Dick, To The Titans: OK This Is My Little Brother, Everyone Has To Be So Nice To Him!

Damian, who grew up with advanced tutors in every subject at the loa, would NOT be chill with having to denigrate himself towards putting up with fucking. Gotham level teachers. so like what if after finding out one of his previous tutors that 1) Damian actually considered acceptable, 2) is skilled in multiple subjects, and 3) is Talia approved to the point of adoption, is actually in Gotham working as the Red Hood, Damian just stops attending the school Bruce signed him up for.

he’s smart about it; gets dropped off and picked up outside the entrance every day, lets Alfred/Dick/Tim/Bruce see him enter and exit the building, acts like he’s adjusting really well to the civilian school system, and yet on gods green earth that boy has not attended a single fucking class in five months. three minutes into first period he’s out the window and getting a ride to Jason’s safe house to continue learning at a pace that he actually benefits from.

i feel like having helped raise/teach the kid for a couple years in the league and having worked with/been on sort of amicable terms with a few other of Damian’s tutors (the ones that didn’t get killed anyway), Jason would be familiar enough with Damian and his little ways and habits that he would know that the kid would 100% benefit more from home schooling that whatever bullshit public school Bruce put him in. Damian’s very self motivated so he knows there won’t be an issue in slacking off if he allows Damian to ditch school and sort of rule his own schooling from Jason’s apartment. he’ll do his own advanced mathematics, history, science, whatever the fuck he feels the need to brush up on during that day. English and most physical training Jason does take control of, but that was what they did in the league anyway so that’s normal to them; they’re just settling back into what for them is a normal routine.

the only thing Damian doesn’t like about ditching Gotham Prep and going to Jason’s for school is that Jason forces him to join social groups at least twice a week, whether it be a reading group at the library, a painting club, volunteering at a hospital or animal shelter, just so that he can still learn to interact with civilians. still, he likes that the activities are always tailored to what Jason knows he enjoys and it is preferable to being in a school for five days a week, so he lets it slide. he even gets a bit more vigilante training bcs occasionally he gets to tag along with Red Hood during the rare day mission, so long as his identity is hidden. Jason always drops him back off at the school fifteen minutes before 3 so that Damian can sneak in and walk out the front doors when the bells go, just a normal school student like everyone else.

he keeps stealing letters addressed to bruce and intercepting phone messages regarding his absence, and eventually he fakes emails from Bruce that withdraw Damian from the school as a whole. Jason’s honestly really impressed that nobody’s noticed but the longer it goes the funnier it gets so he keeps helping out. it gets to the point where it’s been like a year and he’s convinced Damian to actually test out of high school early and start attending college courses part time, so he’s literally spending his days going to Gotham Prep five minutes after classes start, picking up his little brother, secretly driving him to the college that he’s attending under the radar, and then driving him BACK to Gotham Prep before school ends so that nobody knows where he’s been.

even funnier is that Damian ends up convincing Jason to start doing a lit course two days a week at the same college. so at this point Damian is not only lying his ass off about his own education, but he’s doing it by going to college with his brother who everybody else in the family still thinks is fucking dead.

eventually Dick reminds Bruce that Damian’s class should be doing an award ceremony for moving up a year, and they all decide to go to surprise Damian with their support. they go in and Damian isn’t a part of the group of kids graduating and they’re just like ‘wait what’

one of the kids sees them and is like ‘hey aren’t you the Waynes?’ and when they’re like yeah the kid goes ‘haha cool, you know my older sister goes to college with Damian and his step-brother, it’s nice that they still get to see each other often after Damian had to move from their mom to you guys.’ and the entire family bluescreens for about four different reasons.

they eventually show up at the college and see Damian and Jason on the grass outside getting into a rapidly spiralling argument about whether or not two of the professors there are secretly having an affair and the whole thing unravels.

absolute territory

So my sister is on vacation and has sent me a photo of the store she was buying clothes in.

I'm going to lose it.

I think it'd be funny if Damian kept up his formal speech patterns for the sole purpose of appearance. Originally, he would've learned to speak that way in the League, but I feel like Jason's informality and unseriousness would rub off on him eventually.

Alfred is gone for the week and Bruce is cooking for the bats

Bruce: "Alright guys, it's a little burnt, but it still might be good."

Tim, squinting his eyes at the plate: "B, it looks radioactive.."

Damian: "Father, I will not be consuming this horrible dish. It seems itself to be inedible, and I will not be poisoned by your lack of skill in the food department."

Later

Damian, on the phone with Jason: "It looked like shit! He served us all mystery meat, Todd. Bring me some decent food right now or I'm killing myself."

Jason: "Jeez, kid, take a chill pill or something. I'm on my way."

Damian: "There is no pill chill enough for me to take, Todd! I can't keep starving myself whenever Dad is put in charge. He's going to kill us all on accident!"

Severus Snape is wonderful and beautifully written character when you don’t have some irritating voices shouting in your ear about how he’s a bad person. (He isn’t. He’s morally grey)

Aromantic Spectrum Awareness Week is on again, so time for me to be annoying about wording again

There is more than one way to eat an m&m

Me personally when I eat M&Ms, I enjoy crushing it ever so slightly with my teeth, as to get cracks along the shells.

Once the cracks are there, I will slowly remove the shell of the M&M, consuming it as I continue shelling it with my fingers.

Once it has been de-skinned, I will eat the organs of the M&M, enjoying the savoury taste of the chocolate. It will already have been warmed by my body heat, so the chocolate will have stained my fingers. That is alright though, it was never going to be a clean process in the first place.

I will proceed to do this with every M&M until I tire of the process, and shelve the rest of the box away in the refrigerator.

So how do y'all eat your M&M's?

"English isn't my-"

Hush now my friend, and let me read the absolute beauty of a fic that you have bestowed this world and humiliated the first English speakers with

this is my first time posting here, I don't have any idea how Tumblr works.

me n the homies robbing some back alley convenience store for goods