Ferrari's Satisfaction Test ; A 1655 Poem — Who Do You Trust With Tribute Here, When You've Been Chewed

The marshalls imitating Lawrence the lizard is so funny and dear to me

source

One of the best things of the weekend

Sometimes I am like "I don't care about the championship. It's just rich guys racing each other and earning millions while I am struggling to pay my electricity bill."

Most of the time I am like "SWAP POSITION OR THAT ONE POINT WILL COST THE ENTIRE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!" "COME ON CHARLES!!!" "YES MAX!! COMMIT SOME CRIMES, EARN THOSE POINTS." "SCREW THE FIA" "FUCK!!!"

hello!!! so — i must confess something. i have been thinking *very very verrrrry* much about taking mr. ln chaar to a desi wedding (like a cousin's wedding or something) and watching him get bombarded with rishtas when they find out he's british, the aunties and uncles not realising that he's actually *with* reader and not just some baraati/random tinku ke mausi ke bete ka dost.

Big, Fat Indian Wedding ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

i love writing typical indian ffs, cause we really are a bunch of crazies

⤑ ln x desi!reader ༉‧₊˚.

⤑ fluff + humour ༉‧₊˚.

masterlist ☾☼

"are you sure i look good?" lando had never worn a kurta before, but since y/n was attending someone's wedding, he had insisted on tagging along.

he turned to look at y/n, who stood beside the mirror, "babe, you look so good, i want to skip the wedding and spend the whole night here,"

lando giggled, turning red just slightly as he turned away from her, "y/n! stop!"

she laughed, throwing the dupatta at him.

lando held the dupatta in front of him, before putting it around his neck, and then looked at y/n for confirmation on whether it looked good or not. she nodded appreciatively.

y/n tucked her hand in lando's elbow, and the two exited the hotel room that the groom and bride had graciously offered them for the night, and walked to the venue.

lando, not being used to wearing a dhoti, fussed constantly about not accidentally stepping on it or getting it dirty. y/n could do nothing but watch her boyfriend take such good care and put in so much efforts to appreciate her culture.

when they stepped in, the two were immediately greeted with some of y/n's relatives at the gate.

"y/n! beta, how are you? we don't see you anymore!" an old man exclaimed.

y/n immediately untucked her hand and joined them together, "namaste, nanaji. i'm good, how have you been? your health?"

seeing the gesture that y/n had done, lando immediately copied, remembering when she had explained to him the basic courtesies of her culture.

"arre, beta, sab theek, sab theek," he continued talking, but lando, not understanding the language, walked ahead, getting lost in the bright flowery venue.

every surface had lights and flowers. there was a square stage in the middle of the area, which had it's own little roof made out of strings of flowers going from one side to the other. there were chairs facing the stage from all four directions. the bride and groom were standing, posing for pictures with a bunch of people, laughing and accepting gifts and envelopes.

lando's attention was focused on the stage, and without realising, he took a seat somewhere in the middle, eyes transfixed on the bride and groom. he watched as groups of people went up the stage, and the bride and the groom took turns explaining the relations, and then everyone turning to the camera for pictures.

he watched as the bride and groom smiled instantly when people arrived, and then softly spoke to each other when they found little moments in between. he watched as the groom wrapped an arm around his bride's waist and smiled so lovingly at her. lando wondered if this is what his marriage to y/n would look like. would she look as gorgeous as the bride? would he look as in love as the groom?

suddenly, a woman sat beside him. it wasn't y/n. definitely not. because this woman was almost double his age, and had a glint in her eye that he wasn't sure he liked.

"namaste, beta. kaha se ho tum?" the woman said, joining her hands in front of her like y/n had done before.

lando immediately copied, but continued to stare at her confusedly. "um, i don't really speak hindi. i'm so sorry,"

the woman's eyes lit up, "ohho! are you from america? where is that accent from?"

"i'm actually british. i'm not from america."

"british yani london?"

"yeah! yeah, london." lando said.

the woman immediately turned, calling out to her friends or relatives, lando didn't know, "arre, jaldi aao! london se munda hai! rishta nikaal lo!"

a group of ladies surrounded him now, and lando began to panic. he looked around for y/n, but failed to see her in the sea of people.

"you're from london, yes?" one of the women said.

"uh, yeah," lando began to stand, "actually, i'm looking for-"

the woman from before pulled at his arm, seating him again, "you were not looking for anyone. shut up and sit."

lando felt like a deer at the centre of a pride of lions. the women all stared at him, smiling and waiting, and he could not figure out just what they wanted from him.

suddenly, a woman shoved her phone in front of his face, her screen brightness so high, it made lando squint. "tell me, boy, do you like her?"

lando looked at the picture of her daughter, he assumed, "um, yeah, she's nice,"

"good, good. she's a doctor. she can move with you to london. doesn't have to work if you don't want her to,"

"what? no! why would she move to london with me? why would she leave her job?"

a different woman shoved her phone in his hand this time, "forget her. you look at her and tell me if you like her,"

"i'm sure all your daughters are really beautiful, but i'm here with-" lando tried to explain.

"tell me, what's your birthdate? kundli nikaal ke dekh lenge jiski jodi acchi banti hai,"

"13th november," lando responded, hoping that if he gave the women what they wanted, they would leave him alone.

"year?"

"1999,"

the women stared at their respective phones for a few minutes, and lando tried to use their distraction to escape. he was unsuccessful, as the previous woman who had tried to stop him before, stopped him again, this time keeping a firm grip on his arm.

"what do you do for a living?" the interrogation began again.

"uh, i'm a driver, a-"

the women all made disapproving sounds in unison, "matlab paisa kam hoga,"

"par, london mein gaadi chalayega toh paisa apne desh se toh zyaada hi hoga na,"

there were murmurs of agreement. lando looked for y/n again.

"how many properties you own?"

lando was confused by the line of questioning, but the firm hand on his arm stopped him from running away like he wanted to.

"one in monaco, and one in somerset, but that's my parents' place," he responded.

"yeh monaco kidhar aata?"

"arre, europe mein hi hoga kahi par. paisa hai iske paas, ladkiyaan khushi khushi reh sakti hai,"

"you have big family?" another question directed towards lando.

"i've got two sisters and a brother." he said.

"sasuraal mein rehna padega shaayad,"

"europe-sheurope mein sasuraal kuchh nahi hota hai. shaadi ke baad, sab alag alag rehne lagte hai,"

the women began discussing again. looking around for the millionth time, lando finally found his girlfriend.

y/n was standing a little far away, staring right at lando and his group of old women. she looked like she was trying not to laugh, as she conversed with another woman. lando sent her a pleading look, almost begging her to come save him.

y/n, seeing lando's look of fear, rolled her eyes, smiling, and began walking towards him. a hand cupped lando's cheeks, and pulled his attention back to the women surrounding him.

"how many kids you want? we want two, at least. we are okay for more also,"

lando blushed. why were strange women asking how many kids he wanted in his future? that was a conversation that he was only ever going to have with y/n, his girlfriend, the woman he was going to marry.

before he could respond, y/n's voice rang from behind him, "namaste, mamiji, chachiji, maasiji,"

the women lit up, talking over each other and greeting y/n. lando felt slightly calm now that his girlfriend was around, but he also knew that she was trouble. lando didn't know what to expect at this point.

"accha, y/n, batao, yeh ladke ko tum jaanti ho? london se hai," one of the women asked.

"haanji, jaanti hu na. mere saath aaya hai," she said.

"tumhare saath matlab?"

"arre, bhai hoga iska,"

"bhai-behen jaise lagte nahi hai, bhai kidhar se ho gaya?"

"duur ka rishtedaar ho sakta hai,"

"dost hoga varna,"

"dost ko kyu lekar aayegi voh,"

the women all spoke at once, arguing with each other. lando didn't know what he could do, and despite wanting to leave, the woman sitting beside him still had a firm grip on his arm.

"actually, humari sagaai hone vali hai. aaj bas puri family se milne aaya hai,"

whatever y/n had said, it had worked wonders, because the women immediately fell silent and stared at y/n. lando was just glad that the attention wasn't on him anymore.

"arranged hai ya love?"

"love marriage hai,"

"kitne saalo se jaante ho ek dusre ko?"

"6 years,"

"tumhare mummy papa ko pata hai?"

"haanji, unko sab pata hai,"

they all fell silent, looking at each other. it made lando think that maybe they were talking telepathically. it worried him. it scared him. more than crashing out on the track somehow.

"tumhare ladke ne bataya nahi. humari sabki ladkiyon ko dekh raha tha," one of them said, glaring at lando.

"itne saare nay log dekh kar darr gaya. aur aapne bolne bhi kaha diya usko?" y/n chuckled like she was making a joke, but no one else laughed. lando was so so confused.

slowly, the women stood up one by one, talking to y/n and bidding him goodbye. lando couldn't do much but just wave at them.

when the women were far far away from lando, he immediately got up and turned to his girlfriend, "who were they? why were they holding me captive? did i do something to offend them? why were they showing me pictures of their daughters?"

y/n laughed, grabbing his hands in hers and pulling him closer over the chair. she pecked his lips repeatedly, waiting for lando to calm down and kiss her properly. she knew people were watching, especially the old women who had just been sitting there, but she had told them that they were going to get married, so a little pda wouldn't matter that much.

his arms around her waist, lando pulled back, "baby, seriously,"

y/n laughed again, "those were relatives from all over. they thought that you were a single man, and they wanted to fix you up with one of their daughters for an arranged marriage,"

"what? why?"

"arranged marriages are very common in india, or southern asia in general. the arranged couple meet, talk a little, their horoscopes and stuff are matched, the parents talk about expectations from the in-laws, the dowry, all of that stuff," y/n explained.

"so, if you don't wanna get an arranged marriage, what do you do?"

"what we're doing. it's a love marriage. i fell in love with a man and i want to marry him, so i introduce him to my family, and the horoscopes, expectations, dowry all happens,"

lando was quiet for a second, his fingers tapping against her waist, his teeth biting his lip as he thought about something. "what if i don't want the dowry? like, i understand the horoscopes thing that its to see how compatible we are, right? but, is the dowry necessary?"

y/n kissed him again, "while it is the usual norm of the groom's family to take some kind of dowry, it's not necessary. it depends on the groom and his family,"

he wrapped his arms around her tighter, "okay, well, this groom and his family have decided to not take a dowry,"

y/n laughed, "i love you,"

lando smiled, "i love you too,"

the two turned to look at the bride and groom on stage. they watched as the groom kneeled on the floor and helped the bride with her shoes.

"is that going to be us one day?" lando softly asked.

"is that what you want? a big, fat indian wedding?" y/n countered.

"i want everything that's a part of you. if a big, fat indian wedding is a part of you, your dreams, i want it,"

"yeah, that's going to be us one day."

lando turned back towards the stage, a happiness spreading in his chest. he couldn't wait for his big, fat indian wedding.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

i hope you guys enjoyed this! i know a lot of people won't enjoy this, because a lot of the dialogues are in hindi, but i really hope all my desi girlies love this! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!

LANDO NORRIS via McLaren

crazy how fanfic authors drop the most beautiful and gorgeous pieces of work ever, leaving you speechless and sobbing at three in the morning as you quietly contemplate the masterpiece you just read

and they don’t get paid for it they just do it because they’re having fun and they want to share their joy with you

like I would literally die for all of you fanfic authors out there reblog to swear your allegiance to fanfic authors

nico rosberg is a triple threat. haunting the narrative, being haunted by the narrative, and sometimes narrating the narrative (on sky sports)

There are no words to adequately describe how obsessed with this I am 😭

From redbullracing on Instagram

landolog had me on the floor i love our muppet

“Your rear wing passed all the tests. Congrats you gamed the system and brought some good innovation to your design. But everyone is calling us a joke. Like more than usual. Sooooo you still have to change it.”

- the FIA to McLaren this morning, probably

mclaren civil war blah blah blah end of ferarri blah blah blah whatever lando sat on checo with brand new tires to keep him off oscar for as long as he could and said let my boy cook and carlos made the ultimate sacrifice trying to keep charles up front with tires that were disintegrating and he succeeded