Sicksadchild - !!!!!!!!

Unlocking a traumatizing memory that’s haunting you like 

i'm so thankful for the fact that my boyfriend is understanding of the fact that i need more reassurance and affection than most people and that i often get scared that he'll leave me and i'm also proud of myself for handling everything so well because i'm assuring him that none of this is his fault and that i thank him for listening to me and i try to stay as calm as possible when i get anxious and i've improved so much compared to last year

tumblr user bpdbpdbpdbpd in the actuallybpd tags who has bpd as their blog title and "borderline personality disorder" in their description: wow that relatable bpd feel when [12 bpd specific terms]

neurotypicals: um how was i supposed to know it was a bpd thing ???? i thought ???? it was ??????? for neurotypicals ?????????????

I wasn’t abused for 20 fucking years so I could be told I am lucky or fascinating or complex. My abuse did not enhance my personality. It fucking destroyed me. I am not ‘inspiration porn’ for you to get off on. I am not public property for you to appropriate and plagiarize so you can feel edgy. You want to be abused so badly? Go find someone to abuse you but never, ever try to take the memories and narratives of victims and mimic them. We do not exist to be gawked at. We do not exist to be statistics in your fucking pamphlets. Fuck off.

(takeachillquill)  (via takeachillquill)

If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.

I know there’s a lot of pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful or mean.

If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.

You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.

wanna come over sometime? we can traumatic flashbacks and chill?

free space is “if i tell anyone they’ll just pity me”