Hey People, So, This Is Kinda A Last-ditch Effort Considering That I've Got Basically No People Following

Does anybody have any idea what this might be? Found in a shop in the UK, probably pinned up by a customer. I’m more confused and scared than anything, lol.

Stephen accidentally hits Tony with a love spell. And Tony falls in love with another person!! Or something along those lines!!

Firstly thank you for your patience, I know this is an old request! And secondly I was drafting an angsty Tony-falls-for-someone-else fic but then… this happened instead. Enjoy!

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The text on the dusty yellowed page stared back up at Stephen, taunting him, each handwritten letter burning into his retinas.

He couldn’t get this spell quite right.It was supposed to be used in the event of a serious fight; if done correctly the opponent would become more sympathetic to the caster, would see them as someone likable, someone they shouldn’t hurt. It would be useful to end a fight non-violently, and to make negotiating with particularly nasty individuals easier. It was… perhaps a manipulative and unconventional way of dealing with an enemy, but if there was a way to avoid fighting or death and destruction, Stephen was all ears.

The problem was, this spell needed to be… subtle. You were merely suggesting to an opponent that perhaps you shouldn’t fight, perhaps you and your side was likable, understandable. You didn’t want whoever you were fighting to cease everything to kiss your feet out of respect and admiration. Well, if it stopped the fighting, perhaps, but that wasn’t the point.

But if there was one thing Stephen wasn’t, it was subtle. Every time he attempted to cast this one, it was always too strong. The delicate rune conjured up into the air tended to implode into a brightly colored ball of light, and Stephen was loathe to discover what would happen if he’d cast it on someone.

And as he huddled in the corner of Tony’s lab, cursing as he failed yet again, he wondered if it was even worth it.

Across the lab, Bruce, Tony, and Steve were all discussing something in low voices, pointing to a screen in Tony’s hands as they worked. Think of them. Imagine casting this to defend them out in a fight somewhere. Spells always came easier when you had the added drive to protect people you cared about, so Stephen took a breath and attempted to concentrate on that.

Cautiously, he raised his hands, forming a sort of peace sign with his fingers as he moved them in the pattern described for the spell. An orangish-pink rune blossomed into existence in front of him, shaky, but stable. Good. Now just to—

The delicate rune imploded as he shifted to the right, almost instantly collapsing into a ball of crackling light. It whizzed towards the wall, and to Stephen’s horror, ricocheted right off and flew back across the room.

“Duck!” he screeched, motioning as fast as he could for the others across the lab to get down. He hit the floor hard, wincing as he went down on one knee, and covered his head with his arms. He heard Steve and Bruce yelping in tandem as they ducked below the table they were working at; a sickening heartbeat later, a loud thumping noise accompanied them.

After three seconds of horrified silence, Stephen launched himself to his feet, immediately rushing over to where the others had been working.

“Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt? Is… Tony…”

Steve and Bruce appeared to be shocked and unharmed, but Tony… Tony must have leaped out in front of them, or done something equally stupid and courageous, and it looked as though he’d taken the full brunt of the failed spell. He was crumpled up on the floor half under the table, his body smoldering slightly.

“Oh, seven hells…” Stephen whispered, reaching out to touch Tony’s shoulder. What had he done? Had the spell hurt Tony? …what was going to happen to him now?

To his immense relief, Tony shifted at Stephen’s touch and rolled over, looking to all the world as though he’d stuck his fingers into an electrical socket. The little group clustered around him seemed to let out a collective breath they’d been holding as the man on the floor managed a shit-eating grin.

“Man, doc, what’d you hit me with?” Tony asked, his speech ever-so-slightly slurred. Though appearing to be physically unharmed, there was… a certain other change in Tony Stephen couldn’t quite put his finger on yet.

“It was a faulty spell. I’m so sorry, I should have been more careful, especially in your lab, too. Hold still, let me make sure you’re okay.” Stephen’s hands floated over Tony, examining him one last time for any injuries as he braced for the engineer’s usual lecture on lab safety and expensive equipment. Instead Tony moved forwards, leaning shockingly far into Stephen’s personal space.

“You could use my lab for whatever the hell you liked, love doctor, and I would be loathe to make you leave,” he drawled, his gaze very pointedly dragging down to Stephen’s lips.

The sorcerer yanked himself away from Tony, going as white as a sheet. Sure, he and Tony flirted back and forth, but THAT was a… whole new level. What the hell had that spell done to him?

“Tony—?” Steve asked sharply, his eyebrows creased together in utterly confused dismay as he knelt down next to him. “Uh—“

Tony’s gaze flicked to Steve, his eyes instantly glued to his biceps. He let out a low, lazy wolf whistle, his gaze traveling up and down his new object of interest. “Hooo, how’d you get in here, hunk of handsome?” he murmured, words strung together in a happy, loopy slur of language.

“I was— I was just working with you, right here, Tony…” Steve trailed off, innocent confusion evident. His eyes narrowed as they flicked towards Stephen, accusatory.

Before Captain had a chance to berate him, Bruce interjected.

“Tony, could you tell us what you’re feeling? What do you last remember? Does anything hurt?” he asked carefully, adjusting his glasses. At least that doctor wasn’t glaring at him, Stephen thought appreciatively.

“Mmmmm, ohh, Doctor Banner,” Tony mumbled, crooning as he slouched back onto the floor with an absent grin. “Y’knowww, I read each and every one of your thesis papers. God, they were fascinating. Used to go over ‘em in bed at night, imagining you were there with me, explaining every word in my ear as we—“

“Alright, that’s enough,” Steve said firmly, clapping a hand to Tony’s mouth. He turned his gaze back to Stephen, ignoring how bright red Bruce’s face had gone, his blue-eyed expression baleful. “An ill-timed prank, don’t you think, Strange? What’d you hit him with? A love spell? Hilarious. And unprofessional. Reverse it now, please, before Peter gets here to film it for YouTube.”

Stephen shook his head rapidly as Tony leaned into Steve’s hand, clearly kissing at it passionately. Captain yanked it back, a mixture of intrigued horror and pink-tinged embarrassment written on his face.

“I was— it’s not, not, wasn’t a prank. I swear it. I’m trying to learn a pacifying spell, one that… it, it increases the affection and respect an opponent has for you, but I keep casting it too strongly, it keeps backfiring, and…” Stephen gulped as Tony’s lovesick eyes found him, looking quite like a lost puppy abandoned on the floor. “…and I suppose this is the result of it being cast too… heavy-handedly.”

“So,” Bruce sucked in a breath, evidently still not recovered from Tony’s comment. “So, then, he’s…? A little in awe and… lovestruck with everyone now?”

“I don’t know,” Stephen admitted shakily, trying to ignore the fact that Tony’s hand was crawling up Bruce’s leg upon hearing his voice again. “I’ve rarely seen this spell cast, and never heard of it backfiring. I don’t… I don’t know…”

He put his head in his hands, and almost instantly felt another hand in his hair, mussing it up.

“Aww, Houdini, it’s not your fault, not… your fault, no, and I’m not upset! I’ve never felt better than this… mhmm,” Tony crooned, his other hand still wandering towards Bruce’s crotch, who politely and firmly pushed the curious touch away.

“Tony, no more, okay? Let’s get you up and somewhere quiet,” Steve said firmly, reaching out to put his arms under Tony to lift him up.

“Let him be! He can’t help it,” Stephen snapped, getting to his feet. “I’m sorry, a thousand times over, but the spell’s altered his personality for the time being, there’s no use trying to make him just… stop.”

Steve grunted as he lifted Tony, who seemed to be cheekily ragdolling his way closer to the captain’s body, into his arms.

“So you mean to tell me Tony’s changed? How long is this going to last?”

“It’s a temporary spell. It’s not meant to be long-acting, but I have no way of knowing.” Stephen paused, reaching out to take Tony’s pulse. It was slow, relaxed. Good. Nothing too fast that he’d have to worry about. Tony reached a hand up to pet Stephen’s fingers in an… almost cute caress, and the sorcerer couldn’t help but blush. “A few hours, if we’re lucky? At worst, a… few days?”

He could hear Bruce suck in a breath beside him.

“There’s nothing else we can do?” he asked, giving Tony a nervous pat on the back.

“I don’t… I could potentially try more magic to reverse it, but… I don’t know what would happen, and I don’t want to make things worse,” Stephen murmured, straightening up. “I think it would be best to get him into a quiet place with minimal interaction with others, and simply let the spell run its course. Let him rest and drink some water and allow the magic wear off.”

“We could take him to the spare bedroom down the hall,” Steve suggested, waving vaguely in the direction of the room.

“Good idea,” Stephen said, reaching into his pocket for his sling ring. Portaling there would be faster, and save them from encountering anyone else in the vicinity of the hallway.

Steve and Bruce moved to stand shoulder to shoulder with the sorcerer, accompanied by a cheerful warble of “I’ve never been to bed with THREE guys before!” from Tony as the portal sparked around them, taking them away.

***

It was tough to keep people out of the bedroom and away in general once they’d gotten Tony to settle down and relax in bed. Already Peter had come by to investigate what was going on, which made Tony burst into a tirade of happy, emotional sobbing.

“Peter! Oh, Petey-pie, I’m so happy to see you, I—“ Voice crack— “I’m so glad you’re like, my kid, my… son! You came to see me, oh, teens these days, god, I love you so so much spider… spiderman! Pete…”

Peter was quickly ushered out by Stephen, but the poor kid was almost as emotional as Tony about his little breakdown.

“Do you really think Mr. Stark means that?! I mean, he’s… he’s a little out of it, but…”

Stephen just sighed.

Nat had also poked her (rather nosy, Stephen thought) head in to see what was going on. But after a bubbly speech from Tony about the perfect curves of her body and how much he secretly adored her red hair, which was cut short by her threatening to knock Tony’s sense back into him in a rather unpleasant bodily area, she too was escorted out.

Steve and Bruce left eventually, Bruce after succumbing to total embarrassment from Tony’s increasingly lewd language and Steve after another spat with Strange, but Stephen stayed by Tony’s side. The excuse he gave was that he needed to monitor how the spell was progressing and to be on hand in case he was needed, but there was a deeper level of concern and care he harbored for the loopy man curled up in his bed.

Tony talked aimlessly to him, seeming almost dreamlike as he started at the ceiling in a happy daze. He chattered about the other residents of the compound, Steve, Bucky (“god, imagine what that metal arm could do”), Pepper (“Stephen have I told you about Pepper I love her so much, she’s my best friend in the whole wide world and her kisses are so nice, Stephen you should totally kiss her oh my god her lips—“) he Odinson brothers (“dude, can you imagine how impressive it would be if you managed to get with BOTH of them?? And I mean Loki is a total asshole but there’s something about him that’s, definitely kind of hot, I mean, I think I could forget New York for one night… and Thor, hmmm, he could make me feel worthy any time he wanted t—“ “Tony!”), T’challa (“I need to visit Wakanda again, their technology, oh man… years behind what I could do… and who could resist the King himself, oooo, those heart-melting EYES—“), and anyone else that seemed to cross his mind. It made Stephen laugh every time Tony went off on another spiel about something, but that made Tony giggle and get even more loopy and lovestruck, and nothing at all seemed to be helping the spell wear off.

After nearly a solid hour and a half of talking, though, Tony’s voice began to dwindle along with his energy and enthusiasm. Stephen watched as he coughed, his voice giving out on him, and sunk back into the bed.

“Tony? You okay? You feeling any better?”

“Maybe a little more… lucid,” Tony mumbled, rubbing his head. He looked tired, and just a touch… sad, perhaps?

“Do you remember everything?”

Tony frowned. “I jumped in front of Steve and Bruce to shield them. Next thing I knew I was on the floor. I said a lot.”

Stephen chuckled. “You sure did.”

Tony’s frown deepened. “I just… I love everyone, I love all you guys so much,” he mumbled, and Stephen paused, unsure if the last dregs of the spell had Tony in their grasp or he was still just a bit loopy and tired.

“We know, Tony.”

“No,” he murmured, insistently trying to push himself back up. “No, I care so much about everyone here. I’d do anything for you guys. I work late and research as much as I can and… I just—“

“We know, Tony,” Stephen said gently, reaching out to keep Tony from getting up. “We know you work and you care and you… honestly stretch yourself so thin. You don’t have to bear everyone else’s weight. You’re not Atlas. Sit back and rest, and just let us look after you for the day.”

Tony paused, his eyes big, soft. “Okay,” he mumbled. “Okay. I love you. Thank you for looking after me. You’re always so stoic and responsible, and you always do your hair so nicely, did I mention how hot those grey streaks a—“

“Okay! Okay, clearly that spell hasn’t worn off,” Stephen laughed, gently detaching Tony’s arms from his own. The smaller man looked perplexed and hurt at this show of pushing him away.

“But I love you!” Tony whimpered, reaching back up to hug Stephen, who gave in, rolled his eyes, and let it happen.

“Alright, tin can. Now just lie back and rest. Let that spell wear off.”

“I wanna go see everyone else,” Tony protested. “Did you see what Thor was wearing this morning? That nightgown? God I hope he’s still in it. That was hot. And—“

Stephen smiled wearily, pulling a blanket over a freshly chatty Tony. It was going to be a long rest of the day.

how do i get accepted into the witch community? like what do i have to do to get in? what do i have to know to get it? what are the basics? is there an initiation that i have to take?

My Shitty Brother

My shitty little brother (Who is 11) has struck again.

He said that I was semi-gay. I identify as queer/part of the LGBT community, as I can’t seem to find a label that fits me. He won’t seem to understand that gay and every other orientation are different things. He then proceeded to say these things:

- “You gay fuck!”

- “You gay motherfuckers!”

- “Move it, your gayness!”

- “Move your butt, your gayness!”

Heavy sigh

Right. Does anybody here know how to write the process of a character learning how to use/using a flamethrower? I’ve been trying, and it’s ending up just... weird.

Please help, Google has no answers and I’m 99% sure I’m on a list of some sort at this point.

Okay, Orphan 55 was good and all, people are gonna complain about the ending but tbh it's probably gonna inspire people to do a lot more about climate change, etc, but I have one complaint: Did the writers completely ignore all the prior worldbuilding in the show, some of which was literally in episode two, just to pull the 'Alternative timeline' card!?

As somebody who does weight training and whose parents also do weight training, to a much higher degree, and knows quite a lot: The kind of skinny that you get via overly-restrictive diets like keto are unhealthy, and often, these diets don't even work. The healthiest human body is strong, not skinny. To be strong, you need muscle. And to grow muscle, you need three things: Exercise, protein, and calories. The exercise is obvious. Exercise the part of you that you want to get stronger. Muscle will probably grow there if you keep it up for long enough. Protein helps you gain muscle. And nobody ever became an elite powerlifter on 800 kcals per day. Please look up photos of actual powerlifters - NOT bodybuilders. Note how everybody who's actually strong, is also pretty fat. Another big factor is that these overly restrictive diets tend to cut out all the enjoyable foods - so cake, pizza, burgers, and so forth. So these foods become "Forbidden", and therefore more desirable. Eventually, you're going to snap and binge-eat all those foods you've been denying yourself - and gain back all that weight. The ideal diet should have enough calories to at least maintain a healthy body weight, and that's it. Stick to your calorie limit, and free eat otherwise. You've got the calories for that burger, or that KFC, or that double chocolate muffin? Cool! Go ahead! And even then, having a few days where you go over doesn't matter. Most people will unconsciously track their nutrients, calories, and such when given a chance. I naturally default to about 2000 calories per day, myself. This is more than I'd like, but 1800 is enough to maintain a healthy weight and not leave me hungry, so I go for that. HAVING SAID ALL THAT: This is all OPTIONAL. Being overweight or obese is unhealthy, yes, but if you choose to have excessive weight or body fat, that's YOUR choice to make. You shouldn't be shamed for that. It's a choice just like smoking. It's unhealthy, but nobody's ever been denied healthcare because they're a smoker. I choose to follow a weightlifter's diet and do training for the following reasons: - I have the right genetics and build to be a powerlifter from a young age, and I like the idea of that. - I don't enjoy how I look and feel when overweight. - I want to get stronger. Somebody might have different reasons for not tracking calories or exercising. Maybe they enjoy food too much to restrict calories. Maybe they have chronic pain that makes it difficult to exercise. I don't know. Being overweight is, scientifically, unhealthy. But so is smoking, not getting enough sleep, and consuming too much caffeine. Nobody ever went to the doctor and was told to cut out their morning cup of coffee before they could be prescribed life-saving heart medication. Why is being fat any different?

my new roommate said that her last roommate had an eating disorder and then talked to me about her clean eating and weight loss goals and how she buys clothes that are a little snug to motivate her to lose more

and like honestly? i have anorexia but this is why i constantly talk about the dangers of the “health and fitness” industry and diet culture bc we have essentially normalized certain symptoms of disordered eating but it’s ok if it’s under the guise of health i guess???

like how is calling it “clean” eating NOT a way to moralize food

how is intermittent fasting NOT the same thing as skipping meals

how come when i buy clothes that don’t fit, it’s something i have to tell my therapist about because it means i am putting pressure on myself to fit into them, but if a “normal” person does it then it’s just motivation for them?

where is the fucking line???

and more importantly when are we going to start acknowledging that the entire world is pro-ana but that’s too harsh of a description so we slap some health buzzwords on it to make it palatable

when are we going to take responsibility for encouraging disordered behavior instead of labeling those of us with EDs as the crazy/imbalanced ones

your fucking Whole30 or keto or whatever “clean” diet you’re on is just as restrictive as the diets we create for ourselves due to our disorders. but we are the crazy ones, right

i have this au i’ve really liked lately where ravenpaw becomes a kittypet after leaving thunderclan and his new owners train him to be a therapy cat and it’s all about ravenpaw dealing with his trauma and learning how to cope while helping humans do the same. idk i really like it