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Latest Posts by sophisticated-trash - Page 3
Writer's Guide: Writing about Alcoholic Drinks and Cocktails
Or how to write believable bar and nightclub scenes. I often find myself helping friends with their WIPs and often it as a bartender, I find myself having to correct them on bar and mixology terminology. So here's my quick guide to keeping your lingo on the straight and narrow.
Terminology
DASH/SPLASH: a drop of a mixer such as juice or flavouring.
MIXER: non alcholic beveraged served with the measure of alcohol in the same glass.
NEAT: Plain, without any addition of ice or a mixture. Just the alcohol.
ON THE ROCKS: Served over Ice.
STRAIGHT UP: The cocktail is chilled with ice and strained into a glass with no ice
DIRTY – if somebody asks for a dirty martini, you add olive juice, the more juice the dirtier it is
DRY- A dry martini includes a drop of vermouth and an extra dry martini contains a drop of scotch swirled in the glass and drained before adding the gin
BACK – a ‘back’ is a drink that accompanies an alcholic beverage such as water or Coke, but isn't mixed.
GARNISH – something added to a drink such as a lime or lemon or orange.
TWIST - a twist is literally a twist of fruit skin in the drink.
BITTERS – a herbal alcoholic blend added to cocktails.
RIMMED - the glass is coated in salt or sugar to enhance the taste.
VIRGIN- non alcoholic
MOCKTAIL- a virgin cocktail
DOUBLE - Two measures of the same alcohol in the same glass. A bartender can only legally serve a double in the same glass. They cannot serve you a triple.
Equipment
COCKTAIL SHAKER - it is a metal cup that fits into a glass, used to shake the components of your drink together with ice to chill it.
STRAINER- used to seperate ice in the shaker from the liquid within as you pour it into the glass.
MEASURES- these are little metal cylinders meant to measure out the pours of the alcohol. You pour the alcohol from the bottle into the measure and then put it into the glass. It's imperative that the right measure goes into the glass or the drink will taste of shit.
BAR SPOON – a long spoon meant to mix the drink.
OPTIC- it is a mechanism that attaches a bottle to an automatic pourer. The bartender usually fits the glass under the spout and pushes up to release the amount which cuts off at the single measure.
SHOT GLASS- a shot glass is a small glass to contain one measure
PINT GLASS- a glass used for serving pints of lager or ale
HALF PINT GLASS - a tulip shaped glass half the measure of a pint glass
SPEEDWELL/TAPS/DRAFT: are the taps used to pour beer from kegs stored under the bar floor.
SLIM JIM/HIGH BALL GLASS- It is a tall straight holding 8 to 12 ounces and used for cocktails served on the rocks such as a Gin and Tonic.
ROCKS GLASS - or an old fashioned glass, it is short and round. These glasses are used for drinks such as Old Fashioneds or Sazerac
COUPE GLASS- Are broad round stemmed glasses used for cocktails that are chill and served without ice such as a Manhattan, Boulevardier or a Gimlet
MARTINI GLASS - a martini glass is that classic stemmed "v" shaped glass, used to serve drinks without mixers such as Martini and Cosmopolitans
MARGARITA GLASS - is a large, round bowl like glass with a broad and a tall stem used for Margaritas and Daiquiris
HURRICANE GLASS- a tall tulip-like shaped glass with a flared rim and short stem. It holds 20 ounces which means it is the perfect glass to serve iced cocktails in such as Pina Colada, Singapore Sling, Hurricane
Alcoholic Drinks
Vodka- Vodka is made from potatoes or fermented cereal grains. It has a strong taste and scent. It is usually consumed neat with a mixer such as Coke or Orange juice or cranberry juice or in cocktails like Martini, Bloody Mary and Cosmopolitan.
Whisky/Whiskey- Whiskey is a distilled alcoholic beverage, made from fermented grain mash such as barley, corn, rye, and wheat. It gets its flavour form being fermented in casks for long period of time. When serving a whiskey, one asks whether they want ice or a mixer. Everyone has their own preference. I prefer mine like myself, strong and Irish. Scotch is Scottish Brewed whisky.
Rum- Rum is made by fermenting and distilling sugarcane molasses/juice. It is aged in oak barrels. It has a sweet taste.
Beer: is made out of cereal grains and served chilled in bottles or pulled from taps/speedwells.
Ale: Ale in the middle ages referred to beer brewed without hops (a kind of flowering plant that gives beer its bitter taste). It is sweeter and would typically have a fruity aftertaste.
Stout- is a darker beer sometimes brewed from roasted malt, coming in a sweet version and dry version, the most famous stout being Guinness.
Poitín- (pronounced as pot-cheen) is made from cereals, grain, whey, sugar beet, molasses and potatoes. It is a Dangerous Drink (honestly i still don't know how I ended up in that field with a traffic cone and a Shetland pony) and technically illegal. Country folk in Ireland used to brew it in secrets in stills hidden on their land.
Vermouth: Is made from infused with roots, barks, flowers, seeds, herbs, spices, brandy but vermouth is classed aromatized wine. It comes sweet or dry
Gin- is made from juniper, coriander, citrus peel, cinnamon, almond or liquorice and grain alcohol. Gin has a strong scent and taste and is usually served in a martini or a tonic water.
Schnapps- refers to any strong, clear alcoholic beverage. It is considered one of the best types of spirits because of its pure and delicate aroma. Lesson: never drink peach schnapps.
Cocktails and Drinks
Irish Coffee: an Irish coffee is adding whiskey to coffee and sugar and topping it with cream. As a bartender, I would honestly rather cut my arm off than make one of these.
Baby Guinness: Is a shot made by pouting Tia Maria or Kaluah into a shot glass and spreading Baileys on the top so it looks like a small pint of Guinness.
Silver Bullet: a shot of mixed tequila and sambuca.
Long Island Iced Tea: The Long Island contains vodka, gin, tequila, light rum, lemon juice, triple sec and cola. It has a real kick.
Mai Tai: is made with light and dark rum, lime juice, orange curacao, orgeat syrup and rock candy syrup and served with a mint garnish.
Manhattan: The Manhattan is made with rye whiskey, sweet vermouth and bitters.
Margarita: The margarita is made with tequila, cointreau and lime juice.
Mojito: a mojito is made with muddled mint, white rum, lime juice, simple syrup and soda.
Martini: a martini is made of gin, dry vermouth and garnished with a lemon twist or olives.
Mimosa: a mimosa is a made with sparkling wine and orange juice.
Mint Julep: Made with Kentucky bourbon, simple syrup, mint leaves and crushed ice
Pina Colada: is made with white rum, dark rum, pineapple juice and coconut cream
Screwdriver: Vodka and Orange juice
Tequila Sunrise: tequila, orange juice and grenadine
Tom Collins: made with spiked lemonade, sparkling water, lemon juice, simple syrup and gin
Whiskey Sour: is made with powdered sugar, seltzer, lemon juice and whiskey.
White Russian: made with vodka, coffee liqueur and cream.
Black Russian: made with two parts coffee liqueur and five parts vodka.
Gin and Tonic: gin served with tonic water
Bloody Mary: made with vodka and tomato juice mixed with lemon juice, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, horseradish, fresh herbs, brown sugar and cracked black pepper.
Brandy Alexander: served straight up and made with brandy, cognac, creme de cacao and cream
Cosmopolitan: Made with citrus vodka, Cointreau, cranberry juice and fresh lime juice
Daiquiri: made with rum, lime juice and sugar.
Gimlet: gin and lime juice
My Top 10 Bartending Rules and Responsibilities
Overpouring is never an option. You can seriously hurt somebody by overpouring, not to mention spoil the drink and ruin your sales. You only serve people what they ask and never more.
When somebody has had enough, you stop serving them. After a while, you know when to cut somebody off.
Never leave bottles on the counter or in reach of customers. Your expensive spirits should never be in reach of anybody but you.
If you tell somebody your selling them premium and top shelf alcohol, you cannot substitute with cheaper licqor. It's illegal.
As a bartender, your eyes always have to be scanning a crowd. You can't leave people hanging.
The golden rule - if you see somebody messing with someone's drink, you chuck it if you can or warn the person. And you get that son of a bitch out of your pub.
50% of the job is cleaning. You have to clean your tools constantly. You cannot reuse measures and spouts, you have to wash everything. Beer traps are clean out every night, rubber mats are washed and anything you have used has to be clean.
You have to hand dry your glasses. You never polish a pint glass as it fucks up the pint. You polish your cocktail glasses, shot glasses and straight glasses.
If someone seems down or on their own, you try make conversation. Often you'll hear some disturbing stuff but always try lend an ear or make everyone feel included.
If you break a glass in the ice bucket, you got to get rid of the ice.
Insult names to use instead of "idiot,"
None of these are actually meant to be hateful, if any of these have truely offensive meanings (such as the r word) that I was unaware of, please tell me so I can remove it! Tried to avoid cursing, but it contains some!
Jerk
Ass-hat
Dumb-dumb
Dummy
Doofus
Dork
Stupid
Moron
Fool
Nincompoop
Oaf
Ninny
Blockhead
Dunce
Imbecile
Jack-ass
Dope
Nit-wit
Numbskull
Simpleton
Twit
Birdbrain
Bonehead
Buffoon
Dullard
Half-wit
Knucklehead
Ignoramus
Dingbat
Dumbbell
Loser
Addlepate
Muttonhead
Cretin
Goon
Pea Brain
Dull Pencil
Mole Rat
Turd
“I will avenge my brother’s death!” yelled the adventurer. “You have my bow” his archer companion said. “And my axe” said the warrior. “And your brother” said the Necromancer.
“You can’t truly call yourself “peaceful” unless you are capable of great violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful, you’re harmless. A very important distinction. ” Our first contacts were harmless, those met later couldn’t tell the difference.
slides nasa $10 so, tell me about the aliens
How to Tell
by ttanner2448
There's been a couple issues and misunderstandings regarding humans and special effect. If you're what a human labels as "humanoid", chances are a human can replicate your appearance very well with just makeup. Combined with the uncanny way humans can mimic noises and social behaviors, the chances of a human being among you is low but not zero.
This doesn't sit too right with you if your kind is an enemy of human beings.
Forgiveness
It is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend. Those are the words the human ambassador told us. It was the reason given for why the Dex was almost entirely wiped out. This is the story from their perspective from one of the soldiers.
The Dex were the ones who had helped us reach the stars, gave us the secret to FTL travel. Because of them, we were included in the galactic fold. We gained allies and new trading partners. We also gained the knowledge that we were woefully average compared to the races in the galaxy.
48 years, for 48 years the alliance held. We even had a holiday for it, it’s The 28th of august. It was the day of humanity’s dreams coming true. We were known as diplomats and constructors, traders and protectors, and even as good allies and friends.
Our past is not something we looked back on fondly for it was full of death and destruction. We had buried it after joining the fold because we didn’t want to muddy the relationships with our new friends, Of course, we still built weapons of war but only for protection and sheer curiosity.
Violence was never something we wanted because to participate was to unearth a monster that sat long-buried. That was until the Dex attacked us. They had seen us as a crop they meant to harvest, they had waited for the right moment and invaded. They tried to take our factories and force our people to work for them, but when it didn’t work and they realized it was more effort than the worth they glassed our planet and everyone on it.
Trillions were wiped out immediately. At this time humanity was beyond our home planet, we had many colonies with billions on them. But Earth was special to us, It was our Home. We didn’t take the time to grieve, We were sad but an old feeling lodged itself in our hearts. That feeling is one we haven’t had in a long time, Rage.
In all the wars we’ve waged we always had empathy for our enemies, after all in many situations it was kill or be killed. Never before have we not had an ounce of empathy for our enemy. There is an old adage of our people, It’s easier to forgive an enemy than a friend.
It didn’t take long for our ambassador to reach their leader and we asked only one thing. We wanted their immediate and total surrender. They declined but the ambassador persisted saying that if surrender was not offered it would almost certainly be never accepted again. They didn’t only decline, they killed the ambassador.
We sent warships to their outer colony and asked one last time for their total surrender to which they responded with an attack. We fired one shot, not at the ship but the planet. As the projectile hit the atmosphere it ignited and torched the entire planet, The fire from the enemy stopped for a moment to witness what just happened. The flames from what was once the atmosphere were flowing like a liquid and the surface looked like a star.
The moment of silence didn’t last long as the battle commenced, projectiles launched back and forth but our firepower was superior. The first battle ended as quickly as it began. We continued on to planet after planet and annihilating them entirely. Soon our fleets reached their final destination, The Dexes Home planet. They sent transmission begging for mercy, to spare them.
It pained us to see what once was our deepest ally in such despair but the screams of death that our people faced at the hands of them were worse. We only sent one last transmission back “We are sorry this had to happen we wish it didn’t have to come to this but you killed trillions of our people. Perhaps this in another time we could’ve stayed allies, Goodbye friends we will miss you.” As the message was sent we waited for enough time for it to be read and launched the projectile.
The vision of the planet being destroyed did not fill us with joy but sadness, It truly pained us for it to end this way. On that day the Dex was not completely wiped out, we kept a single planet alive, and with it millions of Dex civilians. We did our best to help them, we gave them everything they needed to thrive and live on. That planet now has billions of Dex on it and we have included them into our fold just like they once did, but we had no plans of hurting them any further.
This is why we wanted nothing but peace because the horrors we can unleash horrify us deeply, We would rather this never happened in the first place.
I like the idea that humans are space orcs because of being walking trashbins which are a flaming wreckage of bodge jobs all the way down. Ships are floating clouds of debris under constant repair or... improvement. Space suits are held together with duct tape. We are literally covered in swarms of bacteria which are 50/50 on purpose or debilitating illness, not to mention filled up in side with the same.
Humans get sick or hurt and most aliens are just like "not sure if this is an infection, or if you'll die without it." The last time anyone tried to repair a human operated ship, the resulting explosion blasted a nearby moon through a wormhole into orbit around a different planet.
Even human genetics is a total trashpile, junk genes, weird extra DNA that no one knows what it does, former viruses, you name it, somewhere down the line humans just vacuumed up everything into the go-juice and stacked it up like a genetic hoarder. The study of human biology is half occult science half transmutation until one guy starts breaking it down and discovers chunks of hundreds of other alien genetics and basically it turns out Earth was a kind of "makeout point" back in the days of primordial ooze and was filled so full of outer space ejaculate that under a modern day equivalent of black light it still glows brighter than the sun.
I’ve been really getting into Space Orcs
Alien: Jake, what are you doing? Human: Oh, hey K’van. I’m just petting my cat. A: … what. H: Y’know, my animal companion? They use touch to express affection, so I’m petting her. A: But… is that not a predator of your world? I know of its cousins, and some of them aren’t much larger than that! You wouldn’t pet those, would you? H: First of all, if given the opportunity, and assuming they wouldn’t tear my arm off, I completely would, because I love cats. Second of all, yes, literally everything about Mittens is designed to kill. She has toe pads and a stride that make her virtually silent, whiskers that can detect the slightest movement, and retractable claws and razor sharp teeth. She can also jump, like, at least to my height. Yeah, she’s got at least two ways to kill me if she ever decided to. A: Then why would you ever domesticate a creature like this?! H: Well, we didn’t. A: I’m sorry, what? H: Yeah, they’re genetically and behaviorally identical to their ancestors. They just kinda hung around us because there were lots of rats and mice around our grain stores. A: So, you have essentially wild animals in your homes that don’t hurt you because they tolerate your presence? H: Yeah, pretty much. But they’re pretty affectionate. A: Really. H: Yeah, if we die and can’t feed them, our corpses are their last resort. A: This world is beyond screwed up.
kim dokja and his stupid sacrificial plans
Kim dokja is currently trying a pick up line on Yoo Jonghyuk
Kim dokja : are you http?
Kim dokja:because without you I'm ://
Yoo Jonghyuk, eyes wide: how-
Han Sooyoung, emerging from the bushes nearby: HOW THE FRICK DID YOU JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD
★ pot ★ - original post
kim dokja: *intense blushing* y-yoo joonghyuk! go on a d-date with me!
yoo joonhyuk: *also, intense blushing* a-alright.
han sooyoung: you two are literally fucking married to each other.
KDJ: I like murder mysteries
YJH, trying to impress him: I've been the prime suspect in four homicide investigations
Based on this post
This 👏 power 👏 couple 👏
Cr: twitter @1L9l2Aa8UCL0IGJ Blackbox-nim
You’re immortal and have passed the ‘hero’ phase centuries ago. You enter a small corner shop one day to find it is owned by your millennia-old arch-nemesis. You really, really need milk though.
I'd like to make a small addition to the Humans are Space Orcs trope (yes I'm super late I know)
So
You know the joke about aliens being weirded out that we pack bond with basically anything?
What if we introduced aliens to fandom culture
. . . :)
ships with height difference!!! <3
rb if u agree
gay_irl
☠️
In 2153, humans escaped from their ruined planet with the help of an AI-controlled fleet whose goal was to find humans a safe place for them to live and put themselves in cryo-sleep. When humans woke from their sleep they found a variety of messages begging humans to stop their mechanical god
Kevin Fiege: Loki is an ally of Thanos.
Me:
Wade: Cable just gave me a get better soon card…
Peter: Awe that’s sweet.
Wade: No, I wasn’t sick or anything? He just thought I should be better!
Bucky: you used to wear newspapers in your shoes Steve: *heart eyes* can’t read that in a museum Sam: seriously?? right in front of my salad???
Clint: Just remember; what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Natasha: What didn’t kill me should have tried harder.
Clint: Natasha!
Natasha: What?! I’d appreciate a little follow through once in a while..
Clint: You’re never going to let that go, are you?
Natasha: ...Even you couldn’t kill me when you had the chance.
Clint (contemplation shows in his face as his eyes coming to rest on one of the hospital pillows): ...
Natasha: Do it you coward.
Me to my last brain cells when I get asked a question at school
