The Loner - Short Story

The Loner - Short Story

Birth

Like most children, the Loner was born crying. Unlike most children, the Loner was also born fighting, squirming violently in the arms of the doctor as he tried to hand them to their mother. Their parents never quite knew what to do with them as they grew up, that vicious fighting instinct sticking with them even as they learned other ways to vent their emotions. When the Loner finally learned to speak, among their first words was the persistent repetition of the word “doom”.

Early Years

The Loner’s childhood was filled with just that: loneliness. Since learning to talk, they never quite learned to filter their language. The topic of doom—with occasional variations of “the end of the world” and “Armageddon”—was almost always on their lips. Their parents came to ignore it, pretending it wasn’t happening, just like they did with everything else they deemed odd from their child. The children at school never managed to do the same. They always did their best to steer clear of the Loner, even when all they wanted was something as harmless as teaching their peers how to efficiently sharpen a stick into a spear.

The Collection

Shortly after the Loner entered second grade, a secret collection of food began to grow in their bedroom. They quickly discovered the short lives of the bananas and ham and cheese sandwiches their mother packed for their lunches. The cans they stole from the pantry, however, never seemed to fail them as the other foods did. Cans accumulated in every hidden corner of their room: under the bed, at the back of the closet, and at the bottom of their toybox.

The Model

High school shop class quickly established itself as a favorite of the Loner. They were allowed to build whatever they wanted, so long as they made sure to complete their actual assignments, and it was in that class that they built their first bunker model. Wood sanded perfectly smooth held the shape of their dream home and they could barely hold back their excitement over their creation. The Loner proudly showed the model off to their parents and, met with their characteristic disappointment and disapproval, resolved to keep it hidden on the top shelf in their closet. Only they could truly appreciate the craftsmanship.

Higher Education

College was never in the Loner’s plans. Their parents begged them to go, but there was nothing they could do when the Loner signed up for a survival camp instead. It wasn’t different from most other summer camps, aside from the poisoned water and the death of four campers. There, the Loner finally received the final pieces of their education and when they returned from camp, they were ready to move out into the world on their own.

Home

The Loner’s first home was, as it would turn out, also their final home. They hand-built their fortress in a section of forest just near enough to society to reasonably live. Everything about it was perfect from the complex water filtration system, to the diverse garden in the greenhouse, to even the armory hidden in the basement. Their favorite part of their home was none of those details, but rather the bunker nestled below the basement. It matched that first prototype almost exactly, with only a few important differences in the air filtration system and the food storage. As the rug that laid before their front door said, this was truly their “Home Sweet Home”.

The Outbreak

The day the first outbreak aired on the news, a persistent knocking came at the Loner’s door. They knew who their guests were even before checking the security cameras; their parents, old teachers, and old classmates crowded at their doorstep. Everything the Loner had warned and tried to teach them about was coming true and they begged the Loner to save them. The Loner contemplated their options for dealing with their unexpected guests for a while—days, actually—before making their decision. They knew they’d be hated for their choice but, as they reasoned with themselves, they only had accommodations for one.

Survival

Long after those guests rotted away, the Loner lived peacefully in the fortress they’d built. Every aspect of the survival system they’d created served them dutifully. Despite its perfect working condition, they spent much of their free time even further upgrading their home, just for fun. As soon as the Loner managed to fix the local telephone lines, communication was quickly revived in the surrounding area. It took some time, but a close community of survivors eventually rose from the ashes of their fallen society.

They knew it was still too dangerous to travel outside so underground tunnels were soon built between the survivors’ homes, further connecting their new community. After a month of heavy negotiation, a simple trade system was established in their community, allowing proper sharing of all of their resources. The Loner was everyone’s go-to person for whatever they might need, and the Loner’s prices were always the fairest in the community. Despite the unlivable conditions beyond their walls, the Loner eventually settled into a comfortable life. They finally weren’t alone.

Death

Of all of the causes the members of the old society died from, the Loner died peacefully of old age. The friends they’d made in local survivors made the journey to their fortress to stay with them in their final hours. It was a peaceful release, the most peaceful the survivors witnessed in the many years following the outbreak, and it was the end of the Loner’s long life.

This is a piece I wrote for a creative writing course I took recently. I don’t have any current plans to continue it but I thought it’d be nice to share it with you all! I hope you guys like it!

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Hello again, everyone! Since posting my review of @authorkimberlygrey’s wonderful novel Ascendant, it’s been published and is now available to all of you! If you’d like to support this wonderful author and get your hands on one of the best stories I’ve ever read, head on over to Amazon or Barnes & Noble and order your copy!

Ascendant by Kimberly Grey Review

Summary: For hundreds of years, war has raged across the realm of Guardian Angels. White-Wing against Black-Wing. Grace is the Saboteur, daughter of the White-Wing Spy Master, destined to end the war once and for all. But all of that is snatched away when she is captured by the Black-Wings. Trapped in their secret city, Grace finds herself questioning everything.

Going into this story, I already knew it was in my usual reading wheel-house. I’m always a sucker for fantasy stories, especially ones with complex conflict. This story was absolutely no exception.

I’ll admit that I became a touch worried at some points, having noticed some of the tell-tale signs of upcoming cliches that, while I always enjoy, I’ve seen written poorly too many times. Kimberly Grey pleasantly surprised me, however. Not only did Grey execute some of my beloved cliches, but they also lead some of them into outcomes I absolutely did not expect. And, let me tell you, I loved it.

Grace, as the main character, is a brilliant narrator to follow. Not only does she begin the story believing in her mission and the people alongside her, but the reader is given the opportunity to watch as her own understanding of the world, war, and everything around her actually develops. After all, Grace is still a child in this war, a child that has been misled and trained to be a soldier all her life. On top of that, she’s just an all-around lovable character and I really enjoyed my time with her.

On top of the complex conflict and lovable narrator and her development, I absolutely loved the focus on found-family in this story. It’s been a while since I had the opportunity to read a story with a well-written found-family element and, I must say, this was refreshing and incredibly satisfying. Grey could’ve easily written a romantic relationship between Grace and her new family member, but, again, pleasantly surprised me by creating a loving, sibling relationship. Thank you so much for that.

If this was already in Goodreads and Amazon, it would absolutely get a five-star rating from me (and it will receive those ratings as soon as possible). I highly recommend this book, and I’m excited to see this published so that more people can take in this story.

If you would like to learn more about this story, check out the “ascendant” tag on @authorkimberlygrey‘s page!

I received an ARC in exchange for an honest review.


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5 years ago

How to Write During a Pandemic

How To Write During A Pandemic

Hi all, Normally I keep this blog focused on writing advice and steer away from politics, but with the COVID-19 pandemic raging and all the accompanying uncertainty about our future post-climate change, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a writer on a rapidly changing planet. What’s our responsibility in a time like this? What kind of stories do we need right now? Is it even possible—or desirable—for our individual creativity flourish when we’re scared for our very lives? With that in mind, I wanted to offer my thoughts on how to renegotiate your relationship with your writing during this crisis, as well as some proposals for how to navigate the changes to come.

WHY IT’S HARD TO WRITE RIGHT NOW

Did you think being stuck at home, underemployed, and/or socially isolated would translate to more time spent on your writing… Only to discover, um, it didn’t? You’re not alone. While shutdowns, quarantine, and self isolation may be theoretically creating conditions that give you lots of time to write, many writers are more blocked than ever right now. Here’s why.

You’re Terrified. Even in the best of circumstances, writers under capitalism are regularly paralyzed by the fear that spending time on their writing is “unproductive” (read: non-income producing), frivolous, or even reckless. So it makes sense that it would be difficult to put time into a purely recreational creative activity given the heightened survival fears arising from these extreme circumstances.

Your Stories Suddenly Seem Irrelevant. Even if you can get yourself to sit down and write right now, crisis conditions can create an existential angst that causes you to question whether what you’re writing is still relevant, important, or helpful to others. Personally, I haven’t been able to write in days. Prior to this outbreak I was working on a darkly whimsical fairy tale about a monkey and a bear that escape from the circus. I thought it was relevant and deep—the story deals with themes of feminism, transformation, and survival under capitalism. But under the bright light of a viral pandemic, stories that once seemed deeply significant can suddenly feel like irrelevant fluff.

You Don’t Know How to Do Anything Different. Let’s face it—your pre-pandemic writing life was created to work well with your pre-pandemic life life. Now that your life has changed, you need to change your writing habits, too… But you don’t know how to do anything different. So you either freeze up and get nothing done, or try to ignore what’s happening and charge ahead like nothing has changed. Neither of these techniques work well, though. Now that your life is different, you need to do something different with your writing.

HOW TO KEEP WRITING DURING A PANDEMIC

Warning: I’m not going to urge you to stay the course and push ahead with your normal writing life against all odds. I don’t think that advice is realistic, and frankly it’s not responsible, either. Creative people are the vanguards of social change. If shit is going down, it’s our job to innovate and pivot, not to cling like barnacles to the status quo.

How to Write… When You’re Scared You’re Going to Die

First thing’s first: Lower your expectations. You might need to throw all your old plans (“I’m going to finish my novel next month!”) out the window. You might not be able to write as much, or as often, or about the same things you used to. That’s okay. Be gentle with yourself. See if you can write for ten minutes a day. Use an internet blocker to give yourself a break from the constant, anxiety-producing COVID-19 updates you’ve been reading since you woke up. Turn off your phone. If you can’t make any progress on your WIP, write something else.

There’s going to be a lot of pressure from the mainstream to keep things “business-as-usual” during this time. Fuck that. You’re not a robot. Write in a journal, or on social media, or don’t write at all, really, it’s fine. Lay down and cry. Let what’s happening touch you. As a creative person, we need you to absorb and process this crisis so you can write something that gives insight into our present and creates a vision for our future. If you need to take a break, change course, or give up for a while, do it.

What to Write… When You’re Drowning in Existential Angst

If your WIP suddenly feels irrelevant to your life and the world around you, write something else! Try a new story, new characters, new themes. If you usually write fiction, try nonfiction. If you’re anxious about our future, imagine a new one. If you’re angry about losing your job, write about that. And if all you can think about is the Coronavirus, for god’s sake write about the fucking Coronavirus. Remember: Our old stories got us here. If they feel stupid now there’s a good reason. Things are changing. In order to co-create a better future we’re going to need new stories, new art, new creative work that deals with our current reality and shows us how to make a better one. Let me repeat that:

We need new stories. The lone wolf hero who conquers all odds; the hetero-normative romance that results in an isolated nuclear family unit; the super special person who alienates themselves with a droney inner monologue of me me me wah wah wah but never has their come-to-jesus moment; the capitalist success stories and pessimistic dystopias… these old, status quo, individualist narratives will no longer serve us as our environment becomes increasingly inhospitable and industrial capitalism disintegrates.

The Coronavirus is not a fluke. The world is changing, fast, and we need writers like YOU to step up their game. The stories we tell each other matter. We need writing that teaches us how to take care of each other. How to trust each other, come together, and heal the wounds of fear and distrust that this brutal, competitive economic system has left behind. Writing is a powerful medium for change and we’re in a unique position right now (lots of time on our hands, very little left to lose) to take advantage of that.

It’s not going to be easy. Toeing the line is often highly rewarded. To make matters worse, in the short run, as people are quarantined in their homes with only online interactions and books to keep them company, there will be an increased demand for mindless, comforting, status quo media—movies, TV shows, fiction, etc.—that perpetuates old ways of thinking and does nothing to hearken the change we need right now.

Some people would argue that brainless entertainment and comforting fluff has its place, too, and overall I agree with that. It’s true we need distraction, entertainment, humor, and beauty in times like these. Every piece of creative work doesn’t have to scream out an Important Message. (It’s also true that there are already lots of awesome, relevant stories being told. It’s not all shit out there.)

But if you, like me, feel the tug to create work right now that feels more significant, while at the same time struggling with the pressure to conform to the status quo, I urge you to be courageous enough not to take the bait.

How to Do Something Different… When You Don’t Know How To Do Anything Different

In times of insecurity and flux, it’s common to default to familiar behaviors and narratives. How can we do something different when we’re so freaked out? How do we discover and create stories that feel connected to our new reality… when we don’t even know what that reality is yet? How do we establish new writing habits when things are changing on a daily basis?

Grieve your losses. We’re experiencing devastating personal, social, financial, and environmental losses on every scale right now. The ice is melting and the forests are burning, people are dying and animals are going extinct… but that novel you started last year that you were so excited about may also be dead. Take time to be sad about it, all of it. Ignoring this pain won’t make it go away. If you feel overwhelmed and don’t know what to do, cry. You might be surprised what possibilities open up once you let yourself feel it.

Start small. Begin with today, right now. Don’t make any big, longterm plans; they’ll probably change anyway. Figure out how to make 10 minutes today to write something that speaks to you. If you can’t conceive of a novel, draft a short story. If you can’t write a short story, write a poem or a social media post. Take a look at your WIP and see what needs to change to make it feel more valuable and interesting to you right now. Read something that inspires you.

Connect with others. Talk to other writers about how they’re handling this time, what they’re writing and thinking about. Stay close with your chosen family. We may have to physically isolate but now is not the time to be cut off from others.

Be kind to yourself. Part of what we need to say goodbye to right now is the constant inner criticism put in our heads by a global elite who have deeply invested in our insecurity, self-hatred, and fear in order to further their selfish profit-making agendas. Like, their time is DONE, and one way to give them the proverbial fuck-you is to be super duper sweet to yourself and those around you. Shit is really scary right now. You’re doing great.

Contact me. I’d love to know what’s going on for you during this pandemic and how I can support you and your writing. I might not be able to individually respond to every message, but the more I understand what’s going on for folks the better I can create stuff—blog posts, etc.—that helps. xo


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    sonjathewriter reblogged this · 4 years ago
sonjathewriter - A Reading & Writing Blog
A Reading & Writing Blog

Sonja | They/Them 🏳️‍🌈| 18+Hello and welcome to my blog! Here you’ll find posts about both reading and writing, as well as the occasional book review!Icon made w/ @adriabun’s picrew

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