Sorry-but-im-slightly-illiterate - We’re All Clueless

my coworker today was like “i bet you dont know this song” and put on Don’t Go Breaking My Heart. And I was like “yeah, of course I do, it’s Elton John” and he was like “who?” and I said “Elton John. He wrote this” and he was like “oh I don’t know about that, it’s just in the Chicken Little movie” 

My red flag - I keep log of all the icks the guys I’ve talked to gave me and I red flag the ones that are actually red flags so I can prevent myself from texting them again

Say it louder for the people in the back

I don't wanna fwy if you don't fwm U(⁎˃ᆺ˂)U

Capping out my likes on Hinge and then saying yes get me out of this hell hole

I can't do this anymore I hate this

Noah is a moanable name that is hard for me to respect

sims 4 patch notes will be like “fixed an issue where harvesting carrots caused toddlers to explode” then you load the game and all your sims are bald

ay can you watch him while i smoke