Latest Posts by souppooppie - Page 6
is have nothing in head even when overwhelmed cause something traumatic happened and yet unable to think at all is some sort of an adhd thing or what
ADHD moodboard
i’m DISABLED, not “differently abled”
today, i mentioned one of my disabilities to an adult i know. i called it a disability, and i assumed the language i used to describe my condition would be respected. instead, this adult said to me “i don’t like to think of them as disabilities, instead think of it as being differently abled.”
my response: i’m going to be disabled whether or not you call me that. what’s so bad about the word “disabled?” antagonising the word “disabled” only demonises disabled people. shying away from the word “disabled” reinforces the shame society indoctrinates into us disabled people. it teaches us to hate ourselves for being disabled, to feel lesser than abled people. it feeds ableism and patronises disabled people.
disabled people should be taught to be proud of their disabilities; we should never be taught to feel shame or self hatred for being something we cannot change. furthermore, why should i want to change my disability? why should i always be wishing for the impossible: for a permanent part of me to be deleted?
instead, let’s celebrate our individuality and differences. let’s accept our disabilities!
executive dysfunction but it's in a form of superpower is basically Inumaki Toge from JJK using his power to immobilise you from doing anything
shoutout to all the adhd kids who grew up being called liars when they said they forgot something/didnt understand something/didnt know something/etc and ended up afraid to actually just tell people that they forgot or didnt know as they got older. if ur reading this i love u
(source: me, on twitter)
I have a friend and we talk using what's app. Know how long we reply to each other? Like three weeks later or maybe a month. Both of us always reply VEYR VERY VERY LATE, and yet we still interested and care about each other. asked how things are. This is love.
Old man insults are wild. "Slut", "Whore", "Dumb Bitch"..... Sir, those are respectable occupations. Call me a landlord
I feel really awful when I'm unable to say something more, especially when someone close to me ask how I was doing and I could only say something vague, it makes it seem as if I was trying to keep my distance from them, when I'm not. I don't want them to think that i don't like them and then hurt them unintentionally, when I'm actually really just don't understand how to say .. anything? Though I do understand that I should give more closure and stuff, say something more, but I just don't get it. I. don't. get. it. I don't know how to do that, what is there to talk about? how to let it out???? how do I bring the topic out of my mouth?? I don't get it??????????? and then I'll feel even more awful cause I'd think that they must think that I'm so boring
To anyone who insult me or say something untrue about me got my executive dysfunction on their backs. Like aye say what you want i will literally unable to talk back because it's hard to get words out of my mouth. can't even tell you how I feel about it :/ . I'll just stand there in silence looking at the distance and die even if you say the most meanest and untrue thing about me
it's been about three months since I sleep with bedsheet on because my room is not fully clean yet and in my head it just goes ' can't put on clean sheet incase the time when I start cleaning again happen, then I must change sheet again because of the dust flying in my room. everything must be perfect. no sheet until room clean '
like that train of thought is fucking wack but man don't i agree with it
ADHD be like: I need to do do this task before I go to bed. therefore I’ll stay up all night on my phone because I have no motivation to do the thing but I can’t go to bed unless I do it.
Well put. (Source: Writing About Writing Facebook page)
pain
That neurodivergent / executive dysfunction thing where you are *about* to start a task. You’re not doing it yet...but you’re so so close. almost there. Just need a little bit more . “⚡️⚡️🔌” that’s all. THEN you’ll be ready. you can do it, soon. Just need a little bit more juice...
a little bit...
any minute now
...almost...ready...
come on holy fuck...
just a little bit more.....
psa
no one fucking tells you this so here it is:
when signing out forms to apply for disability / filling out a form for diagnosis
you’re supposed to fill it out as you on your worst days
like, I filled out forms that said I could do most things usually
like, my doctor added in the conditions like “yeah, they can feed themselves when not stressed” “they can do this when not stressed”
but how I should have filled it out was more like
“some days I can’t feed myself” “some days I can’t leave the house”
My doctor didn’t even know this, but I talked to someone who had worked with people with both developmental and intellectual disabilities for a number of years, and she told me to write down how it is for your bad days
this should be a thing they tell you, but it isn’t
part of the reason I didn’t get my autism diagnosis as soon as I should have is because I filled out forms wrong!
a reminder of how executive dysfunction can also look like . You are NOT lazy
brain : Hey the new season of my favorite show is out!!! I've been waiting for so long I'm excited to see it!!
Executive dysfunction : no. impossible. no fucking way. too difficult. unattainable. blocked.
brain : but I want to see it, I want to do it .. badly :(
Executive dysfunction : fuck no. you will be experiencing new emotions, meaning that it will have to be processed. that's too difficult and very exhausting
brain : alright lets watch old shows then
Executive dysfunction : that will be a waste of time, you could've just watch new things you stupid fuck.
brain : ..u right .. but what else can I do?
Executive dysfunction : i have preaperd for you exactly two options. You can either wait for no reason orrr, rot in bed and doom scroll for hours while you feel absolutely shit with yourself from wasting all this precious time.. ill let you chill in distress, mkay? :3 btw have you noticed the feeling, that looming fear and utter discomfort that has been gnawing at your insides like youre being chased by something? Correct, there's nothing you can do about it.
brain : so you're just gonna let me get stuck?
Executive dysfunction : absolutely! :)
brain : Is there really nothing i do something about it?
Executive dysfunction : well.. You can always try.. I'll just never gonna let you do anything else you want or need :)
brain : ... but that wont do.. how abou-
Executive dysfunction : bitch no. you cant
WHAT THE FUCCAA
things i didnt realize were signs of being neurodivergent when i was younger
not being able to stand certain textures of clothes and complaining when i was forced to wear them
being a “picky eater” (and then getting punished for it)
struggling to understand gender norms (like being told long hair is for girls, short hair is for boys, certain colors decide your genitals apparently, etc)
reading the same short story books over and over again
getting sensory overload constantly and thinking that im just too sensitive and it must be a character flaw i have to fix
bringing certain objects or belongings with me everywhere for comfort
spending way too long making up my own fantasy worlds or stories
fellow ND people please feel free to add on (neurotypicals welcome to reblog but dont clown)
A snippet of the new song “Alone in the Night" in which Sondre Lerche collaborated with AURORA, posted on Sondre’s instagram
I just saw something that reminded me of this and I wanted to pass it along:
you do not have to stick to the plans you made years ago. those plans might only serve an older and different version of you and that’s okay. don’t limit yourself by decisions you made before you knew all of yourself.
ok funny shit lmao. 5 months has passed. And throughout those months I feel dread because I feel time passing by so quickly. I see 5 months to be such a short time, I know how fast it'll end, and it feels like we are going to get there soon. And i was right. I blinked and boom out of nowhere it's one month left until college exam.
Now guess what. Today is already the end of march. Somehow for the last maybe 2 weeks i feel time going very very slowly and my anxiety just kinda subside for a moment? It really feels like I have SO much time. And no anxiety just gives me like.. just chill vibe as if there is nothing to worry about?? And if you think this is the right time finally start studying bitch no, thats not gonna work. I cant study a 3 years worth of studies in couple of days. Nobody can. So anyway I know the day is getting nearer if I make myself look at the date and it gives back the fear but it just somehow doesn't feel like it? And I didn't know that i wrote this 5 months ago, it really felt like i wrote this like some weeks ago? so what the fuck is time really? I wish this was just because of quarantine side effects but it is not. And I really love staying at my house and going nowhere for the whole year. I can see a very unhealthy lifestyle if i don't end up living in a small village on the mountain, where every morning it will get foggy. Yeah.
Anyway if anyone is wondering, no i have not study, not even a bit. Because it requires a lot of mental energy and the whole time i was trying to gather it and then there's also executive dysfunction so yeah. It just immobilized me. I think my parents just going to hate me more.
I want to learn but i also can't imagine going to college. I'm so not ready and incredibly unprepared. I i wish i can just perish
can anyone with adhd give me tips how to study? i have not been diagnosed but im pretty sure i have it. Everything make so much sense to such great level after learning what adhd is. I’m taking a gap year and in 5 months i’ll be taking a college entrance exam, and i have completely forgotten everything, i don’t think i remember how to do any math too. I honestly would love to take another break but i dont want to get the same reaction from my family for my choice. i certainly don’t understand why learning should be rushed, like i could see some points to it but it’s still stupid. so back to point one can anyone give suggestions? i have only five months left and no i have not study at all for the past 8 months ive been doing nothing but crochet even when i dont want to do it >:( Edit : k i could be just extremely lazy and have no adhd but i feel like anyone who have this condition is the right person to ask since you are the Queens, Kings and the Alphas that could give me answer to the question that im seeking. i should learn from the true masters. and if you have the answer but explaining stuff is hard for you. thank you for reading i guess. ily
I realized now I that i have tumblr i can post anything tf I want. Maybe it will reach out to more people. So here is a video of my cats
a lazy scatterbrained comic about undiagnosed mental illness
LIKE THE FUCKING SMELL
THE TEXTURE
THAT SLIMY SHIT IS SO PUNGENT
AND IT BUILD NAUSEA. I CAN FEEL IT DEEP IN MY STOAMCH. I CAN FEEL MY SALIVA IN MY MOUTH THAT MAKES ME JUST WANT TO GO HUEGUHGHHJKGUJ EVEN MORE, AND ITS ALL BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING SMELL AND THE TEXTURE OF DISH SOAP ON MY HANDS, ON MY FINGERS
AND WHEN YOU WASH YOUR HANDS
YOU CAN STILL FEEL THE FEELILNG OF DISH SOAP AGAINST THE SKIN
YOU CANT GET RID OF IT
I FUCKING HATE DISH SOAP
anyone else fucking hate dish soap?
anyone else fucking hate dish soap?