)
[An au in which Roier retires as a hero when the man he was working up the nerve to ask out vanished into thin air in a factory explosion after a fight gone wrong. He never even got to find out Black Cat’s name, and now he never will…]
[And, an au in which Cellbit has been stuck in the hospital for months in a coma, and all he’s been dreaming of is the masked hero he’s in love with.]
The Death of Icarus, by Alexandre Cabanel
pros br q tão migrando do twt!!! :D
I know a lot of people on qsmpblr use Tumblr mobile, but if you do use browser Tumblr then I would recommend the Simple Translate extension. Because Tumblr doesn't have built in translation like Twitter, there's less fans posting in their native language, instead most people just use English.
Simple Translate is an extension that allows you to translate text that you highlight into a target language. (It uses Google Translate API, but so does Twitter so the translation quality is pretty much the same).
Firefox Extension | Chrome Extension
When you highlight text in another language, a translate icon appears, when you click on it a panel containing the translation of the text appears.
You can also change the settings of the extension so that the translation panel automatically appears when you highlight text in another language.
Here's some more examples using the official QSMP Twitter accounts, you do not need to change the settings of the extension to translate from different languages into your target language.
(All of these match the translations given when using the "translate bio" button on Twitter directly.)
You can also access a translation box using the icon in the toolbar, any text you enter can be translated to the language selected in the drop-down menu (meaning you don't need to open a new tab to use Google Translate).
Some settings explanation and other stuff under the cut. Not super important but I figured I'd add it anyways.
There is an option to use DeepL API as opposed to Google Translate (it's another translation tool, there is free access to the API with a limit of 500,000 characters/month, and a pro version for unlimited access).
Whatever the target language is set as is what text you highlight will be translated into. There is another option for a second target language, I'll explain that further down.
This option changes how you view the translation panel, the first option (default) has the icon appear when you highlight text (as seen in the first image of the post), the second option has the translation panel appear automatically when you highlight text, and the for third option the panel and icon won't automatically appear, but can still be accessed by right-clicking the highlighted text and selecting "translate selected text".
The checkbox below these options means that if the text you're highlighting is already in your target language, the translation icon and panel will not appear, it can again still be accessed by right-clicking what you've highlighted and selecting translate.
This option appears twice, in both the Web-page section (for translating selected text) and the Toolbar Popup section (for the translation box in the toolbar popup).
The web page option, when toggled on, means that when you select text that is in your target language, the translation panel will translate into the second target language that has been selected. If the checkbox for "do not display if translation is not required" is toggled on, you can only view the translation from Target -> 2nd Target by right-clicking to translate selected text.
The toolbar popup version of this option is used to automatically switch the language in the toolbar translation box when you input something in your main target. (ie. second target set to French means that when you input English text in the translation box it will switch the translation setting from "(detect language) -> English" to "English -> French").
There are also settings to change the style and size of the translation button and panel.
Side note: Mixed language messages (not containing your target language) will only translate one of the languages, you can work around this by highlighting the different languages separately.
Links again if you don't want to scroll all the way back up
Firefox Extension | Chrome Extension