It’s So Much Work To Front When You Haven’t In A While

Being plural sometimes is being super deep in a self destructive maladaptive daydreaming session and having another alter *literally* shake you back to being aware, being able to give them hugs and have someone to cry on while you try and ground yourself. An extreme act of love and care.

Other times the little bitch that runs this blog steals AN ENTIRE HALF GALLON OF MY CHOCOLATE MILK AND THE LAST OF MY HOMEMADE BBQ SAUCE

May you're a bitch and imma eat whenever snacks our boyfriend buys you next /hj

-Eef

There’s a chance our first fictive from a popular source will be Szeth son-son Vallano. Our only previous fictive is from a tiny tiny source so I need to get my feelings sorted out* before this presence I feel ends up becoming someone xP

*I just don’t know what it will be like to have a mainstream fictive, and uncertainty makes me anxious, of course I’ll treat any new headmates as well as possible

do y'all have different voices or speaking patterns externally?

yes, voices

yes, speaking patterns

yes, both

no

unknown/nuanced

(maybe a week long poll cause we're curious about this and want as many results as possible but if not a day is fine :3)

reworded the question slightly so it fits better :3

and yeah, ofc u can have a week one heh (I'm actually happy that someone asked for it heh-)

For me communication got easier when I stopped being so paranoid about whether I was faking or not, but if that doesn’t apply to you, disregard.

If possible, find a headmate you like who gives you permission to use positive triggers to pull to front sometimes (though discuss boundaries around when and how that’s done), and focus on communication with that one specific headmate. That’s how I became friends with Shekel - he has an incredibly vivid presence, so I can really tell when he’s nearby/co-con/fronting, and I’ve learned how to positive trigger him forward. I don’t do it often, because he’s busy on the inside and gets tired when too close to front for too long, but he told me that he’d rather me pull him to front than put the body through a panic attack, so I tend to reach out to him first. Once you learn good communication with one you can both work on communication with others.

I don’t know if you can hear your headmates on the inside, but if you can, try talking with them about things they like when they’re around - they’ll be more likely to have a genuine conversation that way in my experience, and it’ll open up communication.

I also recommend physical touch on the inside if that’s something you’re capable of and comfortable with. 90% of my interactions with the others are them coming up behind me when I’m fronting and ruffling my hair, rubbing my shoulders, slapping my ass, hugging me, etc because they know it helps comfort me and keep me calm. We find that the more we can touch in headspace the more we can communicate by… handing each other thoughts? It’s hard to explain, and it is different from communicating on the inside with words, but when Shekel and I were building the Council and debating who should be on it we were so co-conscious and overlapped on the inside it almost felt like we were having two trains of thought but we kept using our brains and each other’s to think with. I couldn’t tell if he was having a thought with my brain or if I was having a thought with his brain, but we were having ideas and discussing them without needing to say a word.

Lastly, written conversations are super helpful, but I’ve found some tricks. When co-con I like to still use discord or simply plural to write out a chat partially for posterity and partially because it’s easier to think when you’re not trying to think into someone’s brain. It really helps communication, but it can be hard to have a genuine conversation, especially if you don’t know each other well. It’s helpful to leave messages around for other headmates (ie a sticky note that says “you are safe” for any headmates that find themselves in front and are confused, or writing your shopping/to-do list on the body’s arm so everyone knows what’s supposed to be happening if they end up in front) but it’s hard to communicate through notes alone from our experience. That’s why I like to try and get them talking about themselves and their interests, it’s just a deeper bonding activity. We’re trying to pair our known headmates up into ones that specifically practice communicating with each other to better improve group cohesion, and I saw that Tamm was asking Lysander about his exomemories. They’ve never spoken directly that I know of, but they’re going to leave each other messages on simply plural until they become friends enough to communicate on the inside/more directly, and then if I want to talk to Lysander I can reach out to Tamm, who I tend to see more often.

Sorry this is so long, but good luck with communication and I hope this helps some! As always feel free to ignore any advice that doesn’t apply to or help you.

-Jay

Need to start working on getting better communication with the other's cause I'm getting anxious about not being able to have a full conversation with them and having a hard time contacting them.

I don't quite know where to start so any advice would be nice :)

Long system ask game!

Because it's been ages since we made one and we felt like it.

What type of system are you?

How many people are there in your system?

Do you have more introjects or non-introjects?

How much control do you have over your headspace (if you have one)?

Do you have any subsystems?

Do you have any in-system couples?

How did you discover your systemhood? Or did you become one on purpose?

How do you feel about system roles, and do you use them?

What are your thoughts on Pluralpedia?

Do you use anything to keep track of switching?

Have you ever had a change in hosts?

Do you have a system name? How did you pick it?

Do you have any nonhuman members? Feel free to list their species!

Do you have any headspace pets?

Current fronter/fronters, share some random info about you!

Do you have a partner system? How did you meet?

Have you ever mistaken a character of yours for a headmate? What about the other way around?

Does anyone have any skills that the others don't?

What's something y'all tend to agree on?

What about something you tend to disagree on?

Do symptoms of neurodivergencies/mental illness tend to manifest the same way or differently among headmates?

Do you have any syskids?

Share an in-system joke!

Has how you view your plurality changed?

If you have fictives, do they participate in their source fandom? If yes, are they open about who they are in fandom spaces?

How do you handle headmates having different spiritual beliefs?

How do you decide on major life decisions (where to live, what to study, what work to have, etc)?

Do you have any system traditons?

Current fronter, do you have your own playlist? Feel free to share it!

Do you have any art of anyone in the system? Feel free to show it off!

How do you handle it when people in the system don't get along?

Current fronter, is there anything that makes it obvious you're the one fronting? (Voice, accent, body language, typing style, etc)

If you have syskids, how do they feel about stereotypical "babby tawk"?

Share something about your newest member!

Do you tend to have collective or separate interests and hobbies?

If you have introjects, what source do you have the most from?

Are you out as plural to anyone irl?

Do you know any systems irl?

Which headmate was the biggest surprise?

Do you have a singletsona?

Do you have any collective labels?

What's the most common gender in your system?

What's the most common sexuality in your system?

What's your favorite app/website/etc for plural stuff?

Do you tend to have the same taste in food or not?

Is it hard or easy for you to switch?

Do you experience system-related amnesia?

Share something weird a headmate has done!

Current fronter, what's your favorite ice cream flavor?

Share a silly fear someone in the system has!

Current fronter, describe your aesthetic!

If you have outworld pets, do they tend to act differently around different headmates?

Has anyone ever figured out you were a system without you telling them?

When it comes to syskids, is there anyone in particular that takes care of them?

Does anyone in the system identify as otherkin, therian, or fictionkin?

Have you ever switched in an awkward moment? What happened?

Do you ever switch without realizing it?

Are you ever blurry? How do you handle it?

Has anyone ever treated an introject badly because of who their source is?

Current fronter, share a pic of your "face claim!"

Sunset on Loch Ness 🌅

scotland.co

by ilonaramona

I’ve been trying to figure out if two of my lads are the same person at different times in their life, so I feel this xP neither of them know for sure but either it’s the sort of thing where they come as a set, one dark one light, or one of them is the first one with another thousand years of life and a corruption arc. No clue how to actually figure it out, but so far with us we’ve just been making sure that either option is equally okay and not worrying about it. By making sure it’s okay I mean that we acknowledge both possibilities and make sure no one expresses a preference - ie “I sure hope X is someone different from me because I don’t want to be him!” or “wouldn’t it be awesome if X and Y have been the same person all along??” because that pressure could hurt one of them if it ends up being true or not.

Hey I've been literally trying to figure this out for 3+ weeks, and I've yet to get any help from where I asked before so I decided to run to Tumblr finally and I found you so !! I guess I'll ask here, do you know how to figure out if you have two of the same alters in source ('doubles') with slight differences or if one alter has two different versions of the same source? (Ex. How to tell if I have Link & Blue Link, or does Link just have memories of both) For reference i have talked to this alter, this is his question, he cannot tell himself either

I actually haven't had any experience with this,but will try my best to help anyway!

I think knowing will likely come with time, but in the meantime, maybe try engaging with source in some way to see if maybe that could help establish some distinct differences between the two. Kind of see if you can get a "Hey that's me!" Moment.

Anyone else can feel free to add to this,maybe someone has a more in depth answer than I can give.

I hope ya'll can figure it out!

- Star,Oliver

/genq, i don't want this to be an unwelcoming place D:

!! please only vote the last one if you're not followed !!

What the hell is going on here??

So, I know there was a rough morning. Jackys been in and out of regression all day. So I'm trying to take care of him. But hes extra sensitive this time?? He's always really sensitive when he's little but it's worse today. He hardly even wanted to color!

And the body, this stupid thing, it feels like its been in panic this whole time. I can't get it to right itself. I've showered, eaten, gone for a walk. But I can't get the breathing to even out or the heart to slow down or to stop jumping at every little sound.

I keep trying to look at the notes about the system or ask around but I keep getting dizzy when I try or it feels like I'm bring spun to face the other way. IM JUST TRYING TO HELP??? And I asked HL about it and he just told me to "stop scrambling" myself like that gets me anywhere. NO!!! No it does not!

Fucks sake. Does anyone know what's happening or what I'm supposed to do here?? My head hurts.

-🐙