The Joke Started With: “Nightcrawler, What Do Your Elf Eyes See?” And Just Sorta Got Away From Me

The antisocial kid who's done listening to the kids at his table talk trash

Who is this???

Wrong answers only

Savage Wolverine #13 - “Come Conquer the Beast II” (2013)

written by Phil Jimenez & Scott Lope art by Phil Jimenez, Tom Palmer, Sandu Florea, Pat Olliffe, Dan Green & Rachelle Rosenberg

X-Men: Evolution tho

I feel like people are forgetting how great this show is so I want to remind you all that:

Mystique was literally every new character and every other villain

I’m not kidding. New student? Mystique.The principal? Mystique. That Scottish punk rocker? Mystique.

That bird? Also Mystique. If someone is not a main character then they are Mystique.

Sometimes if someone is a main character they are still Mystique, like the episode where it turns out that Professor X was Mystique for the whole season

Magneto menacingly twirls paperclips in the air in like half the scenes

Magneto refuses to stand and instead floats at all times, even if it’s just an inch above the ground

Magneto is only shown as a helmet hiding in the shadows for the entire first season

Storm is boss as hell and was worshiped as a goddess when she was younger

There was an episode where all of the girls lowkey started a gang and tore shit up and kicked the asses of villains more effectively than the entire X-team did for the whole series???

Wolverine and Sabretooth fought every time they saw each other. In the mall? On top of a parking garage? While on motorcyles? Fight WITH THE MOTORCYCLES? Like they could literally smell one another miles away and they would run through the whole city just to fight one another, it’s ridiculous

The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants crashed a high school soccer game once

Everyone in the Brotherhood is a sassy asshole and I love it, esp Quicksilver

Professor X is completely unfit to supervise children but people keep giving him their children to supervise

Including his own son, whom he, predictably, also failed to supervise

There was an episode where hunters caught Beast because they thought he was Bigfoot

Right before Jean was going to confess her ~feelings~ to Scott Mystique fucking kidnaps him and throws him to wolves in the desert lol. Professor X also refused to believe another fucking telepath when she said Scott was in danger

One of the characters joins a cabal of sewer mutants after he is disfigured by drinking soda that functions as mutant poison

Magneto had some secret headquarters at a ski resort

Blob knows how to make radish roses

The show is surprisingly positive and has great female characters and also some really good commentary about marginalized groups???

It’s also really true to the comics and does a lot of great side characters justice

Wolverine is like two feet tall in the show, just like in the comics, he’s a great angry munchkin tbh

Yo,my dad was on a hike and walked straight into one of these things. It was on his face and everything. My uncle and him took pictures of it afterwards and it looked like it was smiling.

Those things are definitely nightmare fuel dipped in yellow paint.

[Caption start]

*Speaking quickly* So before Halloween I decided to get online and try to look for some abandoned cemeteries.

So I ended up finding one but it was in the middle of the woods so I decided to just plug some coordinates and take a chance. And I found something a helluva lot scary.

As I am walking the path to find this abandoned cemetery, um… *voice getting louder* Hands! Hands! Everywhere!!

By now you’re probably thinking to yourself, easyise, hands don’t just crawl what are you talking about? You would be correct.

Um- SPIDERS! FUCKING SPIDERS! DRACULARACHNIDS THE SIZE OF MY FUCKING HAND!!!

So after pissing myself and driving home, uh- I came home and looked it up on the internet and found exactly what it was I saw.

*Louder voice but not quite yelling* And here it is fam! Uh people like to call ‘em golden silk orb weaver *voice getting louder* but I like to call them NIGHTMARE FUEL DIPPED IN YELLOW FUCKING PAINT.

*Yelling* YOU SEE THE UNHOLY SIZE OF- THERE IS NOTHING AMAZING ABOUT THAT ON YOUR FACE!!

WHAT KIND OF ALIEN VS PREDATOR SCP SATAN SHIT-

IS THAT ONE EATING A FUCKING BIRD?!?!

THIS THING IS LIKE VOLDEMORT FUCKED A DEMAGORGON BUT SURE LET’S PUT IT ON A GREETING CARD!!!

*In a incredulous tone* SATAN DOESN’T EXIST?!?! THEN WHY WAS I MET WITH A FOREST-FUL OF THIS SHIT?

CHECKMATE ATHEISTS!

[Caption End]

Me too

We used to look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars. Now we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt.

@ronsweasley asked: interstellar or joker

them: so whats it like to be in a lego fandom? me: well….

tony in his grave:

I only did this because of what Michael did in the Great British baking show or whatever it's called. Peeling an onion with a potato peeler like bruh.

I drew this at midnight, me and my sister kept screwing around and not going to sleep so ignore the badly drawness.

Cat

*another piece of my soul dies*

I won’t crack the roof with lightning over you, Logan. I won’t even flood the basement. I’m just going to run a little breeze through your musky den… and miss you.