Im,,so Normal About This

Vessel of the Red Crown

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I've been feeling sleepy lately, so I mostly just sketch or don't draw at all. This was for those who were wondering why there haven't been any posts from me lately.

This particular art was drawn for study purposes. It was beneficial, I began to understand how to draw shade better.

So the music loving tribe thing, made more lore for it:

When they were young, the lamb’s tribe had been moving around all across the old faith lands to escape from the slaughter. From rocky hills to caves to forests, until lastly near the sea.

They settled in a hill near the sea where it’s was far enough from the main land, the new land had vast meadows and a large enough shore to build bonfires.

The flock couldn’t arrange celebrations while they were hiding in forests (fearing it’s might draw attention to them) so in there they went wild with them ;new instruments, new dances , new decorations made with the shiny shells in the shoreline , new cuisines and a new common song.

Sang by honey like voices and preformed by masterful musicians, this melody became the symbol of their new home and a reminder of hope for coming generations.

Lamb would always sing it in their free time ; sitting by the sea collecting exotic rocks & colorful shells. They sang it, hummed it , played it on the conch and choreographed a personal dance for it. It almost became a prayer for them.

But after their tribe’s slaughter, that warm melody became a cold reminder of their home and a symbol of lost hope. Little by little they started to hum it less, they stopped singing it, and then they have forgotten it completely centuries later.

Parvena: Bishop of Peace🦋🧡

Interesting facts:

- Parvena is the opposite of Shamura.

- Parvana is a "monarch butterfly".

- Parvena is the second most senior bishop (she is older than the Bishop of Fertility, but younger than the Bishop of Order).

- The cult of Parvena is located on the treetops in the "Red Forest", because the followers of her cult think there are a lot of dangers and enemies on earth, so the cult is located in trees and hidden by dense foliage.

- Parvena, despite her status as an "Elder Sister" and "Second Bishop," is the calmest and most balanced of all, she always tries to avoid conflicts and quarrels in her cult and between her brothers and sisters, trying to get rid of them through words or compromises. Because of this, Parvena's brothers and sisters treat her with kindness and affection.

- Parvena loves her older brother like a Ptah, because he is always ready to protect his older sister and worries about her life.

SAME SAME SAME

HELLOOOO ??? THESE ARE SOO PRETTY??

The Bishops

I MISSED THE BABY SHOWER NOOOOOOO

Welcome to Lamb's baby shower, this is an event that takes place before Lari's birth, Lamb and Narinder's first born!

During this event I'll open the Cheeps ask box for 3 days, it's up to you to send fun gifts for the Lamb which I'll be replying to with their reaction and cute drawings!

Anon will be on if you're shy as well

"How do I send my gift?"

Simple! just send in an ask like "I gift the Lamb a lifetime supply of diapers" or "Congratulations leader! Here's my gift of a delicious snail pie!", the gift can be absolutely anything! You can roleplay as a follower, your own OC, or just say a random gift, Images are also permitted but not necessary, Keep in mind I'll be drawing out the asks.

"Are there rules?"

There are only two rules for this event: To keep things SFW, and to not name Lari. We may know about all the cheeps right now, but this is set before Lari even had her name decided, so to keep things making some sense, just call her "the baby" :3

You are allowed to send more than one ask!

Event timeline

The askbox will be open from the moment this post is sent, it'll remain open for 2 more days, today counting as the first, and will close December 4th around 6 PM GMT -3, I will start posting the reactions to the gifts on Dec. 5th and by the 9th I should be done posting them all

I'll try to get to all asks but it'll depend on how many I can physically complete, it depends on how many asks I get

I've been planning this little event for a month now, so do have fun with your asks <3

man i need to draw a piece to thissss

Have you ever seen a shooting star?

Have you ever seen a shooting star?

So bright its kin could not abide

And so let fly,

this wondrous being, their potential made farce,

Straight into the dark of the night?

Have you ever seen a shooting star?

So graceful in its fall and beautiful in betrayal.

Yet beyond it all, despite the screams of its' flight,

No choice for it shall avail,

It's pained existence made harsh.

Have you ever seen a star once shot,

Now left bleeding on its own?

To have once been so bright

But now cast aside, left alone

Burnt hot,

By those from whom they once took delight.

None have ever seen a star once shot,

But one day maybe they might,

When they remove our heads,

And unite us with death,

So goes the last's breath

5 becomes 4,

3,

2,

1.

ik it's been a while since this been posted, but just wanted to say this comic is my canon for Ratoo's past. Can't stop coming back to it.

and i found a song that always reminds me of this.

Some Ratau doodles following up on my practice with COTL characters + one Ratoo cuz I needed to know how I wanted to differ them x'D

ALSO AN...................ACCIDENTAL COmic heavily based on @/brightgoat's interpretation of the brothers cuz I used their art as inspo for how I understand these characters + Ratoo's lover for the sake of angst

TW for blood! Enjoy :)

Don't mind me cotl fandom , just couldn't keep this post in the liked section only

Stolas just standing there and letting blitz hug him in the end is all good, right? He is just sad because of octavia and accepting that blitz is there with him right?? It's not that he regrets chosing him, right??? (I just need affirmation)

You know what? I've found myself needing reassurance about this too. So let's take a moment to look at the facts together, shall we?

(This reply turned out way longer than I expected it to 😅 sorry!)

Fact #1 - Stolas is still coming to terms with the consequences of his actions. He spends the whole episode finding out just how much his life has changed. Learning how to navigate groceries, and laundry, and meals, and having a job, and worrying about money.

Mid-episode, he has a breakdown where he truly questions if everything he gave up was worth it just for a fantasy. At this point in the episode, he still hasn't realised how much he means to Blitz. As far as he's concerned, he did all of this for someone who doesn't reciprocate his feelings. But by the end of the episode, though, his feelings have settled enough to understand and express what he has known to be true all along: that saving Blitz was the right thing to do.

What Stolas regrets isn't saving Blitz's life, or even loving Blitz in the first place.

What he regrets are the choices he made that led them to this. He feels guilty for selfishly (or, rather, naively) playing out his fantasies. He's the one who established the deal, who let Blitz illegally use the book for many months, who wasn't always sensible about how he expressed his love for Blitz publicly and despite being married, and who allowed himself to ignore the reality of his situation so he could live in his own, personal romcom—all of which ultimately led to the events of Mastermind and the loss of Via.

And all the guilt and regret he's grappling with (however justified it might be) is exacerbated by fact #2, which is:

Fact #2 - Stolas is off his medication. He's been off it for a month now. Symptoms of depression (especially untreated depression) include mood swings, irritability, self-hatred and low self-esteem, passive/active suicidal ideation, pessimism and hopelessness about the future, catastrophising, black-and-white thinking, and anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure and to find joy in things—and people—who used to bring you it). All symptoms Stolas exhibits throughout this episode.

So, even if he shows a lack of emotion toward Blitz at times, or irritation to seemingly minor things like low doors or "secretating" or Karen's behaviour, even if he acts regretful and angry and desolate... a lot of these emotions and behaviours are a result of his depression, and not of actually hating the life he chose.

Fact #3 - Stolas loves Blitz. He always has, and always will. I could point at a thousand different moments in the show when Stolas' love for Blitz has transpired, but I'm going to leave it at his line from Mastermind: "I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side."

Even after everything they've gone through, even now that he's taken Blitz off his pedestal and can acknowledge that Blitz can be a fucking idiot... Stolas simply does not want to live a life without Blitz. It has always been Blitz. It will always be Blitz.

Stolas loves Blitz.

Fact #4 - Stolas kissed Blitz. Before he truly hits rock bottom as a result of Octavia cutting him out, Stolas is so ecstatic that Blitz cares, that Blitz was willing to go to such lengths to save his life, that he can't hold back the need to kiss Blitz mid-air. Suddenly, none of his earlier frustration matters. Nothing matters expect for how elated he is that Blitz loves him back. So he smiles and he pulls Blitz into a kiss because he can't bear not to kiss Blitz for a moment longer.

Look at this man. Look at how happy he is. Because it's always been Blitz, and maybe it was a fantasy for a long time, but it doesn't have to be anymore. Maybe this can be real now. He's so happy he (and I) could cry.

Fact #5 - Stolas didn't deny loving Blitz. When Via said "You don't love me, you love him," the script very purposefully did not have Stolas go "no, no, Via, that's not true—" or say anything else that might make Blitz doubt, even for a moment, that Stolas loves him. Because that much is true. He does love Blitz. He just also loves Via. Which brings me to:

Fact #6 - Blitz knows Stolas loves him. At no point throughout the episode does Blitz doubt, even for a second, that Stolas loves him. And we know this because Blitz's walls remain down at all times. If Blitz doubted he was loved, if he had even the slightest of reservations, those walls would come crawling back up whether he wanted them to or not. It's what he's been trained and conditioned to do—it's how he's kept his heart safe ever since the accident.

But now, he knows his heart is safe with Stolas. He believes it enough to not depend on his walls to feel at ease. He believes it enough to let himself take care of Stolas and be soft with Stolas without the slightest trace of hesitation.

Look at Blitz's face. This is the face of a man who knows that even if Stolas isn't okay right now, things will get better. And when they do, they'll both still be in love with each other. This is the face of a man who can't wait for something beautiful to flourish between them, but who is in no rush to get there. He knows the road ahead is hard and painful, but he has faith in Stolas. In both of them.

Fact #6 - Stolas was happy to share a private, romantic dance with Blitz. Despite everything going through his mind, he found comfort and happiness in dancing with Blitz; in getting to have this little moment with him.

He found relief in the fact that Blitz stayed with him this time, even after Stolas told him, once again, that he didn't have to stay.

His reaction to Blitz initiating a dance between them is genuine surprise, immediately followed by an enamoured little smile at the mere notion that he gets to have this, now.

And, as they dance, he keeps smiling and leaning into Blitz, going as far as to manage a deep, heartfelt laugh at Blitz's words. This, for an unmedicated, depressed person going through one of the worst days of his life, is huge in itself. It shows that, even in the worst of times, he finds undeniable comfort and happiness in Blitz.

And, after their dance, Stolas looks at Blitz with a sobriety and soft sort of realisation that shows he's finally coming to terms with the fact that this is real. After everything he's lost, after all the fantasies he hoped for for so long and believed he'd never have, he finally gets to have this.

Despite the pain he's going through, Stolas looks at Blitz and sees the man he loves.

Notice how Blitz's eyes trail down to Stolas' mouth. And Stolas realises. And doesn't move away. Waiting, expectantly, for Blitz's next move, fully expecting it to be a kiss.

But then Blitz hugs him instead, and Stolas doesn't hug back.

And it's not because he doesn't want to be hugged by Blitz. It's not because his feelings for Blitz have changed, or dimmed, or disappeared. It's not because he regrets loving Blitz, or saving him. It's not because he doesn't want to have a close, healthy, loving romantic relationship with Blitz.

It's because of facts #1 (he's grappling with so much guilt and coming to terms with the consequences of his actions) and #2 (he's experiencing symptoms of unmedicated depression). And, above all, it's because of fact #7, which is...

Fact #7 - Stolas doesn't know how to be loved. Stolas has never had support. He has never had a shoulder to cry on, or someone to hold him when he needed it. When he's feeling vulnerable and broken, he defaults to hugging himself as a way to self-soothe, because that's the only comfort he's ever known.

And because he's never known comfort from others—because it was never allowed or safe for him to need or ask for comfort from others—all Stolas knows to do with his vulnerability is hide it. So much so that, the two times we see him begin to break down in front of Blitz, he either portals Blitz away or masks his tears and pain immediately. Even as he drunkenly rambles about wanting to be held, he still makes sure not to appear like he actually needs a hug.

So when he finds himself being held by Blitz in a warm, comforting hug, Stolas doesn't know how to respond. Because he's never had this. He's never had an opportunity to learn how to exist in someone's comforting embrace, how to interact with this kind of physical contact. He still has to learn how to feel safe between arms that aren't his own.

Simply put, Stolas still doesn't know how to hold Blitz back.

That doesn't mean Stolas doesn't want or need physical comfort. He needs it desperately—everyone does. But wanting something and knowing how to actually have it are two very different things, and Blitz knows that better than anyone, because he's wanted Stolas for a very long time, but didn't, until very recently, know how to feel safe accepting Stolas' love.

And that's why Blitz is completely understanding of the fact that all Stolas can do, all Stolas has the ability to do, is stand there and let himself be held, and let his emotions go through him. In, and out, with every breath, with every second. And get slowly acquainted with what being comforted by the person he loves feels like.

Thirty-something years of trauma can't be undone in a single hug, or a single conversation, and it's going to take time for Stolas to learn how to be present while in Blitz's arms, and how to return that emotional closeness.

But Blitz has faith in him. Blitz is willing to be patient and soft with him while he gets better. Blitz is ready to meet Stolas where he's at, because he knows, beyond a trace of doubt, that they love one another, and they're going to be okay. Even if Stolas doesn't know it yet—even if we, the audience don't know it yet—Blitz knows.

And that's just going to have to be enough for now.

And because this post got completely away from me, I shall conclude by quoting their song, because it summarises their story better than I ever could:

Truer love is hard to find. ❤️

this is so cool???

The Collector...