I Just Saw Myself Agreeing To The Most Unhinged And Horny Rant Post To A Psychopath Fictional Character

Winter break is a round the corner!!! (Dec 15) Can't wait to be able to write againnn :)))

Switched back to true blue color palette and my eyes are HURTING

Some Leon Kennedy gif's that made me BARK.

(gif's aren't mine so credits for the rightful owner!)

Someone please talk to me or literally just go rant random shits in my ask page

two-faced — jjk smau

in which gojo pisses off a famous streamer (you 🫵) for funsies and unleashes a legion of loyal fans who want him dragged, doxxed, or dead. fortunately for him, you have your own secrets that you’ll take to the grave, perfect for him to take advantage of. when the two of you meet, an unlikely love story for the ages blossoms aka a lighthearted smau abt gojo n the gang!!

pairings: gojo x f!reader

genres: social media au (smau), crack, fluff, strangers to enemies (?) to lovers

warnings: profanities, dark humour, sexual jokes, mentions of death and suicide, very stupid jokes don’t take anything too seriously!! ignore timestamps. will contain jokes / references from the manga !! you will be warned of spoilers on the posts that have them 🤍

this is my first smau so if it’s not funny i Apologise 😨 just for the shits n giggles !! upload schedule will probably be based on how well this is received 🤍 note all characters are in uni (ages 18-20)

unread notifications !

profiles one | profiles two

01: hit tweet this, hit tweet that, why don’t you hit the gym?

02: hot girls pay the government 2 b a citizen

03: nanami’s right titty tingle

04: What Ever Major Loser

05: let him in, LET HIM IN

06: it’s “save the turtles” until i drink boba with my hands

07: silence of the lambs

08: god giving me my greatest obstacle and it’s a man

09: would u still love me if i was a chip floating around in ur stomach?

10: deny that instead

11: twitching eyes and clenched fists

12: getou’s bang grease

13: spring loaded penis bomb

14: first date options and gojo picks spit boba (it works?!)

15: lactose intolerance, biggest killer since cancer

16: unknown mysterious reason unravelled

17: i wish i could have at least (1)

18: beautiful princess disorder

19: GOGOGOJO GONE !

20: tba

pinned accounts !

@whats-humanity-lol @vduxx @saltypuffin1040 @porridgesblog @justpuddinglol @sleezzsister @fadingpalacebonkpsychic @iluv-ace @realestalphamegathugd4ddy @invisible-mori @mimiqz @hyuckworld @wheredidmycrowngo @ericupid @satorukissr @rumi-rants @milza12 @nymphsdomain @thunderimpulse @waengyknow @err1vki3 @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @whatamidoing89 @aboveasphodel @doughnuts-eater @archer-fb @giannitaa @leathernourishingshoepolish @poisonnuggies @cotton-eee @postmancat @yoontaedotin @crushed-satellite-stars @polartrident @starsfilm @etsukis @bladeismine @the-fab-killjoy @a3th3rrr @alatuskaleidos @emii4evr @trcomedump @usermins @ancientimes @aelynaneedsalottathing @jaynawayna @milceslv @lvryeager @sukisprettyface @kissezfornamjoon @satoryaa

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( being added to the taglist means you will be tagged at every new release ! ask 2 be added / removed 🤍 )

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐈𝐧 𝐁𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x F!Reader

Summary: Everyone at HQ was convinced there was something going on between you and Miguel. Just...no one knew what. But one group of spiders were determined to figure it out.

Warnings: None! Just a lot of goofiness and a whole lot of fluff :3

When you have a superhuman with superior senses, they’re bound to be perceptive to their surroundings. Now when you have an entire lobby the size of multiple football fields filled with superhumans with superior senses, very few things will go unnoticed.

It’s why people very quickly realize that you and Miguel have…something between the two of you. It’s just that no one is quite sure what.

Camaraderie? Maybe, you were one of the first spiders to join the society.

Friendship? Perhaps, but it was known that Miguel wasn’t one to do friends. Not with the amount of loss he has gone through.

A relationship? This one seemed the most unplausible. Miguel was, well, Miguel. Stoick, cold and calculating. Meanwhile, you were you.

You had a light that drew people in, kindness that knew no bounds and warmth like a fire on a cold winter’s day.

Everyone knew the saying ‘opposites attract’, but it was like comparing night and day with the two of you. Regardless, a small little group within the society were set on trying to figure the two of you out.

~

“Ain’t no way the two are together, she’s too good for him!” Hobie argues, his legs kicked up on the table in front of him.

“I don’t know, maybe that’s why they work together. Because she makes him better?” Miles says, but his tone of voice failed to hide his skepticism.

“I think you should just leave the two of them be. Besides, what happens if you figure it out or not anyway?” Peter says, feeding Mayday as he does. Immediately a chorus of arguments breaks out from the group.

“OKAY! Okay, forget I asked,” he says with a shake of his head, while Mayday just laughs at the commotion.

They spot the two of you walking into the cafeteria making conversation none of them could make out.

“Look at them,” Gwen says, “have you ever seen the guy happier than he is with her?” she asks, and Hobie snorts.

“C’mon mate, you call that happy? Mans got that frown tattooed on his face, can he even be happy?” he says, but they all continue watching intently.

You glance over to the table they were surrounding, and they all brush off your gaze pretending as though they weren’t just studying the two of you like specimens under a microscope.

You wave your hand, a bright smile on your face while Miguel only glances over for a moment before continuing to walk. You jog to catch up to him, grabbing a tray and picking up things you wanted for lunch.

They watch as they see Miguel pick up the empanada, the last one left. He pauses for a split second, holding it before turning to place it on your tray. Almost as though they were straight out of a cartoon, they freeze at the interaction.

You seem to be slightly surprised as you, saying something to him but he only brushes you off before continuing on.

“Did…that just happen?” Pavitr asks. Everyone at HQ was aware of Miguel’s fondness for the food (even if he did hurl one right at Miles when they first met), there was no way he would give one away so easily for just anyone, right?

“Somebody pinch me,” Gwen says, and Hobie jumps at the request.

“OW!”

~

Miguel never lets anyone help him out when he’s injured. That was just a known fact. He could walk into HQ battered and bruised and wouldn’t even look in the infirmary’s direction once. After depending on himself for so long, he wasn’t going to stop now. Besides, what were First Aid kits for after all?

The only way he was going to the infirmary was if someone dragged his unconscious body there themselves.

Well, unless you were there.

“Miguel O’Hara I swear to god, you better get your ass to the infirmary or so help me I will tie you up and drag you through the halls myself,” you say sternly as you both reemerge in the Lobby. The rest of the Spiders there continued with what they were doing, but their attention was zeroed in on you both.

“I’m fine,” he says, glaring at you as if trying to say ‘Just try’. Had you been anyone else, you would have backed down by now but you didn’t.

“You wanna test me right now? That was a nasty hit, I will not be letting it get infected under my watch,” you retort, and he puffs.

“This is nothing, I’ve dealt with worse,” he scoffs, and in an instant your finger shoots out, making contact with the side that got hit with the anomaly’s flames. Miguel can’t help the sharp intake of breath as the pain from the impact hits him.

Your eyebrow raises, an expression of disbelief on your face before it softens. Murmuring softly, you say something that only he can hear.

For a moment he studies your face before sighing, finally relenting. With a triumphant smile, you place a hand on the man’s broad back, leading him towards the infirmary with a gentle but firm hand.

There, Pavitr is laying in bed recovering from an awry mission of his own. The doctors had ordered bedrest for the next 2 hours at least. Superior healing or not, they were not going to risk it. So there he lay, slinging his golden bangles up and down bored before he hears the two of you come in.

“Mr. O’Hara-" a doctor’s voice can be heard, but he is quickly interrupted.

“She’s got it from here,” he says, Miguel’s tone final. A small “yes, sir” can be heard before footsteps fade away, the doctor’s office door closing once more.

“You know, you should really let the professionals help you,” your voice can be heard.

“You dragged me here, you can deal with the consequences,” he says, and you just laugh fondly before your voices quieten, murmuring too quietly for Pavitr to hear.

Curiosity builds as he recalls the conversation he and his friends had, and before he can stop himself he shifts silently to the side, just enough to be able to catch a glimpse of you both from the small gap between the hospital curtain and the wall.

There, Miguel sat on the bed, a disgruntled expression on his face but his eyes were soft as he watched you fuss over his side.

He only watches for a few seconds before pulling away, this being a clear invasion of privacy, and his boss’ privacy no less.

It wasn’t going to stop him from telling everyone else though.

~

“This is a bad idea. This is a really, really bad idea,” Miles says, grasping onto the ceiling like his life depended on it.

“It’s only a bad idea if we get caught, so Shut. Up,” Gwen says sharply, hanging from her place on the ceiling as they watched the fight from above.

Gwen had come up with the mighty fine idea of sneaking into a mission between the two of you. It wasn’t often that it happened, Miguel more often than not only went on missions with only Lyla by his side. But when he needed a partner, it was always you.

“Why did you have to bring me with you,” he whispers, “Miguel already doesn’t like me. He doesn’t need more of a reason to.”

“Because I needed backup and you can turn invisible. And let’s be real, Hobie would be laughing his ass off getting us caught, Peter would bring Mayday which would get us caught, and Pavitr is already on a mission, now shhh,” she whispers, turning back to watching the scene below.

You swung from pillar to pillar in the abandoned factory with practiced ease, a carefree laugh escaping your lips as Miguel stands on the ground fiddling with his watch.

“The anomaly’s last known location was here,” Lyla’s voice echoes out, and you let out a sigh.

“Why can’t villains have easy powers. Maybe a giant blob that is easy to take down? Why do they have to be so complicated? What’s this one again, a freaky shadow monster?” you think out loud.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Miguel retorts, glancing up toward you for a moment before turning back to Lyla. “Do a scan of the place, will you?”

“What do we say~” Lyla responds, and you giggle softly while Miguel huffs.

“Please,” he mutters.

“What was that?”

“Please, Lyla,” he says a little louder now, irritation growing in his voice.

“Already done,” the AI snickers, and he groans out loud as your laughter bounces off of the walls, a fist held out for Lyla to bump.

“The two of you will be the death of me,” he says lowly.

“Oh, don’t be like that, grumps. You’d be too stubborn to die,” you retort before tensing up, the hairs on the back of your neck rising with the familiar feeling of your heightened senses at work. The moment you sling yourself up is the moment a loud thud sounds out from where you once stood.

“Oh, I forgot to mention that the anomaly was in the far right corner,” Lyla says before disappearing.

“I really need to do a rewrite of her code,” Miguel mutters to himself.

In your previous spot emerges a dark figure, plumes of smoke emerging and dissipating from its form and allowing it to disappear into the shadows with ease.

With a simple nod, you get to work. Like a well-oiled machine, you work in practiced synchrony, bounding across the walls and slinging webs.

And just like that the anomaly is captured, the force field around it effectively trapping it for the ride back to HQ so it can be sent back to its own universe.

“That was…kinda lame,” you snicker, pulling off your mask

“Told you so,” Miguel says as he opens up a portal for you both, dragging the anomaly behind him.

“Don’t say that to me,” you pout.

“What, can’t handle the truth?” he retorts, a smirk playing across his lips as your bickering voices fade through the portal.

“…was that a smile,” Gwen asks as she watches the spot where they both had stood.

“Was that what it was?” Miles asks, a shudder racking through his body.

~

It was late at night at the HQ, and at this time everyone else had already gone back to their own universes. The few that lingered were the ones finishing up after a late-night mission.

Or, you were Peter B. Parker frantically searching through the kitchen for a bottle of milk for Mayday after a playdate with a select few spiders that went on for way longer than expected.

Mayday was an easy baby. Always happy and smiling, but that all disappears when she was hungry and you did not want a spider baby on a rampage.

“Alright, alright, give Daddy a few seconds to warm up your milk please?” Peter pleads as Mayday continues to babble angrily, crawling all over him.

She pauses for a moment, attention drawn elsewhere as she hangs off of her father’s back before leaping.

“Hey, lil spider!” You say with a laugh, catching her in your arms. “What are you doing here so late?” you ask.

“Playdate with Miles, Gwen and Hobie. Time really flew and she refused to leave until now,” Peter sighs tiredly, and you pat him on the back before putting her up onto your shoulders. “What are you doing here so late?”

You shrug, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard.

“Working late. Like you said, time really flew,” you say, but Peter knew that wasn’t the full truth.

“Working so hard that you need two cups of coffee?” he asks, holding out the bottle for Mayday to take, which is what she does happily as she snuggles up in her father’s arms.

“What can I say, caffeine doesn’t really work on me,” you grin, pouring the coffee from the machine. “Goodnight, Peter, Mayday,” you say, ruffling her red hair fondly.

And as quickly as you appeared, you disappear.

~

People didn’t often disturb the big boss man Miguel when he was working. Not if you wanted to stay on his good side.

It was even less often that someone barges into his room full of screens as he monitors the Archno-Humanoid Polymultiverse, let alone a group of them.

“We heard you talking to someone! And laughing,” Gwen says hesitantly as if she couldn’t even believe it herself. But she was invested in figuring out what the deal was between the two of you now.

“Well, do you see anyone around?” Miguel deadpans, his arms wide and gesturing around broadly. You could barely stifle the giggle as you sat on a beam high up on the ceiling, going unnoticed.

“W-well, no…But!” she says, and Miguel raises an eyebrow which makes Gwen shrink in her spot slightly before recovering. “But we heard you. There was someone here, wasn’t there?”

Hobie, ever the perceptive one tracks his eyes along the ceiling before spotting you swinging your legs with an amused look on your face. It seemed as though no one else had noticed though.

Miguel watches Hobie spot you and his eyes narrow in his direction, as if saying ‘I dare you to say anything’ to which the spider only raises his hands in mock surrender.

“No. There wasn't." He says, his tone final. "If that’s all you’re here for, I have important work to get to. So why don’t you go bother someone else, yeah?”

~

“I give up,” Gwen says, slumping in her chair. “We’re never going to figure it out.”

“Figure what out?” Jess asks, walking up to the group.

“Whether or not there is something going on between those two,” Miles says, nodding towards you and Miguel talking over in the corner of the room.

Jessica only hums, a knowing look in her eyes but she doesn’t say anything. Only asks a simple question.

“What makes you think so?”

“Everyone here knows that there’s something there, even if they want to admit it or not. She’s one of the few people he tolerates, they’re together almost all the time and he actually seems happy around her,” Gwen reasons.

“You could have just asked, you know,” you say, coming up on their conversation with an amused look on your face.

Their expressions range from flustered to simply amused and you can’t help the laughter that bubbles up as you make eye contact with Jess.

“And to answer the question,” you reach down your suit, pulling out a simple chain with a ring dangling off of the end.

“We’re actually married.”

The group goes silent for a moment, eyes wide as they stare at the necklace in your hands, trying to process your words.

Then, all hell breaks loose.

A/N: Hehe, I'm quite happy with this one :3 This is my first attempt at writing Miguel, sorry if I butchered him but I am absolutely hyperfixating on him after seeing ATSV in theatres yesterday.

Based on the prompt by @imslightlycreative though slightly changed :)) I hope you all enjoyed <3

Part two out now!! Read it here.

Hello. I hope you are well. I would like to place an order for sad and heartbroken headcons about Cardan. I love your writing. Excuse my bad writing

hi! I don't take orders but the request will still be made :)) Although it will take time :(

You probably won’t see this but I have a question!!

When is ‘love dilemma’ gonna be released? I have been thinking about it nonstop!

Hi nonnie !!! The ‘love Dilemma’ is finally posted 🫡 (I totally forgot about it lmao 😭 thanks for reminding me and I hope you enjoy!!) ☺️🫶

Also!!!! If anyone wants to be on my Aaron Warner tag list plz lmk !!!

do u fw jjk

Which jjk? jeon jungkook or jujutsu kaisen? but either way I fuck with both 😋💪

— 🕸️ : ꒰ work mom. ꒱

pairing :: miguel o’hara x fem!reader

synopsis :: you constantly doted on miles, causing you to earn the title of “work mom.” but… does that make miguel his dad in this scenario?

warnings :: sfw!! miles refers to reader as his work mom. super fluffy and no other warnings apply!

etc :: this is so self-indulgent, but i hope you guys enjoy! had a lot of fun with this one!

You had taken a liking to Miles.

You saw yourself as not a mentor, but a mother. Not that he needed one, certainly not. But whenever he came to HQ, you always made sure he was healthy, as happy as he could be, and certainly eating. Before you knew it, you were grabbing food from the cafeteria and making sure he had some whenever he visited.

Miguel took notice of this.

Bringing it to your attention was another thing. Miguel tried whispering it to you, gesturing to the food in your hands.

“You’re being too soft on him.”

But of course you denied, shook your head, and walked past him. You had a right to be soft on him, especially after everything that happened. So of course you were going to spoil him, make sure he took care of himself. It was like you had taken him under your metaphorical wing, watching over him even though it’s not like he really needed it.

“He’s not going to break, you know.”

Miguel grumbled through an empanada one day, you having brought him lunch as well. You were used to eating alone with him, but brought up eating in the cafeteria with the others. He knew why.

“No need to be grumpy, love. Just wanting to help you be more social, that’s all.”

His deadpan look of disgust towards your comment made you chuckle through your own meal.

“You’re wanting to check on him and Gwen, aren’t you?”

You couldn’t deny, had no way of doing so when it came to him. So you shrugged your shoulders and placed a kiss on his forehead. “You know me so well.”

The next day, around the same time, you had managed to convince him to join you in the cafeteria. Begrudgingly, he sat beside you, his frame making yours seem much smaller in comparison.

“Can’t believe you managed to get his grumpy ass in here.” Miles said through his food, which once again, you had gotten him. “By the way, thanks so much, mom!”

There was a beat of silence as Miguel choked, coughing and banging a fist on the table.

“Sorry! That is NOT what I meant!”

Rubbing your hand over Miguel’s back while he still struggled to catch his breath, you beamed at Miles. “It’s quite alright! After all, I am like your work mom, huh? As normal as that could be in this situation.”

Miles stared at Miguel for a moment, before swallowing another bite. “Does… that make him my work dad?”

Miguel choked once again.

𓏸 🕸️ ₊﹒ ⟡ ﹙☆̲﹚

It happened a lot, these situations that proved to be domestic in some ways. Miles started hanging around you more often, enjoying your presence and sweet disposition. He wasn’t the only person who felt this way.

“You seem grumpy,” you chirped, poking at Miguel when he buried his head in your shoulder.

“It’s the kid.”

“Miles? You mean our adoptive work son?”

That caused a groan to leave him, baring sharp teeth for you to admire.

“You know, he called me mom again by accident today. I think it’s sweet.”

Miguel didn’t speak, only wrapping his arms around your waist in a means to feel closer to your warmth. His hands traced your hips, as if contemplating.

“Maybe.”

It was short and gruff.

“Maybe what?”

Another beat of silence.

“Maybe I’ll consider him my work son when he stops being such a pain in my ass.”

You giggled, running your hands through his slick hair. The sweet cowlicks that followed always made you beam down at him.

“Isn’t that what sons are for?”

𓏸 🕸️ ₊﹒ ⟡ ﹙☆̲﹚

The final straw was Miles running into the office, excitement following his every step towards you. Miguel heard him approach, his back turned to the boy as he worked.

You heard a call of your name, followed by a cheerful, “You won’t believe this!”

In his hands was a paper, one with a big, bright red ‘A’ drawn in a circle as if branded onto the material. It was the very same assignment he had come to you groaning about, worried about his grade since he had to miss so many of the classes.

“Look! Got an ‘A,’ thanks to your help, that is!”

You laughed, taking the paper from his grip and giving him a wide smile. “Aw, I knew you could do it! Nothing the great Miles Morales can’t handle!”

Little did you know, Miguel was watching. Crimson eyes taking in every detail, every smile and act of kindness. You truly were like a second mother to him, always supportive and helpful when you could be. It… Made his heart warm. Oddly enough.

“Once again, thanks, work mom. It still feels weird calling you that, but I can’t see you any other way now.”

Pulling him into a hug, you gave another light laugh. “I’m here for you always. See you later, Miles.”

As he turned to leave, proud parchment in tow, he turned to wave to Miguel. “Later, work dad!”

That had him jump out of his skin. So much for that sweet moment.