Just Tryna Pull Off This G Outfit , I Know It’s Completed Differently Coloured Denim But I Enjoy It

Telling my future children this is Matty Healy

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Thanks for the tag @goldrushgoingunder

Home and Lock Screen are Mr George Daniel Currently cuz I’m the biggest G-Man going 😂😂😂(it changes between Matty and G on a weekly basis)

Pinterest - Hairs styles and 75 tattoo ideas cuz again why would it not be

Spotify - Bagsy Not In Net cuz I was having a Notes day 😂

Tagging - @justanamesstuff @medeas-chariot @puffpasstea

Chapter 25

Word count : 2917

This chapter contains , a lot of mention of drugs and drug use , anxiety and being high

This chapter is written in a slightly different style I hope you enjoy but please give me feedback if you prefer it the other way or this way. It's not to much different just more clear demographics of who is typing when it comes to texting I suppose but yeh I'd still love some feedback that would be grandly appreciated ❤️

Matty's POV

It really wasn't George's fault that I got so worked up over a single question he was just trying to help, and I genuinely am so grateful for him and everything he does for me but I'm fragile and my state of mind is so frail , has been for the longest time and certain stuff sets me off, George left the call a few hours ago his Mum came home so he had to go talk to her about what happened at school and then I think he got caught up with studying, we're texting but I still feel like I'm going to explode my anxiety has been through the roof since he's been gone, I meant it earlier when I told him he calms me, he's like the literal embodiment of Pablo Picasso's painting of the Dove of Peace that represents peace and unity, maybe a little pretentious of me but it's true , he's like a lighthouse in a storm if you may.

I'm currently sat with my Mum, Dad and Louis , watching Star Wars , my Mum thought it would be good if we all spend sometime together, When she got home from work she could tell I was hopped up and skittish, she did try to speak to me but I said I was fine but she insisted we all spent some time together. Really all I want to do is go get high or drunk at this point I don't really mind which option is pulling me in most. My mum had poured herself a class of red wine before we started the film and it's all that's been on my mind since I sat down, I doubt I'll be allowed anything, my dad usually offers me a beer but right now I don't think they'll let me and Louis is sat on my knee and I don't want to disturb him, I'm biting my nails now trying to concentrate on the film and not the ticking of the clocks in the room that are surely just going to blow my brain up in a minute.

"Matthew", my Mum brought me out of my haze.

"Mhm", my reply was muffled by my mouth still chewing on my nails.

"Hands", I look at her quizzically for a second as I don't quite know what she means, "stop chewing your nails love", my hands drops from my mouth immediately

"Sorry Mum" , I carefully lift Louis of my knee must to his protest and ruffle his hair, "my eads really cloudy right now I can't concentrate, I'm just going to lay down for a little while, I'm sorry".

"You alright son", I just nod at my dad with a halfhearted smile and make my way upstairs the quiet of my own room and head probably won't be much better but I just need to be alone. I make it to my room and just slump down on my bed the duvet felt to soft but also really scratchy but there's nothing I can do about that right now, I feel like I was just laying there staring at the ceiling, falling into a spiralling vortex with nowhere to go but it was really only a couple of minutes. My hands where twitching like mad and I could just feel a tingling sensation through my whole body and I hated it. I knew what I needed right about now so I instantly pull my phone free from my pocket and scroll through my texts till I find his number

Corey (Bigman) , If I could trust anyone to have anything to quell my anxiety Corey would have it so I fire him a quick text

Matty: yo it's Matty , are you about!

Corey : yeh bro 😎, what you after?

Matty: I don't know just something to calm me the fuck down.

Corey : right no worries man, meet me at the oak in ten yeh don't be late.

Matty: cool.

I sit up a little resting on my elbows to keep me steady taking a second to just breath or at least try to relax my breathing, then scrub my hands down my face and go back downstairs "I'm gunna go for a walk clear my ead, I'll be back in a bit yeh, it's only about 8, I'll get something from the shop if you want", I pull on my old tattered black vans and I wait for a response and shove my wallet into my back pocket , stick my head round the door and notice that Louis has fully zonked out on the couch "do you guys want anything from the shop?"

"No thanks love, please be safe, call me if you need anything and don't be long alright, I know it's summer and it's light out but you still need to careful , come give your mum a hug first first" , I roll my eyes and smile while I make my way over and pull my Mum into a tight hug. "We love you Matthew , be careful alright"

"I love you too Mum" as I pull away I try to sent the most reassuring smile her way. "I'm alright though" , I say goodbye again leaving the room and snag my jacket (Jamie's jacket ), from the coat rack and slip out the door, and start the journey to the Oak Hill, on my way I send a Snapchat to George not really of anything just the scenery and just put a little heart on the screen before sending. The walk is peaceful really besides a few hoodlam kids across the other side of the road making the biggest ruckus for absolutely no reason but I ignore it. After about five minutes I get a reply from George a pretty artsy picture of all his school books on his desk

George: where you off to love❤️?

Again I don't really send a snap because if I'm going to show him around Manchester I want to do it in person not through a screen or pictures , Pictures rarely do anything justice

Matty: just on a walk darlin , tryna clear my head , how's the enforced studying going 😂

George: it's an absolute nightmare honestly I don't know how people do this on purpose , clearing your head are you still upset?

Matty: honestly yeh my heads all over the place still but it's okay I'm trying to calm down darlin , also I can 100% feel your there studying is the worst thing about of school 😂

George: I'll call you once my parents go to bed I'll just need a minute to be sure so I don't get caught, I miss your face already love.

I quickly skim read his message again and slip my phone in my pocket and turn the corner coming face to face with Corey, he's got a joint in between his lips and I can see he's holding another in his hands with a lighter next to him. He looks up at me nodding and hands me the joint

"Have this with me first lad then I can hook you up with gear yeh"

I willingly take the joint and quickly flick the lighter a couple of times before the end lights up sparking an amber glow and I inhale the contents deeply sighing as I release "This is good shit"

"Quite strong so It might calm you down lad" he pats the ground next to him indicating for me to sit with him, I pull him up in the offer and slide myself next to him. Watching as he fiddles with my gear in his pocket and passes it over to me. "You given me good weed recently too lad so I'll give you this for free, but please be careful", I nod along with him as I take the baggie from him and slip it into my pocket. "What's up lad, you haven't come to me in a while, what's troubling ya.?"

"My heads all over the place and I can't shut anything up, I just want everything to be quiet for a bit, be able to breath you know" , I continue to inhale the substance and then go back to texting George as Corey starts trying to help me through something, he's not the smartest button in the box. I take a picture of the joint in my hand the flash causing the smoke to seem grey and float across my screen

Matty: "I fuckin miss you too man Jesus , it's not even been that long and it's scary, and yeh please don't get yourself into anymore trouble, we can call when you can , I don't know if I'll be home straight away but I'll let you know yeh"

With that I slip my phone into my pocket and pull the baggie out again "you wanna share it then Corey, I don't mind" , as I'm saying this I pull out my credit card from my wallet and preparing what I need , the oak is a very secluded area no one will catch us, I don't even know if it's an oak tree to be honest it's just a tree on the outskirts of the park that's been chopped down and just lying there , kids come here all the time to drink and party in summertime. I take a bump from the coke from the corner of my card letting it take through my body, it makes me shiver a little, and I then pass the stuff over to Corey as I feel my blood start to heat up a little. I take a seat leaning against the trunk of the tree and lol my head backwards and stare up to the sky, the starts looking like tiny torchlights leading the way to the heavens and they spin around us slowly , after a while Corey sits next to me

“So man , is it working is your head quieting down yet bro ?”, come to think of it it has a little, there’s still that anxious lump in my throat and my heart is still going a million miles a minute but my brain is a little quieter. A little foggy but quiet.

“It’s a little foggy and everything is still really grey and colourless but yeh it’s quiet”

“What had you so hopped up in the first place lad”, he pulls more papers out his pockets and starts rolling another joint as I close my eyes and let the world go on around me talking as i fall into a peaceful state of bliss

“I don’t wanna talk about right now” , once Corey finished rolling the joint he passes it over to me and I light up again bringing it to my lips inhaling then ask “bro got any drink on ya”

“I’ve got beer in my bag”

“That’ll do , not the best but it’ll do”, he pulls a can of carlins from his bag and passes me a can as well as opening a can for himself. “Bro how do you always just know what I need”, He’s known me a while now and always been able to set me up some good gear when I’ve needed it.

“I just know you bro”, we just spend some time drinking and smoking, we did a few more bumps of coke. It has been about an hour and a half at this point my brain had stopped racing everything was quiet and I was getting really tired. Corey was zoned out next to me and I was nearly half asleep. “I think imma go now lad, are you coming or are you just gunna sit for a bit”

“Nah man I’m good ay, just leave me one last can will ya”, I didn’t feel like what I said was actually how it came out, everything was slurred and just blending together as I said it but I’m sure he understood. “Thanks again Corey, you always have what I need when I need help”

“It’s cool bro don’t worry”, he got up from his place on the ground probably at a normal speed but too me it looked like everything was in slow motion and he dropped his last can next to me. “Be safe yeh”, after we said our goodbyes he walked off back in the direction of the park.

I don’t know how much longer I sat there just nursing the beer that was left for me , but eventually I started to feel like I was sinking into the ground my heart started beating faster, a lot faster than normal which started to freak me out a little. Causing my breathing to come in fast burst. This makes me open my eyes and everything around me spinning , making my head hurt “not again nah I can’t do this right now” , I pull my phone out and start stabbing at my screen trying to find someone’s number, anyone’s number I don’t care who at this point. The more I search the more I start to panic I hate this. Eventually my eyes fall on Ross’ name and I click his name and bring the phone to my ear and hear it ring a few times and it goes to voicemail “no, no, no , please pick up”, I press his name again hearing the ringer go through again “please Ross pick up” , I’m beyond panic at this moment and I can’t concentrate right. Eventually he does pick up

“Yo Matty what is it?”

“Ross , is that you!”

“Uh yeh , you called me so I’d assume you know”

“Ross I’m scared I need you, can you come get me please”

“What do you mean you scared , where are you!?”

“I can’t breath and my brain feels like it’s going to explode”

“Matty mate , where are you?”

“Um …I …I’m at the. Uh the oak”

“Okay lad, I’ll be five minutes, do you want me to stay on the phone”

“Please…Ross please make it stop”, I could hear him on the other side, pulling on his jacket and his keys rattling as he pulled his door shut.

“What did you do mate?”

“I just needed my brain to shut up for a second, nothing was working, I needed it stop…and and…and it did…but now I can’t …can’t breath”

“Matty ….I swear you need to tell me , what did you take” , he’s outside now I can hear the crunching of leaves under his feet , Ross’ house was just around the corner so he shouldn’t be too long.

“How long will you be?”

“Stop swirving lad what did you take?”

“Um I uh. I …the usual” , I could feel water running down my face now, I don’t know when I stared crying but apparently I had.

“Mate , seriously , what’s wrong?, I’m just round the corner”

“I don’t know what’s wrong Ross, I really don’t know” , as I was finishing that senatnce I could hear him trudging through the forested area behind me but I couldn’t lift my head properly for to long “is …is that you ?”

“Yes , I’m going to hang up now”

I heard the dial tone give out and then Ross was running over to me “let’s get you up okay …on three yeh”, he wrapped an arm around me and he tried to pull me up “1, 2 , 3” , I pushed a little as he pulled me up. “Where going back to mine okay?, you can’t go home like this”, I just subtly nodded because even just slightly moving my head hurt so much, he wrapped and my arm around his shoulders and we began to walk back to his in silence which didn’t feel good but I just couldn’t conjure up a sentance.

We stumbled through his front door, I could hear his mum calling from the bedroom asking what was wrong and he just told her that I was out and I’m a bit pissed so I’m staying here rather than going home that made me chuckle not in a good way “bit pissed as if”

“Bro this ain’t funny come one,” we made our was upstairs he dragged me along with him taking one step at a time. It was hard even just walking never mind conquering stairs “where do you need to go , lay down or vomit”

“Nah nah I just need a lie down” , he pulled me into his bedroom and helped me up to then bed and he sat next to me softly pulling my head into his lap and laying against the headboard

“What are we gunna do with you huh?”

Chapter 12

Word count 1013

This chapter is just a sweet little filler , slight mention of drugs , angst

Matty's POV

I had to leave the call , I want to spend as much time with George as I can but if he finds out what I did I know he'll just disappear forever and that can't happen. I wasn't planning on it to begin with I swear but I found it in my drawer when I got home I'd forgotten I'd got it from a guy at a party a few weeks back but didn't use it but I just saw it earlier and everything came flooding back after singing that song for George and I thought it would calm me down and it did but now I feel like death.

I hear my phone go off in my pocket, text alert, I'm sat on the bathroom floor again and just open it.

"Are you alright love x" , trust George to care and check up on me like that, he's so lovely what a gem he is. I don't know what to say though because I am alright my brain is empty but I also feel like I could just pass out any minute.

"Just feel a bit dizzy is all Georgie , just trying to settle down a bit , I might just need some sleep x", that might be okay, I can't have him worrying about me not when I'm under the influence because I will just say and that's not right. The light from my phone is the only thing lighting up the room as I didn't turn the light on but even this light is making me feel like I might throw up. So I put it on the floor face down and sit for a bit just drowning out everything around me. I contemplated laying down on the floor it's cool down there. It's weird you know this stuff makes my brain feel so empty and everything just feels light but I also feel like if I move everything I've drank or eaten today is going to come right back up not that it was much. Once I've contemplated life for a bit I get up and make my way back to the comfort of my bed. I'm going to call George back I think I need too I won't sleep if he's not there

"Can I call back now ?" , he texts back immediately

"Go ahead love x" with that I pick up my laptop and call him straight back and get comfy but being sure to be slow with it. He answers and he looks a little stressed

"You okay darlin ?"

"Yeh I'm alright love was just worried about you is all, I know you told me you were alright but I still worry about you", he's in his bed now too all wrapped up and I really hope he hasn't been crying that's what it looks like.

"I didn't upset you did I ?" Im searching his eyes to make it out better. I never meant for this to happen. This was the opposite of what I wanted.

"Nah todays just been weird like you said your tired , I probably am too, do you feel better"

"Not really but if I just lay down I'll be alright, do you wanna try sleep , I know I'll sleep better with your company", I'm still trying to pay full attention so I don't miss anything I can't have him upset, he's my light , I want to keep him that way.

" I'd love that", when he smiles at me his eyes light up and his face fills up blushing like I knew it would. God how did I find this actually Greek god, I can't be this lucky. "Good night love I'm right here if you need me you know don't feel bad if you need to wake me"

"Same to you , I'm always here darlin, sleep tight , sweet dreams", I watch him close his eyes and melt into the duvet, he's so beautiful, This would be something I'd have been up all night talking to Janey about this one guy that I'd found that took my breath away every time I saw them. She's the only one I'd told properly that I may like boys too , we'd have been up all night just talking. So I know she'd love to know she'd be watching down on me right now telling me to sort my shit out and learn to be open.

I take my phone out and text her , this is something I do when I know she'd want to know, knowing I could just speak my mind to her not that I'd get a reply but getting my words out it's like a little diary log.

"Hey JayJay it's been a while since I texted you last , I think the last one was when I'd started having panic attacks, they haven't gotten that much better but I've found someone to help me, he's wonderful if I do say so myself. He's got blonde hair just a little mess on top of his head. Dark eyes , you'd fuckin love, and Jesus Christ his voice is deep as fuck right. He helps me a lot , like I don't know why he wants too but I'm so grateful, I'm sure you and the guys would love him, he's like the missing link we were always looking for. Also I know what you'd say I need to sort my shit out and just cheer up but I'm trying honestly everything is just so hard right now, and don't even come at me okay I'm trying , I went to school ALL day today that's something I haven't done that in at least two weeks according to McDonald and Jamie, but I've done it today and that's all on George I wanna make him proud and happy. I think I might give it a go yanno. Take Shia LaBeoufs advice and just do it , I know you'll like that reference, Lou misses you too kids so confused ay but yeh I hope your doing okay up there lovey and having a party

I love you JayJay ❤️"

Hey guys it’s me ,

I hope everyone who has been reading Heart Out has been having a lovely time reading it and enjoys it, I’m really struggling with the next chapter it just doesn’t seem to be flowing , I know I send out a couple a week, but I’m sorry but I don’t think I’ll be getting one out this week. I’m so sorry if your waiting BUT what I can do for you while you wait is do some BLURBS OR IDEAS that you all may have , if you do have anything you’d like me to hash out or give blurbs for let me know and I’ll get them written for you.

IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU ARE ALL GIVING IT SO MUCH LOVE AND ITS SOOOO APPRECIATED ❤️❤️

Thank you again

Dylan 💥

I’m sorry but he’s so gorgeous, I actually adore him

Chapter 33

Mention : I don’t really think there’s much (mention of food issues , weed and slight smut but I’m not sure if anything else I can’t remember)

Word count : 3.8K

I really enjoyed writing this omg , I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did we’ve all been waiting for it

Matty's POV

Matty: George got off the train no hassle , we're going to have a smoke then make our way back to the car

Tim: that's alright son , take your time.

We're now sat in the smoking area , I'm sure George has his own smokes but as I'm taking mine out I offer him one from my carton , and offer him my lighter too. Again I'm sure he has his own but it's nice ain't it. He was shaking a little and I nudged him and gave him a knowing look.

"I'm nervous Matty, what if they don't like me?" , he brung the cigarette to his lips, inhaling a long drag and I watched his cheeks hollow out before he expelled the smoke. He then smiles at me and I tentatively take his hand in my mine again, hopefully not pushing any boundaries. His hand grows tighter around mine and he sits closer to me closing the mere centimetres that we're between us.

"Darlin, I'm sure everyones gunna love you" , I bring his hand up to my lips again and softly kiss his knuckles. "You're amazing , you're beautiful, you're funny , and you keep me sane man". I take another quick drag of my cigarette in unison with George, I can feel him looking at me "what's up darlin?"

"I don't want to be weird .....and you....you can say no....but can I kiss you?" , he looked like a deer in headlights as the words were slipping from his mouth and I couldn't help but smile at him and let out a little chuckle. "I mean ....I guess ...nevermi"

"Darlin , shush , yes you can, you can kiss me as much as you like" , with that being said I felt his hand leave mine and come up to my face as he pulled me into him softly and kissed me, he tasted like smoke and coffee and something that I feel like is just George you know. We stay like this for a couple minutes just separating to gain our breath back. "Your a good kisser", I can feel the blush on my cheeks radiating from me again and I chuckle.

"You are too" , the smile that was displayed on his face was most likely identical to mine , looking like love sick teenagers. I gave him another quick peck on the cheek then we both dropped out cigs, linked our hands and began to make our way back to the car, his grip on my hand got a little tighter as we reached the car park "Matty promise me it's gunna be okay"

"What's gunna be okay darlin ?"

"Me being there , I'm not gunna be in the way am I, I'm not gunna mess things up right?" , he pauses just before we properly reach the car and pulls me back a little the fear clear on his face.

"George I promise , everything will be amazing okay , I know it's easier to say then do but please stop worrying , I promise everything will be grand, just remember I'm always right there", I squeeze his hand sent a quick smile his way and slowly pull him to the car , my dad got out the driver seat and started greeting George "Hiya lad , how was your trip", I watched George shake my dads hand as I took his case and dropped it into the boot of the car

"It was alright thanks Mr Healy , wasn't too long" , as I leaned on the back of the car watching the interaction take place I couldn't help but think George looks so awkward trying to be formal with my dad it was kind of funny. " The train was delayed by like five minutes but it didn't really matter", my dad did eventually tell him that it was okay to just call him Tim, we all then just trundled into the car George and I in the back and my dad in the driver seat as we sped away.

"Hey Matty ?", George said as we'd been on the road for roughly five minutes.

"Yeh?"

"How long roughly till we get to yours?"

"25 minutes depending on the traffic , why ?, what's up?" , we'd both just been taking pictures of each other you know being cheesy and the smile on our faces hadn't left since we saw each other.

"Kinda really have to pee, but it's fine"

"Why didn't you go in the station , or on the train ,you melon?", I couldn't help the smirk on my face he really is a numpty.

"We'll you know public transport don't fancy that really , just can never trust those transport toilets" , he was laughing to himself as he said it "and well at the station I was a little preoccupied was I not ?"

"Yeh we were a little preoccupied BUT you have a pretty mouth there , that makes very good sounds you could have said" , I couldn't help staring at his lips while saying that they really are so pretty.

"Nah I was too busy , it's alright though", our hands met in the middle console of the car, " Is Lou excited ?"

"Aww man , he's actually buzzing , been asking all day, he was supposed to come with us but he fell asleep, he's expecting you to play with him when we get back so be prepared for that" , his grip on my hand got tighter as he smiled back at me .

"You know I'll play with him anytime he wants, but I wanna spend as much time as I can with you, what days are your Exams on?", I missed what he'd said it took me a second to process the words because I couldn't help but just get lost in his eyes, so pretty , deep brown , like chocolate cake. When I noticed him just staring at me with such a wacky smile on his face , I snapped out of my haze.

"Sorry ...uh I think... Wednesday morning ....Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon aswell ....but there only a few hours each" , my cheeks where burning again because I was caught just staring at him again "sorry"

"Why you sorry love, you've got to do them and your going to do amazingly and you've got me , I can help you study, if you need me too" , he leans over and kisses my cheek , while whispering if my ear "obviously if there's time after all the other studying I'm going to be doing"

"George", I track my eyes from his face to my dad as if to say shush my dad can here you. "Not the place", I was still smiling either way.

"So....does it really matter Im sure he knows anyways", he adjusts himself again in the seat once pulling away from me.

"You doing alright there ?", I smirk up at him after I compose myself

"Yeh all good", he pulls the camera up on his phone and asks me to get in shot with him and we take a picture with us both in it , first one of many in the week to come. "See you're gorgeous Matty"

"No , I think your possibly looking at yourself there darlin" ,

After another five minutes , my dad pulls up outside the house and I tell George where here , I also tell him that the door should be open so just make his way upstairs I'll get his bags in

"My rooms upstairs second door on the left and I've got the en-suite so just go ahead"

"Thank fuck", he jumps out of his side and make his way in as I wander off to the boot pulling his suitcase out as I watch him run inside, I'm not to far behind him after thanking my dad for driving us and then also make my way upstairs I spot George standing at my door with it wide open and he looks a little pale

"The toilets just there", I point to the other door at the corner off my room , but I see him just shake his head as I step into my room and pull his suitcase onto my bed "George what's up "

"What is that" , I follow his line of sight over to where he's looking and I then realise he looking at my snake enclosure

"It's okay George shes just my snake" , I leap up from my bed and walk over to the enclosure and wait for her to slither up my arm and tentatively walk over to George "Don't be scared , she won't hurt you, I promise, come say Hi"

He doesn't move an inch just frozen on the spot with his mouth agape, "uh , I don't think that'll be happening Matty , Snakes are scary as fuck man", He moves around the door and slips into the bathroom. "I'll be back in a second"

I put the snake back into the enclosure and flop down onto my bed while I wait for George to come back , which only take a minute or so , I hear the door click as it opens and George comes bouldering over and jumps onto the bed grappling me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Hi there love"

"Hiya darlin , you feel better now ?" , I roll us over and I'm straddling his hips as I play with his hair sighing as I do , twisting a few strand through my fingers .

"I'm alright love , but for the love of everything that is holy , please don't come anywhere near me with that snake , I know it's the most irrational thing ever but snakes are scary" , he looked genuinely scared when I saw him stood at the door so he's probably not kidding and I'm not going to push it, so I just smile at him nodding

"I won't don't worry handsome , if she scares you that much I'll just keep her in there" , he pulls me into him softly with one of his hands on my hip as the other travel to my back kissing me softly on the lips , something I could get used too. I place my hands on either side of his cheeks rubbing my thumbs softly as we get lost in each other.

We're lost in each other for what feel like five minutes , then we here a light tap on the door and it opens slowly " Maffu is Geor...." , Louis doesn't finish his sentence as he lays eyes in George and comes running over and jumps into the bed "Hiya Georgie"

"Hi lad" , George sits up properly and I climb off of him so Louis can give him a hug, "did you have a good nap, it looks like you did ay", he ruffles his hair a little trying to flatten it , I watch on with amazement as I watch my two favourite boys get on.

"It was good but I'm awake now so I can play, you can play right ?", I do want us to hang out all together but I also do just want to nap next to George for a while because 1 hour of sleep in like the last day and a half is starting to get to me.

"Hey kiddo , do you think it would be okay if we played after dinner , because we're a little tired and we're going to have a little nap"

"Aww but you said we could play when George comes" he turns around on George's knee to look at me

"I know kiddo , I'm sorry , it shouldn't be too long, just after dinner"

"Pinky promise!" , we link our pinkies together as way of a promise because I can't even break a promise and Louis knows this, he then hugs George one last time and slides from the bed, running out of the room again. George looks at me with those damn pretty eyes of him "you tired babe ?"

"Little bit yeh"

He sticks his arms out and makes grabby hands at me as he lays back down again , I lay down next to him resting my head on he's chest and he wrap his arms around me "get some sleep yeh , you've gotta be shattered you didn't sleep last night"

"Can you play with my hair , it'll help"

"You know I will handsome",  his hands star slowly running through my hair as I hold him tightly feeling my eyes drops "sleep tight handsome" , before I drift off I feel George plant a kiss on my head.

————————————xx——————————————

George's POV

While Matty slept I decided to post the photo of us that I'd taken onto my story captioning it "I'm in Manchester for the week , seeing this cutie" , then decide to text Adam for a bit while Matty sleeps

George : alright Hann , I made it okay

Adam: that's great lad , how is it

George : he's actually so cute Ad like seriously , and from what I've seen his dad seems chill , his little brother is just as excited to see me , I think it's going to be great

Adam: that's amazin, so I know you've only been there like an hour or so but anything fun to tell me yet

George : Jesus Hann , we just kissed that's all but uh yeh I think I might actually wanna be with him yanno , like I knew that anyway , but he's so pretty Hann

Adam: so when can I meet him , to make sure he's right for my best mate

George : maybe next time ??

Adam: have you guys made any plans for the week or just winging it ??

George : I don't actually know yet , I know I'll be going to see his mates Ross and Jamie at some point I don't know anything else , we didn't really plan anything , or if he has , he ain't said .

Adam: we'll I'll leave you too it , but keep me updated yeh , and you know I'm here if things get weird or whatever

George: thanks lad , I'll talk to you later.

I drop my phone back onto the bed , slip from Matty's grasp making my way to the suitcase and pull out a present I had gotten for him, place it on the bottom of the bed. The wrapping paper is black and have geometric white boxes all over it. I pull a hoodie on over my shirt and slip into some joggers. Once I'm changed I take a quick look around his room , my eyes instantly falling on his drum kit a silver "Yamaha Rydeen" set in the corner of his room , where he had a few acoustic guitars set up on the stands around it and two Electronic Guitars up on the racks on the wall , one in bubblegum pink and the other Race-car red as well as a banjo on his dresser, every single part of his room was covered in band posters , movie posters scattered all over the place. I take a seat on the small drumming stool behind the kit at first I feel like a giant on the chair my knees basically nearly touching my chest so I adjust it , it squeaks loudly it makes me cringe as I watch Matty slightly stir in his sleep but he doesn't wake which is okay. I search for some drum sticks the brush type so that it's not to loud. He also had the covers on them. I just spend some time mucking about on them , not using the kick drum felt forgein while still using the snares but I don't want to wake him.

I spend about an hour just messing about on the drums and a while on the banjo which in turn accidentally wake Matty "Georgie , what are you doing?", his voice sound gravelly and he's rubbing his eyes and he sits up. So pretty

"Sorry did I wake you?" , I place the sticks back were I found them and make my way back over to Matty "I'm sorry if I did handsome"

"Nah you didn't wake me , I just don't sleep for very long you know", he stretches his arms out and inviting me in for a hug so I just pull him into a tight hug.

"Did you sleep okay?" , I pull the ringlets of his hair on the nape of his neck and let it spring back into place "you're so cute with that just woken up face you know?"

He buries his fave in my chest as he shakes his head a little , his hair falling over his eyes "what we're you doing ?"

"Just checking out your instruments , you've got some pretty cool gear there", I pointed up to the pink guitar in the wall that I'd been pulled to a few times since noticing it but didn't move it because I don't want to accidentally break it. "That one's pretty cool , when did you get that".

"The pink one ?, I got that myself a few months ago, I saw in a music shop in town and I thought it was really awesome, and the guy in the shop let me play it for a while and it just sounded amazing" , he took a hold of my hand that was pointing at the guitar and pulled it to his lips and kissed my knuckles, "that fight you had must have been a really hard one darling , your hands are still bruised from it" , he kisses each knuckle individually "are ....you...okay ....what ....about ....the others kid" each word punctuated with a kiss.

The blush that had been on my face continued to burn my cheeks " I broke his nose, I always forget I'm stronger than I feel sometimes , but that lad deserved it like, I don't know what he expected" , I turn to Matty with my free hand on his jaw and kiss his lips. "I'm fine though and I'm sure he is too" , We break from the kiss and I see the present on the bed "Oh I got you a present" , I break away from his hold so I can reach for it, I place it in his lap and we both sit cross legged across from each other and our knees press together "there only little but I thought you'd like them".

He marvelled at the wrapping paper for a second before tearing into it, "You didn't have to you know?", the first thing he pulled out was a grey "Santa Cruz" hoodie and his eyes lite up when he pulled it out "Man this is so cool , and Jesus it's soft" , he immediately pulled it over his head and I may have picked a size to big because he was drowning in it but by Christ does he looks cute, the next thing where the two hats I'd picked, I had bought one and my mum had made the other , a grey and greeen "Land Rover" hat but the words had been rearranged and some missing so it looked like it said "Lover" and the other was a little white and black rabbit hat. "George this is so cute , who made this", he pulled the bunny hat (the sincerity hat) on slightly squint on his head, his curls where still noticeable under it.

"My mum makes them, my little sister wanted one , but I also thought it would be something you might like so I asked her to make you one", Matty surges forward throwing his arms around me as we fall back against the bed mumbling “Thank you” over and over into the crook of my neck.

“It’s okay love honestly , I’m glad you like them”

“I love them George seriously, wait hold on” , he gets up quickly and makes his way over to his wardrobe and pulls out a few things , “I didn’t get you anything but I did say you could have a few of my hoodie if you like so uh yeh , here picks the ones you like” , there was the fluffy cardigan that he always wears and I know there’s a story behind that and he’ll struggle to part with that , along with a red , yellow and red striped sweater , a few band hoodies and a worn blue Nike hoodie that looks like it would also drown him out, I’m immediately drawn the the Nike one since it looks to be quite worn meaning he wears it a lot so I reach out to grab it but I’m still looking at the fluffy cardigan. “ You can have the cardigan you know darling if you would really like it , as well as the hoodie , I don’t mind”

“The cardigan is special to you , I know you and I see how you are with it” , I look up at him stood at the end of the bed and his hoodie sleeves are resting over his hands and one hand is in his mouth as he’s biting on his nails. Something he does when he’s nervous.

“It was Janey’s , I stole it from her once upon a time I said I’d give it back and just never did, but eventually even she agreed I suited better , but I REALLY want to give it to you , so you can feel just as good as I do when I wear it , feel the security I guess” , he climbed back onto the bed and passed it to me “like seriously , It’s okay”

“I promise I’ll look after it” , I gently pull him back onto my lap , kiss his face, each cheek and then his lips. “I promise to look after you too handsome”

Matty’s head was swiftly back in the crook of my neck, his hair tickling my face and I feel his teeth graze my neck sending a shiver down my spine “Is this okay George” , I nod and slide my hand up to tangle in his hair to keep him there and he begins to nibble and suck into the sweet spot on my neck. I pull his hair lightly so I don’t hurt him just to pull him off me.

“Don’t start something if we can’t start something love”

“Who says we can’t , I can lock the door”

“Is that really the first impression , we want to give your parents IVE only been max four hours love” , my hand in his hair is still playing with his girls and he’s leaning into and his eyes and falling closed again.

“It’s okay , honestly, we don’t have to though if you don’t want to obviously”, I could feel myself growing hard with him on my lap and I could see it in his eyes he wanted too.

“We don’t have to go all the way right now , right ?”

“No darlin, what did you have in mind instead”, I pretend to think for a while because really I know exactly what I’d like but the back and forth is very fun too.

My hand wanders under the hoodie he’s wearing and I slightly pull in the waist band of his jeans to bring him even closer to me “head sounds good to me”

“George you’re as good as me darlin”

🖊️ 🎤 for the thingy <3

My favourite lyric is “if I live past 72 , I hope I’m half as cool as you” because I relate to that lyric and “Nana” in general so much but it’s more my parents it makes me think about. And wanna be as cool as my dad if I make it past 64 ❤️

My favourite live performance is , The latest trsmt performance of “Ballad”, I went to trsmt myself and to watch them replay that song when Matty is so much healthier and happier seems like such a grown up moment for them

GUYS “THE SOUND” PLAYING ON HEARTSTOPPER

IM DEADDDDDDDDDDD

🫦🫠😨

Stop doing all that thinking!

Subby!Matty x reader

Warnings: smut

Summary: Matty just needs to stop overthinking

Disclaimer: this is literally the first fic I’ve ever written and put out. English is my second language and this is not proofread so be nice. Constructive criticism and comments are welcome.

The hotel room door clicks shut behind the two of you and Matty let’s out a sigh. It’s been a rough day. Week. Month maybe. Things going wrong, disagreements, compromises. Matty working tirelessly on the new show, early mornings, late nights. It’s a lot to do, a lot to think about, a lot of decisions to make. His mind constantly trying to hold every thought, very idea in place to make the show even better, sometimes forgetting to be friendly in the process, constantly apologising when he catches up with his words. He‘s stressed. In a good way maybe? He‘s in his element when he‘s busy but it’s taking a toll. On your relationship for example. It’s been a while since it’s just been the two of you alone in a room together not too tired to just mumble good night and fall asleep.

He takes off his jacket and plops down on the edge of the bed. He lets out a long breath of air and it’s almost like he is deflating.

He can be himself around you. No jokes or deflection needed. You love every side of him, even the ugly ones. He knows he can cry, be soft and weak around you and it won’t scare you away. It’s been a process getting there through insecurities and social constructs, until one day after one of the „but don’t you find it unattractive when I…“-conversations you practically shouted „are you going to let me love you unconditionally or are you going to keep being a little bitch about it?!“. You both had to laugh at that and you knew: No hiding emotions from each other.

You step between his knees and he looks up at you. God, he’s gorgeous. You run your hand through his locks as his chin rests on your belly and his arms are coming up to hug you. You stay there for a little while, feeling him slightly relax under your touch.

„It’s been a day, huh?“

He closes his eyes and sighs again. “Yeah”.

“Tell me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”, you ask. You adore him. You want to be close to him at all times. Seeing him enjoying your presence just as much does things to you.

“A lot. Too much maybe”, he’s tired, you can tell. You don’t press for details.

“Want me to make you feel better, pretty boy?” You say softly and his eyes shoot up at you. You don’t know where that nickname came from but he seems to enjoy it so you don’t overthink it.

“Please” he whispers softly and your mind almost goes completely blank. He’s already begging. Fuck.

You lean down and kiss him. He’s kissing you back hungrily. You know his beautiful, creative mind can be a burden sometimes and right now he’s desperate to not think, just feel. He wants to be told what to do, not make any more decisions, and you’re more than happy to oblige. You break the kiss.

“Take off that shirt for me”

He gets to work on the buttons of his shirt, all while your hands are not leaving his curls, his gorgeous soft curls. Once the shirt is off you lightly push his shoulders and he lies down on the bed. You lean down, unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. His length he has tucked away in his slacks is already rock hard, a realisation that never fails to make you hornier than you already are. You hook your fingers under the elastic of his boxer shorts and pull the fabric down. Matty helps you by arching his back, lifting his pelvis so you can rid him of the clothes. His cock springs free and your mouth starts watering.

“Fuck, that beautiful cock, you’re so pretty, darling” you tell him and he blushes. His hands lift up to cover his face and you hear him letting out a little giggle.

“What? You are. Just look at you all naked and hard for me”

“Shit, you can’t call me “pretty” and “beautiful” like that!”

“Why not? Just stating facts” you grin.

“It makes me…” he trails off

“Shhh, just enjoy it!” This is fun. It’s never not going to be fun to see him like that. “Scootch up a litte for me, pretty boy!” You instruct and find a place between his legs when he’s settled again. You bend down and lick a stripe up his cock and Matty lets out an obscene moan.

“That’s right, let me hear you darling” you don’t want him to hold back. Hearing him is one of your biggest turn ons and he knows it.

You circle the head of his cock with your tongue, giving extra attention to the little band of skin connecting the head to the shaft.

Matty let’s out a long and soft “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck”

You take the whole head into your mouth, sucking the air out of your mouth to create some under pressure. The moans you hear coming from Matty are all the encouragement you need to keep going. You take as much of his length into your mouth as you comfortably can and start bobbing your head.

You feel great and powerful but you know that at this point Matty is probably in his head again, debating whether or not you’re enjoying this or not. You snake your right hand up to his nipple and pinch as hard as you can. He lets out a surprised noise, his head shooting up to see you obviously enjoying yourself. Another “fuuuuuuck” rips from him as his head hits the blanket again.

“I want to… baby… I…please” he’s trying but it’s too much for him to form coherent sentences. The fact you’ve got him this disheveled is almost enough to make you cum right then and there.

With a sloppy sound you release his cock which slaps back to mattys lower abdomen.

“Use your words, pretty boy! You want to what…?”

“Taste…” he swallows “I want to taste you… please?”

It’s almost too much, the way he sounds, begging almost desperate.

“Fuck! I love it when you ask nicely, darling!” You whisper. You make your way up his body, leaving kisses along the way until your knees are at either side of his head, your cunt that had been left neglected until now right above his face. You slide your knees apart, slowly lowering your core to his mouth. The second he’s in reach, Matty sucks your clit into his mouth and it’s divine.

“Fuck! Yes, baby! So good” you try and sound controlled but you’re anything but.

Matty eats your pussy like a starved man. He knows what you like and he’s putting that knowledge to good use.

“Yes, baby, fuuuck. You’re doing so good! So good baby, gonna make me cum”

Matty is committed now, there’s no stopping until you come on his tongue and you both know it. He sucks and licks and fucks you with his tongue. He drags his fingernails lightly across your ass cheeks and then hold on to your thighs as if to lock you into place above him.

“Fuck, baby. Yes! Keep going! So good for me!” you don’t really know what you’re saying and you don’t really care as you come on mattys face with a scream. You ride out the aftershocks of your orgasm on his face. Your thighs shake but you make your way down Matty’s body, littering his face and body with little praises of “so good for me” and “your doing so well” and “my pretty boy”. Once you’re face to face again you can’t help but kiss him passionately. Some primal part of your brain wants to taste yourself on his tongue and you don’t have it in yourself to stop. You moan into his mouth as you taste your juices on him. So. Fucking. Good.

You lower your pelvis so your labia comes to sit on the still rock hard cock against his lower abdomen. As you rock your hips a bit, you hear and feel Matty groan beneath you.

“Not much longer now, darling. You’re going to be inside me and I’m going to make you cum. It’s alright” you coo but Matty is getting desperate. You draw it out a bit longer just to rile him up a bit more. “Shh baby it’s alright, I’m gonna make you feel good” you’re having too much fun here. Oh well.

You lift your hips, take his rock hard, already leaking cock into your hand, place the tip at your entrance and lower your hips again. Slowly. So deliciously slow that you can register every ridge and every vein entering you. When just the tip is inside, you stop. Matty lets out a desperate whine.

“please! Please darling. Need to feel you, please. Oh shit”

You lower your hips a bit more. You feel the delicious stretch like you always do. He’s big. Perfectly so.

“Yes! Yes!! Please more!”

You take him all the way inside. Your cunt pulsing at the familiar stretch.

“Fuck! Yes!” He moans.

You slowly start raising and lowering your hips, drawing a bunch of desperate moans from Matty.

“You’re doing so well, pretty boy. My beautiful darling all worked up and horny for me. Stretching me soooo goood”

As you feel he might be close, you raise your hips, only letting the tip stay in your pussy, completely stilling your motions. At first Matty doesn’t know what’s going on. But then he realises you just want to rile him up a bit more.

“Wha…? No! Fuck! Please! Please fuck me!” He chokes out desperately and you’re more than happy to oblige.

You slam your hips down to his, taking him inside you fully. Your pace is quicker now. You fuck the desperate man beneath you as fast and hard as you can. The moans he let out are becoming more and more desperate, as are yours. Your left hand is coming up to Matty’s throat. He nods and you squeeze. His eyes glaze over and he comes with such a desperate whine and an outstretched “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck”. The sound is enough to make you orgasm as well. With his name on your lips and his cock still deep inside you, you collapse on Matty’s chest as your body goes through the aftershocks.

You hold each other tight, grounding each other.

“Fuck. I fucking love you” he says still holding you tight.

“I love you too, pretty boy” you giggle. You want to stay like this forever. Just the two of you, impossibly close.