No But Imagine Aegon Rocking Up To The Free Bar At The Funeral Of Some Woman He’s Never Met, Getting

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Steve makes one of those teacher tiktok accounts where he mostly talks about teaching and tips for learning and stuff, he also posts videos like

“You wonder what it’s like to be a teacher? I’m spending my evening doing seating arrangements, the trick is to not let people who have any kind of tension, are close friends, have a crush, lose concentration easily, sit close to each other… so basically I’m playing sudoko but I only have 1, 2s, and 3s… and also the numbers change daily..” you can see him looking down at something wrinkling his eyebrows and then nodding to himself and he’s like “I think I got it though”

the next day he duets it and it’s just him looking tired and in the background you can hear incoherent shouting, the caption just says ‘there’s apparently been a breakup’

for some reason there’s a comment by Eddie Munson, famous rockstar, that’s like “you should let it play out, drama is what high school is about” and Steve has just replied “this is why you repeated senior year twice” not acknowledging at all that this famous Grammy winner commented and everyone are just like ??? ?? what are you doing here ??? and why is this high school teacher roasting u ???

so much mike discussion and it is so early but im once again thinking about how mike’s coming home to learn that eddie died and for him that’s very much so a “this is what happens to boys like me” moment because of how much he aspired to be like eddie and be himself and on top of that he has his conflict with lucas that they haven’t talked through so he still thinks lucas wishes they were all normal and there’s the fact that he just lost all his hope that will could return his feelings because of the push towards loving el and el is about to break up with him and to mike that means losing her entirely because he doesn’t think he matters to her outside of being her boyfriend. literally everything is telling mike that being himself is bad and trying to be someone else is bad so what’s he meant to even do at that point??? like he’s been alone emotionally for a long time but now he’s actually alone and no one is gonna care beyond him not helping with the plans and him not caring at that point and im just shdbdhxsnzjchhhsn hzjsbdkddbzjdkdbhznc mi chael

dustin when mike improvs the tiniest thing in existence as a weapon in self defence against his new pet: DON'T HURT HIM!!!

dustin when steve improvs an oar as a weapon in self defence against his new friend: don't worry! steve'll get him with his oar :)

it's not even that dustin didn't think eddie was a threat while dart was cause he thought dart was his little meow meow at that point. he thought it was unnecessary both times. he just respects mike more when he's in Protection Mode. although i do think he learned not to mock steve pretty quick after the "almost got his throat slit immediately after being mocked for being cautious" incident cause steve grabbed that lamp at the school and there wasn't a WORD said about it (even after "I COULD'VE TAKEN YOU OUT WITH THIS LAMP")

after dealing with the tunnels, steve takes all the kids back to the byers house to wait for any news about will or el or the lab. he's finally crashing from the adrenaline rush, and the concussion is making itself known now full force.

he's pretty much dead to the world and collapsed on the couch. dustin and lucas are sticking close by, worried he's gonna just up and die on them when hopper finally makes it back.

steve is only hearing every other word when he finally gets jostled to sit up, and he feels rough hands on his face, trying to open his eyelid.

"look alive, harrington. you know where you are?"

steve grumbles, annoyed that he's being woken up like this, "yeah, yeah. i'm at the byers."

his head was gently placed back on the couch, "heard you got your bell rung by that hargrove prick."

steve sighed, deep and heavy, already feeling himself slipping away to dreamland, "better me than the kids. take a plate to the dome, any day. "

there was a snort somewhere in front of him and he felt a hand ruffle his hair, firm yet careful, "good boy, don't do it again."

it took a moment for the words to settle in his rattled brain, but as soon as hopper was walking away, steve was suddenly feeling very awake. a heat crept up his neck as a mortifying wave of arousal swam in his gut.

"good boy."

"good boy."

"good boy."

oh no.

--

years later, after starcourt and russians and dual confessions of being not-so-heterosexual, steve and robin became friends.

months after, when they sat around steve's empty mansion, drinking his dad's expensive liquor, robin had to ask, "how did you find out?"

"hmm?"

"how did you find out you were, y'know...whatever you are. swing for both teams and such?"

steve snorted, " 'and such' she says. i think we both need to be drunker for that conversation."

robin poked steve's side, "come oon, i told you my crush. throw me a bone here, steve-o."

he relented because, of course he would. he may have only known robin for less than a year, but it was scary just how much he was willing to show his true self to her so quickly.

"this stays in the room. you tell absolutely no one, or you'll wish you were sucked up by the giant flesh monster when you had the chance. "

she does some complicated hand sign to convey her loyalty and waits.

".........hopper said i was a good boy for protecting the kids, and i got a boner."

silence.

steve kept his eyes shut as the moment grew longer when he flinched at the slightest intake of breath from his best friend and prepared for the worst.

"man, the daddy issues run deep, huh?"

steve choked on saliva and hit her with a pillow, "THAT'S all you have to say!?"

robin was in tears, weakly defending herself against the pillow assault, "i'm sorry! mercy! it's just that it makes soooo much sense!"

steve didn't stop hitting her until they were both out of breath, laying next to each other and panting.

"i'm sorry your first man crush died."

steve hit her face with a pillow.

".......joyce is actually kind of hot so i get it--"

"SHUT UP!"

--

the very next year, after the murder of innocent teens, a manhunt, and the final battle won against the upside down, found steve sitting in eddie's lap.

after weeks of dancing around each other, cautiously flirting and yearning from afar, steve and eddie got their act together.

eddie dragged a hand up steve's neck and into his hair, his fingernails scraping softly against his scalp. it sent shivers down steve's spine, causing him to moan and let eddie slip through and suck on his tongue. steve bucked his hips up against eddie's in pleasure.

they separated, a string of saliva still attached to their lips that only broke when steve leaned forward and let his body sag completely onto eddie's. they stayed like that for a while, just listening to the other breathe, not wanting their little bubble to pop, and for reality to reach them.

eddie adjusted steve a bit, so he sat properly in his lap. steve, pliant and malleable, let it happen. it made eddie huff in amusement, nosing steve's temple and kissing his cheek, "you're such a good boy for me, aren't you."

steve immediately tensed and then let out a bark of laughter, "oh, thank god!"

eddie, rightfully confused, just blinked, "uhhh. mind sharing with the class what the fuck that was, harrington?"

steve just beamed, "i don't have daddy issues!"

"........WHAT?"

--

(after steve forced himself to explain his queer awakening, now embarrassed for speaking with no impulse control, eddie snickered uncontrollably into steve's chest. much to his chagrin.

once he calmed down, his smile turned devious and asked, "does this mean i'm gonna have to fight the chief for your affection? not sure i'm strong enough to do it, princess, i might have to forfeit."

steve struggled to suffocate him with a pillow, mostly because they were both laughing so hard.)

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

I absolutely will die on this hill, access to fiction that makes your skin crawl and open discussion about it is the best way to keep that skin crawling fiction from happening in reality.

It doesn't matter if it is ~positively~ or negatively portrayed. If you censor it, we don't talk about it, then we can't protect against it.

Besties. We know Bruce's adoption streak could outshine the sun, but have we considered:

Bruce is adopted, too, and he just. Forgot to tell his kids.

It all started with Damian hiding in the attic. He's an expert fighter, yes; An expert fighter who does not want to face Cass after eating the last muffin. Gracious as she is, Cassandra had her lines.

And he had to occupy his time with something. So there he is, flipping through photo albums covered in sheets of dust that leave him frowning. Alfred is careful and strict about cleaning.

The only reason why he wouldn't polished these, he weights, is because he couldn't find them. But why would anyone hide these?

He flips through pages and pages of his grandmother, glamours and sparkling and haughty, playing around with Baba; Chocholate pudding around their mouths at Galas. Playing dress up in her closet. A younger version of his Baba chewing on a pearl necklace.

There's pictures of his grandfather, too, except, -

Except. He's evidently not nearly as pale as his wife and child.

Damian blinks. Rubs his eyes. Maybe there's a mistake? Maybe this man with a sunbeam smile and warm eyes carrying Martha over his shoulder and Baba under his arm isn't Thomas.

But no; He watches the cursive, neat writing lovingly put down below the polaroid shot, - Tommy, Martha, and Bruce, 1998. Thomas dropped Bruce after Below it, another harsh scribble responds,

Gonna drop YOU next time, Cabron - T. Wayne

Note for future self; Don't let Thomas hold Bruce. - M. Wayne

He had to run down the stairs.

"GRANDFATHER WAS NOT CAUCASIAN. "

Bruce, lifting his gaze from the game of Batnopoly (Tim thought It'd be so funny), blinks at him, " He was Colombian, if you want to get technical."

" But you don't... Baba, you're, so, uh...Flavour-proof."

" Oh, he wasn't my biological father. He adopted me after he and mama got married." Everyone roasts Dick so hard because how the hell did HE not know?

" You always whine about " Oh I'm the only one who's not adopted!" That's cause you pull shit like this you clown bus"

" Parents aren't real people you seek information about, everyone knows that, JASON!"

The batkids soon start a game of finding Bruce's bio dad.

" I have no idea who he is."

"WHAT!"

"I have one father and he's probably arm wrestling God beyond the grave. And winning."