Girl, You Don’t Even Know How Far I’d Drag This Man By His Mutton Chops…

In the first twenty minutes of episode one:

Meanwhile, David:

Twink death jump scare

Cash cow:

pay pig:

and the third, sexiest option

whore horse:

I love you guys

“My body, use it. Feed the men.”

Diaper baby

Crozier: I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation. We would be committing an act of hubris of which we may not survive.

Sir John:

You know it’s bad when someone closes the door to yell at you 😬

Bonus:

*Dundy listening through the door*

Hickey at any given moment:

Me to my friend I forced to watch The Terror: You wanna get crunk off the Peruvian (take an edible) and wander out into the Arctic void with me (watch The Terror again)? ❤️

My friend (nervously): Can I go home now, please?

Me:

Why does late game Ned always look like someone just poured water over his head, and then called him a slur?

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Except that one magical moment were he smiles:

Now everyone say, “Thank you Mr. Jopson for being one of the reasons Ned can express joy.”